“That’s not what I meant.” She leaned into the table. “Kate, is age a problem for you?”
“Me? A problem? Pffft. No.” Kate grinned despite feeling herself sinking into a pit of quicksand of her own making.
“Good. Because I like your company.” She shot her an inviting look that nearly made Kate slide out of the booth. “Regardless of whether you could’ve got knocked up with me in your prom date’s backseat.”
Kate relaxed into a hearty laugh. “I like yours, too—company, that is.”
“I knew what you meant.” Jordan batted her long lashes. “Although I do like where this conversation appears to be headed.”
“If it gets there, I’m afraid it’ll be more from my lack of grace. I’m still more comfortable trying to sway a bored jury or crotchety judge than I am talking to a beautiful woman.”
“If I were a judge, the opposing side would never stand a chance against you.”
Kate grinned and glanced across the restaurant to mask her blush. Either this girl was a major player, or she knew exactly how to pursue what she wanted. The only trick was how to figure it out.
“So what’s Didi’s story anyway? Is she your ex?”
“Noooo,” Kate sang. “We’ve been friends since high school. She was a late bloomer, if you know what I mean. Now that she’s out and living the dream, she’s appointed herself my life coach and social director. She can’t fathom how someone can be single and happy, as if the two can’t possibly occur simultaneously.”
“No, they can. I’ve proven that.” Jordan leaned onto her forearms and gazed at Kate. “But sometimes our closest friends can see things in us that we can’t.”
Kate nibbled the lemon slice from her club soda as she pondered that thought.
“Although I frequently dismiss her as a head case, I suppose she has some insights about me after thirty years of friendship. She calls me jaded.”
“Are you?”
Kate poked her chopstick at the untouched blob of ginger in the wooden boat. “I don’t know. I guess it’s kind of hard not to be when one minute your life is all mapped out in front of you, and the next, you’re packing half of it away in storage.”
She cringed at Jordan’s sympathetic eyes. What was wrong with her? She’d just broken the cardinal rule of the first date: Never talk about your ex. Not unless you don’t want a second date. But was this an actual, official first date? Had Kate even wanted a second one?
“I think it’s hard for anyone to spring back from a serious breakup without feeling some type of way about relationships for a while,” Jordan said. “I’ve never been in a relationship with someone I considered ‘the one’ before, but it still sucked when it ended, so I can only imagine how it would feel after something long-term.”
Kate smiled. Who knew thirty-year-olds were so deep? “Anyway, I don’t think I’m too far gone to believe that life can still offer a pleasant surprise now and then, especially when you least expect it.”
Jordan gazed at Kate for a moment. “When you smile, you light up everything around you. I think because it starts in your eyes.”
“Thank you,” Kate said, feeling the blush set on her cheeks.
The waiter arrived to clear the table. “Can I get you anything else?”
Kate’s smile faded as his eyes seemed to dart curiously between them. “No, thanks. Just the check.”
He placed it on the table, and Kate grabbed it before Jordan could lift one of her folded hands. She offered her credit card, but Kate refused, at the same time realizing she’d been staring at Jordan’s cleavage. In all fairness, it was right there right in front of her in that tight black scoop-neck shirt. When Jordan smiled in apparent recognition, Kate dropped her eyes into the leather binder containing the check.
“At least let me pay half since I finagled you into asking me to lunch,” Jordan said as she fingered the pewter star attached to her necklace. Her eyes danced with Kate’s in a waltz of shy uncertainty and passionate possibility.
In spite of herself, Kate wanted to know more. “Don’t be silly.” She politely nudged Jordan’s card back toward her.
“Then next time’s on me.” There was that unnerving, penetrating gaze again. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Kate forced herself to break eye contact.
“Would you like to take a walk?” Jordan asked. “Unless you have somewhere to be…”
As she twirled the charm over her delicious décolletage, Kate began to entertain the notion she was doing it on purpose.
“I’d like that.”
On their way out, the chemistry between them unequivocally satisfied their nosy waiter’s curiosity.
* * *
A dry breeze sailed through the New Haven green, a welcome reprieve after the last few days of humidity that spawned a massive city-wide outbreak of frizzy hair. Jordan and Kate strolled along on their quest for the ideal, pigeon-poop-free bench near the fountain.
“Didi said you’re going to be playing at a winery. You must be excited about that.”
“Yeah. They’ve turned out to be great venues. I’d love for you to stop by if you can.” Jordan licked a dollop of mango gelato off her lip. How could Kate possibly say no after that?
“I know Didi wants to, so maybe I’ll join her. I’ll hang back so I don’t rile up your rabid admirers,” she added with a wink.
Jordan giggled. “Not to worry. They just show up for the wine.”
“Really?” Kate said, doubtful. “Do you ever read what they post about you on your page?” Damn, Kate. Why don’t you just admit you’ve been stalking her online since the day you met?
Jordan played along. “No. What do they post?”
“I’m too much of a lady to repeat any of it,” Kate said.
Jordan chuckled and almost spit out a spoonful of her gelato.
“Suffice it to say, you’ve got fans.”
“I bet you do, too. How does a gorgeous, successful, community activist like you not have a wife?”
Kate groaned softly. “Jaded, remember?”
“Oh,” Jordan said. “I thought that was a joke.”
When Jordan went quiet, Kate switched into damage-control mode. “It is…you know. That was in another life.”
“Then I’m glad I met you in this one.”
“I am, too. You probably wouldn’t recognize me in the other one.”
“That’s intriguing—unless I’ve inadvertently opened up old wounds you’re trying to forget. In that case, how ’bout those Red Sox?”
Kate chuckled. “The old wounds have healed, but isn’t this conversation too deep for this situation? I’m painfully out of practice in this arena.”
“What arena is that, Kate?” she asked slyly.
“You know…where we had a delicious lunch, and now we’re talking, having gelato.”
“It’s called a date. Boy, you are out of practice.”
Kate elbowed her playfully as she spooned in some gelato. “I remember what it’s called. I just thought we live in a world now where labeling people and things is passé.”
“Unless you come from a world other than Earth, I might have to disagree with you. But if you don’t care to call this a date, yeah, no problem. It’s whatever.”
You sound like a fool, Kate thought. “No big deal. I have nothing against the word.” She paused and sighed. “How about you start answering some of my questions now?”
“I’ve got nothing to hide. My life’s an open songbook.”
Kate grinned, loving their banter. “Is that so? Then how come I haven’t seen you around the Connecticut scene before? It’s so small you usually can’t hide from anyone if you tried.”
“I moved back here about five months ago from Cambridge. I went to BC to put some space between my parents and me, but then I got a job in Boston with a graphic-design company and met a girl. Or three. You know how that goes.”
Kate nodded. “Where’s the girl or three now?”
“Where I left them in Boston. New
stage in my life, fresh start.”
“Why did you need space from your parents, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Mostly rigid expectations. I was tired of hearing comparisons to my older sister. Elizabeth is a hedge fund manager in Greenwich with two kids, and a state senator and circuit-court judge for neighbors. My dad is annoyed that I’m a musician. A traveling minstrel for a daughter doesn’t quite meet the bar of Squire family success.”
“You own your own business. That’s a huge measure of success, if that’s how you’re defining it.”
“That’s how he defines it.” Jordan looked pensive as she glanced away.
Another great first-date topic, Kate. “Jordan, your songs are fantastic. So are your style and stage presence. You’re magnetic. I don’t know how any parent wouldn’t be supportive of a child with so much talent.”
“Unless you’re getting rich off it, it’s just a pipe dream.”
“Every great success story started with a dream. I’m certain everything’s going to fall into place for you.”
“It feels like it’s already starting to,” Jordan said with a shy smile.
“Excuse me for a second.” Kate wrapped a napkin around her finger and dabbed at a tiny smear of gelato near the corner of Jordan’s mouth.
In the closeness, their eyes collided. Jordan’s natural scent wafted over Kate in the breeze, trapping her in its lure. She stared at Jordan’s inviting mouth, absently licking her lips as she imagined their fruity taste. Wait. Was Jordan about to kiss her right there on the Green?
Kate backed away. “I’m sorry I interrupted you. Go on.”
“No, that’s uh…I was just…What was I saying?” Jordan seemed to be having difficulty shaking off her embarrassment. And it was adorable. “How long have I been sitting here with gelato all over my face like a three-year-old?” she asked.
“Just for a second.” Kate tried not to smile. “And it wasn’t all over your face. Just in the corner there.” She brushed her lips with the napkin again. “I’m sorry. I should’ve kept my hands to myself.”
“No, no, that’s okay. Feel free to put them wherever you want.”
Kate nearly swallowed her plastic spoon on that one.
“Uh, I mean, that’s not what I meant,” Jordan said. “Not in a pervey way.”
“Yeah, I got it.” Kate managed to keep a straight face. “You were saying before I rudely interrupted?”
“Uh, you know what? I don’t remember. Wait. I think you said something about how things will fall into place.”
Kate nodded, still amused as Jordan clearly scrambled to gather her wits. “I’ve found that they usually do. It’s cut down on my stress levels telling myself that anyway.”
Jordan smiled. “I like talking with you. You’re a great listener.”
“Thanks. It’s sort of essential to what I do for a living.”
“I thought you’re a lawyer.”
“We do more than talk, you know,” Kate said. “Listening is half the battle in negotiations.”
“Do your girlfriends ever stand a chance in an argument?”
“No.” Kate grinned.
“Welp, nice meeting you.” Jordan rose from the bench and pretended to run away.
Kate giggled and grabbed her shirt. “All right. You can sit down now.”
She jerked her down onto the bench. Jordan lost her balance and landed in Kate’s lap. Their eyes settled on each other before she slid back to a proper distance.
Kate’s mind grew cluttered with intimate curiosities. What would Jordan’s lips feel like on her neck? Were they as silky as they looked? And her skin. How would it feel against hers in a set of cool bedsheets?
“Fate’s a funny thing,” Jordan said. “I’ve been back for five months, but it took my first performance in New York City for me to meet the most amazing woman in Connecticut.”
Kate smiled at the flattery and the novelty of her youthful optimism. “Are you one of those people who think everything is part of a bigger picture, like there’s some master plan?”
Jordan was silent for a moment. “I’ve never framed it that way before, but yeah, I suppose I am. I find the notion kind of romantic.”
“I find it kind of depressing. It negates our sense of control, like we’re all pawns in some higher power’s game.”
“It feels that way sometimes,” Jordan said. “But when it works in our favor, it’s positively magical.”
Kate smiled but couldn’t help remembering how helpless she’d felt when Lydia announced she was moving out. One person’s decision had completely changed the course of her life, and she’d felt powerless to redirect it on her own. Ironically, though, she loved the person she’d grown into after the breakup had torn her down.
“You have wicked eyes,” Jordan blurted. “I’ve never seen that shade of blue before.”
“Wicked is good, right?”
“Very good.” Jordan flaunted an enticing smile.
“Should we take a walk?” Kate rose from the bench to save her lips from doing something reckless. She stomped out the tingles in her partially asleep leg as she offered Jordan her hand.
“We can head over to my apartment if you want,” Jordan said as they walked across the Green. “It’s down on Olive Street.”
Her apartment? What? Why was she inviting her to her apartment? It was still daylight. Maybe an innocent drink to keep their conversation going? But what if she was secretly planning to seduce her? No. Nobody did that in real life, only in low-budget lesbian movies.
“Sure. I’ll walk you home,” Kate said. “Chivalry is not dead.”
“I don’t need an escort, Kate,” Jordan said with a giggle. “I’m a big girl. Besides, it’s only four o’clock in the afternoon. Too early for gangs of rogue hipsters terrorizing the neighborhood in their man buns and bowties.”
Kate’s nerves slowed her roll. “Then why are we going to your place?”
Smooth, Kate. Real smooth.
Jordan seemed to study the sky for a minute. “I guess I don’t want our date to end.” She sighed and gazed deeply into Kate’s eyes. “And I feel like once we say good-bye I’ll never see you again.”
“That’s uh, that won’t happen. The lesbian scene is a microcosm. We’ll definitely see each other around.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Kate exhaled. “Right. I had a feeling it wasn’t.”
* * *
The dimly lit hallway leading to Jordan’s apartment door was an alternate universe compared with the late-afternoon sun peering between office and apartment buildings outside. Kate wondered how her legs had managed to transport her up to Jordan’s place without first running the decision past her brain, which surely would’ve stopped them on the sidewalk. Alternate universe indeed.
“This is me,” Jordan announced as they approached the last apartment at the end of the hall. She tilted her head against the door, her face glistening under a thin film of sweat. “I can’t believe how this afternoon flew by.”
Kate nodded with a curious grin. Where had the afternoon gone? She’d spent a jittery morning wearing a path in her carpet, quietly cursing Didi for manipulating her into doing something so out of character. She’d even contemplated calling Jordan and canceling, but with the promise of finally getting Didi off her back, the risk seemed well worth the reward.
“I have a confession,” Kate said as Jordan’s rich, martini-olive eyes made explicit suggestions to other parts of her body. “Didi more or less bribed me into having lunch with you. I didn’t think we’d have a single thing to talk about.”
“I see my first impression really bowled you over.”
“It wasn’t you. Trust me. I was referring to the twenty-year gap in our ages,” she noted, wincing.
“Not twenty. Seventeen.”
“Phew! That’s a relief. I thought it was something huge.” Kate rolled her eyes.
Jordan groaned. “Kate, all that matters is if you had a nice time today. Did y
ou?”
Kate nodded and smiled. “I’d never want any of my colleagues to hear this, but I’m glad I’m so easily bribed.”
“I am, too.” Jordan slowly moved toward her.
Their lips touched, the soft sensuality instantly reviving Kate’s long-dormant sexuality. Each kiss resonated throughout her entire body, the once-distant memory of raw desire stealing its way back into her consciousness.
Jordan pressed her body against Kate’s, holding her face as her kisses grew more familiar, more urgent. But her hunger for Jordan overwhelmed her. She brushed her hands from her face, panic demanding immediate action. Flushed and breathless, she needed to get out of there—fast.
“I have to go,” Kate blurted and dashed off down the hall, allowing no time for good-byes. One more word, one more touch would’ve sent her spinning out on a ride she couldn’t jump off.
On the street below, the hot sun and fresh air swathed her in a feeling of safety. With Jordan out of sight, she reclaimed some of the emotional control that had deserted her moments earlier. Her heart pounding, she steadied herself against the building’s brick façade until she felt grounded.
A sudden avalanche of doubt proved as effective as a cold shower. Had her hasty exit made Jordan feel rejected? Had she just made a complete ass out of herself? What else was she supposed to do? Too many questions, too many emotions. It was time to go home.
* * *
The television in Kate’s living room blared. She was oblivious to what program she had on as she lowered the volume on the remote with her left hand and clutched the cordless telephone in her right. She retreated to the sanctuary of her plush sofa, her worn New York Yankees batting T-shirt, and some cotton sweatpants she wouldn’t be caught dead answering the door in. Her recent experience definitely called for comfortable loungewear as she distracted her racing mind with every portable electronic device she could surround herself with.
An iPad balanced perilously against her thighs as she reviewed the upcoming week’s appointments. She picked up her cordless phone and called Didi’s cell again. She still wasn’t answering, and she hadn’t returned the message Kate had left her more than an hour ago despite its rather imperative tone.
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