by Kimber White
“Yes. Yes!”
More. Always. More. I couldn’t get enough of him. I reared up and wrapped my legs around his waist as his thrusts became more erratic. I leaned up and caught his earlobe between my teeth. I bit him lightly, making him suck air through his teeth and sending a shiver through me. He kissed me. Hard. Almost bruising. But, it still wasn’t enough. On and on he drove himself into me. And yet, still, I felt him holding something back. Whatever it was, I wanted it. I wanted all of him. It was foolish not to use protection, but I couldn’t stand the thought of any barrier between us. Not now. Not ever. He called me his. I was. But he was mine and I was born for this. The moment I thought it, I knew on an elemental level that it was true.
“Abby. God. Abby.”
“I want you. I want this. Please.”
He knew what I meant, and for a fraction of a second he went rigid. Then, he redoubled his efforts and I tightened my legs around his waist as he drilled me even harder. I came first, my walls shuddering around him. My head and heart seemed like an explosion of light. As if my veins conducted electric fire. I almost couldn’t contain the pleasure.
I screamed.
I dug my nails into the smooth flesh of his back, drawing blood. It only added to the pleasure Bas felt. His primal nature burst forth and he threw his head back and let out a guttural noise that thrilled me and made my body sing for his. I cupped his face with my hands, wanting to watch him as he came inside of me. His eyes went from man to wolf and back again. His lips trembled and curled back. I felt his hot seed shooting inside of me, and I pulled him close, wanting to take the last of this ride with him.
His eyes fluttered as he poured himself into me. I tried to keep my legs around him, but they’d already turned to rubber. I leaned up and kissed him. He tasted of salt and earth. There was a moment. A flash. I saw something go through Bas’s eyes, and he lowered his head, brushing his teeth along the soft flesh where my neck curved into my shoulder. Instinct told me to turn my head. I exposed the back of my neck to him and the skin there burned hot as I felt his teeth scrape against me.
He wanted to bite me. The desire for it flared inside of me at the same time it did for him. Oh, God. I wanted him to. I craned my neck far to the left and arched my back again, inviting him to mark me.
Bas went very still. It was a moment in time as he held himself motionless, his teeth just scratching my skin. Then, he drew himself away, pulling out of me and leaving me empty and panting.
“Bas?”
He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. “Not today. Not this time.”
Chapter Ten
I drew the covers around me, feeling a sudden chill from the absence of his skin against mine. Bas sat at the edge of the bed and watched me, his eyes filled with tenderness. He reached over and brushed the hair away from my eyes.
“What was that? At the end. Why didn’t you . . . bite me? I felt your need to do it.”
He smiled. “It means something. If I mark you, it’s forever.”
Forever. The instant he said it, I wanted to beg him for it again. Forever. If he marked me it would be forever. The answer flaring inside of me was yes. God, yes. I was meant for it, and he didn’t have to tell me. But, a moment later I recoiled from it, frightened about what it could mean. And it seemed that was always how it was with him since the moment I laid eyes on him. There was something powerful compelling me to him. But that power terrified me too. I was beginning to forget what it felt like not to know him.
As I turned it around in my head, something was happening to Bas. One moment he was cool and in control. The next, he was on his feet, pacing near the window. The hairs stood on end at the back of his neck, and the shudder that went through him seemed to pass through me as well.
“It cost you something. Not to bite me, I mean.”
I drew my knees to my chest and circled my arms around them. Every part of me wanted to leave that bed and go to him. But, I knew if I did, he might not be able to stop himself the second time. I wasn’t ready. That was my head talking. My heart and points lower down had a decidedly different answer.
He carved a hand through his hair and opened the sliding glass door to the balcony. It was so late it became early. Orange streaks cut across the horizon as the sun began to rise. I should have felt a chill from the blast of cold air that moved through the room, but my skin still blazed from Bas’s touch. I pulled the sheets around me and tucked them under my arm as I dared to venture out onto the balcony beside him. The vast, green landscape beneath us called to me. No. Not to me. To Bas. But I felt it too, through him somehow.
“Yes. It cost me something. The next time, I can’t promise I can hold back.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted him to. The idea that there would be a next time was all I could hear. Oh. I wanted a next time. Right now, in fact.
He turned to me. “Will you be okay here for a little while?”
His voice had dropped an octave. I heard the beast churning beneath it and understood what he needed. Whatever Bas had to hold back to keep from marking me, it roiled beneath him, needing to break free. I took a step back over the threshold so I stood on the carpeted floor with Bas out on the wooden balcony decking. I nodded in answer.
That day in his office, I wished for the chance to see his wolf. Now, it was about to happen.
“Wait for me,” he said. But, as he turned his blue eyes went sky pale and glowed. The bones of his face elongated. His marbled form shifted and rolled. He dropped to his hands and knees, his shoulder blades rose sharply, then settled back and reformed. Skin became fur and Bas’s wolf finally sprung free.
I put a hand to my mouth and gasped, not in fear, but in absolute wonderment. Sebastian Lanier was beautiful. His wolf held that beauty, but with a fierce power that took my breath away. His auburn hair gave way to brilliant red as the sunset, with streaks of gold framing his face and at the tip of his tail. He held his ears high, one pointing forward, the other back as he regarded me. I took a step forward, spreading my trembling fingers out toward him. Bas gave a sharp whine and sat back, allowing me to approach.
Slowly, I dropped to my knees, putting myself at eye level with him. I ran my hand along the ridge between his ears and down his back. His fur was downy silk underneath and coarse at the top. He shifted his weight between his front paws. I felt his coiled energy and strength and knew he needed to run. To hunt. I brought him to me, pressing my forehead against his neck and sliding my hand across his chest. His heart beat slow and steady, matching the pulse thundering between my own ears.
Mine. His. Forever.
A chorus of howls rose from beneath us. Bas’s pack called to him, perhaps sensing their master’s shift. Bas took a step backward and dipped low, rubbing his snout along my cheek. Then, he ran his great pink tongue along my neck and licked me, leaving a slobbering trail in his wake. If wolves could laugh, Bas did. He nodded his great head then took a running jump at the balcony railing.
I reached for him. It had to be a thirty-foot drop. But Bas rose in the air, arcing over the railing with the grace of a creature in flight. He landed softly on the ground below and darted toward the trees, disappearing into them in a streak of red and gold.
Chapter Eleven
It was late morning when Bas finally returned from the hunt. He appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, bathed in sunlight as it streamed through the room. I’d gone back to sleep after he left, my body craving rest as much as food or Bas’s again. That’s the first thing I learned about sex with a werewolf. Afterward, you feel like you’ve just run a marathon. It was a good hurt, though. And, the minute his eyes locked with mine, warmth flooded through me and I knew I’d let him take me again if I didn’t jump him first.
“Good morning, sleepy head. I’m beginning to think I’m a bad influence on you.”
God. He was magnificent. Standing over me in nothing but a pair of black, drawstring sweatpants and bare feet. Even his feet were sexy. Corded veins and long toes with tap
ered nails.
“You’re beginning to think that? I knew the second I laid eyes on you I’d be in trouble.”
He leaned across the bed and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “You’re perfect. Except you have awful morning breath.”
I blushed as I covered my mouth with my hand. I’d brought nothing with me since we’d left my mom’s driveway in such a hurry. I gave him a playful swat on the shoulder. “Better than dog breath anyway.”
He laughed and pointed across the hall. “Guest bathroom. You’ll find everything you need.”
“Hmm. What? You keep it stocked for your stream of girlfriends?” I meant it as a joke, but the second it came out of my mouth hot anger bubbled up inside of me. Jealousy unlike anything I’d ever felt. He came to me, circling my waist with his arms and pulling me close. His touch calmed me. God, what was happening to me that he could affect me so?
After he kissed the top of my head, I went into the bathroom and took a cold shower. I needed to clear my head and figure out my next move. It wasn’t normal to feel like I did around Bas this soon. I wanted to give in to it, but I didn’t trust it. This was how my mother was when she brought home some new guy. Hot and heavy and obsessed with him. Happy when he was with her, despondent when he wasn’t. I wasn’t that girl. I wouldn’t be like her. And yet, this thing with Bas couldn’t be further from that. I knew it. I just couldn’t explain it.
I rooted through the closet in the bathroom and found a stash of clean Wild Lake Outfitters gear in all shapes and sizes. I threw on a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants in my size and twisted my freshly washed hair into a top knot before venturing back out into the main room of the lodge.
Bas was in the kitchen making eggs and heavenly smelling bacon. I padded down to join him and took a seat at the granite-topped island bar.
“It’s quiet around here. Where’s the rest of your, uh, pack?”
Bas smiled as he deftly flipped an egg in an iron skillet, then plated it and slid it across the island in front of me. My stomach growled loud enough for him to hear.
“They’re around. We hunted together this morning. I sent them off for a while, though.”
“Because of me?”
Bas shrugged and took the seat opposite mine. He rested his chin in his hands and smiled, taking pleasure in watching me eat.
“Yes. They’re a lot to take this early in the morning. I figured you could maybe ease into it.”
Ease into it. It meant he wanted me back here. I froze mid chew and set down a strip of bacon. It was one thing being with him in the blush of an impending orgasm. He was huge and powerful and filled my senses. But now that he’d given me a chance to catch my breath, I had a thousand questions.
“What happened last night? And this morning? You were going to bite me. Mark me, you said. Why didn’t you?”
He smiled and took my hand, pulling it toward his lips. Heat zinged through me when he kissed me, driving out all questions. Bas was like a drug, melting away my inhibitions and reason, leaving nothing in its place but raw need.
“Because I won’t mark you until you fully understand what it means. And that you still want it in spite of all that.”
My heart started to thunder inside me again. He was right. I didn’t know what it was. I only knew that my body wanted it. But, that couldn’t be enough. Just when fresh panic started to take hold, he kissed me again, pressing his lips against my palm. My pulse steadied and calm washed over me like a wave of cool water on a hot day.
“How do you do that? You affect me somehow.”
He smiled. “I told you why. Because you’re mine. I can make you feel what I feel. I feel what you feel. If I mark you, that will burn even stronger. And we’ll need each other even more than we do now. That’s why you have to be sure.”
I pulled my hand away. That aching emptiness filled me the instant his flesh wasn’t touching mine. “Would it turn me?”
“No. Not unless you already have were blood in you. Even then, it’s extremely rare.”
“Good to know. And . . . thank you. I would have let you, you know. Bite me. I wanted you to. God, I can’t sit here and lie and tell you I still don’t want you to. I do. Badly. But, I don’t think it’s that simple, is it? There’s no going back.”
He was calm. Matter-of-fact. But, it felt like the world had crumbled around me and been rebuilt in the span of a few hours. I was his. He said it simply and sure. If it had been anyone else, I might have laughed in his face and stomped out with indignant feminine rage. I couldn’t, though. I tried to grapple with the weight and meaning of what he said, but I couldn’t deny the truth of it. Something about me belonged with him. I wanted it.
But, it didn’t mean I could act on it. Not yet.
“I’d like to meet them,” I said, shifting the subject to somewhat safer waters. “Your pack.”
Bas smiled as he popped the last piece of bacon in his mouth. “I was hoping you would. They’re itching to meet you. They’re pissed I didn’t invite them for breakfast.”
“God, I’m glad you didn’t. I’m a mess.” I finger combed my hair and looked down at my bare feet. I’d come here last night wearing jeans and high heeled boots. Wearing those now with my borrowed Wild Lake Outfitters yoga pants would seem like the ultimate Walk of Shame fashion statement.
Bas stood and cleared the plates. “They wouldn’t have minded. You’re beautiful just the way you are. You can stay here, you know. If you don’t want to go back to your mother’s.”
The idea was tempting. Bas’s lodge was a far cry from Oakwood. It was serene, peaceful beauty. But, it wasn’t home. I couldn’t let my romantic fantasy cloud my reality. I had to job to do. I had school. Without it, I’d never get out on my own for good.
“I have to go back. I’ve got class in a few hours. I have to study. Exams are next week. And, I have my internship.” The second I mentioned that last part, I regretted it. Bas’s shoulders stiffened and the easy air between us seemed to thicken.
Dale Thorp and Congressman Foster. I had a stack of research sitting on my desk and Dale’s hidden agenda against the man standing in front of me. Knowing what I knew felt like a betrayal. Though I didn’t understand the means he would use, I knew Foster meant to take something away from Bas. Even being here was a major conflict of interest. And then there was the other piece of it. Everything Cal said last night and Thorp insinuated settled over my shoulders like a yoke.
Ice raced through my veins and sent tingling fear down my spine. Was this all a lie? Had I played straight into Dale Thorp’s plans?
Bas turned, his face went white as he came to me and gripped my shoulders. He leaned in close, his forehead just an inch from mine. “What I feel for you, what I want from you has nothing to do with Dale Thorp. It’s real, it’s pure, and it’s the truth.”
Still, I tried to pull away. “Can you read my mind even?”
Bas didn’t drop his hands from my shoulders. “No. But I feel your heart. And it means you can feel mine. Listen close and tell me if you think I’m using you.”
The air around me grew still. It was as if the world shrank to nothing but Bas’s eyes as they stared into mine. I felt it. Just a flutter at first. Then, sure and strong, beating in time with mine. Bas’s heart. Bas’s soul. He bared it for me, and I knew the truth. My knees went weak from the power of it. Still, it scared me.
“I need to breathe,” I said, gasping. Bas let me go. The pulse in my ears receded.
“I know,” he said. “It’s okay. I told you, all of this is a lot. You’re not ready for it.”
And I wasn’t. Though the pull of him was so strong, I needed to be cautious. I couldn’t be like my mother. This was different, I knew. And yet, parts of it felt the same. She tried to hitch her wagon to whatever guy paid attention to her time and again. I couldn’t be that girl. Bas knew to give me time and space. He grabbed my purse from one of the couches near the hearth and gently looped it over my shoulder as I stood there trying to catch my breath.
&
nbsp; “I’ve got to head out of town for a couple of days,” he said. “But, I’d very much like to see you when I get back.”
I nodded, open mouthed. Then, Bas held the door for me like a perfect gentleman. I liked this side of him too. And yet, my body still called for the wolf inside of him.
Chapter Twelve
For the first few days after I left Bas, he was all I could think about. When I slept, I woke trembling with need. I dreamed he watched me, his pale blue wolf eyes hovering just out of my reach. I checked my phone more times than I wanted to admit, but he didn’t call or text. I busied myself with the mountain of schoolwork I had ahead of exams. Kendra and Darby asked me a thousand questions; Bas’s dramatic alley rescue outside the Stacks drew witnesses. Cal steered clear, and that was a blessing. But, I wasn’t ready to explain anything about what happened to my friends. Hell, I wasn’t sure I could explain it to myself.
And then there was Congressman Foster. Things stayed calm throughout the week with him and Thorp still in D.C. for an important vote. But, about six days after I last saw Bas, they came back. While they’d been away, Dale sent me a slew of new projects that had nothing to do with eminent domain or Wild Lake lands. I had started to think maybe Foster had moved on to other projects. The morning after their return, Dale called me into his office, and everything started to fall apart.
I gave him what I had so far. He had me sit in his office while he read my ten-page memo. He thumbed through the pages, a permanent scowl on his face as he inhaled sharply as if he were going to say something, then licked his thumb to turn another page and settled back into his chair.