“In terms of sentient beings, humanity is just a sapling in a forest so tall it blots out the sun.” Vyken pats the dusty bough by his head to illustrate his point, and then gives a smirk that has his eyes sparkling. He’s baiting me, but not in a cruel way. In the way someone might speak to somebody they liked. He’s a schoolboy pulling on my pigtails, and it makes me smile up at him.
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I say, airily, in the way only a human woman can. Meaning the total opposite of what I say and knowing he knows it. He’s been away from women for too long, and the space between his eyebrows creases as he watches me move to the tent’s entrance.
“Should we?” I ask over my shoulder, and his gaze flicks upwards, making me bite my lip. He was staring at my butt as I bent over. Amazing. Maybe these guys aren’t so alien after all.
“After you.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I tease, and when he frowns I bend over and give my butt a little wiggle, and laugh when he looks no less confused. “Never mind.” I climb in and am astonished at how much warmer I already feel. It was chilly outside, but it’s maybe just a few degrees too cold to be perfect in here. That probably means it’s ideal for thicker, larger Mahdfel.
But the tent comes with a thin, slightly crinkly blanket and the floor is puffed up with air, so it’s really not uncomfortable. Not my first … OK, ten choices … but I won’t exactly die like this.
“But how do we know what we’re waiting for?” I ask, settling down on the puffy floor of the tent and eyeing Vyken through the opening.
He pauses before entering and looks around. “Well, nothing seems to be happening right now. I haven’t detected any movement whatsoever within over one square mile the entire time we’ve been here.”
I get up onto my knees and hook my fingers around the tent flap, still looking up at him with an eagerness exacerbated by all the adrenaline in my system. “Let’s keep watch outside until it gets too cold,” I say. “I’ve never even left Earth before today.”
Vyken backs up and allows me to exit the tent again without further comment, so I scramble back out into the cool, dusty air and stretch.
“Shall we, I don’t know, patrol a little before it gets too cold to stay outside?” I ask, bouncing a little on the balls of my feet in excitement. He gives a lazy shrug but begins to walk beside me, slowing his natural pace considerably for my benefit.
“Why did you never leave Earth?” he asks after a few moments of delicately picking over the tangled roots that surround our camping spot. “You know there is a whole universe out there, and Earth is considered…” He thinks for a moment. “Well, it’s not exactly a pleasure planet.”
I wrinkle my nose. “What’s a pleasure planet?”
“Exactly what it sounds like.” He holds a branch up while I duck under it, then lets it spring back. I stare at it for a moment, and then turn back to him.
“Sounds like it’s full of prostitutes or something.”
He looked deeply confused, and then back to the front and continued to walk.
“Hold on, Roxie. I am trying to find a way to explain ‘prostitute’ to him.” The AI in my ear was making me jump a little less each time she spoke, but not by much. That made me laugh.
“You people pay each other for that?” he asks, golden eyes wide with confusion and concern.
“Well, I don’t,” I say with a smile. His face is cute.
“Well, I think things like that would happen on pleasure planets. Intoxicants and sunsets and companionship.” He looks upwards at the stars. They almost light up the sky as much as a full moon back on Earth. “I think maybe I understand now exactly what companionship might mean in that context.”
I smirk. “You really haven’t had any women on your planet in five years, huh?” I tease. He looks thoughtful, but not sad about it.
“No. After the Firosan species sacrificed themselves to save our shared planet, Paxia, we were no longer able to produce heirs. No women in my solar system for five years.”
I hadn’t known this. “They all sacrificed themselves, huh?”
He nods. “The Suhlik were trying to invade and drain dry Paxia. She is not only the planet that gives us life, she is our goddess and the reason the Firosans had access to a millennia of technological breakthroughs. Paxia watches all and learns all. She is not just a rock; a resource to be tapped and extracted. The Firosans joined hands and shorted out their bionic implants. They died so that Paxia and the Mahdfel could live.”
I have no idea what that means so I just nod with confidence.
“No species has ever wiped themselves out for humanity,” I say, conversationally.
“The Mahdfel fought the Suhlik to protect Earth,” Vyken reminds me. There’s no hint of bitterness at my not mentioning it, but he did say it very quickly.
“Of course they did. Sorry.” They didn’t wipe themselves out to save Earth, but I know that a lot of Mahdfel warriors did die. However, I don’t need to feel too bad: it was just one series of battles in an intergalactic intergenerational war. The Mahdfel and Suhlik are sworn enemies.
I don’t want to get involved with all of this, to be honest. That was why I just wanted to stay back on Earth and mind my own business. It’s too late for that now, though. And I have no regrets.
Yet.
“Do you ever miss the Firosans?” I ask, and then flinch. “Sorry. Of course you must. What a stupid question.” I roll my eyes. I never get tongue tied or say stupid stuff normally. My eyes wander down to Vyken’s bare chest, criss-crossed with scars from battle. Countless battles. Perhaps some from the very fights that saved the planet I was able to live on peacefully.
I feel like a jerk…
But being with him, it makes me feel flustered. He’s not only the most physically strong man I’ve ever met, he’s also probably the most emotionally strong. He is a rock of morality and honor and I hate the idea that I might not be good enough for him. That I might say the wrong thing and get met with disapproval.
It hasn’t actually happened yet, I remind myself. Vyken has looked at me with nothing but respect and acceptance.
I look down at my feet, hating that I’m making myself feel this way. Because I know full well it’s me and no one else.
“Vyken,” I say, before I can stop myself and actually figure out what it is I’m about to say to him. I just want to convey that I’m grateful. Grateful he took me with him on this journey, even though it was without my permission. Grateful he’s been a perfect gentleman … even though I’ve seen the way he looks at me when he thinks I don’t notice. Grateful he’s shown me a world already that’s better than any life I could have clumsily carved out with bad decision after bad decision back home.
‘Home.’
Already that concept seems laughable. Earth was never my home.
It was my prison.
I’m free now, and the universe is my oyster. Once I help Vyken with this, I can do whatever I want to do. Go wherever I want to go.
I owe this man my life.
But as I’m about to convey that as casually as humanly possible, my mouth hanging open and my eyes narrowed and staring up at the sky, instead all that comes out is a scream. The ground has crumbled beneath my feet and I’m once again having my choices taken away from me as I plummet for what seems like forever.
Chapter Eleven
Vyken
“Do you ever miss the Firosans?” she asks, her lovely thick eyelashes batting at me as if she understands it’s not a question that has any answer. Not an answer that can be properly conveyed by words, anyway. Because, yes, I hate that they are gone. But I am glad to still be alive. It’s a gift, and I thank them internally every day for it. And there’s no other reality I can picture but the one I’ve existed within for the last five years. I don’t know how to convey that to Roxie without sounding like an idiot.
I don’t want her to think I’m stupid.
Sure, I was never the brains of any operation. I am a highly trained fighter. I h
ave a blast bayonet hidden in this military uniform -- half sword, half gun, all power -- and I have never come up against any man or alien with the skill to take me down when I have it.
I have taken down more Suhlik enemies than anyone else I’ve ever met. My body count already exceeds that of any veteran. I was named after the Firosan word for bloodlust.
And yet this human in front of me -- all soft creamy skin and shining dark hair and this tough exterior that portrays a faux strength to conceal what she doesn’t realize is her true strength -- is making me wonder for the first time if that’s enough.
Being with Roxie, though, it makes me think about all kinds of things that I’ve buried just below the surface. I told Tyr I didn’t want a promotion past General because I was happy staying where I was, but the truth is … I don’t think I’m up to the responsibility of having my own crew. Of heading missions. I know, myself, that when I’m pitted against a foe I will probably win. I know that on a team with other Mahdfel warriors I trust that we will probably win.
But being with Roxie? It makes me realize that I truly do fear having people under my care. I am constantly watching, waiting for danger.
Luckily, the planet is dead. There is no danger nearby.
And then the ground gives way under her feet just as I’m about to try to tell her I’m glad she is here, with me, giving me a new perspective on my ability to keep people safe and to make logical decisions.
Just as I want to explain to her, also, that I never thought I would find anyone beautiful again, after the sacrifice of the Firosans. That I never thought I would find a human woman so beautiful. So tempting. So perfect. So sweet-smelling. She is tough despite her soft, vulnerable skin and lack of fighting skills. She is honest and principled and I grow more in awe of her with every word she says.
All of these things and more tumble from my mind as she literally slips through my fingers and into the dead earth. Instead of a world of poetry that I’d never be able to properly spell out to her, a Mahdfel snarl escapes my lips.
There’s no time now for planning. No time for hesitating, balking, thinking I’m not good enough to protect somebody. I’d always thought that in this situation I’d stand by the sidelines and try to think and when I couldn’t come up with a logical plan that’d be it.
But no. It’s happening and there’s no hesitation. There is only instinct.
I spread my arms and leap after her.
Chapter Twelve
Roxie
I must have walked over a weak point, because I tumbled straight into a well-established system of tunnels. I’m sure the inhabitants of this planet -- may they all rest in peace… -- knew exactly where to step and where not to so as not to disturb the winding caverns underneath the surface. I did not.
Luckily, the floor of these caverns are lined with soft beige dirt and layers of limp but thick leaves. I pat myself down to check for injury and all I find is a bruised tailbone. Ouch … but it could have been so much worse.
It’s not totally dark down here, and I wonder how that’s possible. Light streams in in patches from above, which makes me realize just how thin the surface actually is in some places. It’s a miracle, really, that I didn’t fall any earlier. Vyken must have been instinctively feeling out where to step … but I’m just a clumsy human. I don’t have any superpowers at all.
“I’m going to try to find a way out!” I shout, but I hear nothing but the crumbling, rumbling of falling dirt. I need to get away from this weak spot, that’s for sure.
I wander at random, winding to the left immediately and then curving over to the right. From there, I completely lose my bearings and have no idea really where I am. I just need to find some kind of way up -- there has to be plenty of ways out from this system. The Ferathorns spend -- spent -- time under the surface when it was cold and then clambered up again to soak up sun.
I just have to keep exploring. My mouth turns upwards into the kind of smile that makes your cheeks ache. I never thought I’d be exploring the bowels of a foreign planet, trying to find my way back to a frankly smoking hot purple-skinned alien warrior.
This is so not me, and yet … I feel more alive and more comfortable in my skin than I think I ever have before. Really.
Of course I was supposed to get out there in the world. See strange sights and make impossible connections and go to sleep every night with no idea what the next day would bring to me.
After a couple more twists and turns I realize I’m not walking at random, after all. The strongest part of my identity, perhaps of my past, is singing. And I can hear music. My feet are following it, walking to the beat of the beautiful, haunting song. I hum along, finding the notes and predicting the rising and falling. When one of the riffs repeats I open my mouth, spread my arms wide and harmonize with it.
Even though I’ve fallen into the planet and I am currently completely stuck here, I feel … light. Like I’m happier than I’ve ever been before. Like I have found myself, here. Like I had to come to somewhere completely and utterly dead; experience an ending to really begin.
I look down just in time to see something flash. It’s an electronic kind of green light, flicking on and off in the distance behind swirls of dust, and I find myself drawn to it. The mournful singing keeps going. Never getting any closer. And I wonder if I can even hear it with my actual ears. Maybe I can hear it deep inside me. Maybe it’s not actually happening at all.
“Roxie,” I hear behind me. My heart is flooded with relief and I turn and run to Vyken’s solid, familiar body. Before I can stop myself I wrap my arms around him and he is stunned momentarily, but then he wraps his arms around me in return and buries his face in my hair. It’s just a second. I release him and he in turn releases me like I’m scorching him, and we both take a small step back.
“Vyken,” I greet him. “Why did you come down? I would have been able to find a way up…”
“No,” he says simply, dismissing me with a single word. “The Ferathorns are very tall. They climb out without aid. A human cannot do it. I had to come down and carry you up.” He let out a sigh. “It was foolish to wander off -- you’re lucky you leave such obvious trails.”
I leave obvious trails? Who the hell is he to tell me that? I fold my arms, wondering why I’m taking offense to something I’ve never heard anyone say before. It just seems a little like, in Mahdfel culture, that is an insult.
“Hold still. I need to carry you carefully so as not to bruise your skin,” he says, all matter-of-fact. He steps forward to snatch me up and over his shoulder, and I hate being carried.
“Hang on, He-Man,” I say, lifting a finger to jab in his direction. He pauses, a frown lining his extraordinary chiselled features and his arms still raised to grab at me. “I can do it myself. I don’t need to be manhandled.”
His frown deepens. “You don’t understand. Yes, you do. If you want to leave these caverns, I need to carry you.”
I’m not a fan of this attitude; his arrogance and lack of faith in me. I know it’s dumb, but it’s pissing me off. I run my hand through my dusty hair and avert my gaze. I wish he thought of me as more of an equal, but that’s an impossible wish. He’s an Adonis, and I’m … well, I’m a human.
“I can do it,” I say again, but I know I can’t. But fuck him for assuming.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he tuts. “You are very tiny.” He steps forward and this time I let him fling me over his shoulder. OK -- ‘let’ might be going a little far. I didn’t really have a choice. I pound on his perfectly formed and toned back muscles, feeling every contour through his skintight military uniform, and I feel an aching deep inside.
Vyken, this warrior General, is pressed against me and it feels so warm, so right. We fit together so well I can’t help but squirm in his grasp. I pretend to fight him, knowing full well I can’t go anywhere, and kind of enjoying the way his firm body feels while I move against it.
Before I know what’s happening, we’re on the surface. He must hav
e just used his hands and feet on the handholds of the wall like some kind of gigantic purple squirrel. The stars twinkle above us once again, and I break away from his grip as soon as there is ground beneath my feet. I fold my arms and narrow my eyes.
“I could have,” I snap. I don’t know why I’m being like this, but I know I hate that he seems so much better than me at everything.
I wish I could feel like there was a chance in hell Vyken could like me for me, but how could he?
He lets out a low rumble from deep in his throat and I can see on his face that he’s annoyed at me. I hate that, he’s been nothing but helpful to me so far, but my gut it all twisted up and it’s because of him.
“I just wish I could help. I wish you trusted me like an equal. We need to figure stuff out together -- you can’t just be holding my hand and worrying about me the whole time we--”
“Don’t you see?” he interrupts. “I brought you here. There’s no way, by Paxia, that I will let you get hurt because you are with me. There’s no way, Roxie.” His voice is harsh and certain and it makes me lower my gaze to the ground. “I can’t stand the thought of you being hurt. Because I’m the one that brought you here. Do you understand that?”
I nudge a rock with my toe and look up into his intense golden eyes again. “Is … that the only reason?” I dare to ask. “You don’t want me to be hurt because you’d feel bad?”
He glares for a moment, but then his face relaxes as the meaning behind my words sink in. And for a second I feel like an idiot for even asking, because of course that’s the only reason. He’s all about honor and virtue and justice … and if I got hurt here because he let me come with him, he’d feel like a bad General. That’s all there is to it.
The rumble in his throat comes back, and he opens his mouth to let an animalistic growl escape. It’s a noise of pure frustration -- as though he can’t find the words to tell me everything rattling around in that impenetrable mind of his.
Instead of trying to speak, though, this huge, powerful fugitive steps towards me, curls his hand around my hip, and crashes his lips against mine.
Vyken: (Warriors of Firosa Book 3) Page 5