“Does he pull the weeds out for you?”
“No, we have to pull out our own weeds.”
“I don’t know how to.”
“He helps us.”
“How?”
Amanda thought a moment.
“I was a very selfish girl for most of my life,” she went on. “I thought about no one but myself for so many years that the weed of selfishness became a very big weed with very deep roots. The selfishness weed grew so big within me that there was hardly room for anything else to grow. It is not the kind of weed that can be pulled out all at once. And Jesus wants me to pull it out because that is part of what he wants me to learn, how to put others first instead of myself. But even though he doesn’t pull that weed out for me, every time I reach down to try, he places his hand on top of mine and gives me the strength to pull up the sin-weed a little more. So Jesus and I are working hard together to get selfishness out of me. And I hope that one day soon, if I keep trying and keep letting him help me, that the weed of selfishness will be gone from the garden of my heart. The roots may never come out altogether, and may keep sprouting tiny selfishness weeds all my life. But with the main weed gone, I will be able to pull those out myself whenever they start to grow. That’s how it is with all my sin-weeds. Jesus can’t just make them go away. I have to stoop down and grab hold of them first, then he helps me.”
“Why can he help pull them and we can’t?” asked Betsy.
“Because Jesus is God’s Son, and because he died for us,” replied Amanda. “That gives him a very special kind of power over sin that we do not have. The Bible says that he has conquered sin and can save us. Because of that, he can conquer it within us too. And the way he conquers sin within us is to help us conquer it ourselves by helping us pull out our own sin-weeds. That is why he is called our Savior. He has saved us from sin and can help get rid of the sin in our lives. He can also help you forgive the men who killed your father.”
“It all sounds confusing,” said Betsy.
Amanda smiled. “At first, perhaps,” she said. “But once you get to know Jesus, then it is wonderful. Let me try to explain it another way—you see, because Jesus died for us, he forgives all our sin—your hatred and my anger toward my father. Do you remember when Mr. Diggorsfeld said that Jesus took our sin to the grave with him?”
Betsy nodded.
“But the weeds of that sin are still growing in our hearts. So though God has forgiven us, we must still pull out the weeds. And when we invite him into our hearts, he helps us. He forgives you for your hatred, and he will help you get rid of it by helping you forgive those men. And with the hate-weed gone, even when it starts to be gone, he will begin to grow nice-smelling flowers inside you instead—flowers like kindness and goodness and happiness.”
Betsy thought a moment or two. Amanda said nothing. For a long minute they sat quietly together.
“I would like him to live in my heart,” said Betsy at length. “I want to get rid of the weeds so I can be a lady—a good lady like you, Amanda.”
At the words, Amanda’s heart stung her, and tears quickly rose to her eyes. She drew in a deep breath and blinked them back.
“You would like to invite Jesus into your heart like Mr. Diggorsfeld said?” she said.
Betsy nodded.
Amanda rose, wiping at her eyes. “Betsy,” she said, “let’s you and I go up to the secret room in the garret and pray there together.”
Betsy stood. Amanda offered her hand and led her to the library. Hand in hand they walked through the bookcases into the secret corridor. Moments later they were making their way through the now familiar hidden corridor toward the topmost portions of Heathersleigh Hall.
35
Secret Garden-Room of the Heart
Amanda and Betsy arrived at the secret room. Amanda closed the floor-door behind them; then they sat down on the bare wood together. The room was dark and Amanda left it that way. No words had passed between them as they came, and now they were quiet a few more moments as the serious mood between them deepened. At length Amanda spoke.
“This room,” she said, “is just like your heart, Betsy. It is in the middle of the house where no one can see it. Someone looking from the outside would never know it is here. And for years no one did know it was here, until my brother discovered it.”
She paused briefly.
“That’s the way our hearts are,” Amanda went on. “Most people don’t even know they contain a secret place just like this room—a secret place where Jesus wants to live. We all have a secret room inside us, but most people don’t even know it. That’s too bad, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” replied Betsy. “What if they never find it?”
“It is very sad, but some people never do. They never know about the room in their heart. They go through life and never explore the secret places of their house. Grandma Maggie once told me that it was like a mystery—the most important mystery in the world—and that every person must solve that mystery and discover that secret for himself, in the same way that George discovered the mystery of this secret room.”
Amanda paused briefly.
“But you know about your secret room now, don’t you, Betsy?” she went on. “So you don’t have to be one of those people who never solve the mystery. You can discover your secret room.”
Betsy took in her words thoughtfully.
“And when we invite Jesus to come live in the secret room of our hearts,” Amanda went on, “he will be there always with us, a special friend living in our house, a friend we can see and visit and talk to anytime we want—our very own special friend. Isn’t that a wonderful thought?”
“Oh yes,” replied Betsy, eyes aglow. The moment she realized she wanted to be good, and wanted Jesus’ help, the doors of her soul began to open. It is within the hearts of those whose desire it is to grow and change toward goodness that the daystar of understanding will always arise, as it was now rising in the heart of Elsbet Conlin.
“It is as if there was a secret treasure right here in this room—”
As Amanda said the words Betsy could not help glancing around, even in the darkness, with sudden curiosity.
“—But Jesus living in our hearts is even better than a secret treasure,” said Amanda. “Because sometimes treasure makes people greedy. But Jesus helps us be good, and makes nice things grow. That’s the difference between this room and the secret place of our hearts where Jesus lives. This is just an empty room with nothing in it. But imagine if this room had a skylight instead of a roof, a skylight to let in sun and rain. And imagine if this floor wasn’t made of wood but was good, rich dirt, and that this secret room was able to grow beautiful flowers in it. That’s the way our hearts are. There is a garden inside it. So when we invite Jesus to come live there, he changes the dark secret room into a garden and gets very busy tending it, making nice character-flowers grow.”
“I want him living in my heart,” said Betsy. “I want Jesus to be in my secret room.”
“Then all you have to do is ask him. The door to the room is unlocked. He will come in as soon as you open the door.”
“How do I open the door?”
“Just talk to him, invite him to make his home in your heart. As soon as you do, he comes in.”
“Will I . . . hear him or feel him?”
“No . . . you will just know he has come in.”
“Then . . . how should I ask him?” said Betsy. “Where is he?”
“He is everywhere. He is here with us right now.”
“He is!”
“Yes, and he is listening and just waiting for you to ask.”
When the moment is right, no prodding is necessary. And Betsy needed none.
“Jesus, wherever you are,” she began at once, eyes wide and expectant, “please come into the secret room of my heart, like Amanda says. I want you to live inside me, and to be my friend and make me good like my daddy said. I want nice flowers to grow inside me. I am sorry for hating those bad
men. . . .”
As Amanda listened, she remembered the day her father led her and George through a prayer to accept the Lord as their Savior many years ago. She had done so, and meant it, as much as she was capable of at the time with so many conflicting thoughts in her young brain about the sudden spiritual changes that had come to their family. And through the years since, as she had grown and drifted away, she had known all along that she was still a Christian, even if a rebellious one.
And now she found herself praying similar words to Betsy’s to reaffirm her own new commitment to the faith that had earlier been her father’s.
Lord, prayed Amanda silently, I too am sorry for the weeds I have allowed to grow in my heart’s garden. It is sin and I know it. Please forgive me. Thank you for not giving up on me during all those years I tried to give up on you. I know you are in my heart because you never left. But I want now to rededicate myself to you—not partially, but completely. So I give myself anew to you, every part of my life. Take me over completely. Thank you for dying for me, and for the new life of your resurrection. I feel almost as if I had been dead myself and have been raised with you. If anyone deserved to die, it was me, not my father or you. Yet you kept loving me all through my rebellious years. Even though my father is now with you, I feel more alive than ever before. All I can do is thank you and devote myself to you completely.
Amanda had hardly been listening, but now Betsy’s voice again came into her hearing.
“. . . and I will try to be good, if you will help me pull bad weeds out of my heart.”
Betsy stopped and turned toward Amanda.
“What do I do now?” she asked. “I don’t feel any different.”
“Jesus is in your heart now,” replied Amanda. “So start talking to him as your friend, and keep asking him to help you pull the weeds of sin and grow sweet-smelling flowers. Go to the secret room whenever you can, just as we come here whenever we want. With Jesus in our hearts we can go there too, to visit him and talk to him, ask for his help with the sin-weeds that are troubling us, and especially to ask him what he wants us to do.”
“How does he tell you?” asked Betsy.
“By putting the feeling of what is right and what is wrong inside you,” replied Amanda, “and then urging you to do what is right. He also says things in the Bible that we are to do. Mother and Catharine and I can help you learn some of those things. Like forgiving our enemies. That is something we may not feel like doing, or sometimes may not even want to do. But with Jesus in our hearts, we have to do it, because he tells us to. He is not only our friend, he is also our Master. So we must do as he says.”
“It sounds fun,” said Betsy. “Is he really alive and right with us all the time?”
“He is. But some of the things he tells us to do can be very hard. It is not easy to forgive your enemies. But when we do those difficult things, he will make us much happier for it.”
Amanda reached over and found the switch to turn on the light. The two of them squinted at first as their eyes became accustomed to the brightness.
“Do you know what you just did, Betsy?” said Amanda. “You turned on the light in your secret room by inviting Jesus to come in. Now it will never be dark in there again.”
36
Another Key
Maggie was still mostly bedridden after two weeks and could only get about with help. One of the Heathersleigh women stayed with her at the cottage every night and throughout most days.
Dr. Cecil Armbruster had declared the hip suffering from a hairline fracture, not an outright break.
“You should be able to walk on it within a month,” he said to Maggie and Jocelyn on the day of his diagnosis. “But, young lady,” he added, poking a stern finger toward Maggie while flashing a quick grin in Jocelyn’s direction, “I know you! Your doctor is giving you strict orders to stay out of your garden until I pronounce you fit.”
“But the weeds—” Maggie began to protest.
“Will still be there waiting for you a month from now,” interrupted the doctor.
“They will take over.”
“And we will help you,” interjected Jocelyn. “Betsy will love to get her hands into your dirt. That is all she is talking about these days, pulling weeds. She will have a splendid time, and the rest of us will all help her.”
————
“Amanda dear,” said Maggie one afternoon when Amanda was spending the latter half of the day at the cottage, “would you bring me my Bible? I think your mother put it on the secretary—you know, there in the sitting room—when she was here this morning.”
Amanda rose from her chair, walked into the sitting room, and picked up Maggie’s Bible. As she made her way back to the bedroom, Bible in hand, she paused and glanced back and took another long look at the open secretary from which she had just lifted it.
Suddenly it struck her how similar it was to the one in the library at the Hall she had noticed just a few days ago when she and Betsy were on their way to the secret room. Was she remembering correctly, that the cubbyholes and drawers in back of the lid-desk were on the right of the secretary back at the Hall? If so, the two cabinets would be nearly exact mirror replicas of each other. And why not? Maggie’s great-great-grandfather had built them both. For here, as Amanda looked at the open desk, the drawers were on the left, and the ornate panel hiding the compartment Maggie had shown them was on the right.
What other similarities might there be that were not discernible at first glance?
Amanda continued to stare at Maggie’s cabinet, the wheels of her brain slowly turning in a new direction. She recalled months ago sitting here with Catharine and her mother as Maggie explained about finding the secret panel and shelf where the deed to Heathersleigh Cottage had lain so long hidden.
Slowly she made her way back to the secretary, pulled out the drawer, just as Maggie had shown them. There sat the key, just as Maggie had described finding it.
Her curiosity heightened and her thoughts accelerating, Amanda reached into the drawer, picked up the little key, and held it a moment, turning it over in her fingers.
Suddenly an explosion went off in her brain.
She knew this key!
Or one just like it. She had known it for years! Geoffrey knew it too. And it still sat on the same key ring where it had baffled them all this time!
She stood back and beheld the secretary again.
What if—
By now Amanda’s brain was spinning rapidly.
If the same craftsman had built the two cabinets, why shouldn’t both pieces of furniture be alike . . . down to every detail!
“Grandma Maggie—here is your Bible,” she cried, hurrying into the bedroom. “I have to run home!”
“What is it, Amanda dear?” asked Maggie in alarm.
“Maybe nothing—I’ll tell you about it as soon as I get back.”
Already Amanda was out the door and flying through the woods toward Heathersleigh Hall.
37
Discovery
Panting for breath, Amanda burst into the east sitting room, where she entered by the side door. Jocelyn glanced up. A sudden fear seized her heart.
“What is it, Amanda!” said Jocelyn, beginning to rise. “Is Maggie—”
“No, she’s fine, Mother,” said Amanda, dashing through the room.
“But what—”
“I’m going to the tower! Where’s Catharine?”
Two minutes later, still breathing hard, Amanda stood in the familiar tower, the footsteps of her mother and sister echoing from the stone stairway behind her. When Catharine ran through the door a few seconds later, Amanda was stooped over, fumbling with frantic fingers at the loose stone in front of the tiny recessed chamber where Geoffrey had long ago discovered the key ring.
“Amanda, what—”
“The keys, Catharine! I think I know—”
The stone fell to the floor. Amanda grabbed the key ring off the iron hook in the recess with its two keys. B
y the time her mother reached the tower a few seconds later, Amanda was disappearing through the wall of the opposite side into the hidden maze of corridors.
“Catharine, do you know—” began Jocelyn.
“I know nothing, Mother,” replied Catharine. “I just saw her grab the two keys, open the hidden door with the one, then run through it.”
Again mother and sister hurried after Amanda.
“Amanda . . . where are you going?” yelled Catharine into the maze after her.
“. . . the library!” were the only words Catharine heard echoing back through the blackness.
When Catharine and Jocelyn reached the library two minutes later, they found Amanda standing in front of the ancient cabinet that had been there longer than any of them could remember.
“What is it, Amanda?” asked Jocelyn, hurrying up beside her.
“All these years we have known that Maggie’s great-grandfather built both this secretary and the one at the cottage,” she answered. “Yet even after Maggie showed us the hidden panel in hers a few months ago, I never made the connection.”
“What connection?” asked Jocelyn.
Amanda showed them the key ring she had taken from the tower.
“This,” she said, “—the small mystery key! We knew the larger of the two opened the door George discovered in the wall of the tower. But this tiny one—”
“Looks exactly like the key Maggie found in the drawer of her secretary!” exclaimed Catharine.
All three now approached the cabinet built by Webley Kyrkwode for Broughton Rutherford.
Amanda pulled down the lid, revealing an open secretary-desk just like Maggie’s—with, as she thought, the drawers, cubbyholes, and rear panel exactly reversed. Slowly Amanda pulled out the drawer above the ornate rear panel. She took it all the way out, as she had seen Maggie do, set it aside, then reached inside the drawer space with her hand, probing with her fingers.
Jocelyn and Catharine saw her eyes widen and knew she had found something.
“Hand me the key, Catharine,” she said.
Catharine did so. Amanda again reached into the space and, with some effort, inserted the key into the locking mechanism she had discovered. Just like with Maggie’s cabinet, the vertical panel gave way and swiveled toward her on its invisible pivot. Upon the shelf that was revealed sat, not a deed this time, but a large and ornately bound book.
A New Dawn Over Devon Page 18