by Edie Bryant
“My grandma?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Really?”
“Yeah! I love talking to Mary. She’s so sweet and she genuinely seems to care about me. She may be one of my closest friends.”
“Seriously? Wow… I mean, I know you visited her in the hospital and that she liked you… but I assumed you were only coming to be nice. I figured, you know, she was another customer for you.”
“Not at all!” she said emphatically. “I absolutely love her. After she ended up passing out, I was so stressed. I know she’s not my grandma, and obviously, I’m not nearly as close to her as you are. But honestly, I couldn’t imagine her disappearing from my world.” She paused. “You really remind me of her, you know.”
“Really? How so?”
“Just, you know, with how open you are. Talking to you is a lot like talking to her. It just… feels good.”
I had the sudden urge to kiss her.
But I couldn’t. Not just because she was straight and had no interest in me but because I’d be crossing a line.
I could definitely feel chemistry between us, though. I didn’t know if I was just imagining it or what… I didn’t think so, though. There was just something in the way she was looking at me. I knew she was straight, but it really seemed like she felt something too.
But what if I was wrong? I couldn’t kiss her now. She might kiss me back just for the record deal! I couldn’t allow myself to take advantage of her. I didn’t want that.
Any connection between us, I wanted it to be real and genuine. And in the situation we were currently in, there was no way to be sure that it would be genuine.
“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry,” I said as I looked at my watch. “I have to go!”
“Oh.” She looked disappointed. “You have another meeting?”
“Yeah… Yeah, I do. In just a few minutes,” I lied.
“No problem,” she said, though it did look to be a problem.
“I’ll have our lawyers set up a meeting with you and then you’ll be assigned to a producer that will immediately start working with you on your first album.”
“So… You won’t be working with me, then?” She asked.
“No, afraid not, I don’t usually handle that kind of thing. I mostly take care of big picture things.”
“Right, that makes sense.” Again, she couldn’t hide her disappointment very well.
Was I right? Was she really interested in me? Or was I imagining all of this?
I wasn’t lying when I said I handled the big picture stuff around here, but I was able to sit in on recordings and often did for some of our bigger stars. I had been a producer myself for many years before working my way up the chain, and my opinion was often asked for.
So I very easily could be present for Lindsay’s recordings. Obviously she wanted me to be.
But I couldn’t be. Even if she was interested in me, it wouldn’t be right for either of us. Not just because I was her superior but because she was so young. I’d already decided I couldn’t date someone her age. I needed to find someone on my level.
And she probably wasn’t interested in me, anyway. It was just my infatuation making me imagine things. Maybe she wanted me in the recording studio with her because she was nervous. Like, she just wanted to see a familiar face when she had her first meetings with a producer.
I reached out for her hand and gave a firm shake. “I’ll be in touch with you, Lindsay.”
“Great, looking forward to it,” she said as she grabbed her bag and headed out the studio door.
“Drive safe!” I waved to her as she walked out.
“Will do.”
As soon as she was out of the room, I sank into my chair. Before this meeting, I had a mere crush on her. But now, I felt genuinely affected by her. I didn’t think I’d ever been this interested in another person.
She was just so unique, such a beautiful musician, with a gorgeous soul. And obviously an attractive body to boot. I liked her, I really did. I just could never act on it. Which meant I needed to force myself to stay away so I was never tempted to.
Still, I felt a weight on my chest now that she was gone. Knowing that this would be the last time I saw her for a long time, and that I was never going to get to explore a relationship with her… It caused almost an ache deep in my stomach.
I was craving her. And not just physically, attractive as she may be. But what I wanted more than physical interaction was mental interaction.
I wanted to learn more about her, I wanted to have more open discussions about our lives. I wanted to get to know her in any way that I could. I’d be satisfied to even have a piece of her.
I was about to walk out of the room when I saw it… The CD I had ditched into the empty wastebasket. Without hesitation, I picked it up and took it back into my office.
At least, through these songs, I could hold onto her a little longer.
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