by Debra Jupe
She strolled into the darkened room and flipped on a vintage floor lamp. A dim light flooded the cold area. Faded flowery wallpaper coated the walls. A picture of Jesus on the cross faced an iron bedframe covered in a patchwork quilt sat against the opposite wall. Two windows shielded in worn shades were situated on each side of the bed. Handmade curtains sewn from feed sacks hung over the tops.
“Five star accommodations, huh?”
“Been is worse.” Jack sat his bag on the mattress surface, triggering a quiet squeak. He removed his jacket then threw it on top of his duffle. “Much.” His nose wrinkled. “What’s the smell?”
Her grin extended at the mention of the odd mixture of bleach and ammonia scent. “Mothballs. My grandmother kept them everywhere, and it’s been virtually impossible to get rid of the odor. I think she became addicted to the aroma.”
He hurried to the window and yanked up the shade, allowing the morning sunlight to filter through. A hand gripped the edge of the sill, his upper arm tensed. Katie squeezed her bottom lip between her teeth and stared. His shirt sleeves tightened around a brawny bicep. Flexing his muscles, he heaved at the ledge before the stubborn glass gave way and lifted.
A blast of cool air smacked her in the face. Katie blinked several times, forcing her gaze from his well-built physique. There wasn’t enough ice in Antarctica to take away this guy’s hotness, even if she was pissed. How was she going to spend three days, alone with him, knowing what she did?
Jack spun and faced her. “If I must choose between that stink and cold. I choose cold.” A charming half-grin prompted a sexy crinkle around his eyes. “No offense to Nana.” His smile faded. “Katie, I’m beat and need to sleep, but I think we should talk about what happened last night first.”
She held up both hands, palms facing him. “I’m not up for a talk right now, Jack. I want to get some rest too. I’ll let you unpack.”
Katie rushed to leave. Frigidness might’ve overpowered his bedroom, but the mention of their shared encounter brought her inner thermometer to sky high then plummet to below zero.
After she’d stashed her belongings, put the groceries away, she went into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. Since she didn’t sleep much the night before, a nap was in the works. She put on an oversized flannel shirt and socks, and climbed into bed. Except rest refused to come. She tried to ignore Jack slept across the hall. With his muscles, and memory of the feel of his lips pressing onto hers, his touch, his hardened body, his dismissal, still fresh.
Her mind churned. How come she couldn’t be mad for a while and then let this go? If anyone else had treated her this way, she’d stripped them down and kicked them out into the rain. Why was Jack so different? Why did she allow him and his actions to emotionally beat her down?
Covers thrown back, she rolled to the floor, her stocking feet gliding the length of the worn planks as she snatched her laptop. She stepped softly into the living room, making a stop at a gas fireplace. Flames shot through the metal burners instantly warming her. She curled into an old wooden rocker and opened her computer. With little work from her, the chair swayed back and forth in a hypnotic creak while she forced her mind to absorb the displays on the screen in front of her.
An out of place noise made her glance up.
Jack shadowed form framed the doorway. His bare shoulder braced against the doorjamb, arms folded across his exposed middle, legs crossed, observing her with a serious frown.
She swallowed and choked out, “I thought you were sleeping”
He remained motionless and continued to stare.
“Jack?”
“Thirsty. I need a drink of water.” He moved further into the room, bolting toward the kitchen.” I don’t have to draw it from the well, do I?”
“The faucet works,” she mumbled, forcing her attention on her computer. “I’ve packed some healthy drinks too. You’re welcome to one.”
“I’ll stick with water, thanks.” He paused. “Unless you brought beer.”
She leaned closer to her laptop screen. “Damn.”
He stopped and turned to her with raised brows. “Problem?”
“Internet is iffy. Everything froze. I’m going to lose my shopping cart.” She pushed the “enter” button repeatedly. “That’s three hours of research, shot to hell.”
“Investigating possible suspects?”
“Shoes.”
He shook his head. “I thought you planned on discovering who wants to send you to prison.”
“On my to do list.” Teeth gritted, she rammed the key continuously.
From out of nowhere, rough, warm fingers gripped her wrist. Her entire body stiffened. Slowly, she raised her chin, meeting a green gaze.
Jack let her fist slip from his grasp. “Hitting the button over and over won’t unfreeze it.”
Katie stared as he backed away.
“Don’t buy anything. Save your purchases instead. Credit and debit cards can be traced,” he warned.
“Jack?”
He halted, though his gaze didn’t quite mesh with hers. She stared at him, careful to keep her focus on his face. She wouldn’t dare allow her eyes to drift onto his naked chest. Her chin dropped “Never mind.”
His frowned thoughtfully. “We should talk, Katie.”
She shot up a palm and shook her head. “No Jack,” she almost shouted.
Thoughts of last night, the humiliation only made her angry. She preferred not to display any heated emotion. He didn’t need to know her feelings.
“Yes, Katie.” Jack insisted in a quiet voice. His gentle tone took away most of her hostility. “We’re here for the next couple of days, and right now everything is awkward as hell. I can’t live with this much tension and neither can you. The only way to solve this is to clear the air. Have a heart to heart about what happened.”
Katie bit her bottom lip. She couldn’t bear to hear why he came to her or worse, the reason he stopped.
“I’ve already said this, but I’m sorry for my behavior.” Hands shoved into his pockets, he sighed and looked away. “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have done anything. It was wrong of me.”
Katie clutched the aged wood, her fingers rounded the arms of the chair. “Right. You’ve made that clear, and I don’t need to rehash the episode.”
“I want to explain.”
“Explain what?” Her voice rose as she edged her butt to the chair’s border. Her back straightened. “I understand. I had a crush on you from the moment I met you, a liking that stayed with me until my teenage years. Yes, I behaved badly because of my young age, I didn’t know how to act toward someone I was so crazy about. Then I grew up, and you still failed to notice me. I decided to take the initiative. I revealed my feelings the night before you left for college. Instead of letting me down easily, you said…” she blinked back the tears.
Years of pain welled up in her chest. The dam was about to break. She couldn’t go further for fear of revealing every spec of agony she’d stored over time. He’d view her as pathetic.
“My response was,” Jack continued in a hoarse tone. “To go home, and play with dolls. Learn how to be a girl. And I would never be with someone so annoying.”
A tear streaked down her cheek. “You still see me that way. You view me as that bothersome kid with too much testosterone.”
He shook his head. “I don’t find anything boyish about you, especially after last night. I’m sorry for saying those things to you back then. Very uncalled for, specifically to an impressionable sixteen year old girl. I tried to apologize the other day, but you wouldn’t let me.” He grinned. “And yeah, you’re still a little trying. But it’s cute now. Even so, this isn’t the right time for me to get involved with anyone. I’ve already explained that to you.”
“There won’t ever be the right time for you and me.” Her voice cracked. “I’ll never be the type of woman you go for.”
“Why does this matter so much?”
“Because it does, I mean, doesn’
t.”
“I think so.” He took a step closer and bent, making his face level with hers. “What are you saying, Katie?” Jack eyes narrowed into jade slits. “Or better yet, what are you not saying. Do you still have feelings for me?”
Chapter 15
Katie stared at Jack. “Do I still have feelings for you?” Color crept over her face, though he wasn’t sure if it was from anger or he’d hit a nerve. “You actually believe I’ve been holding on to some teenage dream, especially after the coldhearted way you blew me off? Are you delusional or just that vain?”
He backed away. Anger, definitely anger. Dammit, he’d been an attorney for years. He should’ve used his words better. From her “about to explode” expression, he’d asked the wrong question and turned a tense situation into mountainous. He must perform some damage control before the catastrophe molted into un-repairable devastation.
After last night, he was unsure they hadn’t already reached desolation. He’d constantly scolded himself over his behavior. He allowed his personal needs to overtake his common sense and he’d taken advantage of her old feelings. His current yearnings were nothing more than the lack of being close to a woman for months.
“I’m sorry, Katie. I shouldn’t have asked you—,” he rushed, ramming his hands into his pockets. A corner of his mouth lifted. “I seem to be apologizing a lot lately.”
“Maybe you should do a blanket one. Cover everything from past indiscretions to your present behavior. And for any stupidity that may occur in between.”
Sarcasm. His attempt at charm didn’t work. He needed to do something else or she might pick him up and toss him out on his ass, locking the doors behind her.
Outer limits country wasn’t his thing.
“I should,” he agreed. “I do. I don’t know what made me ask that. Forgive me. Last night.” He swallowed and hurried on before she could stop him. “Due to my circumstances, I prefer not to drag you into my mess, particularly when you have other—things—to deal with. You understand, right?”
“Sure. I see.” Her gaze dropped. She stared vacantly at the floor.
“Do you?” His gut told him she wasn’t being straight about her feelings, but because she seemed determined to make him believe otherwise, he wouldn’t pursue the subject.
“Your involvement with me could create a messier problem for you too.”
He sighed forcefully as he studied her closer. Up until now, he’d worked hard to avoid even a meager glance at her but the draw was too strong. He could feel his lips pressed on hers. The taste of her sweet, intoxicating tang lingered.
The shades were drawn, keeping the room dark with a trancelike mistiness. Flames danced from the fireplace and cast a soft, enchanted glow around her, haloing her mussed tresses.
She’d relaxed in an old-fashioned rocker, dressed in an oversized flannel shirt, laptop opened, resting on the arm. The scene created an enticing setting. The alluring vision along with the knowledge of how her body felt had him all but sprinting to her.
Jack gave his follicles an extra tug as he sifted his fingers through his hair. “I have serious trust issues. My problem, I know, still it’d be a huge disaster to get romantically involved.”
She lifted her eyes and gazed straight at him. “So why did you? How come you kissed me if you’re in such a bad place?”
He shook his head.
“You’ve been adamant about not getting close to a woman, yet you did it anyway.”
He pursed his lips and blew out a stream of air. How would he answer her without making things worse? The truth wouldn’t work, but it’s all he had. Yeah, he’d be a jerk, but at least he was an honest one. Hands withdrawn from his pockets, he lifted his shoulders and held his arms out to his sides. “No clue.”
“You don’t know?”
He dropped his hands and stared. For a moment, he forgot they were on the verge of a major blow up, or at least she was. Her taut, slender body reminded him of a graceful cat. Bare legs—lengthy, well-formed, toned legs he shouldn’t look at, but couldn’t help staring—were tucked underneath her. His gut heaved a massive, alarming jolt.
He gulped. The little room overheated. Women didn’t make him nervous, and he’d never been at a loss for something to say, but the sight of her and, those shapely limbs blacked out any concept of common sense. The tiny section in his mind where he stored bad ideas and even worse choices prodded him unmercifully.
Get the girl out of your head. Not the time or place. Ever.
“I was with you because I got caught up in the moment.”
Her brows rose.
“Rotten excuse. I’m a man and you’re a woman. You looked beautiful, all messy, and sexy. You smelled like rain, and you were touching me. I lost it.” Images saturated his thoughts. He shook his head to get rid of the memories. “I screwed up, and now we’re dealing with the fallout of my mistake. Can’t I just say I’m sorry and move on? Must this be so fucking complicated?”
“The situation became complicated the second you pushed me away.”
He held up his forefinger. “You can’t tell me you’ve never lost control in the heat of the moment, and then realized the behavior unwise. You even indicated you were glad I stopped us. This situation is a perfect example.”
“It is,” she agreed in a small voice.
“Why take things so personal. It’s not about you. My circumstances have left a huge hole in the pit of my stomach and while I hope to recover,” he lifted and released both shoulders, “I haven’t.”
She straightened and dropped a foot to the floor and pushed the rocker with her toes.
“So are we okay? Am I forgiven?”
She stopped rocking, biting her bottom lip as if to consider his request. “We’ll put the incident behind us. Chalk it up to bad decisions on both our parts.”
“Thank you.” Relief swept throughout him. He may make through the next couple of days after all.
“Except…” Katie leaned against the chairs side, arms crossed over her chest. “You’re letting a single incident mar your judgment. Not every woman is so cruel.”
She couldn’t just let things go. He eyed her outstretched limb, his gaze glided downward to her purple socked foot. The insides of his mouth dried, like the Sahara. He wanted to be done talking about—anything. “This wasn’t the first time I’ve been let down. Jenna was the last of many. I can start at the beginning, to my mother and her lack of maternal instincts.”
“She was that bad? Jenna?”
Jack cleared his throat and spoke in a jaded tone. “She made sure every local media outlet aware we had an intimate relationship while she was a client. She claimed I seduced her, and insinuated the correlation jeopardized my ability to represent her in a competent manner.” He re-jammed his hands into his pockets and swore softly. He hated discussing the subject, but if he must to ease her irritation, he would. “Bad enough she declared I used sex as additional payment, then to insinuate I didn’t act professional, or in her best interest was a knee to the groin accusation. What occurred between us was consensual, and I made no demands, implications, or promises. And she’s ruined me.”
“You’re saying it’s okay?” She shifted in her chair and frowned. “For an attorney to sleep with their client?”
Not the first time someone asked him this question, but explaining to her was more difficult. He heaved a long, raspy breath. “Lawyers are one of the few professions where intimacy with cliental isn’t taboo-or illegal. Though sexual involvement is discouraged in most practices and the ethics of doing so is debatable.”
Toes bent, she pushed the rocker back and forth, an ancient squeak the only sound between them for several seconds. “What you’re saying is this behavior isn’t unusual in your line of work?”
“I can’t speak for others.” His voice rang hoarse in his ears. “This was a first for me. I’d never gotten involved with a client before.”
She stopped rocking and looked him up and down.
His eyes n
arrowed. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
Katie smiled as she closed her laptop and sat the pc onto the floor next to her. “Of course I do.” Her mouth opened, like she was going to add something, but changed her mind.
“Go ahead.”
Her gaze connected with his. “Didn’t you stop to wonder if being with this woman was a bad idea? That perhaps you shouldn’t.”
“Hell yeah.” He fidgeted. “No question. I knew this could all blow up and bite me in the ass.” Easing backward to the couch, Jack lowered onto the cushion. “And yes, I thought of walking away more than once.”
“So why didn’t you? I mean, you’re not some hormonal teenager. As an attorney, self-control should be a natural part of your persona.”
“Should have, but did not happen. I get to be a double dumbass on this one, hence my reasoning for not getting involved with anyone at the moment.”
“Was there a lesson buried in the experience?”
“Ancient saying, we never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public therefore, I guess I learned that I’m not too old to do something stupid.” He snuffed a laugh. “I found out I still don’t always think with my brain, although I’m making a conscious effort to do so now. She apparently wasn’t using her mind either. Her focus seemed to be on my bank account, which she assumed was a lot bigger than it actually was, and stiffing my company.” Then he shook his head and mumbled, “I can’t believe she took everything this far.”
“Women are emotional creatures, Jack. Hell hath no fury as they say. Perhaps she developed actual feelings for you, and she became ticked off over your lack of commitment. Maybe she thought the relationship was more than sex.”
“Doubtful.”
Katie stared at him sharply. Her look of reproach grabbed him and squeezed his gut. The woman lived in a romance novel where she believed in fairies and Santa. A pleasant, peachy perspective.