by Edie Bryant
Two Lovers
Edie Bryant
Contents
Copyright
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
FREE Broken Record Excerpt
15. Lindsay
16. Heather
17. Lindsay
18. Heather
FREE BONUS CHAPTER!
Copyright
Copyright © 2017 by Edie Bryant
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This book is a reimagined version of a previously published MM romance novel. I really enjoyed revitalizing this story with lesbian themes and new lovers. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed rewriting it.
1
Lauren
“Hey, Lauren, could you stay late tonight?”
I looked up to see my boss staring at me, awaiting my answer.
That was actually the last thing I wanted to do tonight. I was already half-packed to leave for the day. But I couldn’t very well say no.
My job was basically a cakewalk. I got to go home early every day, I didn’t have to work extensive hours, there wasn’t a lot to it. So, on the one day I was asked to do a little extra work, felt I should probably do it.
Not to mention I’m on my way out. I have only another month in this department until I’m promoted to one of the upper floors. The new job paid almost double as it wasn’t considered an entry-level job anymore, and the last thing I wanted to do was interfere with that promotion by being lazy.
“Sure, what do you need done?” I asked.
“I actually need you to go over our employee manual again,” he said.
My heart began to race a little. I thought for sure what he was trying to get at was that I had not following employee rules as I should have been. Like this was some segue into punishment. And, again, the last thing I needed was to get in trouble at my current job.
“The employee manual?” I asked, as he handed it to me.
“Yes, your replacement is coming in tomorrow, and I was hoping that you could start training her right away. There is a specific section on your department and another section on training. But, I’d like you to read over the whole thing so you can explain our general rules to the recruit, as well.”
Relief washed over me. I hadn’t been told I was going to be training someone new so early. If I had, I wouldn’t have felt so panicked when he mentioned the manual.
“Oh, absolutely! Yeah, I’ll go ahead and do that now, thanks.” I nodded.
“Awesome, thanks so much. We’ll be sad to see you go.” He smiled.
“Well, I’m not really leaving,” I told him. “I’m sure we’ll still run into each other.”
“Yes, I’m sure we will! But, I still won’t have you in my department, and you’ve been a model employee.”
I mean, I really hadn’t. I spent half the day on my computer, playing games and surfing the internet. But on a day-to-day basis, I didn’t have much to do.
I worked in tech support, so, basically, everyone was happy as long as our servers didn’t crash and there were no security risks. When someone had issues with their computer, I was around. But that didn’t happen too commonly, and, even when it did, it was pretty easily fixable.
I was going to be a lot busier in my next job, though. I would be doing programming work in our marketing department, and, in addition to being a lot better pay, it was a lot more intensive.
I was actually excited about it, though. I was tired of being bored all day, every day. It’d be nice to finally have the opportunity to use my brain at work.
My boss began to walk away when suddenly he turned around and said one more thing. “Actually, it’s really unnecessary for you to stay late to do that. Go ahead and go home, just bring the manual with you and make sure you finish it.”
Oh, thank god. “Absolutely, thank you!” I smiled, as I finished packing up my things.
But, once I was walking out of the building, I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to go home at all.
It was a Thursday, and every Thursday my boyfriend would come over and stay the night.
Correction, he wasn’t my boyfriend, he was my fiancée as of one month ago.
I know it sounds horrible that I’m actually dreading seeing my own fiancée. But, I can’t help it. Ever since we got engaged, things have been weird for me.
Okay, admittedly, things had been weird for a long time. But I’d continued to blow them off, pushing our issues further and further back into my mind until I really couldn’t think of them any longer.
The problem was, we didn’t really have that many definable issues. On paper, he was the perfect boyfriend. We got along well, we didn’t fight, we’d been together about two years now, and… everything was pretty much fine.
And that was my problem. Things with Brandon were just fine. Everything was just okay. And our relationship felt horribly plain to me right now.
But there are worse things a relationship can be than plain. And that’s what I kept telling myself. I believed I still did the right thing by accepting the proposal. He was a good guy, and he loved me. And I loved him… yeah, I loved him.
Tonight, I just didn’t really want to see him, though. Obviously, I’d felt like our relationship had been lacking for a really long time. But when we had just been dating, it had been easier to ignore. Easier to tell myself that eventually it would get better and we’d be fine.
Ever since he proposed, though, I hadn’t been as sure of myself. I don’t know, it just wasn’t how I’d imagined I’d feel when someone finally proposed to me. I had thought things would feel magical and amazing, and I’d be wonderfully, passionately in love.
But I just wasn't. And why would I be? I hadn’t been passionately in love in a long, long time. It was stupid to believe that as soon as I was engaged I would get those feelings back.
I had believed that. At least, I’d hoped it with every fiber of my being. And now that it hadn't happened, everything just felt… so bleak.
I wasn’t excited to get married at all. And, luckily, I wasn’t going to have to do it for another year or so. It felt like when we did marry, though, my life would basically be over.
I know, logically, that wasn’t true. A life with Brandon would still be a good life. We had a solid relationship, we’d make good parents someday. Things would be good, everything would be fine. Maybe not as passionate as I’d always imagined, but it’d still be just… good.
Not only did I take the long way home when I drove back, I circled the block two times when I arrived.
I could see Brandon was already at my place, his car in the driveway. He had his own key, so, of course, he always let himself in on Thursdays. He got off work about an hour before I did.
I just couldn’t bring myself to park and go inside. I even considered going out and grabbing a pizza, any excuse to be gone longer. But I was scared that Brandon had already noticed me drive by, and I didn't want him asking any questions. I think he already had been pretty suspicious of me lately.
I guess it was a good thing I didn’t grab pizza, because when I walked in, my kitchen table was lit wit
h candles, and there was a beautiful chicken dinner with mashed potatoes sitting there.
“Oh, you’re just in time!” Brandon cooed as I stepped inside. “I was about to put the plates in the microwave to stay hot.”
I gave a soft smile. “What’s all this for?”
“Oh, you know, just trying to make your day.” He grinned. “Come, sit, eat!”
This was something I’d been noticing lately, too. It was like, the more I pulled away, the more he pushed back. He’d been over-the-top sweet lately, and, while normally I’d be appreciative of that, lately it only made me feel guiltier.
I sat down at the table and wordlessly started eating my dinner. I was a bit of a stress-eater, so this giant plate of food was actually nice at the moment. It kept me from my guilt.
“So, how was your day?” Brandon asked.
“Good,” I told him, “yours?”
“Good, too.” He nodded awkwardly. “Oh! I heard that Jake and Taylor are getting married!”
“Oh, how great.” I nodded.
“Yeah, I know that Jake is going to ask me to be one of his groomsmen. Which, if he does, I of course have to ask him to be one of mine. I mean, I was planning on that anyway…”
Jake was one of his co-workers, the one to whom he was closest. He came by the house sometimes, but I hadn’t made an effort to get to know him particularly well.
“That’s nice,” I told him.
“Yeah… yeah, it’ll be nice.”
We were quiet for awhile, both engrossed in our food and not paying much attention to one another. After about five minutes, though, Brandon started talking again. “So, have you put any more thought into the wedding?”
“Thought into the wedding?” I asked. “Like… what do you mean?”
“Like, you know, any thoughts on wedding planning? Where’d you want to have it? Are we going to have a band or a DJ? How about flowers? Who are we going to get to cater it? I mean, there are all these questions we need to start answering.”
Just talking about all this planning was making me sick to my stomach. Not because I didn’t have the money to do the entire wedding. Of course I did, I was going to be loaded after this promotion. I didn’t mind spending the money.
But the actual planning sounded so miserable. I could barely think about marrying Brandon, but I was going to have to do all this extensive planning? It would be hours and hours of focusing on the wedding. I was nauseated just thinking about it.
“You know, I really don’t know. We can pretty much plan whatever you want, it’s fine with me.”
He frowned. “So, what, just plan an entire wedding by myself? No input from you?”
“Yeah, I’m fine with whatever you decide.”
He threw his fork down. “What is your problem?!” he snapped.
This caught me off guard. Brandon didn’t really yell like this.
“Wh-what do you mean?” I stuttered in surprise.
“I mean, what’s your problem? You want to marry me, don’t you?!”
I was mortified that he’d even ask. I mean, I know I’d been distant, and I know he’d noticed, but I didn’t think he’d jump straight to me not wanting to marry him.
“What?! Of course I do. Why do you ask?” I played stupid.
It wasn’t exactly a lie. I may have had my doubts, but I did want to marry him. That was always my intention.
“Because this is supposed to be the best part of our entire relationship! I just proposed to you. We’re supposed to be in love and excited, and… instead, you’re a million miles away. It’s like you’re not even excited about this. And that sounds crazy, because, like, I’m the one who proposed to you thinking that you felt the same way. I’ve never been the kind of person who does everything he can to get his girlfriend to commit to him. I thought that you wanted this, but… I don’t get it. If you wanted this, why are you so distant from me?”
“I do want this. Of course I want this.”
“Then why have you been so weird, Lauren?”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to think of a convincing lie. “I guess I’m just tired from work and stuff. You know, they’re really pushing me harder after this promotion, and it’s stressful.”
That was such a bullshit lie. I did think my job was going to become more stressful, but, for the time being, it was a cake-walk. The only thing they’d asked of me so far was that I read that stupid employee manual.
Brandon sighed. “Yeah, I can understand that. I know your workload is going to get a lot bigger. I’m sorry for freaking out. It’s just been weird for me.”
God, he was so damn understanding. I was constantly giving him the cold shoulder, and he still found a way to be sympathetic to me. I didn’t deserve him.
And that was the reason I was sure I wanted to marry him. He was just such a damn good boyfriend. He’d make a good husband, a good father, even without any passion in our relationship.
“I’m really sorry, babe, I’ll make more of an effort to be present,” I told him. “I promise.”
He nodded. “I appreciate that, thanks.”
At the time, I really meant my promise, too. I wanted to be better for him, I wanted to be the kind of girlfriend he deserved, but… god, I don’t know. It was like every time I tried to be close and sweet with him, I failed miserably.
We finished dinner and went to watch a movie on the couch. At first, I made an effort to put my arm around him. I knew how he felt about cuddling, and I wanted him to be happy.
But I could only stand it for about ten minutes. I don’t know, I just wasn’t that cuddly of a person, I guess. I slowly started moving away from him, and I know he noticed, but he was kind enough to not accuse me of being distant anymore.
The movie was boring, but I found myself wishing that it would go on forever. Because I knew what happened as soon as the movie was over.
After the movie, we were going to go to bed. He was going to sleep over like he did every Thursday, and I was going to have to lie myself down next to him.
Ugh, that sounds like no big deal. It shouldn’t be. It should be desirable, even. I should want to spend this time with him, but I just… didn’t.
When the movie finished up and the credits started to roll, he stretched out his arms and yawned and then mumbled, “Ready for bed?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said begrudgingly.
“Awesome.” He took my hand and started to lead me into the bedroom, but then, out of nowhere, it hit me.
I had the perfect excuse.
“Oh, shoot, babe, I can’t go to sleep yet.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“My boss asked me to go over the employee manual tonight. I have to train the new girl tomorrow, and I have to read it. I completely forgot, I’ll have to stay up late doing that.”
“Oh… okay.” He was obviously disappointed, but he didn’t say anything more than that. I knew it bothered him, but he wasn’t going to say so, especially after I had just said it was my work keeping me distant from him.
He gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Good night, then.”
“Night.” I nodded to him as I walked back into the kitchen to read the manual at the table.
God, you know you’re in a shitty place when you're actually thrilled to be reading the employee manual from work rather than sleeping at night with your fiancé.
I swear, my worries got more intense every fucking time I spent time with Brandon. And every time I was away from him for a little bit, I convinced myself it was just in my head, no big deal, nothing to worry about, this is normal.
And I did believe it was normal. I didn’t think relationships were all excitement and passion. I’d never had reason to think that. None of my relationships in the past had been like that… except maybe one…
Okay, but that relationship was so different. I was so young, I was barely in college, and she was my first love. Of course things were going to be passionate with my first love. I was all young
and idealistic…
Still, I’d never had a love like her since. We met during my first year of college, we were both in tech majors and had a lot of classes together.
I had never planned to date her. Although, at the end of high school I had become very accepting of my sexuality. I’m bisexual. I had never really planned to date women. I know that sounds weird, but I’d always found myself more romantically attracted to men than women. Though, I think men are equally sexually attractive as women.
Again, it’s odd, and who knows? Maybe I’d just convinced myself I leaned more toward men because that was the easier route. It wasn’t easy to be bi in society today. You get judgment still, obviously. In a way, nobody will judge you if you’re with a man.
Still, Sara had been different. I hadn’t even cared who’d judged me for being with her. I’d fallen head-over-heels for her. She was smart, funny, gorgeous, sexy… the positive adjectives were endless. She’d meant the world to me.
We’d only been together for one year, though, and obviously everything had crashed and burned. Maybe that’s what you could expect when a love was passionate, right? When there was so much emotion in a given relationship, it wasn’t surprising that when it all went to shit it did real dramatically.
We’d become really close after that year together. I’d considered her one of my best friends. But we never spoke again after it ended. We’d even continued to have some classes together the rest of the semester and had successfully ignored each other. Though after that semester, she’d switched schools. I think she’d ended up moving back to the East Coast to be close to her family.
I’d been thinking about her more and more lately, and it wasn’t hard to see why. While I was in a relationship completely devoid of passion, it made sense that I might start to reflect on the person that I had been more passionate about than anyone else.
Like I said, though, I had been young then. It had been my first real relationship, and it had been a different time. Plus I’m sure if we had stayed together for more than a year, things would have gotten boring and comfortable with her, too.