by Katie Dowe
“I am going with you.” Kurt said with a firm look on his face. “I am not letting you do this by yourself.”
It was early morning and he was getting ready to head out. She had abandoned all effort to sleep in her room because he would come and get her if she was not there.
“You are not responsible for me Kurt.”
“Like hell I am not!” he shoved his feet into his boots and came over to haul her into his arms. “I want to take care of you. I want to be there for you every step of the way.”
She trembled as she saw the stormy look in his eyes. His passion and emotions overwhelmed her so much so that at times she was scared by it. “Please let me.”
She bent her head to his solid chest and breathed in. “I am afraid that my memory will never come back and that’s not fair to you.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” He tilted her chin up. “I will go on out and come back in time to take you.”
“Your mother and sisters will start wondering--”
“I don’t give a damn.” He told her slowly. “I want them to know.”
“You promised me--”
“Yes,” he bit off a sigh. “I did and I regret it.”
“Kurt.”
He kissed her roughly on the mouth. “I will keep the promise as long as I am able.”
*****
“Everything checks out fine,” Ian told her with a smile, his glance swiveling to the silent man leaning against the window, his expression unreadable. He had not been the least bit surprised to see Kurt show up with Alexis.
“Except that my memory has not returned,” Alexis said fretfully, her dark brown eyes troubled. “What could be so terrible that it is causing me not to remember?”
“I cannot answer that Alexis,” Ian told her gently. “It will happen one day — just give it time.” He looked over at Kurt. “Would you mind giving us a few minutes, Alexis? I need to speak to Kurt about something ranch related.”
“Of course. I will go out front and talk to one of the nurses.” She got to her feet and her eyes met his. He had been quiet on the way here and had not said anything to her about what was bothering him.
He nodded to her and she left, closing the door behind her.
“She thinks I am hiding something from her.” Kurt said grimly as he gripped the rim of his hat in his fingers.
“Aren’t you?”
“This has nothing to do with her.”
“You have a murmur in your heart that is not going away Kurt. You are going to have to get surgery done.”
“I have work to do and I cannot put this on her. She is worried about her memory.”
“So you are a couple?”
“I want us to be,” he said with a short laugh. “No one knows yet because she wants to get her memory back before she commits.” He plunged his fingers through his unruly hair and turned to stare outdoors. He was hoping they would get a lovely day for the dance tomorrow but he could see the angry dark clouds hanging down. “Quite a pair, aren’t we? I have a heart problem and she has problem with her brain.”
“Perfect couple.” Ian said with a straight face.
Kurt turned to look at him and laughed. “Yea, we are. I will let you know about surgery. Am I on the brink of dying?”
“You are not there, not by a long shot. Have you told Tessa and Kathy? I am assuming Erica knows?”
“No. I have not told them and I don’t want them to know yet.”
“Kurt.”
“I will get to it.”
*****
He took her hand as soon as they got into the vehicle and held on to it as he drove them back to the ranch. Each time they hit a rough patch on the road, his hand would tighten on hers. He seemed to be in a contemplative mood and she had no intention of disturbing him. She had her own thinking to do anyway.
“I want children with you,” They were a few miles from the ranch when he said it.
She looked at him startled. “Where did that come from?”
He shrugged and looked back onto the road. “I never thought about a family before until I met you. Being a cowboy was always my life but when I saw you I started feeling different.” His hand tightened on hers. “I want to marry you.”
There was silence after his statement and Alexis felt her heart hammering inside her chest. If only she could say yes! If things were different and she was free to love him and accept his offer she would be telling him yes.
“You are going too fast.” She said angrily. “We don’t know each other well enough for that.”
“We sleep together in the same bed every night. We make love so many times that I have lost count. We know each other where it matters.”
“It’s just sex Kurt and you need to know the difference.”
He stopped the car at the gate and turned off the engine. “You know better than that Alexis. It is not just sex.”
Chapter 6
“What do you think?” Kathy asked, her blue eyes sparkling as she looked at the different cowboys trying put a rope around the bull’s neck. There were hay baling contests as well as bronco riding. The entire ranch had been decorated and even though it was cold out and it looked as if it would rain at any minute the excitement could not be quelled. The kitchen staff had taken the cooking outside and smokes billowed from various fires lit and the smell of barbecuing and grilling filled the air. People milled around with children watching in excitement as cows were milked. The women were the ones participating in that particular activity with the winner getting a lifetime supply of fresh cow’s milk along with a thousand dollar voucher.
“I think this is a high form of entertainment,” Alexis said as she looked around. She had seen Kurt roping a steer earlier and had felt her heart stopped as he cleared a very high fence on the back of his horse. “Who is that?” she nodded to a blonde who was talking to Kurt.
“That’s Connie,” Kathy said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “She fancies herself being Mrs. Kurt Murphy.”
“Oh?” Alexis felt the gut wrenching jealousy as she stared at the delicate looking blonde girl. She had seen her once before but had not paid her any attention and Kurt had not said anything to her about her.
“She has that delusion for more than a year now and cannot seem to get the hint that Kurt is not interested in her that way.”
“Maybe he is giving her hope.”
“Her family and ours have been friends for years so she naturally assumes that something will happen.” Kathy waved to a dark haired girl at the other end of the corral. “Excuse me Alexis, I need to talk to someone.”
“Of course,” Alexis told her. She felt her hands clenching into fists as she saw the girl put her hand on Kurt’s arm and smiled up at him. She was petite and barely came to his chest. And they looked so good together!
“You look as if you want to take the battle to her.” Tessa’s voice beside her caused her to jump.
“You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“I have been standing here for a few seconds but you did not notice because you were so busy staring daggers at poor Connie.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Alexis told her with forced lightness.
“He is not interested in her,” Tessa continued, ignoring what she just said. “She has been in love with him since she was a kid and when she grew up she hoped he would finally see her. But she is just a sister to him and more so now that he met you.”
She turned to face the girl. Tessa looked relaxed and unlike her business like self in a faded denim and a beautiful lacework strawberry blouse that hugged her bosom. Her hair was loose around her face and drifted past her shoulders. Alexis had heeded Kathy’s advice and was wearing the figure hugging denims tucked into black leather boots and the champagne colored blouse. Her thick dark hair was loose and she had tied a bandana around her head to keep the hair away from her face.
“You don’t think it is a good idea for us to be together, do you?” Alexis asked the girl qu
ietly.
“I love my brother and want him to be happy but what if you get your memory back and decide that this is not where you want to be?”
“I love it here,” Alexis looked around. “I was born in the city and I think that was where I lived and worked,” she knitted her brow. “I am confused about a lot of things including what I feel for him but I will do my best not to hurt him.”
“That’s good enough for me.” She looked over and a smile covered her face. “He is coming over to rescue you. He probably thinks I am filling your head with misgivings. He is very protective of you and I think everyone knows where he stands.”
“Hey,” he took her arm and his eyes went to his sister. “Everything okay?”
“We were just talking about the excitement,” Alexis told him before Tessa could respond.
“And I see Ian over by the stables looking lost. See you later.” With a wave Tessa was gone.
“Did you have a good talk with Connie?” she asked him casually.
He looked down at her and his eyes crinkled in amusement. “Is that jealousy I hear?”
“Why should I be? Just because she was all over you and you were doing nothing to stop her, that’s no cause for me to be jealous, is there? And just because you have known her all your life and she is expecting you to pop the question any minute now. Why should I be jealous? And the fact that you have not mentioned her to me, there is absolutely no cause for me to be jealous. After all it is not like I own you.” She was unaware that her dark brown eyes were flashing or that her stance was defensive but he noticed.
“I am sorry baby,” he said quietly. “I should have told you. I told her that I am interested in someone else.”
“And how did she take it?”
“Not well, I am afraid.” He took her hands in his. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted to let everyone know where we stand. I want there to be clarity.”
“You know why I cannot.” She felt relief thudding through her at his words. She had been so jealous that she had wanted to march over there and confront the poor girl.
“And I am trying my best to respect that.” He pulled her hand through his arm. “Let’s go watch the boxing match between Jake and Paulie. It should be fun.”
Connie watched them together and she knew! He had let her down gently and told her that he was in love with someone else. He told her that he only thought of her as a sister and that will always be the case. She had come into their lives unexpectedly and taken her man away. Connie’s light blue eyes glittered with hate as she looked at the beautiful black girl. She stiffened as she saw her laugh at something he said and the attentive way he angled his head to look down at her. He had never looked at her like that and she felt the pain piercing her heart and the need for revenge surfacing!
*****
“You want me to apologize?” his tone was insolent as he looked at her. He was tired and felt as if every bone in his body had been pulverized. He had entered every contest imaginable and had won a good amount of awards but now at one in the morning he was feeling every punch and every fall. He was dirty and just wanted to take a shower and hit the sack. But Kathy had come to find him and her long blonde hair and perfect skin had him thinking different. He should not have gotten involved with her. It had been amusing at first and his heart had not been involved because he knew he would be heading out soon. Now the look on her exquisitely beautiful face was twisting his gut and he could not afford that.
“I want you to tell me why you are behaving like an ass.” She said as she came towards him. She had watched him try to kill himself and had felt as if she was going to die each time. “You were almost killed out there, Jake. What were you trying to prove?”
“That I am better than the ones who entered the contests. And I did that.” He bit off a groan as he felt the pain in his chest. He had probably bruised a rib or two.
“What’s wrong?” she rushed over and started feeling his chest.
“Go to bed Princess,” he told her insolently. “I don’t need a nurse.”
“Your insults are not going to work tonight.” She told him coolly. She pushed the shirt off him and looked down at the bruises on his skin. “Idiots,” she muttered as she passed her fingers over his skin. “Sit and let me get some alcohol.”
“I don’t need--”
“Too damned bad,” she told him grimly. “I am not leaving.”
*****
“This was a mistake,” Tessa rolled away and got off the bed hurriedly. “It should not have happened.”
“And yet it did,” Ian said mildly as he watched her scrambling to find her clothes. He had been in love with her since they were kids but when he went away to medical school and came back she had been involved with some jackass who had broken her heart. She had closed herself in and he had not been able to get through to her. Tonight they had talked and ate and drank more than their fair share of liquor. He had persuaded her to come back home with him and he had made love to her over and over again, losing himself into her quiet beauty. Now she was having regrets.
“It cannot happen again.” she gave up looking for her bra and pulled her blouse over her head. It was almost two a.m. and she had to go home before anyone notices. It was a good thing that it was Sunday so she could sleep in.
“It will,” he climbed off the bed and caught her into his arms. She pushed at him but he would not budge. His head lowered and he took her lips with his in a deep invasive kiss that had her clutching him. He lifted her and took her back to bed and she did not resist but allowed him to take off her clothes again. With a moan, she opened up for him and drowned out the voice of reason!
*****
“Good morning darling,” Erica said smoothly as her eldest daughter tried to sneak into the living room and go on to her suite. She could have entered the side but she had not taken her keys with her. And Ian had persuaded her to stay for a few more hours and now it was almost five a.m. She had not expected to see anyone up and about after the night they had had.
“Mother!” her hands flew to her chest at her mother’s voice. “You almost scared me to death.”
“Late night? Someone needed some financial advice and it took all night?” Erica sipped her tea as she looked at her daughter. There was a cheerful fire blazing in the huge hearth and the large living room looked cozy and warm.
“I had something to do--”
“Sit darling,” Erica patted the space next to her on the plump sofa. Tessa came and did so reluctantly. “You are an adult and pretty much free to do what you want to do. I am a very fortunate woman because I have all three of my children living with me. You have your own suites to afford you privacy. You have spent the night out with Ian and that man has been in love with you since you were children, you owe me no explanations. But when I see my son secretly sleeping with a woman we consider to be our guest and not saying anything about it, then I start to feel as if my children think I am a monster who was never young. Kathy sneaks out and sneaks back in in the early mornings and I suspect it is due to that young man Jake, a very handsome fellow.” She looked up at her daughter. “I have eyes in my head darling and I was young once.”
“It just happened.”
“No excuses or explanation.” Erica reached over and patted her daughter’s hands. “He is a terrific young man and you deserve some happiness. As for your brother and sister, I am going to sit back and wait for them to come to me.”
“They won’t.”
“We will see.”
*****
“Could I talk to you for a minute?” Tessa said quietly as she entered the office assigned to Alexis.
Alexis looked up at her distractedly. It had been a week since the barn dance and it was as if the place had gotten busier. November had come in and she could not believe the icy cold!
“How does this sound: ‘Murphy’s Ranch continues to produce the finest cattle in the land. Hence the meats are products of animals who have been given the best nutrition avai
lable to them. The stamp on the wrappings live up to its name and we at Murphy’s Ranch promise that we continue to have our customers best interests at heart.’”
“It sounds wonderful.”
“You know the fear of beef is still in the air.”
“Yes,” Tessa sat on the chair in from of the desk and folded her hands in her lap.
“Oh sorry.” Alexis put aside the IPod she had been using. “You have my full attention.”
“You and Kurt--”
“I am not discussing that with you. He is your brother and I know you want what is best for him but it is between the two of us.”
Tessa smiled slightly at the girl’s tone. “I was just going to say that you and Kurt seem to be making it work. How?”
Alexis leaned back in her chair and looked at the girl. “I have no clue,” she said with a laugh. “Your brother is very persuasive and no matter what I come up with he has something to make me think it will work. I still have my doubts.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Alexis frowned a little bit and thought about it. “I don’t know what happened before the crash and the events leading up to it. I don’t remember where I lived after I left my parents’ place or if I was involved with someone. It is frustrating and I want to be fair to him.”
“But he does not care about that.”
“He does not. It is really frustrating.” She said with a whimsical laugh.
“You are falling in love with him.”
“What? No. At least I don’t think so. It’s too soon and as I said I don’t remember--”
“You don’t have to explain to me.” Tessa told her with a smile. “You are good for him.” She looked down at her hands. “I fell in love once and I fell hard. It was after I had given him my heart and body that I found out he had played me. He was married and his wife was studying in Europe. I was crushed and did not want to live. My family helped me through it and I swore that it would never happen to me again.” she looked at Alexis. “I spent last Saturday night with Ian.”