by Cydney Rax
She heard knocking at her door. She fumbled around in the dark until she found her pillow. She pressed it against her chest and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Elyse? Elyse?”
It was Nate. She didn’t reply. Her hands covered both her ears. She quietly hummed and drowned out the sound of her name, dismissing everything except the sound of her own voice. After she stopped humming, she was glad Nate wasn’t calling her anymore. She just wanted everybody to leave her alone. Forget about her and allow her to exist in peace. She wanted to stay undisturbed until she blissfully fell asleep.
CHAPTER 6
Wifey
Coco spent the week focused on Calhoun, frequently reminding him of his responsibilities to her and their kids.
Even though they lived together, his driver’s license listed his mother’s address. Her name was Henrietta Humphries, and she was always in her son’s business. Henrietta would ask him if he was spending the night at “home.” And he’d tell his mother “yes,” but seventy-five percent of the time, at Coco’s insistence, he would sleep over at the big house.
Later that week on Wednesday, Coco reached Calhoun by cell phone. “You coming straight home right after work?” she asked.
She knew he was in his company truck delivering cases of soda to various stores around the Houston area. Calhoun assured Coco that he’d come directly home and help her with the kids, no problem. Satisfied with his answer, Coco ended the call and began to do one of the things she loved the most: season and fry some chicken, whip up a bowl of mashed potatoes, and cook her family a pot of mustard and turnip greens. She cooked her butt off, and when she was done, she sat down and waited on Calhoun. Forty minutes after he completed his shift, Calhoun breezed through the doorway.
“’Bout time you got home.”
“Don’t give me that attitude, Coco, you know how it is out here.”
“No, I don’t. Especially when I can’t get you on the phone so I can ask you what’s happening.”
Calhoun gave her a disapproving look. “Work. Damn. Do I need to explain to you everything I’m doing all day long, from the time I punch in till the time I punch out?”
“Yeah, you do. I’m your real boss,” she said, partially teasing him.
Coco gave him a huge, silly grin that made him crack a smile. Then she dutifully honored him with a passionate kiss and made him go sit down at their wobbly dinner table.
She watched him devour his food; she could barely eat anything herself while she stared at him.
“Did I do okay? You like it?” she asked.
He nodded, his mouth full. “I always do,” he tried to tell her.
“Good,” she responded with a smile. “That’s all I need to know.”
They ate their meal and afterward retreated to the living room to watch a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air marathon.
Calhoun sat with his long legs spread out and resting on top of the coffee table. Coco went and got Cadee and Chloe and made them sit up under their daddy.
They all snuggled together while Coco positioned Chance right next to her, the girls on the other side.
She brimmed with happiness, there with her ever-growing family.
“How was work, baby?” she asked as her eyes focused on the television show.
“A’ight.”
“You meet any new people while you were delivering?”
“Coco, c’mon, we having a good time chilling. Why you gotta bring up who I meet at the job? What difference that make?”
Her smile faded slightly. “I just wanna know how your day went.”
“No, you don’t. You wanna know more than that. I know how your mind thinks.”
She was amused. “You think you know, but you don’t.”
“Women like you . . . hell, I can see right through all this shit you doing. Cooking for me. Serving my plate. Making me sit here with the kids and watch wack-ass Will Smith. I feel like I’m in prison.”
She stopped smiling. “Calhoun, how can you say that shit in front of your kids? You’re supposed to wanna be with us, kicking it with us. It’s your damn kids.”
“Except that one.” He pointed at Chance.
“Hush your mouth with that.” Coco was so mad she wanted to slug Calhoun. “You raising him like he yours. And that’s what counts.”
“True.”
“Then there shouldn’t be anything you wanna do more than be with your family.”
Calhoun knew he ought to shut his mouth, but his feelings were boiling over. They always did whenever Coco pressured him.
“There you go again, Ma, telling me exactly what I should be doing to be happy. How you know what makes me happy?”
She shrugged.
“You ever ask?” Before she could reply he blurted, “You need to stop focusing on me so much.”
“Why?” she challenged him. “What makes you say that, Calhoun?”
“Huh?” he asked.
“You trying to tell me something?” she demanded. “As hard as I work to make us a family? As many hours as it takes to keep the house clean, keep the kids in line, wash your uniforms, and take care of our business? If I didn’t focus on you, on us, who the fuck else would? Huh?”
“Stop raising your voice.”
“You better hope I don’t raise my fist.”
By then two-year-old Chance had crawled on her lap. He wanted his mom to hold him, ease his fears. Their frequent loud yelling and aggressive talk made him antsy. But in anger, Coco pushed Chance off of her like he was a frisky puppy.
“Stay off my stomach,” she told him. “That hurts your mama.”
Coco then struggled to stand up. Chance started screaming, angry that he wasn’t where he wanted to be.
“Pick me up,” he hollered.
“Shut your mouth,” she screamed back.
Cadee and Chloe clung even tighter to their father. Things grew so chaotic by then that even Calhoun begin to feel pissed off.
Coco came and stood in front of him, hands on her hips.
“So what you’ve done?” she said. “If I didn’t have to deal with so much stress about you and what you doing when you not here, and how you supposed to be helping me out more, none of this would be happening.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes! I get tired of doing everything I can for you, just for you to treat me like shit.” She stared right at him and blocked his view of the television.
“Get out the way,” he said. “I can’t see the show through your big ass.”
“I thought you didn’t like Will Smith?”
“I don’t like you raising your voice at me and acting like you want to throw down.”
She angrily stared at him. Some days she loved him with more passion than she ever thought she could feel. Other days she wondered if what Alita had been telling her was true . . . Calhoun Humphries wasn’t the best man out there . . . that she was settling for scraps when she could have better . . . that he wasn’t a decent boyfriend, no matter how you sliced it.
Dru had told her one time that when it came to Calhoun, she acted too controlling. She informed Coco that men can’t be controlled. The more you try to lock them down, the more they want to escape. But she couldn’t imagine Calhoun not being in her life.
Coco felt her heart giving in, and she swallowed her pride. “Baby, look. I-I’m sorry. I know you work hard at what you do. You don’t have time to be hollering at every woman that passes by you at these damned grocery stores. Plus, why would you wanna holler at them when you have me to come home to?” She gave him a hopeful grin.
He ignored her. She yelled at Chloe and Cadee. “Get up. Move out the way.”
They leapt to their feet in an instant and stampeded out of the way.
Coco waited for Calhoun to shift to the side a few inches so she could sit next to him. He stared right through her as if she were invisible.
“Dude, you bugging.” She lifted his long leg, moved it out the way, and sat next to him. She scrutinized his handsome fa
ce, his thick, smooth lips; rugged, brittle skin. She raised her hand up to gingerly caress the cheek area right by his beard. It felt warm yet hard.
“I love you, Calhoun. That’s why I do what I do. I just want . . . us.”
He finally gave in.
“I know that,” he said stubbornly.
“But do you like that?”
“Yeah, damn, Coco. Now go on and go somewhere so I can look at TV.”
She smiled at her man, her heart filling with love for him. “Good. That’s all I want to know.”
* * *
That weekend, Calhoun had the day off from work. Coco needed her man’s help. She was on public assistance. And her Texas EBT card balance was down to twenty dollars; in order to feed the kids, she needed about two hundred fifty dollars’ worth of food.
“It’s ’bout time you took on more responsibilities,” she said as she fussed at him. “I’m tired of footing a lot of the bills. Thank you for the little bit you do, but you gotta do more.”
“Okay, all right,” he complained. “I’ll do anything to shut your nagging-ass mouth.”
Calhoun agreed to take her shopping without complaint. The grocery store was especially busy on this Saturday afternoon. Coco filled her basket with fresh fruits and vegetables, plenty of chicken, fish, and red meat, cereal, butter cookies, hot dogs, and potato chips. She also made sure to get the foods that Chance would want to eat.
Once she filled her basket, Coco stood in line with her hands perched on the grocery cart; she mentally calculated the total.
“Hey, hold on a sec. I need a six-pack,” Calhoun said. He promised that he’d be right back. Chance was sitting in the baby seat of her cart. The other two little ones, Cadee and Chloe, were standing right in front of the basket.
“Y’all stay outta people’s way,” Coco yelled at her kids.
As Coco stood there, all she could hear was people standing around her conversing in Spanish. Folks waited in front of her, and a long line of folks was behind her. Lots of noise and crowds irritated Coco. She began placing her food items on the conveyer belt. Soon she was in a grim mood, since the salesclerk had rung up her food but Calhoun had yet to arrive.
“Damn it,” she cursed. “I’m out of here. I get sick of waiting for his ass.” Coco was ready to abandon her groceries.
But then she saw Calhoun running toward her. He grinned as he squeezed past the other women and stepped up to the register.
“Sorry, baby,” he said.
“What took you so long? You had these chicks looking at me like I was crazy.”
“I bought a couple of scratch-offs.” He triumphantly held two validated tickets in his hand. “Today’s my lucky day. I won five hundred.”
“Stop playing. Really?”
“Yeah, Ma. My hand been itching for a minute. Finally paid off.”
“Oh,” she said, stunned.
“And I got us some more shit,” he explained. Calhoun retrieved his credit card from his wallet. Then he handed the cashier a big box of shrimp, two cases of beer, and a slab of ribs.
“Add this. And this. And this.” He gave a woeful smile like he was really didn’t intend to hold up the line.
“So if you won,” Coco said, “where’s the money? Why you using your credit card?”
He looked both ways then opened his wallet. He showed her that his winning tickets were validated for the entire five hundred dollars.
“I gotta go to this claim center off the North Loop to pick up the cash. I’m calling in sick tomorrow and going to get our money.”
Coco’s eyes enlarged. “For real? You won?”
“Would I lie to you?”
When Coco realized that he hadn’t tried to hide his new windfall from her, she began to giggle. Then she gave him a high-five. She wrapped her arms around Calhoun’s neck for a hug, then she backed up off of him when she heard the women behind her sighing real loud.
“Calhoun, you took so long I didn’t know what had happened,” she explained. “Man, I could kill you sometimes,” she said. “I swear to God.”
“Hey, you swear you want me as your man. This is what you gon’ get when you with Calhoun Humphries.”
“I guess it is.”
“Stick with me, I’m gon’ take us places.”
At hearing Calhoun’s proclamation, Coco felt in a daze. She wanted to call Alita and mock her for every time she had called her man a loser.
Because right then, it felt as though Coco’s dream of him being her husband was a reality. She kissed him on his lips and sucked his tongue right in front of everybody.
Calhoun broke off from her kiss.
“So, Ma, I’ll prove it to you that, when the time is right, I’ll make things legal for us.”
She nodded and proceeded to finish the transaction so they could go and celebrate his winnings.
Coco felt no matter what he did, if she really loved Calhoun, she’d forgive him as many times as needed. Because of his personality, she knew that number would be astronomical.
CHAPTER 7
Men Are Men
“Are you completely positive you want to do this?” Burgundy asked. Alita was sitting in Burgundy’s sedan. She securely fastened her seat belt and gave herself a moment to think. It was Friday at the top of the lunch hour. And not too long ago Alita had clocked out from her stock clerk job. She worked in the health and beauty department of a major grocery chain and she’d been on the job exactly six months. Today, Alita decided to take care of some business and now she was taking the rest of the afternoon off.
Alita examined her hair in the car’s vanity mirror.
“Did you hear me ask you a question, or am I just talking to myself?” Burgundy asked.
“Yeah, girl, I heard you. I want to do this. I took time off from my job just to take care of this. So thanks for coming to get me, B. I was not in the mood for catching no damned Metro bus. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
Burgundy laughed. “No problem, Sis.” Alita slammed the car door shut, and they were on their way.
“Lita, are you hungry? You want me to stop by Wendy’s?”
“No, I’m not thinking about no hamburgers.”
“And you’re one hundred percent sure you—”
“Hello? How many times I got to tell you, B?” She reached inside of her purse. “You see these papers here that I’ve got to fill out and get them notarized?” She read the name of the document out loud: “‘Original Petition for Change of Name of an Adult.’ That’s one form that’s ready to go. And there’s this other one that the judge will sign. So yes, I want to go get my name changed back to Reeves. I’m not feeling Alita Washington anymore.”
Burgundy knew not to try to persuade her sister to take time to think. She paused. “Lita, I know you been thinking about this for a minute. So please tell me everything that happened that makes you want to do this.”
“I’ll tell you, but first let me munch on this piece of fruit I brought with me. You know it’s gonna be a long-ass wait at the county clerk’s office.”
“I thought you weren’t hungry.”
“I said I have something important to do. And I can eat some fruit on the way there.”
Alita reached inside her tote bag. The contents included her divorce decree, birth certificate, Social Security card, a copy of the Waiting to Exhale sound track, and an apple.
“Hey, can you pop this CD in for me, B?” She handed Burgundy the jewel case. It had tons of scratches on it.
“You still listen to CDs?”
Alita glared at her. “Can you pop in my CD and play track seven please, ma’am?”
Burgundy did as she was told. Soon Mary J. Blige was wailing the song “Not Gon Cry.”
“So anyway,” Alita continued as she took a huge chunk out of her apple, “Mister Leonard Washington is straight out tripping. Like, I remember when we were about to get divorced, I could have changed my name back then. But I decided not to do this. I would keep my married name. Figured it
was no big deal. My son is a Washington, and I wanted me and him to share last names. But now I know it’s time. Y’all were right. I need to let this man go.”
“Are you serious? This is what you really want to do?”
“I do. Because you gotta be careful what you wish for.”
“What are you talking about now, Alita?”
“I’m getting to it. Now, as you know, Leonard helped me out in that last situation with Leno, right. And so he actually started taking time to be with his kid a little more. It’s only been a few weeks since they’ve been hanging out. He’s picked our son up from our apartment and taken him to the barbershop, taken him to the gym, or the mall. And I was shocked but happy—at first. Him spending time with Leno gave me a much-needed break. But I think in that short a time, he put a whole lot of negative shit in Leno’s head. And my ex began to ask Leno questions.”
“Questions like what?”
“Like how would he feel about staying with his daddy? How does he like being raised by a woman? Doesn’t he want to know what it’s like to be a man? And didn’t he want to be told ‘man stuff’ by a man instead of his mama? Leno came back and told me everything they talked about.”
“Everything? Really, Alita?”
Alita ignored her. “And from what Leno told me, I do think he’s feeling everything his daddy has put in his head. Said he’s going through some things, and he wants his daddy’s opinion on things I can’t talk to him about. I don’t know where he gets that from. I can talk to that boy about anything under the sun.” Alita’s voice sounded hurt, slightly betrayed. “And it’s like the things I’ve taught him, built up in him, might be all taken away because the boy has stars in his eyes.”
“What do you mean? Because of the basketball?”
“No, because he finally has the one thing I hadn’t been able to give him: a relationship with his daddy.” She rolled her eyes. “Leonard Washington will get all the praise, even though for a minute he was nowhere to be found. And my son thinks he’s the greatest thing since Blu-ray.”
Burgundy’s heart went out to her sister. She knew how fiercely protective Alita was. But she also knew how she viewed life through a narrow window. “Alita,” she replied carefully, “I’ve seen you raise Leno. He’s a good kid. And if it weren’t for you, he would not be the ball player that he is. And sweetie, he’s almost a man. And I know you do the best you can. But a young man needs his father’s influence. And it’s never too late to get that.”