by Cydney Rax
Burgundy was visiting them at the time. She sat back and watched as Alita peppered her son with questions. “So you sure you don’t want to go on the college tour, son?”
“No!”
“I thought you were looking forward to spending time with your dad.” She paused. “And come to think about it, Leonard has never taken you on a trip anywhere since the day you left fifth grade. I wonder why all of a sudden he wants to get involved with these college campus trips. Have you ever wondered about that, Leno?”
Leno let out a curse word. He left, and they could hear his door slam when he went into his bedroom. Later on Leno finally answered his phone and let his father know he wasn’t in the mood to go out of town. When his father told him off, Leno promptly hung up on him. He did not hesitate to take up Burgundy’s offer when she suggested that he needed to get away from everything, and he could come stay with her for the weekend.
Leonard Washington was furious that he had wasted money on the nonrefundable airplane tickets and called Alita to complain about it, but Alita did not care one bit.
Later that night Alita got on the phone and thanked Burgundy for taking in Leno.
“How’s he doing, B?”
“He hasn’t eaten a thing.”
“Oh, give him another hour. He’ll tear through your refrigerator real good.”
Burgundy laughed. “It’s fine. I feel bad for him, though. He looks depressed, Lita.”
Tiny needles pricked at Alita’s conscience, but she ignored them. She was the parent. He was the minor, and in this world, the parents held all the power.
“I hate to hear that he feels sad about that stupid girl. But he don’t need her. And he can’t be letting his dad take him somewhere far from me and put a lot of crazy shit in his head. I did what I had to do as a mother to protect him and to send a strong message to Leonard. He can’t screw me in the ass and expect me to like it. He can’t rape me and expect me to not retaliate.”
“You are being overly dramatic, Alita.”
“How about this? How would you act if someone tried to take away Nat and Sid? You’d act like a crazy person and would do anything to protect them just like I did.”
Burgundy did not argue.
After a few days of nonstop threats, Alita met up with Leonard in person and finally managed to calm him down. He agreed to rethink his custody lawsuit.
“Don’t do this, Leonard, please. Not now. Enjoy your wife. I’ve always let you get Leno whenever you’ve wanted to. As long as you keep him here in Houston. Let’s stick to that plan, please; for his sake and yours, don’t do this full custody thing.”
Leonard stared at his ex-wife and suddenly had a change of heart. He promised he’d back off, and Alita felt like one good deed deserved another.
“Thank you, Leonard.” She choked back tears. “I hate legal shit.”
“I know you do.”
“And somehow, I will pay you back the money you lost on buying Leno’s ticket.”
“Don’t worry.”
“How much was it?” she asked.
“Four hundred.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay, then. If you say so,” she told him. “Thank you. Thank God.”
They sadly stared at each other, shook hands, and called a truce.
CHAPTER 18
I Made a Mistake
Coco was home with her kids. She was in the living room trying to place decorations all over her Christmas tree, a surprise gift that Calhoun brought home the night before. She recalled how last night she had given her man a suspicious look when he dragged the live tree through the front door. It smelled like pine cones and left a trail of debris across the hardwood floor.
“Hello to you too, beautiful,” Calhoun said, ignoring her stare. He stopped to give her a kiss on her cheek, then set up the tree in the corner of the room next to the fireplace. He told her to find something pretty to put on it.
“You dumbass. We’ve never had a tree before,” she hollered at him. “I don’t have any ornaments lying around. I have nothing.”
“Then our good smelling tree will be looking crazy.”
“Why don’t you go get the rest of the stuff and not be so half-assed?” she said, challenging him.
Her directness brought on an entirely new argument. They spent the next hour fighting, until Calhoun begged Coco to shut up and come give him some loving. She complained but obliged. Even though she was twenty-four weeks pregnant, and didn’t really want to have sex because she felt self-conscious about her size, she did it anyway. Anytime he asked. Every time he asked.
And now, she felt happier because Calhoun brought home several bags of ornaments. He even brought lawn decorations, an inflatable Santa Claus and reindeer that lit up. It was beginning to really feel like Christmas.
Coco was impressed with the pine cones, red-and-gold decorations, and the strands of red, white, and purple lights.
“Glad you like everything,” Calhoun said. “Make everything pretty for us and make this place feel like a home.”
“I thought we already had a home.”
“We do, but we can make it even better. I know what you going through. I know I can do better.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“I ain’t blind. Not a total asshole.”
“Thanks for saying that too.”
He laughed and pressed his thick, wet lips against her neck and made a trail of kisses.
“Ma, you know I gotta work today, but I trust you to do a good job.” He swatted her on the butt. “I’ll be back later to see what you working with.” He winked and left.
Coco ran to the window and watched as Calhoun drove off. She yelled for Cadee to bring her a footstool.
Coco concentrated on placing ornaments on the lower part of the tree. She felt guilty when she saw little Cadee was all out of breath as she tried to drag the footstool across the floor.
“Stop making all that noise. And be careful. We can’t be scratching up the hardwood. What if I want to sell this place one day?”
Cadee started crying and stopped dragging the stool.
“Bring it here. Oh, never mind. Damn. I’m too pregnant to be standing on this stool anyway. If I didn’t know any better I’d think my man was trying to kill me.”
Coco knew that Calhoun would be at work for several hours. She used her cell phone to call Q, feeling deliciously naughty about what she was getting ready to do.
“What you doing?” she asked Q, trying to sound nice but overly sexy.
“I’m out and about. Getting some gas. ’Bout to go get something to eat. Why? You miss me?”
“Shut up, fool. Stop playing.”
“I ain’t playing. You know what I told you.”
Coco couldn’t believe Q was counting the days till she wasn’t pregnant anymore.
“Yeah, I remember, but I wish I could forget. Anyway, drop everything you doing. I need help with my Christmas tree.”
“What kind of help?”
“I was hoping you could help me put some decorations on the top. I can’t reach it.”
“Where your man at?”
“Your best friend is at work just like you know he is. Don’t even front.”
Coco’s palms began to feel moist. She never liked to talk to Q on the phone for longer than a minute or two. She never wanted Calhoun to check her phone records and know she was holding long conversations with his boy.
“So what you gonna do?” she asked him. “Can you come?”
“Oh, baby, you know you can make me come anytime, anywhere.”
Coco’s face flushed. She hung up on him and wished she had never called. She didn’t know why she even bothered with him. Their one sexual encounter rated a seven out of ten, nothing to jump up and down about. But Q’s swagger made her curious and gullible enough to play with the fire he presented to her each time he came around.
Ten minutes later Q showed up. She made Chloe an
d Cadee go to their room and watch their little brother.
She came back to the living room and barked orders.
“Hurry up,” Coco said. “I don’t have all day.”
“That’s not my problem, though.”
‘In a way it is,” she retorted. “Because when you come over here, you on a time schedule, so make it quick.”
Q placed all kinds of ornaments on the tree as Coco handed them to him as he stood on the ladder. Every time she raised her hand toward him, her chest rose up. And when her chest rose up, so did his eyes. He stared at her breasts, her luscious lips, and that huge behind. He nodded with approval and licked his lips.
The room smelled like pine cones and peppermint sticks, cinnamon and bayberry candles. The few lights that Coco wrapped around the tree were now twinkling off and on.
“This shit is popping,” he said, impressed with how things were coming along. “I’m feeling kinda sick, though . . . helping you out like this.”
“Why? Are you saying it should be your tree?”
“Not just that. It’s Christmas,” Q explained. “That boy is my seed. You should be my woman.”
“Boy, you must be out your mind.”
“Boy?”
Chance waddled into the living room happily talking to himself. He smelled like apple juice and cheese. A speechless Q quietly observed Chance. He was well dressed in his red “Let It Snow” pajamas. And the boy had the fattest cheeks Q had ever seen.
Q suddenly stretched out his arms gesturing at the boy. Feeling happy and excited, Chance galloped toward Q.
“No, no, uh uh. That ain’t happening. You gon’ have to leave.” Coco ran and scooped up their son. “I think he’s getting too attached to you.”
“That boy ain’t dumb. He knows—”
“He’s only two. His brain ain’t developed. He knows nothing.”
“But I do.”
Q was one of those types who barely showed emotion. He always acted as if nothing bothered him. But by the pained look on his face Coco could clearly see that was a lie.
“Look, I’m sorry, Q.” She stopped handing him ornaments. “I think this is enough. You did good.”
“We only half done.”
“We’ll have to call it a day. I can do the rest myself.”
“Stop lying.”
“Or I can get Chloe to stand on the ladder for me.”
“Coco, motherhood is a waste on you. You still ain’t shit.”
Coco gasped. “What you say? How dare you call me out with your irrelevant ass.” Coco knew she demanded the impossible: for Q to be a loyal keeper of her sordid secrets. She expected him to play along with a game that no longer felt like fun. It felt torturous and deceitful.
“Look, Q. I’m sorry. I’m pregnant, I’m stressed. My blood pressure has been high. I’m sorry.”
Q told her, “Okay. It’s cool.” He sighed and said, “I guess I’m done with the tree. But before I go, I have something for little man.”
“Something like what?”
He hesitated, then reached in his jacket pocket. He pulled out a Chevy racing car with spinning wheels, headlights, the hood that could open, doors that opened and closed. It even had louvers, and the entire thing was painted blue and white, Chance’s favorite colors.
“What are you doing, Q?”
“It’s Christmas.”
“But this wasn’t the agreement, and you know it.”
“I still got rights.” His voice sounded threatening. And hearing him sound so adamant made her heart race.
Chance’s eyes lit up. “Give me,” he said.
“Dammit, Q.”
“I bought this toy a couple weeks ago. It’s a good time to give it to him.”
“Lord Jesus, please don’t do this. I made a mistake. A huge mistake.” Her voice trembled. “Q, I’m sorry, but you gon’ have to go. Now!”
Chance screamed at the top of his lungs. Coco heard a door fly open. Chloe and Cadee peeped out of their room, took a look at Q, and their eyes widened.
“Get your nosy asses back in that bedroom before I beat the black off you.”
The girls screeched and slammed the door shut. That made Chance cry even louder.
“How can you talk to kids like that? You fool, don’t you ever talk to them kids like you crazy.”
“You can’t tell me how to raise these damn kids,” Coco argued. “Now get the fuck out.”
“I can tell you what to do with mines.”
“No, you cannot.”
“Oh, this is some bullshit.” Q’s voice croaked. He kicked the wall as he walked past. His shoe left a black mark the size of a quarter.
“And you got the nerve to call me crazy?” Coco felt dizzy with anger and nearly fell over from stress. “Q, man, why you do that? Really? See, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m in no condition to deal with all this stress you putting on me.”
“I’m putting on you? You expect me to pretend like—”
“This is not going to work, and you know it’s not. Stop tripping. You yourself said we gotta keep it on the low. So play your role.”
Q getting to see the boy felt like a mistake, but not on his part. It felt as if his feelings did not matter. And he wondered why couldn’t a father openly acknowledge his kid?
With the toy still clutched in his hand, Q glanced at his son.
Chance raised his own hand, his hopeful eyes bright and clear and completely glued on the blue-and-white car.
“Give me,” Chance demanded again.
“No, baby boy,” Coco quickly told him in a much nicer voice. Then to Q she said, “Please leave.”
When Chance began to cry again, nearly snorting from anger, Q gave Coco a hateful look. And when Chance dropped to the floor and kicked his little legs in the air, Q had had enough. He opened and slammed the door so violently that the walls shook. Paint chips fell from the ceiling. Coco heard Q’s car start and its tires screeched as he backed out of the driveway and sped off.
“I hate I ever messed around with that fool.”
Coco took time to calm down Chance. He was screaming and yelling like he’d been bitten. She went to the refrigerator and filled his sippy cup with some apple juice and diluted it with a little bit of water. She said sweet words to him, and sang to him and forced him to take a nap. Then she hurriedly swept the floor and mopped and carefully got rid of the paint debris.
She wound a long string of garland around the tree and nearly broke her neck trying to set a wire angel on top. She had the girls climb up a tall ladder and put the rest of the ornaments on the tree.
Coco stood back and admired her handiwork, feeling happy and proud that the decorating had turned out nicely; she loved how the lights seemed to magically illuminate the entire room. And she couldn’t wait until Calhoun got home so she could see the look on his face.
Coco talked to her girlfriends on the phone to pass the time. A couple hours went by. She hadn’t heard from Calhoun since he left, and her mind raced.
She picked up her cell, thought about calling, but changed her mind.
She played games with the kids until another several hours had passed. By then it was bath and bed time. She gave the girls a bath together and washed up Chance real good. She was so drowsy that her eyes opened and closed every time she yawned. After the kids climbed into bed, she looked out the window at the driveway, but Calhoun’s parking spot was empty. She thought about going out and searching for her man, but her car was low on gas.
“Fuck it.” She dialed Calhoun’s cell. It went straight into voice mail.
She punched in Q’s number and hung up before it could ring even once.
Coco lowered herself to the floor. She scooted back until she sat against the living room wall. She stared blankly at the pretty blinking lights, listening to classic carols and singing softly until exhaustion forced her to fall asleep.
* * *
By the time Christmas Eve arrived, love, peace, joy, and harmony seemed to raise pe
ople’s spirits. Even though she still hadn’t found another job, Alita wasn’t worried or angry.
In fact, she spent that afternoon baking a few dozen peanut butter cookies, a chocolate cake, and two apple pies. She carefully packaged the baked goods, set them in the trunk of her car, and drove off. She arrived unannounced at Burgundy’s door around five-thirty that evening. Darkness had just settled, and the evening air was marked by a crisp, wintery chill.
Alita pulled on her long-sleeved jacket and was glad when Nate answered the door.
“You remind me of Julianne,” he told her in a not-so-nice manner. “You just show up at my house whenever you ready.”
“Yeah, um, thanks for letting me in through the gate. I wanted to drop by here tonight and give you all these desserts. I thought I’d get to spend the holiday with you all tomorrow, but I won’t. I’m supposed to hang out with my boo thang and Leno. But you can eat the dessert and think of me.”
“How nice,” Nate dryly told her. “Can’t wait.”
Before Alita could give him a piece of her mind, Natalia and Sidnee entered the hallway. They both squealed in delight when they started sniffing and noted the sweet aroma of fresh apples, peanuts, and chocolate icing.
“How’s my two little nieces?” Alita asked and gave them each a hug.
“We’re good,” Natalia said. “My daddy is so nice. He gave me a Christmas present just now, even though it’s not Christmas yet.”
“Oh, don’t you mean Santa Claus gave you the gift, Natalia?”
“No, Auntie. My daddy is my Santa Claus.” She went and held his hand as he patted the top of her head.
Alita felt like she was about to get even more annoyed.
“How nice. Anyway, is she here?” Alita sweetly asked her brother-in-law.
“She who?”
“Who else? Burgundy!”
“Don’t sound so impatient, Alita. Remember, two of your sisters stay here.”
“Right! My bad.”
“It’s cool. The wife is doing some last-minute shopping. I will put your desserts in the kitchen and let her know you stopped by.” Nat tried to grab the food, but Alita shook her head.
“That’s okay. I can wait here till she gets back. I need to tell her something.”