‘I know,’ he said.
‘She must have been watching the house,’ said Hannah. ‘She must have followed me to the subway.’
‘I suppose so,’ said Adam.
‘You haven’t been back there, have you? To the house?’
Adam shook his head. ‘As I said, I’ve been sleeping here. And Sydney’s been at Kiyanna’s.’
Hannah nodded and sat clutching the arms of her wheelchair, staring out into the night descending on the Philadelphia skyline. ‘You can’t go back there.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘To the house. You have to avoid the house.’ She glanced over at Sydney, who was lying on her back, enjoying the show on her screen. For a moment her gaze softened. Then, she pressed her lips together in a determined line. ‘I’ve been thinking, ever since I saw that surveillance tape.’
‘Thinking what?’ he asked warily.
‘My being in the hospital. This is an opportunity.’
‘An opportunity for what?’ he asked.
Hannah reached over and grasped his hand. She looked at him earnestly. ‘Adam, Lisa doesn’t know how my recovery is going. She knows I’m here, obviously. She put me here. And it’s been on the news. All she has to do is call the hospital to check on my condition. They wouldn’t let her speak to me, of course, but they would tell her that I’m still here. They might tell her my condition but that’s it.’
‘So …?’ he said.
‘So, she knows that I am still in the hospital.’
‘Well, it’s not like she’s worried about you.’ He punched his fist into his palm. ‘Honest to God, Hannah. I wish I could wring her neck.’
‘But you wouldn’t,’ Hannah said flatly. ‘You wouldn’t.’
‘Probably not,’ he admitted. ‘Though I almost wish I could. How could she do such a thing? Push you onto the subway tracks? You loved her. You were a wonderful mother to her. OK, I understand that she must hate us for taking Sydney. But she knows why we did it. She brought it on herself. We had to try to protect Sydney from her.’
‘Oh, I’m sure she hates us for that,’ said Hannah.
‘Yes. Because she didn’t think there was anything wrong with her plans to offer her toddler to the biggest pervert she could find. What kind of a monster did we raise, anyway? It makes me feel so … helpless, knowing how ruthless she is. Knowing that she just doesn’t care. I keep asking myself, why didn’t I see it? How could I not have known this about her, somewhere along the line? She lived with us all her life, and we didn’t know her at all. Not anything about her. Now I can’t even remember what I used to love about her.’
‘I can,’ said Hannah, with a sigh.
Adam wiped his eyes. ‘I know,’ he said. ‘That’s what’s so crazy about it. I suppose I do too.’
‘We can’t think about that now,’ said Hannah. ‘We have to decide what to do next. I’ve spent the afternoon thinking about it.’
Adam reached up and laid his palm against the bandages wrapped around her head. ‘Are you supposed to be thinking?’ he said, smiling slightly.
‘Probably not,’ she said, ‘but there’s no stopping me.’
‘OK. What have you been scheming?’
‘First of all, I know you’re not going to like this …’
Adam frowned at her.
‘Just hear me out. As I said, this is our opportunity. And, in a way, nothing has changed. The only thing that really matters is Sydney. And this is our chance.’
‘To do what?’ he said wearily.
‘You know the bags I packed? And put in the attic? Now they will come in handy. We’ll ask someone to go in and get them. You can’t go in there, or she might see you. And follow you. So we’ll have somebody get the bags and bring them to wherever you are.’
‘Wherever I am?’ he asked skeptically.
‘So then you’ll have what you need,’ she said.
‘For what?’
Hannah looked at him with an unflinching gaze. ‘To start over. You and Sydney have to leave.’
‘Leave? What? Leave Philly?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Leave Philly.’
‘You mean leave you here all alone? Oh, Hannah. Don’t be stupid.’
Hannah leaned forward in her wheelchair so that her face was close to his. ‘Adam, listen to me. She knows you. She knows that you would never leave me alone while I was in the hospital. That’s why this is a golden opportunity. She won’t be expecting it. She’s probably planning her next move for when I get home, when we are all back in the West Philly apartment. So we have to seize this opportunity. You have to take Sydney and get far away from here.’
‘Do you hear yourself?’ he said, shaking his head. ‘She’s already proved that she would do anything to hurt you. You think I’m going to leave you behind?’
Hannah reached out and wrapped her cold fingers around his wrist. ‘I mean it, Adam. I’m not being hysterical. I’ve never felt more certain of what to do. Whatever happens with Lisa, I can face it. But Sydney deserves the best protection we can give her. There’s only one way to ensure that.’
‘What you’re proposing is suicidal,’ he said grimly.
‘Please try and understand,’ she continued. ‘At some level I don’t care anymore. My child, my own flesh and blood, tried to kill me. I don’t know if it’s possible to feel lower than I do today. Depressed doesn’t even begin to describe it.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘It’s devastating. But you can’t give up like this. We’ll figure out a way to do this together.’
‘Adam, this is the only way. We have this brief window of opportunity, when you two can flee from here and she won’t be expecting it. She won’t be looking for you. I’ll still be in here for several days, and she’ll expect you to stay by my side. She may not have any love or loyalty herself but she knows that you do. That’s exactly why you have to leave now.’
‘It’s out of the question,’ said Adam, shaking his head.
‘Darling,’ Hannah said in a low, urgent voice, ‘this isn’t how we planned our life. But this is the life we have. We created Lisa. We raised her, and somehow … she’s amoral. She has no inner … conscience. No … sense of right and wrong. Nothing anybody says about psychopaths being born and not made will make me feel one bit better about this. She is out there in the world, free to harm anyone she wants to. It’s hard to describe how much I feel like a failure.’
‘That’s not fair,’ he said. ‘We tried everything. We had a happy home. She never wanted for anything. We cheered her on, no matter what she wanted to do. You were the best mother in the world. Always on her side. Always thinking of ways to make her life happy. You can’t blame yourself.’
‘But I do,’ she said. ‘At the end of the day, I do feel responsible.’
‘Well, so do I,’ he said. ‘But we can’t change what’s already done. In spite of all our best efforts, this is the result. And we can’t do a thing to change it.’
‘No, we can’t. But we can be sure that Sydney doesn’t pay the price. For Lisa’s … insanity. For our blindness to it. No matter what it costs. So you have to take her far from here, now, when Lisa’s not expecting you to leave.’
‘And leave you at her mercy?’
‘I’m ready for that,’ said Hannah. ‘This is my fate. I will face it.’
‘Don’t talk like that. It’s crazy,’ he insisted.
‘I mean it,’ she said. ‘You know I do.’
He met her gaze apprehensively.
‘Adam, I can’t make up for what Lisa has done. I think she killed Troy Petty and then slandered him in court. And I actually approved of that. It makes me sick to think about it. I can’t right that wrong, though I feel it so keenly. His poor family.’ Hannah shook her head. ‘I’m her mother. I have a lot to answer for.’
‘She’s the one who has to answer for it,’ Adam insisted. ‘We did what any parents would do.’
‘Maybe. I’ll never know. The only good thing that I can still do is to guard
Sydney. Make sure she’s all right. And you are the only one I trust to protect her. You have to do this. For me. Take her and go. Don’t look back.’
‘And what are you going to do?’ he cried.
‘I’ll … recuperate,’ she said. ‘And when I’m ready, I’ll go home.’
‘Are you kidding? Home? You’ll be a sitting duck. You think I’m just going to leave you there, for her to come after? To finish the job?’
‘I’ll figure out a way to protect myself. Or I won’t. In a way, it doesn’t even matter anymore. My only child tried to kill me. I don’t even want to get up each day and think about that. But you have to keep Sydney away from her. No matter what. You just have to go.’
‘I won’t,’ he said. Tears stood in his eyes. ‘I won’t leave you.’
‘You haven’t got any choice,’ she said sadly. She entwined her fingers with his. ‘We haven’t got any choice.’
THIRTY
‘Time to go back to your room,’ said the nurse, releasing the brake on Hannah’s wheelchair and interrupting her urgent tête-à-tête with Adam. ‘They’re bringing your dinner.’
Hannah looked up guiltily. ‘Just give me two minutes,’ she said.
The nurse frowned but nodded. ‘I’ll be back in exactly two minutes.’
Hannah gave her the OK sign, and the nurse went back out into the corridor.
‘Two minutes?’ Adam cried. ‘Are you kidding? We can’t. I’m not ready.’
Hannah looked over at Sydney, and her lip trembled. But she did not allow herself to weep. ‘Sweetheart,’ she called out, ‘you have to go with Pop now. Pop will get you some dinner.’ Hannah touched the bandages on her head and forced herself to smile. ‘I have to stay here until I’m better. Doctor’s orders. You go on now.’
Sydney rushed to Hannah and tried to embrace her. Hannah reached for her, and hugged her back as fiercely as the pain would allow.
Then she turned to Adam. She entwined her fingers with his again and gripped them with all her might. ‘You are the one person in my whole life who I could always trust, no matter what. You still are.’
They stared into one another’s eyes. Confusion and desperation were mingled in his intense gaze. For a moment Hannah thought he might refuse. For a moment, she wanted him to. Then he nodded. ‘You can count on me,’ he said.
‘I never doubted it,’ she said. ‘Goodbye, my darling. Keep our girl safe.’
Adam hugged her as if he would crush her. Hannah held on to him for a desperate minute, and then pulled away from his embrace.
She gazed at him resolutely. ‘I love you both. Forever.’
He nodded, and forced himself to stand up. ‘Come on, Sydney,’ he said, extending his hand to his granddaughter. ‘Come with Pop.’
After they left, the nurse came, and wheeled Hannah back to her room. She helped her into bed, and Hannah collapsed onto the scratchy sheets. A short time later, an orderly came in with her dinner, and put the tray on the rolling table. Hannah looked at the food, and felt her stomach contract. She shook her head.
‘I can’t,’ she said. ‘Please, take it away.’
The orderly obeyed without comment. Hannah lay back and stared at her own reflection in the dark window of her room. Was this the best thing to do? They couldn’t just wait for Lisa to come and take Sydney away with her. Their choices were few. Where would they go, she wondered, thinking of Adam and Sydney, driving through the dark night? Would she ever see them again? she wondered. Or was that their last goodbye?
Tears began to trickle down her face but she wiped them away angrily.
No, she thought. This is your punishment. You deserve this. You should have realized, somewhere along the line, that your daughter lacked humanity. You should have acknowledged it and sought help, instead of making excuses for Lisa. She berated herself for a while, and then she stopped. She knew that she still had a job to do at this end. This was her plan, and she had to try her best to make it work. She reached over to the bedside table for her phone, grimacing at the pain it cost her to twist her body to one side. She groped for the phone and found it.
It took her a moment to catch her breath. Then she dialed the number of Restoration House and let it ring. Father Luke answered shortly.
‘Father Luke,’ she exclaimed with sincere relief. ‘I’m so glad I caught you.’
‘Anna, is that you?’ he asked.
Hannah nodded. ‘Yes. I’m … still in the hospital.’
‘Well, I’m not surprised,’ said the priest, ‘given the shape you were in.’
‘I’d like to talk to you,’ she said. ‘I was wondering if you could come by the hospital tomorrow.’
‘Of course, dear,’ he said. ‘With pleasure.’
‘And, if possible, could you bring Spencer?’
‘Spencer? My … Mr White?’
‘Yes,’ said Hannah. She could hear the surprise in Father Luke’s voice. Hannah had only met Spencer White, the black accountant with whom Father Luke lived, a time or two, notably at the birthday party which Spencer had hosted for his life partner. ‘I have a good reason.’
‘Well,’ said Father Luke slowly, ‘I will certainly ask him.’
‘Thanks,’ said Hannah. ‘Please tell him it’s important.’
‘I’ll do that,’ said the priest.
‘And, if you could …’
‘What?’ he asked.
‘Could you get a message to Kiyanna and Frank?’
‘I can call them, sure. They already left a few hours ago.’
‘Tell them …’ Hannah hesitated. ‘Tell them that Syd— Cindy is fine for tonight. They shouldn’t worry. Cindy won’t be coming over. She and Alan are staying here at the hospital.’
‘I’ll tell them. Is there anything else?’
‘No,’ said Hannah. ‘Nothing else.’
‘All right, then,’ said Father Luke. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow,’ Hannah repeated. ‘And thank you, Father.’
‘Try not to worry,’ he said. ‘I’ll pray for you.’
Hannah ended the call, and thought about what the former priest had said. She did not think much about praying, though she often thanked God for her blessings. And she had certainly asked for strength from time to time.
Maybe it would help, she thought. Nothing could feel worse than the agony she felt in her heart right now. She decided to pray for help to face her ordeal and, as she did, she fell almost instantly asleep.
Someone was shaking her awake. Hannah opened her eyes and looked around groggily. Then she suddenly remembered where she was. She remembered that Adam and Sydney were gone, and she remembered all that she was facing. Dark thoughts crowded inside her head. Outside of the windows, the day seemed to be just breaking. She turned over gingerly in her bed, wincing at the pain and stiffness after spending the night fast asleep in one position.
A nurse, pale with dark circles under her eyes, leaned over her. ‘You have a visitor,’ she said.
‘It’s not visiting hours,’ Hannah protested.
‘It’s the Father. He comes and goes whenever,’ said the nurse.
Father Luke, Hannah thought. ‘Oh. Yes,’ she said. ‘OK. I asked him to come. Tell him to come in.’
The nurse nodded and padded out of the room. In a few minutes the door opened, and Father Luke entered, followed by Spencer White. Father Luke was a quick, wiry man with white hair and impish eyes. Spencer was large and dignified, with mocha-colored skin and close-cropped hair. He wore black horn-rimmed glasses, and a conservative brown suit with a tan shirt and a geometric patterned tie.
The two men crossed the room and stood beside her bed. Father Luke grasped her hand and smiled at her. ‘Sorry to be so early. Spencer has an audit to prepare for in Media today. We thought we better stop by here early, before he has to get underway.’
‘Thank you for coming,’ said Hannah. ‘Both of you.’
Father Luke waved off her thanks. ‘I’m curious as to why you wanted to see Spencer.
’
Hannah looked from Father Luke to Spencer, who was watching her cautiously, uncertain what sort of request to expect. Hannah took a deep breath. ‘This has to be in the strictest confidence.’
‘Of course,’ said Father Luke.
Spencer nodded.
‘I found out yesterday,’ said Hannah, ‘that what happened to me was not … random. My life – our lives, are in danger. I can’t tell you more than that.’
‘Did you tell the police?’ asked Father Luke, shocked by this news.
Hannah looked at him helplessly. ‘I can’t. I have my reasons.’
‘Anna, this situation has gotten out of hand.’
‘I know that, Father. That’s why I called you.’
Father Luke nodded. ‘Well, what can we do? Does Alan know about this? Because if he doesn’t, you should certainly confide in him.’
‘Alan and Cindy have gone. They left with just the clothes on their backs.’
‘They left what? The hospital?’
‘The hospital. Philly. The state. They’re headed west.’
‘They left you here all alone?’
‘I insisted,’ said Hannah firmly. ‘I’m not looking for sympathy. This was what I wanted. It was my idea. They are not safe here. They had to go. The thing is, we have our bags all packed and in the attic of Mamie Revere’s house, where our apartment was. But the house is … probably being watched.’
Spencer’s face wore an expression of distaste. Father Luke’s was all compassion. ‘Oh, Anna, this is terrible.’
Hannah felt unnerved by his concern. She did her best to remain resolute. ‘That’s why I need your help. I need you to get the bags for us. And to get them to Alan. When they find a place to stay, you can send them.’
‘Of course. I can do that,’ said Father Luke.
‘Actually,’ said Hannah, turning her gaze to the well-dressed black man, ‘I want Spencer to do it.’
Spencer started. ‘Why me?’ he asked, recoiling from the suggestion.
Hannah hesitated. She did not want her idea to sound insulting. It was just a practical reality. Spencer was black and would blend in. It would appear normal for him to enter the house. Father Luke, on the other hand, might cause a blip on the radar. ‘Whoever is … watching us, thinks that my husband and my … child are staying here at the hospital, with me. I don’t want anyone, especially not this person in question, to know that Alan and Cindy are trying to get far away. The more time I can buy for them, the better. The thing is … the person watching us probably already knows about Father Luke and Restoration House. If Father Luke goes in and comes out with baggage, the person I’m worried about might be alerted. Might put two and two together. Probably would. But if Spencer went in … It would appear natural. Mamie’s in the hospital. Someone from her family might well show up there to pick up some of her things for her and bring them to her at the nursing home.’
I See You Page 24