by Edie Bryant
But I really hadn’t felt for them what I felt for Sara. My feelings for them paled in comparison to my feelings for her.
Still, that was hardly an excuse for jealousy. And I knew how fast jealousy could destroy a relationship. I wasn’t going to let that happen twice, not with Sara. I wasn’t going to let her go, not at any cost.
Despite my desire to walk over there and interrupt their conversation, I decided instead to turn back around, head to my office, and just wait for Sara to return. It was going to be frustrating for me, but I’d do it. I’d sit another half an hour there if it meant I didn’t exhibit any controlling behaviors. And I wouldn’t even hint at any jealousy to Sara.
Thankfully, I didn’t even make it back to my office before I felt Sara’s hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, what’s up?” she asked, walking back to my office with me.
“Oh, nothing! I was a little worried about you taking so long, I thought you might be getting sick, but when I saw you were just chatting, I was going to go back to the office to wait for you.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.” She gave my shoulder a quick squeeze, which was the most PDA we could show in the office. “And it’s funny you say that, because I actually wasn’t feeling all that great. I thought I was actually going to throw up, but I’m pretty sure it’s passed now. Probably just something I ate.”
I hated to say I was relieved she felt sick, because I wasn’t, not exactly. But it was nice to know she’d been in the bathroom for a considerable amount of time rather than talking the entire time.
“So, you ready to clock out?” I asked. “Still want pizza, or will that upset your stomach?”
“I think I’m good with pizza. Let’s do it.”
We collected our things, clocked out, and then made our way to my car. We had started carpooling to work together, since that was the only thing that made sense. I mean, if we were going to come to work together and go home together, why not?
I forgot about my jealousy pretty quickly on the car ride home. With Sara, there was never a quiet moment. I was constantly being pulled into whatever she was talking about, so I was too distracted with our conversation to think about feeling jealous. Which I was grateful for.
After we got our pizza, I thought we were in for a good night, for sure. Good food, good movies, good sex, good conversation… but it didn’t take long for all those assumptions to be flipped right on their ass.
We did get to enjoy about an hour of the night. I ate some pizza, while Sara passed saying she didn’t have an appetite yet. We watched most of a movie, and then Sara started looking pale again.
“Are you okay?” I asked, when I noticed her leg was trembling slightly.
“Yeah,” she nodded, trying to force a smile. But it quickly fell from her face as she stood up. “Actually, no, please excuse me,” she said as she sprinted to the bathroom.
I guess it hadn’t been just something she ate. It may have passed in the office, but whatever was bothering her decided to make its way back into her life at my house.
Instinctively, I got up to go grab some water and then rushed into the bathroom.
She was just finishing puking when I came in, and I put my hand on the small of her back and handed her the water.
“Here, rinse your mouth out. But don’t swallow it.”
She did as I said at first, rinsing her mouth out in the bathroom sink, but then she turned to me.
“Why can’t I swallow it?”
“Because you’ll just throw it back up. Trust me, you need to wait a little while before putting something back into your stomach. You’ll reject it.”
She nodded, then continued to rinse her mouth out one more time.
“I’m so sorry,” she said afterwards. “This is so embarrassing…”
“Don’t be embarrassed!” I said quickly. “Everyone gets sick. You have nothing to worry about.”
She nodded. “Okay, well, I think I’m feeling better for the time being. I could probably make it home before I get sick again if I call an Uber now—”
“Oh, you’re going home?” I asked, not even bothering to conceal my disappointment.
“Well, yeah, don’t you want me to?”
“No, of course not!”
She looked at me, eyebrows raised. “But I just puked. I’m sick, so… I’m not going to be any fun to hang out with.”
I continued to rub her back. “You think I don’t know that? I don’t need you to be fun to hang out with! But I sure as hell am not sending you on your way when you’re sick like this. You think I’m going to let you puke in an Uber?”
“So you want me to stay here like… all night?”
“Right,” I confirmed.
“Even if I, like, keep getting sick?”
“Yes, babe. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of you.”
She still seemed so hesitant. “And you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want to do?”
“Of course! What else are girlfriends for?”
A smile began to creep across her lips.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s just… we haven’t officially use the word girlfriend yet.”
I hadn’t even realized that it slipped out of my mouth.
“Oh, right, uh, I guess that’s something we should talk about…?” I asked.
She shook her head with another smile. “Nope, nothing to discuss. Girlfriend it is.”
I could feel butterflies rising up in my stomach at the thought of us being in an official relationship. This might not have been the most romantic situation to declare it in, with Sara very recently having puked into my toilet, but it was thrilling all the same.
Sara’s smile quickly faded. “Well, then, girlfriend, I think you’re going to need to get me to the couch, like, ASAP.”
So I did. And the rest of the night was much of the same. Sara would lie down in misery between running up to puke every couple hours.
I turned on an old kids’ movie that I knew she liked because, for me, watching kids’ movies was oddly comforting when you’re sick. I think it gave her some comfort, too. Or maybe that was just me lying down next to her, gently rubbing her shoulders and her back.
I was also getting her tea and sips of water so she wouldn’t get too dehydrated. And, even when she went to throw up, I stayed nearby and rubbed her back.
We were in the middle of our second kids’ movie when Sara turned to me.
“Thank you so much for this. I know I’m kind of a baby when I’m sick, but having you here really makes it so much better. You are being so sweet, and you’re totally not required to be after we’ve only been together again for a few weeks… so, just know, I’m really grateful.”
I kissed her forehead. “Of course. I know it may only have been a few weeks, but I hope you realize I’m already very serious about you. That’s not going to change anytime soon. I’m here for you, through everything.”
She nodded. “Thank you… I mean that.”
I smiled. “So, hey, obviously, you’re going to be calling out of work tomorrow. How about I call out, too? I don’t want you to be sick and alone.”
“Really? You don’t think they’ll care that we’re both gone?”
“Nah. I mean, nobody really knows we’re dating yet, right? By the way, we really will need to sign something with HR soon. But, in the meantime, why not? I haven’t called out in a long time, and people noticed you were starting to fall ill today, so I doubt anyone won’t believe you.”
“Yeah… I guess that’s true. And the only reason you’re even at work right now is to finish training me, so, if I’m not there, it’s pointless for you, anyway.”
“Right, exactly. So, okay, we both call out tomorrow?”
She grinned. “Deal.”
10
Sara
I rarely ever get sick, so the fact that I was now horribly ill within the first few weeks of Lauren and I being together was more than a little frustrating. We had enough negatives
in our lives right now without adding in illness.
But you can’t control it when something like this happens, I guess. And I couldn’t deny, it was actually a little nice to be treated so kindly when not feeling well.
Like, don’t get me wrong, being sick like this still fucking blew. But it was so much nicer with her by my side.
You’d think she would’ve been afraid of getting sick or me making a mess in her home, but if that was a concern of hers, she hid it well. She didn’t say anything to me about it.
All she did was rub my back, bring me soups, make sure I drank water, and watch movie after movie with me.
You’d think that’d make for a pretty boring day, but there was something nice about it. We got to spend the whole day doing nothing but lying together. Which, I know we could do on pretty much any weekend day, but we never did. We filled our days with other activities. We never just relaxed like this.
And it was especially nice knowing normally we’d have been working at this time, and instead we were just cuddling each other and getting paid for it.
In the middle of one of our movies, these two characters that were beginning a new budding relationship had snuck out back of the girl’s family farm and started making out in this large wheat field.
It brought back this really distinct memory for me.
“Hey, do you remember being at a wheat field like that?” I asked, positive that the memory would have gotten lost all these years later.
“Are you kidding?! Of course I do! I remember that day like it was yesterday.”
“Yeah?” I asked, being still a little fuzzy on the memory. “What do you remember?”
“Well, I remember that you wanted to go to the movies, but I was too broke. And being the amazing person that you are, you used that as an opportunity to ditch your friends at the movies and instead take a long walk with me.”
“Right! I’d totally forgotten about that. Wow, how do you even remember that?” I laughed. She wasn’t lying about remembering it like it was yesterday.
“That was a very important day for me,” she answered. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”
“Yeah? What was so important?” I asked, obviously not expecting her answer.
“It was the day I realized I was in love with you,” she said bluntly.
I jerked up on the couch. “Seriously?”
“Oh, yeah, absolutely.”
“But… why? Why that day? I actually thought you were kind of pissed at me that day. After I invited you to go to the movies, I mean. You seemed really irritated.”
“Oh, I was. Because I was an insecure brat back then, and I didn’t like being reminded that I was too broke to do basic stuff. But after you came over anyway, I wasn’t pissed at all. I remember thinking how stupid I’d been to be getting pissed at you. I thought… damn, this is a nice girl. This is a girl who’d give up something fun with her friends to take a walk with me. This is a girl who really cares about me, and she’s an angel for it. And I need to treat her well, I need to never lose her.”
My heart melted. For a moment there, I even forgot I was sick. It was like all the illness just left my body for a moment, and I felt nothing but happy.
“Wow…” I murmured.
“Yeah… but what good did those promises do me, huh? I still ended up being awful to you.”
“No…” I tried to say reassuringly, but it only ended up coming off as fake.
“You don’t need to lie. I know what I did, I know how bad I was. And I’m really sorry. I regret it, I regret it all. Losing you was the worst thing I ever did.”
I grabbed her hand softly. “But you have me now, and you’ll have me forever.”
“If I don’t fuck up again.” She gave a half smile.
“You won’t,” I insisted, reaching up and running my fingers through her hair. “I know you won’t.”
She sighed. “I hope so. I really think I’m a different person, but… yeah, I just don’t want to do anything to lose you. I can’t help but think, what would it have been like if I’d never lost you in the first place?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “We still found each other again.”
“Yeah, but how much time did we waste? How many years passed by that we could have been spending together instead of spending apart?”
I honestly hadn’t thought of that. It hadn’t even occurred to me, I was just too happy to be dating Lauren again in the first place. Then again, I was in the unique position of not being able to blame myself for everything that had happened between us. Lauren was not exactly in the same position. I was sure she’d been beating herself up over this for a long time.
Which I hated. I didn’t want her to berate herself for the person she once was when she was obviously so different now. And so goddamn selfless that she was just taking care of me all day while I got sick and gross on her couch.
“You have nothing to regret,” I told her. “I think this is exactly how it was supposed to be.”
“How do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean, I think we were supposed to meet at this exact time. At this exact point in our lives. I think fate led us back together at exactly the right time, and not a day sooner. Us breaking up was fate, too, because it meant we could find each other once again in the present.”
She smiled softly. “You really think so?”
“Well, that's what I’m choosing to believe. Even if it’s maybe not true.” I laughed. “But it sounds plausible, if fate really is a thing.”
She grinned and then kissed me. “You know, I’m really starting to think it is.”
I kissed her back. “Yeah, me too.”
11
Lauren
It’d been a few months since I’d stopped training Sara and moved departments. And, though I missed her quite a bit during the day, I’d become adjusted to our new schedule.
We still saw each other every single night. We still rode to and from work in one car, though we switched cars and changed places where we stayed. Sometimes my house, sometimes her house, but the point was, we were still spending every second together months later.
I guess it was nice that now, at the end of the day, we actually had something to tell each other when asked ‘how did your day go?’ I think I’d still rather be actually experiencing the day with her, though, if I had the choice.
I couldn’t get too greedy, though. Obviously all I could do was spend the time with her that I had and enjoy it. Which I was, greatly.
And I think I was even start to get past my broken engagement. I still felt bad for breaking Brandon’s heart, but I’d learned that I couldn’t blame myself forever. I didn’t do anything to purposefully hurt him, and I never would have. I still cared about him. I was sure he didn’t exactly care about me now, but I truly did.
I still hadn’t spoken to him, and all of our old friends had basically retreated from me. But I think that was a good thing. That meant that Brandon had more friends and more social support on his side, which he absolutely needed.
I didn’t need it though, I had Sara. She was everything I could ever want and was more than enough for me. After a few months of spending all our time together, I knew she was absolutely the one for me. I was going to marry this girl, I just fucking knew it.
I was actually considering asking her to move in. I knew it was crazy soon, but it was basically what we were already doing anyway. Why pay for two separate places while we were both only ever in one of our homes?
And, because Sara used to work at a small company and never made a ton of money, she was living in a studio apartment right now. It was a decent studio apartment, but it was still just a studio, when she could be living in my house with me. We actually barely spent any time at her place for this reason. It was cute, but just too damn small!
I wasn’t sure when to bring this up, though. I definitely didn’t want to scare her off. Not that I really thought she was going to be easily scared off. I think it was obvious th
at she was as into me as I was into her. Still, I wanted to make sure the time was right.
I turned on my computer as I began to start the workday. As expected, I actually had more responsibility in this department. There was still some time in my day to goof around on the computer, but, for the most part, I had actual projects to work on.
I was opening up my work email, expecting to hear back from a superior on my most recent project, when something caught my eye. It was an email that, at first, I thought was spam, because the title was in all caps. But once I actually read what it said, it gave me pause.
“THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT?!”
It probably was still spam, but it was an odd title nonetheless. I got a lot of fucking spam, and I hadn’t gotten something like this.
I opened it and immediately began reading the email. It had a few picture attachments, but I didn’t dare open them in case they were viruses, of course.
“Hey, I hope I’m reaching the right Lauren,
I got this message from someone who I think is your girlfriend. Her profile had her relationship status hidden when I looked at it, but when I looked from a friend’s profile after I blocked her, I saw that it says she’s in a relationship, and I knew I had to get a hold of you.
I’ve been cheated on in the past, and I know how painful that shit can be. So, from one girl to another, I’m sorry, but I think your woman is a cheating whore.
I never even started the conversation. She found me and added me. She claimed she saw me at Club Presto, though I don’t remember that. And she wasted no time trying to proposition me for sex. I know it sucks to hear, but I think you needed to know the truth.
Seriously, I’m sorry. I’ve attached screenshots as proof. I’m sorry for the parts where I flirt back with her, but I really thought she was single. I don’t need to tell you that Sara is cute. But if I’d known she was in a relationship, I swear I would have shut this shit down.
I’m sorry if this is a lot to take in. Email me back if you want more proof, but we never met up or anything. I blocked her after she got too pushy.