by Alicia Rae
Jason carried the bags as we made our way back to his motorcycle. We needed to get back on the road since we still had a long route still ahead of us.
As we neared his Super Glide, his attention bounced back and forth between his saddlebags and our purchases. “I have no idea how all of this will fit into those two small side pouches,” he said with wonder, handing me our bags. He crouched down and unclasped the leather straps on the bike.
“Psh, don’t you worry.” I shrugged, waving my hand at him. “I’ll make it fit. You’ll see,” I added, switching positions with him.
“This, I gotta see,” he responded, leaning back against his Harley in his signature pose, crossing one leg over the other.
I returned my gaze to the saddlebags, noticing one was already half full with a leather jacket, a flashlight, and an emergency kit.
“Hmm…” I folded a few of the items and neatly placed what I could in the first side. “You didn’t tell me you already had stuff in here.”
Jason chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “I might have accidently left that part out.”
“I see that,” I teased.
I went around to the other side of the Super Glide and saw a pair of leather chaps taking up half of the second compartment. I couldn’t help but wonder what his ass would look like in all that premium leather clinging to his muscular body. My thoughts filled with lewd images of him wearing them.
“You were holding out on me,” I said, pointing to the chaps. “You never told me you owned a pair of these. Why aren’t you wearing them?”
“I only wear them when it’s cold. You’ll get to see them on me in a few weeks.” He grinned impishly at me.
The facial expression he was giving me sent all my blood rushing south.
“For the first time ever, I can say I’m looking forward to fall,” I responded, mirroring his smirk.
“Don’t worry. I’m getting you a pair, so I can see that gorgeous ass of yours in them.”
“Good to know.” I winked as I smiled at him.
I rotated back to start folding the rest of the clothing as tightly as I could manage, and I suddenly started thinking about what our future held. Another few weeks would be here and gone before I knew it. I pondered over where we could be at that time in our blossoming relationship.
Since he had been staying at my condo nearly every night, we very well could be living together by then. He already had clothes in my closet, and he had been using the armoire that had previously been empty. I gently set the last item into the saddlebag while losing myself in all the many possibilities for us. Part of me wanted to officially ask him to move in, but the other said it was too soon.
Would it be such a big deal to make our living arrangement permanent?
“You look lost over there,” Jason said softly, breaking my concentration. “What are you thinking about?”
My heart leaped into my throat, pausing a beat, and then it began hammering with more force in my chest. I nervously rose to my feet and moved to stand in front of him, clenching and unclenching my palms that were beginning to feel sweaty. He eased his legs apart, making room for me, and I settled between them.
“Um…” I stalled, wanting to find the right words. For some reason, I never seemed to be good at choosing them. I decided that honesty was always the best policy. “I was thinking about our future,” I vaguely added, testing his reaction before I elaborated any further. I waited for his eyes to widen in shock or fear or for him to laugh at the idea since it was so soon in our relationship.
But he didn’t.
His eyes were soft and considerate, never breaking contact with mine. He extended his arms to me, drawing me closer. “And?” he breathed.
The way he was looking at me pulled me in as if forcing myself to admit how much he had come to mean to me. I was falling hard and fast, and it scared me senseless.
This moment was not one of those times when I could hold back. I wanted him to kiss me good night every night, and I wanted to wake up next to him each day, knowing he belonged by my side. I wanted him to stay through all of the good times and even the bad.
I wanted it all with him.
Because I was in love with him.
Surely, I couldn’t voice that quite yet. So, I would have to start with the easier of my two recent revelations. I let out a deep breath that I must have been holding for eternity as I became aware that he was still waiting for my response. “I want us to move in together.”
His eyes penetrated me with thoughtfulness glowing in them. “Going to bed and waking up with you in my arms every day?” He smiled. “I’d like that…a lot.”
The weight of his words and mutual feelings impacted me deeply.
If we weren’t in public, I would have tackled him to the ground right then and there.
“Really?” I asked goofily. I couldn’t believe the profound happiness I felt inside could possibly be real.
“Yes.” He nodded, caressing his hands along my hips with the familiar gentleness he always seemed to have with me. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”
“But what about your apartment?” I asked out of the blue, realizing I had never even seen it before.
Jason shrugged. “Most of my stuff is still in boxes, and what isn’t packed”—he grinned—“is already in your closet.”
I stood there, dazed in a trance, beaming over the fact that this was really going to happen. We were going to move in together.
“I’ll talk to the owner and see what he wants to do about the lease. I don’t foresee him having any trouble leasing it to someone else,” he added.
All I could do was smile. My cheeks were beginning to ache.
“Since I seem to have stunned you speechless, get over here and kiss me,” he demanded lovingly, yanking me into him.
I gently threw my arms around his nape, mindful of the bike we were leaning against, and I kissed him. As if reading my mind, he snuck his tongue into my mouth, and I gave myself over to our passionate embrace. Sparks ignited within me, and I felt as if I might burst with glee. His hands tightened around my sides, grasping me as though he never wanted to let me go.
A loud whistle made me break our connection. I spun around to see two teenagers snickering, but other than them, the coast was clear. I blushed and rotated back to Jason, who was sporting a satisfied look on his face. Jason stood to his full height and kissed my temple just once. I sighed, wishing we were alone so that I could ravish him.
“Come on, Abbey.” He chuckled. “Let’s ride.”
As we continued riding, I found myself cuddling against him, reveling over the freedom I had to touch his muscular stomach beneath my hands. I easily could have let go and stayed perfectly balanced on my seat.
But where is the fun in that?
I smiled, knowing I was one lucky girl.
It was half past eight by the time we pulled back into the parking lot of my condo. It was dark with only a few stars lighting up the sky and a limited number of lampposts brightening the sidewalk. I rose from the bike, mindful not to touch the hot pipes Jason had warned me about earlier, and I stretched my legs once standing on the pavement.
Jason lowered the kickstand of his motorcycle and gently eased the bike at an angle before rising off of it. We gathered our belongings out of the saddlebags before holding hands and sauntering up the sidewalk.
“So, what did you think of your first bike ride?” he asked, glancing sideways at me as we continued onward.
All I had done was ride on the back of his Super Glide, yet I felt high from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I couldn’t believe I had just been on a motorcycle for the first time ever. I had been seriously missing out over the years.
A smile spread across my features. “I loved every minute of it,” I replied honestly.
He gently squeezed my hand. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. We’ll have to do it again soon while the weather is still nice.”
“That sounds wonderful,�
� I said, turning back to face my condo. I came to an abrupt stop at the sight before me.
Pearl was sitting there, leaning back against the door. Her knees were curled up in front of her with her backpack propped on top of them. She was sound asleep with her head tilted to the side while resting on her bag.
I briefly glanced over at Jason, quickly identifying his sad expression at seeing the young girl. Then, he instantly switched gears, stiffening beside me.
“What the…” Jason said under his breath.
I could hear the confusion and underlying anger in his tone. I instantly dropped Jason’s hand and ran to her side, lowering on my haunches, as I wondered what she could possibly be doing here at this hour.
“Pearl,” I said on a whisper, gently rubbing her shoulder in an effort to rouse her.
She snapped her head up, looking frightened at first.
“Pearl, it’s just me,” I added as she began to come around.
She breathed a relieved sigh when she recognized me.
“What are you doing out here all alone, sweetie? Are you okay?” I asked in a quiet voice.
She nodded her head. “Yes. Diane said she had to work a double shift tonight, and I didn’t want to be alone. I told her I was coming over here.” Tears started to fill her eyes. “She said that was okay. I thought you’d be home soon, so I waited.”
I extended my hand and stroked her cheek, not sure if I understood all the details. “Of course you can come to my house,” I said, knowing that part definitely. “What time is Diane working until?” I asked, trying to make sense of her circumstances.
“She said until six in the morning. I’m scared to be by myself when it’s dark out, so that’s when I asked her if I could stay here, and she said yes.”
I frowned, not comprehending how Diane could allow a seven-year-old to make such arrangements without speaking to me. What would have happened if I were gone for the night? Would she have left Pearl by herself still? I let out a deep sigh, not wanting to think of such things.
Pearl was more than welcome to stay the night, but I still needed to confirm that it was okay with Diane.
“Pearl, do you have her number, so I can call her?”
“Yes,” she nearly sobbed. “It’s on the name tag on my backpack.”
“Okay, sweetie.” I rotated to face Jason and handed him my keys.
He regarded me questioningly as he grabbed them. I shook my head at him, knowing this was not the time or place to have a discussion with him. I needed to get Pearl inside first. She was still groggy with sleep.
Turning back to Pearl, I said, “Let’s get you inside and tucked into bed. Then, I’ll call Diane just to confirm that she’s okay with you staying with me.”
I picked her up, cradling her in my arms, as Jason unlocked the front door. I walked her straight to the spare bedroom across the hallway from my own. As I was contemplating how to draw back the big white comforter and sheets with Pearl close to my chest, Jason appeared at my side. He silently pulled back the covers. I gently laid Pearl on the mattress. A night-light on the far wall illuminated her features just enough so that I could see the outline of her face.
“Good night,” I whispered, covering her with the blankets.
She looked up at me and then Jason as she murmured, “Good night,” to both of us. Then, she smiled before she closed her eyes.
I grabbed her backpack, seeing the name tag dangling from the top. I strolled to the living room and sat down on the couch, letting out a whoosh of air that I felt like I’d been holding in since the moment I first saw her asleep at my door. Glancing at her backpack in my hands, I methodically ran my fingers over the worn material. I had no idea what to do. A million thoughts were running through my mind. This situation was wrong on so many levels. Pearl was far too young to be constantly left unattended day after day. My gut churned at seeing her so vulnerable and uncared for, yet I had no real knowledge of her home circumstances.
The first thing I needed to do was call Diane and hear her side of the story. Maybe there was a reasonable explanation for all of this. I reached for my cell phone and dialed the number on the tag. Each ring felt like an eternity was passing.
“Hello?” Diane answered.
“Hi, Diane. This is Abbey,” I replied.
“Hello, Abbey. I’m at work, so this has to be quick. Is Pearl okay?” she questioned.
It made me feel a tad better that she’d at least asked about Pearl first, but it still wasn’t much.
“Yes, she’s fine. I just got home a few minutes ago, and Pearl had been waiting outside for me. She informed me that you are working until six in the morning.”
“Yes, I had to work another shift,” she sighed into the phone. “I could not find anyone to come and pick her up on such short notice. When I told Pearl, she was hoping to stay with you tonight. I’m so sorry to burden you. Do you think that would be okay?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes, of course,” I responded. There was much more I wanted to say to her, but she was at work, so it would have to wait until a better time. “Could you do me a favor though? Please save my cell number, so you have it in the future. That way, you can call me if you ever need to.” I never wanted this to happen again. It was unfair to Pearl.
“Yes,” she responded before murmuring to someone in the background that she’d be right there. “Listen, I have to go. Thank you so much, Abbey.”
“No problem. Bye,” I responded before hanging up the phone.
I stared at my blank screen in front of me. I was shocked at how nice she had sounded during the call. During my last few encounters with her, she’d seemed anything but friendly toward me. I let the thought go, wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I hadn’t even realized that Jason was in the room until he took a seat next to me on the couch. I could feel the anger rolling off of him in dense waves. He sat forward and placed his elbows on his knees with his hands on either side of his temples. Releasing an exasperated sigh, he shifted his attention to me.
“Pearl showing up at your door this late…” He broke off, looking as though he was deliberating his words carefully. “Has it ever happened before?”
“No,” I replied, feeling the weight of the last several minutes crashing down on me.
“Abbey, I know how much you care for Pearl, and I feel the same way for her,” he said, his voice full of emotions. He sighed heavily. “But I think your judgment is clouded. This has gone too far.” He lifted his hand, pointing in the direction of where Pearl was sleeping. His sad expression reflected the way I felt inside. “That child is constantly left unattended. Even I can feel her loneliness. I just don’t think I can sit back and watch anymore without taking some sort of action.”
“I don’t know what to do or how to help,” I said in earnestness. “Diane said she was working late and couldn’t find someone to pick her up. Those are all the answers I have to go on,” I protested. With all my heart, for Pearl’s sake, I wished that Diane were worth defending.
“And next week, it will be another excuse!” Jason scoffed, jumping to his feet. He angled his gaze down at me. “You’re in over your head,” he said before storming into the bedroom.
I sat back on my couch and sank into the plush material, praying it would just swallow me whole.
Well…shit.
Yep, that about summed up the way I was feeling right now.
After having one of the most memorable days with Jason, it was all heading south rather quickly, and I didn’t have the slightest clue how to stop it or fix it. I knew he was pissed. Hell, I’m furious. I had been brewing for months while observing how Pearl spent an alarming amount of time on her own day after day.
On the contrary, I also understood that many families had two working parents nowadays, and it was common for kids to stay home by themselves. To me, the mere age of seven seemed way beyond extreme and unacceptable. Not being a parent though, I really had no idea what was considered an appropriate age.
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br /> Conflicting emotions coursed through me as the image of Pearl asleep and vulnerable in front of my condo entered my mind again. I remembered the tears in her eyes when she had explained the circumstances to me. Knowing she had been alone all day while I had been out having a good time with Jason unbearably seized my heart. When I had picked her up to carry her inside, the way she had clung to me and snuggled her head against my chest, as if never wanting me to leave her side, had touched me in an unexplainable deep, profound way. I wanted to help. At the same time, I was always so nervous to overstep my boundaries because I feared the possibility of upsetting Diane. She had the power to take Pearl away from me, and then she could be out of my life forever. I could not bear the notion, so I’d deemed it necessary to tread cautiously.
But when is enough, enough?
Shit.
This is all so confusing.
I stared at the pathway where Jason had gone only minutes ago, feeling horrible for dragging him into this situation. I felt defeated. Our relationship was so new, and I didn’t want to rock the boat, yet stepping aside from Pearl was not an option either.
I pushed myself up off the couch and took slow steps toward my room, acknowledging that I needed to make things right between Jason and me. As I rounded the corner, my eyes became stuck on the spare bedroom door where Pearl was fast asleep. That familiar ache in my chest returned, and it was so intense that it took my breath away. I silently prayed that I had it within my power to help her, and I sincerely hoped my judgment over doing what was best for Pearl was not clouded. I rotated back to face my bedroom and continued forward. The door was ajar. Jason was sitting on the edge of the bed, bending forward with his hands in his hair. His posture was rigid, and his shoulders were set.
Jason and I had spent nearly every day together since we’d met, getting to know each other. We had countless nights together between the sheets while snuggled in each other’s arms. I even loved our playful banter with one another. Then today, we had made the memorable step of deciding to move in together. This was supposed to be a happy time, yet I found myself wanting to cry. It was astounding how fast the mood could shift in a matter of minutes.