by Sandy James
* * *
Drake shook hands with Ty and then with Caleb. “Thank you both.” He shifted his gaze to Kayla’s house. “We made some really good progress today.”
“You won’t be needin’ us now,” Caleb said. “You can work out here whenever you want, and to hell with the snow.”
Glancing back to the house, Drake realized Caleb was right. The house now sported a roof and enough exterior walls to protect him from most of the elements. Windows would come later, but for now, tarps would serve.
Ty nodded at the rapidly setting sun. “Cassie’s gonna be worried if I ain’t home soon.”
“Sara will be the same,” Caleb said. “We need to be goin’.” He grinned at something over Drake’s shoulder. “Looks like your woman is comin’ to check up on you.”
“My woman?” Turning, Drake saw Kayla hurrying toward them. Puffs of white clouds rose from her face as she breathed, and she bore one of the intense frowns she always got when something was bothering her. He thought about telling Caleb and Ty that Kayla wasn’t his woman, but the denial never came. Probably because he wished so much that she really were his woman.
The word “mine” slammed into his brain every time he saw her, and more and more, he tried to think of some plan that would find the two of them together. Just like Ty and Cassie or like Caleb and Sara.
“Drake,” she said as she marched closer. “I would really like to speak to you.” Her gaze fell on the other men. “In private.”
“We’re were just leavin’,” Ty said with a smirk on his lips. “C’mon, Caleb. Time to head for home.”
She offered both men a smile, but not a genuine smile. “Thank you so very much for helping with my home.”
Both men nodded and touched the brims of their hats as they passed her.
Waiting only a few moments for them to retreat, Drake frowned. “What’s wrong, Kayla?”
“Everything.” With no warning, she burst into tears. “Gideon and Drew don’t need me anymore.” She started wringing her hands. “They’ve replaced me.”
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, feeling entirely inadequate. Not only was he unaccustomed to women, he was at a loss on what to do with one who was crying. “Tell me what happened.”
She turned to rest her forehead against his chest. “I told you. They have replaced me.”
“Nonsense.”
Her chin rose, then she nodded. “They have! Drew has brought a young woman named Brigit to be their new housekeeper.”
While that announcement came as a bit of a surprise, he didn’t understand why she was upset. “You are gonna have your own house. You won’t have time to keep theirs.”
She shoved herself away and shot him a piercing glare. “You agree with them?”
“What?”
“You just said you agreed with them, that you are fine with them replacing me!”
“I didn’t say anything of the sort.”
Although Kayla knew she wasn’t making any sense, she couldn’t stop the angry tears. Why couldn’t Drake see that all she wanted him to do was take her into his arms, hug her, and tell her that everything would be all right?
Except it wouldn’t. Brigit was here now, ready to take over—ready to be a good friend to Drew and a caretaker to Gideon.
They don’t need me anymore.
No one needs me.
Whirling away from Drake, she looked at her home, the one she’d wanted so desperately that now only represented loss. What had she been thinking?
The truth settled on her like an impossible weight.
I’m alone. I’ve always been alone, and I’ll always be alone.
With a shake of her head, she covered her face with her hands, feeling like hiding from the world. The house had been a wish, a dream, to have something just for herself. Something that was hers and hers alone. Because she’d been preparing for when Drew and Gideon would inevitably decide that they no longer needed her. And in getting that place to land, she’d brought about exactly what she’d feared.
She had a house.
But she didn’t have a home.
Drake gently pulled her hands away from her face. “What’s wrong?”
The concern on his face was enough to force another sob to bubble out, and she threw herself against him. In her whole life, she’d never needed anyone else. Ever.
She’d been the one who handled the household money when it had been so scarce. She’d been the strength when her father had been lost in drink. She’d dealt with the lawyers and the bankers when her father had struck it rich. No, Kayla had never needed anyone.
But she needed Drake now. She needed his arms around her. She needed his comfort.
She needed, if just for that one moment, to be his.
Once the self-pity passed, Kayla pulled away and swiped her hand across the few tears that had wet her cheeks, cheeks which were now aching with cold. “I’m sorry to have burdened you.”
He brushed his lips against her forehead. “No burden, darlin’.”
His nearness was suddenly too much, and she hated her own weakness. “I need to tend to my chores.”
When she turned on her heel, Drake grabbed her arm. “Wait. I’ll help you.”
She considered refusing him, but then she realized he’d have his way. She gave him a curt nod. As she walked toward the barn, he fell in step beside her.
“Can you tell me what upset you now?” he asked.
“I fear it is… hard to explain.”
“Try,” he coaxed.
Introspection had never been her strong suit, but she probed her own thoughts and tried her best to explain her tumbling emotions. “My whole life, I have felt…alone. I’ve felt as though I had no true ally.”
“What about your father?”
“Papa tried. But…it seemed as though he needed his spirits more than he needed me.” Once the words were out of her mouth, Kayla wished desperately to take them back. What kind of impression was she giving Drake of her father? Papa had done his best. He simply wasn’t equipped to handle a young, headstrong daughter without a wife at his side. So he’d drowned his frustration and loneliness in drink, and Kayla had been the one to deal with the ramifications.
“No brothers or sisters?”
She shook her head.
“Friends?”
“None that I can recall.” Her father had been so busy with his tinkering and drinking that they seldom left their home—whatever place they called home. Before he’d earned his fortune, they’d often moved from hovel to hovel as her father tried to dodge overdue bill collectors. After his patents, the money came rolling in, but then Papa had been trying to escape people who seemed to always have their hands out in want or need.
At the door to the barn, Drake snaked his hand around her arm again and dragged her to a halt. “Can you answer me one question?”
She gave him a crooked smile in response to the irony. “It would seem as if I have been answering many questions. There can be no harm in one more.”
He inclined his head toward the house he was building for her. “Why?”
One word, but she understood exactly what he wanted to know since it was the same thing she had been worried about from the moment Drew had introduced Brigit and she realized she’d been replaced. “I wanted a home. A real home. One that no one could ever take away from me. I suppose I’d never considered that in getting my own house, I might be losing the only home I’ve ever truly known.”
“You mean Drew and Gideon, right? You feel at home with them.”
“I do.”
“And you think they’ve kicked you out now that they brought Brigit here.”
To hear her fears stated so boldly made tears brim her eyes. She was being ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
With a shake of her head, she busied her hands by grabbing a brush and going into the stall with Champion, Drew’s horse. Always gentle, the gelding simply gave its body a quick shake and then leaned the weight off one of its hind hoov
es to relax. Starting at his neck, she brushed the dust from Champion’s thick winter coat.
Drake started grabbing flakes of hay and tossing them into the horses’ stalls. “They’re not replacing you, Kayla.”
She let out a deep sigh and leaned her shoulder against Champion. “I am aware of that. I truly am. It’s just…”
Stopping at Champion’s stall door, Drake shook his head. “They’re not replacing you.”
All she did was sigh again.
“You’re afraid, but you shouldn’t be. Drew and Gideon love you.”
“I would like to believe that.”
“They do.” Brigit’s voice was loud and firm as it echoed through the barn. “And I’m nae here to replace ye.”
Cheeks heating with embarrassment, Kayla put the brush aside and went to where Brigit now stood next to Drake. “I am sorry if I offended you, Brigit.”
Brigit waved that thought away with a flick of her wrist. “The truth of the matter is that I begged them to bring me.”
“Why?”
“Why don’t we set about making some food and I’ll tell ye the sordid tale.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kayla was both pleased and a bit intimidated with how well Brigit knew her way around a kitchen. While Brigit had been very vocal about not being here as a replacement, she was clearly a better cook. Her movements reminded Kayla of a beautifully choreographed dance.
“Will ye hand me the eggs, dearie?” Brigit pointed at the bowl of brown eggs sitting on the side table.
“Dearie?” Kayla chuckled. “My aunt used to call me that. I dare say I’m a few years older than you. I should be the one calling you ‘dearie’.”
“’Tis a habit I adopted from me mother. Take it as a compliment.” Brigit cracked the egg with one hand and tossed the shells in the big bowl of scraps that would go to the pigs.
“Stinky and Pinky won’t eat the shells,” Kayla pointed out.
“Beg pardon?” There was laughter in Brigit’s question.
“The pigs. The male is Stinky; the female Pinky. They will root through the scraps and push aside the shells. They are a bit…particular.”
“Well, then…” Brigit plucked them from the bowl and put them with the refuse. “I shan’t offend Stinky and Pinky on me first day here.”
Kayla hadn’t pressed Brigit to talk any more about why she’d come to White Pines. But after hearing there was a “sordid tale” involved, she couldn’t help but be curious. “Why would you wish to leave Missoula?”
“Been bustin’ at yer seams to ask me that, have ye now?” Brigit winked.
The teasing eased much of Kayla’s worry. It seemed as though Brigit enjoyed humor as much as Kayla did. No wonder Drew and Gideon wanted her around their home. She would be a wonderfully entertaining addition to the household. “I have,” Kayla replied. “You did pique my curiosity.”
With a sigh, Brigit picked up a wooden spoon and began to stir the mixture she’d put in the ceramic bowl. “I suppose I did. The truth of the matter is that I couldnae stay working for Mrs. Pearson, and Master Drew tossed me a bone by bringin’ me here. I couldn’t stay or I’d be in a bad hurt.”
Having heard many stories of how badly domestic help was often treated, Kayla couldn’t believe a woman who had raised a man as caring and kind as Drew would ever be cruel to her servants. “How long did you work for her?”
“Near ta five years. Was only seventeen when me brothers brought me to the territory. They had jobs waitin’ here, and I didnae like New York. I’m a quick study and knew I could find work.”
Kayla nodded in understanding. “I also used to live in New York. Now that I’ve spent a great deal of time in Montana, I have come to realize that I prefer the mountains to cities.”
“Oh, aye. The air doesnae choke me here, and there is so much…room. I was pleased nae to have to leave.”
“What did Mrs. Pearson do to you?” Kayla asked, unable to rein in her interest. “Please pardon my inquisitiveness.”
“’Tis fine to ask. I would be curious as well. ’Twas not Mrs. Pearson who offended me. ’Twas her son, her third son. Master Ashton.”
“Drew’s brother?”
“Aye. He seemed to think he had certain…liberties with me ’cause I was his mam’s maid.”
Men could be such pigs. Kayla hurt for what Brigit might’ve endured. “Did he… um…”
Brigit shook her head. “But ’twas heading that direction, if ye get my drift. I didnae wish to toss my skirts up for the man, but he saw it as his due.” She stirred a bit more vigorously. “I gave him his due.”
“Meaning?”
“I gave him my knee to his… privates.”
The image made Kayla smile despite the horrible topic. “Of that, you should be proud.”
“Aye, but Mrs. Pearson didnae believe me when I tried to tell her. She never saw no wrong in her boys. So when Master Drew and Master Gideon arrived after Master Aaron’s death, I begged them to find me new employ, somewhere out of the Pearson reach.”
The Person reach. This, Kayla understood, because she’d been running from the Carrington reach for what now seemed like forever. “It would seem that White Pines is a safe haven for us both.”
Brigit cocked an eyebrow. “Were ye running, dearie?”
“I was.”
“And…?”
“And I shall share my own sordid tale. I promise.” Kayla glanced around at the food they were preparing. “But for now, we shall feed these hungry men. For the good Lord knows they would never be able to feed themselves.”
“Aye to that!”
* * *
Kayla eased the door open, hoping there wouldn’t be a telltale squeak to alert anyone that she was slipping out of the house. Wouldn’t have mattered anyway. She couldn’t have stopped herself even if she’d tried. It wasn’t as though she’d put up even a perfunctory mental battle. She wanted Drake—needed Drake, and she would go to him. Consequences be damned.
The wind caught the door, almost ripping it from her hand. Thankfully, she was able to hold tight, but it took strength to pull it closed. Snow whipped around her ankles, forming white tornados that would have seemed pretty were she not so cold. She pulled her scarf a little tighter around her mouth and ventured toward the barn.
Drake met her halfway, catching her in his arms to halt her journey. “Oh no, you don’t. Saw you slippin’ out. Back to the house with you!”
“I was coming to see you.”
“That makes me happy, but it’s too damned cold out here for you.”
“Then it is too cold for you as well.” Pushing back, she took his hand. “Come inside with me.”
He shook his head. “Can’t do that. We ain’t alone now.”
“I simply do not care what everyone thinks,” Kayla admitted. “I wish to be with you tonight.” I wish to be with you every night.
“Since I can’t understand a damn thing you’re saying under that scarf, let’s get you back in the house.”
Planting her feet, she pushed her scarf down below her mouth. “I said that I wish to be with you. I am sure the barn is sufficiently warm for the both of us.”
When he shook his head again, she stamped her foot, immediately contrite for the action since it stung her toes. “I shall stand here all night if I have—”
Drake swept her into his arms and started marching toward the barn. “Stubborn woman,” he muttered several times on the way there.
Since she’d been called worse, she simply laughed.
When he reached the door, he set her on her feet, jerked it open, and all but pushed her inside. He had to lean his shoulder against the door to shut it again, still muttering to himself about what he clearly saw as her greatest character flaw.
Kayla sighed in resignation. She might be stubborn, but at least she’d gotten her way.
“C’mon,” he said, taking her hand and leading toward a ladder. “Got the stove goin’, but we’re gonna have to share our heat.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
She loved how his eyes brightened and a smile bowed his mouth. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” she drawled. Despite the heat that suddenly flushed her cold cheeks, she nodded. “And perhaps we can best share that heat with fewer…obstacles.”
“Such as?”
“Why, clothing of course!”
“Kayla… All I got’s a straw mattress and a stove that ain’t the warmest thing in—”
She stopped him by rising on tiptoes and brushing a kiss over his lips. “I am with you. I shall be quite warm.”
Drake followed her up the ladder, arms on either side of her legs as though to protect her from falling. His tender care was always something that touched her heart. Her rough-and-tumble cowboy had a softer side, something she was sure few people had ever seen.
The loft was much tidier than she remembered. Of course, the only times she’d seen it was when he’d been lost in the bottle. Back then, he’d taken little care with any of his things. Even less care of himself. Now, the loft was organized and quite homey.
His clothes hung from hooks along the far wall, and the window had been covered with thick tarps. Although it seemed to breathe in and out with the wind, it held fast to protect them from the elements. The small stove was vented through the ceiling, and Drake had pulled his mattress close enough for warmth but far enough to resist catching fire. A pile of chopped wood rested within arm’s length so that he could grab a log, open the stove door, and toss it in without rising from his makeshift bed.
Before she could tell him how his tidiness and organization pleased her, he was there. Between sweet kisses, he helped her remove her scarf, gloves, and coat. Then he gathered her in his arms and gave her a proper kiss, one she returned with all the love she felt for him.
Love. Oh yes, she loved him. Mind, body, and even soul deep. Such a foolish thing to do, but she couldn’t stop herself from loving him, from needing him.
His fingers fumbled with the buttons of her bodice as hers struggled to get his coat open. When she realized how funny the predicament was, she let out a laugh, one mimicked by Drake. She took a step back and began to remove her clothes, keeping an eye on him as he did the same. They quickly found themselves staring at each other—and shivering—in their undergarments.