by Anne Mather
Not that Raul had stopped speaking to her altogether. On the contrary, he’d spent some time pointing out places of interest along the coast, drawing her attention to different rock formations, even discussing the chances of finding the wreck of a treasure ship among the rocks and coral reefs that studded these waters. Almost like a professional guide, she reflected bitterly, sure he was wishing he’d never suggested taking her out.
They’d had lunch at one o’clock, anchored off a deserted cove that looked to be totally untouched. Indeed, Ally had wondered if anyone had ever set foot on its unspoilt beach, although as Raul had known it was here that had probably been a naïve thought.
Nevertheless, she had been absurdly tempted when he’d suggested that if she’d like to go for a swim there was no doubt a swimsuit she could use in the cabin below. But the thought of appearing before him in the kind of scanty outfit a much slimmer woman might wear had been too depressing to consider, and it was only now that she speculated whether she hadn’t spurned the best chance of reaching him that she’d had.
Whatever, she’d heard the unmistakable splash as he’d gone into the water, and it had taken an immense effort of will to stay where she was and not go rushing to the rail to watch him.
Now, however, they were back at the marina with nothing resolved between them and Ally decided it was probably just as well. Their relationship had had no future, after all, and it was possible that he had realised it, too.
CHAPTER TEN
ALLY was standing by the gangway when Raul came back on board.
She hadn’t made the mistake of putting her sandals on again. They could wait until she was safely back on the quay. Cursing the slightly breathy note in her voice, she said, ‘Are you ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be,’ remarked Raul drily, regarding her with quizzical eyes. ‘The question is, are you?’
‘Me?’ Ally’s voice rose an octave and she made an effort to control it. ‘Of course. Why not?’
‘Have you forgiven me for embarrassing you earlier?’
‘For—for embarrassing me?’ Ally swallowed. ‘I’m not sure I know what you mean.’
‘Oh, I think you do.’ Raul’s nostrils flared for a moment. ‘Despite what you think of me, I’m not usually in the habit of attempting to seduce my—companion, date, call it what you will—in full view of anyone who cares to look.’
Ally shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter—’
‘It does matter.’ When she would have moved past him, he blocked her way. ‘Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Why else have you treated me like a stranger for the past four hours?’
Ally stared at him. ‘I’ve treated you like a stranger?’ She made a defensive sound. ‘I’ve only taken my cue from you.’
‘From me?’ He seemed genuinely taken aback. He raked long fingers through the wind-tumbled darkness of his hair. ‘How was I suppose to act, for God’s sake? You’ve made it perfectly clear, on more than one occasion now, that my behaviour disgusts you. Well, guess what? Today I’ve disgusted myself, too.’
Ally moistened her lips. ‘I think we’d better go,’ she said hastily. ‘Suzanne will be wondering where we are. I’m sure she didn’t realise we were going to be out so long. But—but I do appreciate your giving me this opportunity to experience sailing first-hand. It’s been—wonderful!’
Raul’s lips twisted. ‘Has it?’
‘Well, for me it has,’ said Ally firmly, stepping round him.
‘Even if I’ve ruined everything?’
Ally gained the comparative security of the dock before glancing back over her shoulder. ‘There was nothing to ruin,’ she told him, with a nervous little shake of her head. ‘Um—are you coming?’
Raul scowled, but he obediently collected the picnic basket and followed her along the planked walk back to the quay.
The sun was still very hot and Ally was aware that, despite her efforts to stay in the shade of the yacht’s awning, her arms and her calves were itching with the heat. She dreaded to think what her face must look like and she curled into her seat with her head turned resolutely away from him when he climbed into the car beside her.
They seemed to get back to the hotel in record time and Ally guessed that Raul had chosen to concentrate all his energies on his driving and not on her. Which was just as well, she acknowledged, dry-mouthed. She didn’t know how much longer she could maintain a façade of indifference when every nerve in her body was crying out for his touch.
He brought the convertible to a halt at the foot of the steps where he’d picked her up that morning. But before she could open her door and escape into the hotel, his hand closed possessively on her thigh.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, his low voice disturbing her almost as much as his hand on her hot flesh. ‘I don’t know what came over me. If it’s any compensation, I have to say that you seem to bring out the worst in me.’
‘Then—then it’s just as well that we won’t be seeing one another again,’ Ally declared unsteadily, her breath catching in her throat. She put her hand over his in an attempt to get him to remove it and, when he met her efforts with obvious resistance, she met his sensual gaze with a challenging look. ‘You don’t want to—to repeat the offence, do you?’
She thought he was going to argue with her. Then, with a muttered oath, he withdrew his hand. However, her relief was short-lived. ‘We will be seeing one another again,’ he said, and Ally hoped she was only imagining the grim determination in his words. ‘Tomorrow night at Finisterre.’ He flung himself back in his seat. ‘Be there.’
How Ally got up the steps and into the hotel, she never knew. Her legs were so shaky she wasn’t totally convinced that they’d support her, and the awareness of Raul’s eyes upon her—upon the curve of her bottom and thighs, she reminded herself uneasily, smoothing her skirt down over her hips as best she could—was an added impediment.
But somehow she made it into the hotel, only to come face to face with Julia in the lobby.
‘So there you are.’ Julia’s tone was decidedly peevish and Ally hoped she was not going to have to face a confrontation with her. But the girl only looked beyond her and demanded querulously, ‘Where’s Raul?’
‘I—oh—he’s gone, I think.’ In all honesty, Ally didn’t know where Raul was at this moment, and she told herself she didn’t want to know.
‘Gone?’ Julia’s attention transferred itself back to her. ‘Oh, Aunt Ally, don’t say you didn’t invite him in.’
Ally gave an inward groan, but, before she was obliged to make some response, Suzanne came out of the dining room and smiled when she saw her friend.
‘Ally,’ she exclaimed. ‘You look as if you’ve had a good time.’
‘Do I?’ Ally wasn’t at all convinced that her appearance warranted such an interpretation but she was only too willing to agree if it meant avoiding an argument with Julia ‘Actually, I can’t wait to get in the shower.’ She fanned herself theatrically. ‘It’s been so hot.’
‘I can see that.’ Suzanne didn’t sound quite so sympathetic now. ‘You should have borrowed a hat.’
‘Raul’s gone, Mum.’
Before Ally could say anything else, Julia intervened, and although her tone was laconic, Suzanne immediately glanced round the foyer. ‘He has?’ she exclaimed anxiously, and Ally realised that it was Suzanne and not her daughter who looked the most perturbed. Her eyes flicked back to Ally. ‘Where is he? Didn’t he bring you back?’
Ally wanted to groan aloud. ‘Well, yes,’ she said evenly, ‘but I suppose he thought that as he’s—seeing you all tomorrow evening…’
She let her voice trail away, hoping they’d accept what she was trying to say, but Suzanne still looked troubled. ‘It’s not like Raul to leave without saying goodbye,’ she said, her brows drawing together in a frown. ‘Everything was all right, wasn’t it? You haven’t fallen out with him or anything? After what I told you—’
‘Oh, come on, Mum.’ Julia made an im
patient gesture now. ‘Aunt Ally’s probably right. You know what his mother’s like. I bet she told him to get back in good time to help her. After all, he has been out of her sight for a good five hours!’
‘I wish you wouldn’t be so sarcastic, Julia.’ Her mother gave her a reproving stare. ‘Just because Isabel relies on Raul is no reason to make fun of her. Don’t forget, she’s had a lot to contend with in her life.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Julia was sardonic. ‘It must have been real tough marrying a millionaire and living at Finisterre all these years. My heart bleeds for her.’
‘Julia!’ Suzanne was angry now. ‘I won’t have you speaking of your future mother-in-law in that way. You know very well that she’s been in and out of hospital for the past twelve months. The woman’s had cancer, for goodness sake! Surely you don’t begrudge her the time she spends with her son.’
‘She does have more than one son,’ retorted Julia sulkily. ‘I don’t see Carlos running after her like Raul does.’
‘That’s because that young man is as selfish as you are,’ declared Suzanne in a low impatient tone. ‘Now, if that’s all you’ve got to say, I suggest you go and help your father. He’s in the cellar with José, checking the wine stocks.’
The girl made a horrified sound. ‘But I’ve just had my hair done,’ she protested.
‘So?’
Suzanne arched an imperious brow and, with a gesture of disgust, Julia flounced away. But when Ally would have followed her, Suzanne put a hand on her arm to detain her.
‘I’d like to have word with you, Ally,’ she said, renewing all Ally’s earlier apprehension. ‘I think you have something to tell me, don’t you?’
Ally decided to go for a walk after dinner that evening. She wasn’t in the mood to go to bed and spend the next couple of hours fretting over what had happened that morning and, equally, she had no desire to discuss it with anyone else. Particularly Suzanne, who was obviously more concerned with what she was going to do about Jeff.
Jeff.
Ally took a deep breath and kicked off her sandals as she stepped down onto the beach. That was what Suzanne had wanted to talk to her about earlier. Sam had rung while she was out with Raul and her daughter had had no hesitation about telling Suzanne exactly what was going on at home. She’d assumed her mother would have confided in her friend and that was why Suzanne had sounded so offended when she’d told Ally that she wanted to speak to her. She’d wanted to know how Ally felt about it and why she’d kept the news to herself.
Unfortunately, Ally had been so relieved that her friend hadn’t discovered anything about herself and Raul that she’d been far more expansive about her feelings than she should have been. She’d left the other woman in no doubt that she didn’t want a reconciliation with Jeff, and in consequence any chance of using that as a reason for returning to England had been stymied.
Naturally Suzanne had supported her decision. ‘The man’s a louse,’ she’d declared, squeezing Ally’s shoulder in a gesture of encouragement. ‘Even Samantha agrees with me. I suggest you ignore anything he might say to the children to get their sympathy and be glad you’re not there to pick up the pieces.’
To pick up the pieces.
Suzanne’s words came back to haunt her. Was that how her friend saw Jeff’s situation? Despite the way he’d treated her, Ally knew she wouldn’t be happy thinking that her ex-husband was falling apart. He was Sam and Ryan’s father, after all. That should afford him some respect.
She sighed. She didn’t want to think about Jeff now. Maybe in the morning she’d give the matter some serious consideration. For tonight she just wanted to escape her problems—most of which she’d brought upon herself, she conceded unhappily—and enjoy the warm wind in her hair and the distinctive scent of the ocean breaking on the sand just a few feet away.
She had left the lights that illuminated the steps behind and was just thinking that perhaps she ought to be turning back when she sensed she was no longer alone. It wasn’t that she had actually heard someone behind her, but rather an awareness of their presence, of other lungs breathing the soft warm air.
She felt a twinge of panic. Had someone—some man, perhaps—seen her leave the grounds of the hotel and decided to follow her? Had he followed her down the steps, keeping at a safe distance until he’d estimated that he couldn’t be heard from above?
There was only one way to find out. Telling herself that she was probably imagining it—or, if not, that it could be anyone, even Tom Adams—Ally glanced apprehensively over her shoulder.
Her lips parted in dismay. Not Tom Adams, she acknowledged tensely, taking a deep breath as she turned to face her pursuer. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Following you. What else?’ asked Raul drily, slipping his hands into the pockets of his silk trousers as he came nearer. ‘You shouldn’t be out here alone, you know. It’s not wise.’
‘Because I might be accosted?’ asked Ally wryly. ‘Oh, right. You just proved it.’
‘You don’t have to be afraid of me, Ally,’ retorted Raul, with some heat. ‘I thought we dealt with that this morning. I’ve said I’m sorry. I don’t see what more I can do.’
‘How about keep away from me?’ suggested Ally, aware that she wasn’t handling this at all well. She had hoped to achieve some kind of detachment before she saw Raul again, but the circumstances of this meeting had seriously damaged what little self-possession she had.
‘You know I can’t do that,’ he said now, turning to stare broodingly at the horizon. There was a moon, but its light was fleeting as it dodged the clouds that were massing over the headland. ‘I didn’t intend to come here tonight. When I left home I had no clear notion of where I was going.’
‘So you came here.’
‘Yes.’
‘To see Julia?’
‘No, not to see Julia,’ he said harshly. ‘I came to see you. Can’t you understand? I wanted to be with you. I wasn’t convinced you’d believed me this morning, and I see now I was right.’
Ally tugged her lower lip between her teeth. The temptation to look at him without his being aware of it was irresistible, however, and, although she knew it was crazy, she couldn’t drag her eyes away.
He was dressed all in black this evening: a black silk shirt and loose-fitting trousers that billowed against his strong muscular legs. She knew what those legs felt like against hers, she thought, almost incredulously; knew the fine dark hair that arrowed down his chest; had felt how it coarsened to protect the dormant power of his sex…
Oh, God!
With a swift intake of breath she forced herself to look away, and as she did so she realised she was wasting her opportunity to get away from him. If he followed her back to the hotel, then so be it. She would feel far safer in the brightly lit environs of the lobby, even if her fears were more to do with her weaknesses than his.
‘You made it easy for me,’ he said, before she could move away from him, and his words arrested her.
‘I beg your pardon?’ she began, and he turned to give her a weary look.
‘By coming down here,’ he said flatly. ‘What did you think I meant? You haven’t made anything else easy. And it was just luck that I happened to see you leaving the hotel.’
‘Luck?’
Ally tried to sound sarcastic and failed abysmally. But she couldn’t deny that the things he was saying scared her. Their relationship had never been meant to be like this.
She had to leave, but when she started past him, he spoke again. ‘Don’t go,’ he said softly. ‘Please.’
Ally couldn’t look at him now. ‘I must.’
‘Why?’
Why? He asked her that? ‘You know why,’ she said in a muffled voice. ‘You shouldn’t even be here.’
‘I know why you think you have to go, but you’re mistaken,’ he replied huskily. ‘What are we doing that’s so wrong? I’m not touching you, am I? I’m not forcing you to touch me?’
‘But you want to,’ she said,
her voice strangled, and his acknowledgement was faintly ironic.
‘Well, yes,’ he said. ‘But it’s what we both want. You just don’t like to admit it.’
Ally stifled a sob. ‘That’s not true.’
‘Of course it’s true.’ He was almost dismissive. ‘We were meant to be together. Standing there, so fiercely indignant in your demure little dress. You want me just as much as I want you, Ally. When are you going to recognise that fact?’
‘Never.’
Shivering, Ally wrapped her arms about her waist. It was a form of protection, only she knew she had no real protection from him. Yes, she wanted him, she acknowledged. How could she not? He was the only man she had ever…
She stopped herself there; stopped short of the ultimate admission. No, she told herself angrily. She didn’t love him. She couldn’t love him. That way lay disaster—for everyone.
‘I’m going back,’ she insisted unsteadily, trying not to notice how the moonlight tinged his dark hair with silver, accentuated the aquiline lines of his face. He looked tired, she thought, but that was not her problem. ‘It’s getting late.’
His shrug was indifferent. ‘If you must,’ he said carelessly. ‘Me: I’m going for a swim.’
Ally gazed at him in dismay now. ‘You can’t,’ she exclaimed, as his hands went to the buckle of his belt. ‘I mean…’ She shook her head disbelievingly. ‘You can’t mean you’re going to swim in your—your underwear?’
‘I’m not wearing any underwear,’ he replied, unbuttoning his shirt, and her mouth went wide when he dropped his trousers onto the sand.
It was true. He wasn’t wearing any underwear. He was completely naked beneath the folds of black silk. And, evidently uncaring of what she thought of him—of what she did—he turned and strode purposefully into the water.