Broken Wings

by Judith James

  Gabriel had heard enough. He understood the older man's anger, but he had a temper of his own, and if he listened to Huntington's abuse much longer he was likely to say, or do, something that he'd later re­gret. Tight-lipped and silent, he pulled free of Sarah's grasp and stalked to the door.

  Stricken, Sarah watched him go. Things had been going so well between them, and now this! She turned on her brother in fury. "Ross, you're a powerful man. I've never known you to be vicious before. How could you throw his background, his lack of family or money, in his face like that? It's appalling! When did you start thinking that such things measured a man's worth? I'm deeply ashamed of you. I'm going to find him now and I'm going to apologize on behalf of my family, and if you wish us gone from here, tell Simmons to ready my carriage. It is my carriage, you know." That being said, she stormed from the room.

  Sarah had a fair idea of where to find Gabriel. She saddled her black and made her way down the path to the beach, following his trail to the north. He was sitting, hunched on a rock, looking out to sea. Walking up behind him, she squeezed his shoulder and ran her fingers through his hair.

  He leaned back into her, and cocked his head sideways. "That went well, don't you think?" he said, looking up with a grin.

  Laughing, she kissed him, relieved and surprised he was taking it so well. "Ross didn't mean what he said, Gabe. He just needs some time to adjust."

  "Oh, yes, he did," Gabriel said, with a chuckle. "He meant every word."

  "I confess, I thought you'd be more upset." She was amazed at his playful mood. It was most unex­pected, given the circumstances.

  Leaning his head back to rest against her hip, he closed his eyes and turned his face into the sun. "Mmm, I suppose I was upset for a moment or two, but I find myself in too great charity with the world to sustain it. After all"—he opened his eyes, bright with love and laughter, and hauled her down into his lap— "it's not every day a man gets a proposal of marriage from a desperate, lovesick young lass."

  She giggled and pushed his face away. "Ack! You need to shave."

  He rubbed his nose between her breasts, taking in her scent. Hugging her tight, he kissed her throat and whispered urgently in her ear, "Tell me you meant it, love."

  A huge smile lit her face. "Yes, I meant it." She kissed his nose. "I meant it." His eyes. "I meant it." His lips.

  "I won't let you change your mind, mignonne."

  "I take it then, your answer is yes?"

  "I love you dearly, Sarah. I only want what's best for you, and I'm not at all sure that would be me, but I'm a bloody selfish bastard where you're concerned, and if you'll have me, I'll move heaven and earth to be the man you deserve."

  She laughed with joy. "Well, I feel certain I deserve to keep you after putting up with your foul temper, and fouler language," she said, giggling as he tickled her with the rough stubble on his chin. "And with your leaving sand and crumbs in my bed, and . .. mmphhh"—he kissed her soundly—"your stealing my telescope and not putting it away." He slid down into the sand, tugging her, tripping her, and catching her in his arms as they subsided into a tangle of petticoats and kisses. "Oh, Gabriel, I love you. I love you so much."

  “Je t'aime, je t'adore, ma vie, mon ame, mon coeur. He took her there, on the sand, in the lea of the rock, to the sounds of seabirds and the rolling surf breaking against the shore. With the sea lifting her skirts and tugging at his breeches, he entered her, gently, lovingly, moving with the motion of the swell as it rocked and lifted them. Nothing existed but the sun, the surf, and each other.

  Much later, they sat in the hot sun, trying to dry their clothing. Gabriel leaned against the big rock, his legs cradling Sarah's waist, his chest supporting her back, his arms wound tight around her. They delayed their return, enjoying the peace and quiet a while longer, but both of them knew that eventually they had to face the future. Resting his chin on her head, Gabriel finally spoke. "It's been well over an hour, mignonne. How will your brother kill me, do you think? With a pistol, I expect. I imagine you'd be terribly vexed if I killed him."

  "That's not funny, Gabriel."

  "No, chere, but it is a problem. You can't say that he took to the notion very well. I expect I'll have to leave, and soon."

  "Then I'll go with you. London, Paris, anywhere, it doesn't matter."

  He kissed the top of her head and hugged her. "I can't imagine what I ever did to deserve you, Sarah. You make everything worthwhile. But Ross is right, you know."

  "About what?"

  "I have no name to give you, and no fortune be­yond what he's given me."

  "Take one of my names, I have several."

  He smiled. "Ah, well, I'll not refuse you for lack of a suitable name, but I won't have you support me."

  "You're sounding missish again, Gabriel. It doesn't matter. Why should it?"

  "It matters to me, Sarah. I want to support you, to

  want her life to be diminished in anyway by joining it with his. She thought it a particularly irrational and peculiarly male conceit, but it was common to all the best men she knew. "So what do you have in mind then, Gabe?"

  "I've been talking to Davey, Sarah. He's been restless lately. He says the profits he's making aren't worth the risks now, with all the customs agents about. He intends to do some privateering. He's been talking about setting sail for the Mediterranean."

  The excitement in his voice was unmistakable, and her heart seized and stuttered, in her chest. Privateering in the Mediterranean! It was dangerous and he'd be gone a long time, if he made it back at all. Damn Davey to hell, and back!

  "He's offered me lieutenant, Sarah, and a healthy share of any prize we take. A few good prizes, and I'll be able to take care of you properly, love. I can build you a home with a fine observatory, return your brother his money, and maybe start a small shipping business of my own."

  "It's a dangerous business, Gabe," she said, knowing she'd already lost him.

  "No, it's not, chere. These big merchant ships are poorly armed and slow to maneuver. They rarely put up a fight."

  "And they rarely travel unescorted," she observed dryly.

  "You know how careful Davey is, and you've traveled aboard L'Esperance. Nothing can catch her."

  "How long have you known about this, Gabriel? Why haven't you told me before?"

  "I'm not telling you about it, I am discussing it with you," he said carefully. "I've made no decision. Davey mentioned it to me weeks ago and I turned him down, but things are different now, mignonne."

  "When will you leave?" she asked dully.

  "Sarah, please ... I don't want to upset you. This is only one possible solution to our troubles. If it grieves you this much, I won't go. We'll think of some other way."

  She recognized it was something he had to do. It was independence and strength that had helped him survive his abysmal childhood, and it was the same qualities now that refused to allow him to be depen­dent on anyone else for his livelihood. "I'm sorry, Gabriel. You're right, of course. It is a solution. You will establish yourself, and Ross will have time to calm down. If you must go, I'd rather you be with Davey than anywhere else. I just hate to lose you so soon after... I'll miss you. When will you go?"

  "Davey leaves this week, Sarah. I'll go and see him this evening and ask to live on the ship until then. Your brother will shoot me if he catches me climbing up to your room again. That's done now I'm afraid."

  She knew he was right. Their all too brief idyll was over and nothing would ever be the same. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as he rocked her in his arms.

  "Shhh, mignonne, don't cry. We'll be together, you'll see. Your brother will grow to accept it, and we'll be married and have many happy years together. I promise."

  "How long will you be gone" she asked brokenly.

  "I don't know, love," he whispered. "At least six months, more if we have bad weather. No more than a year. Will you wait for me that long?"

  "However long it takes. However long you want me to.
"

  "What does that mean, chere?"

  "It will be a grand adventure for you, Gabriel. You've had little opportunity to travel. You'll be able to see things you've only read about. If you're going to do it, I want you to feel free to experience new things, to meet new .. . people."

  He burst out laughing and ruffled her hair. "Don't be absurd, mignonne! Do you really think I would choose to be with any woman but you? I love you, Sarah. I'd never treat you that way!"

  "A year is a long time, though, Gabe. A man has needs."

  "So does a woman. You're everything I've ever needed, Sarah, the only woman I'll ever want or need. I've waited all my life for you. I'll wait as long as it takes, if you will."

  "Of course, I will."

  "I wish you could come with me, chere."

  "I've sailed with Davey before. Perhaps I should come with you."

  "He would never allow it. He knows Ross would never forgive him."

  "How do you know that?"

  "Because I asked him, when he first brought it up."

  "Thank you for asking." She tried her best to give him a bright smile as he wheeled his mount to ride away toward Davey, and danger, and an uncertain fu­ture, but her lower lip quivered and her eyes pricked with tears.

  ***

  Davey was genuinely dismayed when Gabriel recounted the afternoon's events. "You mean to tell me the man came home to find you sitting in his office, on his chair, with your feet on his desk as you blithely fondled his baby sister?"

  Gabriel winced. "It sounds worse the way you tell it, Davey, but yes, essentially that's what happened."

  "You're lucky Ross didn't kill you."

  "He has threatened to. I'd like to think I could defend myself if the need arose."

  "Not a battle a man wants to fight, my boy. Lose it, and you lose your life. Win it, and you lose the girl."

  "I'm well aware of that, Davey. He's ordered me out and I've left."

  "And what of Sarah?"

  "I love her, and I intend to marry her."

  "Over Ross's dead body, I should think."

  "She's agreed to it, Davey. She's a grown woman and she doesn't need his permission."

  "True enough, lad. True enough. Then why aren't you with her now?"

  "I can hardly stay at the manor now, and I won't have her choose between me and her brothers."

  Nodding his approval, Davey pointed to a chair, and poured two glasses of brandy. "Sit yourself down, man."

  "Can I stay here, Davey? Is your offer still open?" "You mean to be a privateer then, Gabriel?"

  “Yes, if you'll have me."

  "Oh, I'll be glad enough to have you, though Ross will have my guts for garters, but what does the lass think of it?"

  "She's hurt and upset, but I can't think of anything else to do. I hope to make enough money to support her, and I hope that Huntington will have calmed down by the time I return."

  "He likely will have. Perhaps he would have already, if you'd been a little more discreet in breaking the news to him."

  Gabriel flushed with embarrassment.

  "She's got money of her own. What's wrong with that?"

  "I'm not a leech, Davey."

  "Well, clearly you were not brought up with the right and proper aristocratic values. Marrying an heiress so you can live comfortably off her fortune is quite the thing these days, my boy. You're sure you don't want to reconsider?"

  "I'm certain, Davey. I intend for my wife to live comfortably off of my fortune."

  "Fair enough, but I've no mind to be in Ross's bad graces on account of you, so we'll leave on the mor­row before he can find out you're here. I can finish stocking the ship in Polperro." He stood and offered Gabriel his hand. "Go stow your gear now, lad, and welcome aboard."

  Chapter

  20

  Ross sat nursing a stiff drink, finally getting over his initial shock and outrage. The lad hadn't dared show him­self since this morning, and a good thing, too. What had gotten into Sarah? What had she been thinking, dis­playing herself in wanton abandon, in his office, in broad daylight, with that dissipated libertine? It was disgraceful! He took another sip of his drink, then leaned back and massaged his temples with his fingertips.

  Well, it was too late for regrets now. He was at least partly to blame, leaving them unsupervised as he'd done. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair, twirl­ing the glass between his fingers. It was obvious they had strong feelings for each other. What to do? Throw Gabriel out of the house? If he did, Sarah might go with him, and he was not prepared to lose her again. He had shown some promise, and his intentions were proper, even if his behavior was not. If they truly loved each other, if there was any chance they might make a happy life together, then God bless them. It was rare enough in this world.

  He would bow to the inevitable, and try to sal­vage the thing as best he could. In the morning he'd contact his solicitor and make arrangements to cede the lad a property, perhaps attaching a respectable and relatively obscure name to it. He would give him the opportunity to act as lieutenant on one of his merchant vessels, with a view to making him captain in time. There would be no more smuggling. The lad would do as he was told, if he wanted Ross's permission to marry his sister.

  ***

  When morning broke, the L'Esperance was gone, and Gabriel with it. Sarah was heartbroken. She hadn't expected him to leave so suddenly. She'd thought they would have a day or two. She'd thought he would come, at least one more time, to say goodbye. She was sitting in the breakfast room, listlessly buttering her toast, when Ross came in.

  "Good morning, sister."

  "Good morning, brother," she said, waving her hand in a tired gesture. "As you can see, I'm still here. You didn't order the carriage, so I assumed I might stay.

  "Pray don't be ridiculous this early in the morning, Sarah. It gives me a headache. Where is your.... fiance?"

  "He has left, with our cousin, for the Mediterranean," she said brokenly, tears welling in her eyes.

  "The devil, you say! What on earth possessed him? Oh, Sarah, I'm sorry." He reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "I thought he intended to marry you."

  "He did. He does."

  "Well, I must say he appears to be rather halfhearted about it, if he scampers off at the first sign of trouble."

  "Why do you persist in thinking the worst of him, Ross?"

  "If I thought the worst of him, I'd have never al­lowed him near you, or James. Why do you persist in thinking the worst of me? Surely you didn't really think I'd do him an injury, or force you to leave?"

  "I didn't know what to believe, Ross. I have never seen you so angry, and if I thought that you might, you can be sure Gabriel did, as well. He couldn't very well stay, under the circumstances. He left because he knew how much it would upset me if you and he harmed each other, and because he didn't want me to have to choose between you."

  "Hell and damnation! Sarah, I am sorry, but I'm only human. I have a temper and the fellow tried it severely. He was in my office, with his feet on my desk, fondling you! Of course, I was angry. If you'd only given me time to calm down, we would have come to some kind of accommodation. It's why I sought you out this morning. I'm prepared to accept him if you want him that badly, with certain conditions, of course. Come now, girl, stop your crying," he said gently. "It's not too late. They left only this morning. I'll send a clipper after them and fetch him back to you."

  Smiling through her tears, Sarah reached out and patted his hand. "Thank you, Ross. I do love you a very great deal. You are the best brother in the world, but I'm afraid it won't do any good. He won't accept your conditions. He means to have me on his own terms. He's quite decided."

  "And just how does he propose to do that, my dear?"

  "He doesn't wish to be beholden to you, or me, or anyone else for his livelihood. He hopes to make his fortune with Davey, so he can support us both. He hopes that you will have grown more accepting during his absence, and when he returns, he intends us to be m
arried, with or without your permission."

  Ross nodded, feeling a grudging respect. He'd underestimated Gabriel, it seemed. The lad intended to prove himself. It was a quaint notion, but one he thoroughly approved of, and it made the idea of him marrying Sarah a damn sight more palatable. "Well, good for him!"

  Sarah sighed, and sat up straight. "I suppose. I can't help but wish he'd put his love for me before his pride."

  Chapter

  21

  "No, my dear. You misunderstand such things, as women often do. It is because he loves you that he wishes to prove his worth. I admire him for it."

  "Well, I don't require it of him," she snapped. "I know his worth already. I don't understand why he can't accept that."

  "Perhaps it's not you he seeks to prove it to, but himself."

  She knew the instant he said it that he was right.

  "In any case, my dear, I respect him for it. Doubt­less, he will write you when he can, and you may tell him that if he presents himself, with sufficient funds and in an appropriate manner at some time in the fu­ture, he can expect my approval of his suit."

  "Thank you, Ross," she said, giving him a hug. "That means a great deal."

  "Yes, quite," Ross said, feeling decidedly uncom­fortable, "and you mustn't worry too much, my dear. Davey will take good care of him and he'll be back be­fore you know it."

  Davey observed his newest lieutenant through narrowed eyes. They were less than half a day out of Falmouth, and already Gabriel's dreary demeanor, surly address, and dour looks were souring his mood. Where was the lad's spirit of adventure? He hoped to hell he wasn't going to have to endure the fellow's pin­ing and bad temper for the entire voyage. "Gabriel! Over here! A word with you, man."