She interrupted me. “I don’t know how I feel about the trust thing, but I have felt uncomfortable lately.”
“Don’t you think I know this? After all, you said it yourself: I’ve changed. The truth is, I have. The reason?” I paused, just to read Lesa for a few seconds. She was definitely tuned in and her eyes were so bugged that they looked as if they were going to break from the sockets. Her hand slightly trembled and her foot kept patting the floor. I could tell she feared the worst, but I had to shut down the lies, deceit, and betrayal.
“The reason is I’ve been having sex with Sylvia. I know it was wrong, but I felt a need to go there with her again, just to see if something was still there. My feelings, however, are not the same. I told her that today, and I also let her know that I’d been, basically, using her.”
Slow tears ran from Lesa’s face. Then they sped up. She smacked them away, and her lips quivered as she began to speak. “I . . . I knew you had been sleeping with her again. Damn it, Jonathan, I knew it! That’s why you couldn’t perform for me. You made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough, when all along you were fucking her. Now you want me to believe it’s over? Really?”
“It is over. I’m telling you this because I know it’s over. I want you to stop with the notes, and how you ever got into her apartment to trash it, I will never know. You don’t have to do that, baby. You don’t have to chase after me to find out what I’ve been up to. Now you know the deal. I’ve come clean and I feel horrible. I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you.”
Lesa’s face twisted. She cocked her head back and shouted at me, “What are you talking about? I didn’t trash her apartment. I don’t even know where the bitch lives, but I will definitely go confront her after this. I knew she couldn’t wait to get her hands on you again. When you told me she was coming back to St. Louis, I suspected that this shit would happen!”
I wasn’t sure if I believed Lesa, but I didn’t want to push. Her cries started to get louder and she covered her face with both hands. “I trusted you, Jonathan. I trusted that you would do right by me. I gave you everything I could give. Please tell me, where in the hell did I go wrong?”
I moved closer, attempting to put my arms around her. She pushed me away. “Don’t touch me,” she screamed, causing my ears to ring. “Just answer my got-damn question. Where did I go wrong?”
“This was on me. I want you to be honest about some things too. Have you been seeing someone too? And, forgive me, but I don’t believe you about the note and Sylvia’s apartment. Who else could have done it? Why would anyone else care about my relationship with Sylvia?”
She snatched her hands away from her face. Snot ran from her nose and over her lips. Her face was a pinkish red and her eyes were near swollen. I wanted to console her, but she didn’t want me near her right now.
“I don’t know who else could have done that. Probably someone else you’ve been sticking your lame dick into. I can’t believe you have the audacity to sit there and ask me to come clean about my indiscretions. I don’t have any, Jonathan, but I’ll tell you this: I wish like hell that I would’ve given myself to Lance when he approached me about sex. I’ve definitely been deprived, but I was able to shake off his advances. I wish I would have taken him up on his numerous offers for dinners, movies, trips, getaways, but noooo. I declined. I did so because I thought we had something special. I thought you loved me, and I thought you would be able to shake off women like Sylvia, who would only do us harm. But you didn’t. You didn’t, Jonathan, and I can’t spend another day in this house with you.”
This was not how I wanted things to turn out. I suspected that she would have some skeletons too, but from the looks of it, she didn’t have much. All of that stuff Jaylin mentioned earlier was in my head. I didn’t see a psychotic woman before me. I didn’t see one who had cheated, nor did I see one who was trying to be slick. I saw a hurt woman. One who had nothing to do with what had happened at Sylvia’s place. One who had faith in me, in our relationship. I had let her down.
Without saying another word, she rushed off the couch and went into our bedroom. While remaining calm, she gathered some of her clothes from the walk-in closets and stuffed them in a suitcase. I watched but didn’t try to stop her. There was not much for me to say, other than, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. I’ll be back for the rest of my things this week.”
Lesa dragged the heavy suitcase to the door. I followed her with sadness covering my face. She turned at the door and lifted her hand. In one pull, she snatched off her ring then tossed it to me.
“No need for this,” she said. “Give it to Sylvia. I’m sure it fits her finger better than mine.”
Saying no more, Lesa walked out. This was another failed relationship that left me feeling awful. I had a feeling that I had fucked up this time, but while Lesa was so sure that it was over, I wasn’t. I intended to fight hard at getting her back.
CHAPTER 13
SYLVIA
Just like the last time, this stuff with Jonathan was one big mess. It had started to take a toll on me. I hadn’t been eating much, so I had already lost about five pounds. Didn’t feel like working either, but I didn’t want to let Crissy down. I also needed the money. Bills had to be paid and I had to pay her back for helping to take care of some of my financial burdens.
After putting two and two together, I figured that Jaylin must’ve said some things to Jonathan that upset him. He must’ve given him more details about our little sexcapade, which made Jonathan come to the conclusion that he didn’t want to deal anymore. That’s the only excuse I could come up with for his behavior. He was cold and very disrespectful. He had never been that way with me before, but regardless, I had to accept his decision. I had to accept that there would be no more us, and I totally regretted giving myself to Jaylin. In doing so, it was apparent that Jonathan had lost every ounce of respect for me.
I was sitting at my desk, biting a nail. When I looked up, I saw Crissy staggering down the hallway, looking as if she’d had too much to drink. Her eyes were starting to show bags, and she wasn’t as jazzy as she had been before. I wanted to find out what was going on with her, but I was so caught up in my mess with Jonathan that I didn’t have time to inject more drama. Crissy’s life was full of it, and her problems never seemed as big as mine. With all of the money she had, all she had to do was take a long vacation and seek the peace she needed. Then again, as a friend I felt bad for not always making myself available to listen to her. All she wanted to do was vent, and the least I could do was listen. She was the only real friend I had, and, quite frankly, the only person I trusted.
She stopped at my desk then set her Michael Kors purse on top of it. “I have a super long day ahead of me, but you and I need to discuss what to do with your assault case. I know it has been on your mind, and I’ve already sought out an attorney for you who can help. You mentioned Jonathan, but I don’t know if that’s a good move. I could defend you, too, but with us being close friends, that could be a problem.”
“I understand that, and please scrap Jonathan. I don’t want nor do I need his help. I would love to sit down and talk to any attorney you recommend.”
“That’s great. His name is Ben Clayton. I’ll get him on the phone to see if he can talk to you this week. The sooner you get this over with, the better. And to be honest with you, Sylvia, this case is going to be a little difficult to try. You won’t walk away without any consequences. There are several witnesses who saw you attack Dana. You don’t have much of a defense, and we can’t prove that she trashed your apartment. If I had to predict the outcome, I’d say you may be looking at jail time, a hefty fine, or probation. Could be two of the three or just one. Not sure yet.”
Hearing her talk about jail time scared the hell out of me. I was a hothead sometimes, and many times I couldn’t control my actions. I reminded Crissy that Dana had slapped me a week before the incident at the salon. It didn’t seem fair that I had to pay for wh
at I’d done to her, and nothing would happen to her.
“We will address all of that. It may make a difference, and I want you to tell Ben everything. This is going to be costly, so I will front you the money. Somehow or someway, you must pay it back.”
I wasn’t a freeloading friend. I intended to pay Crissy back every single dime that she put out on my behalf. “No worries. I can’t thank you enough. You have no idea what your support and friendship means to me.”
Crissy reached out to give me a hug; then she removed her purse along with several folders from my desk.
“Hey,” I said, looking at her tired eyes. “Are you okay? You’ve been so consumed with what’s been going on with me, and I’m concerned about you. You don’t look well.”
She threw her hand back at me, as if it were no big deal. “I’m as good as I’m going to get. Been working my ass off, and I barely have time for me anymore. I need a long vacation. Looking forward to my trip to Dubai later this year, but I may go somewhere else sooner. I get tired of coming to this place every day, but I love what I do. The money motivates me, too.”
“Well, you certainly have plenty of it.” I laughed. “But, on another note, if you need anything from me, let me know. I’m here for you too.”
“I know you are, and thanks for being such a good friend. I have a meeting scheduled for this morning, but I should be free for lunch. Will you join me?”
“Of course I will. Just let me know when you’re ready.”
Crissy walked to her door then turned around. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She snapped her fingers. “I spoke to the private investigator the other day. He has a few questions for you, and then he said he’d get on seeing what Miss Lesa and Dana have been up to. One of them is about to get busted.”
After all that had happened, I wasn’t interested in what Lesa or Dana was doing. This was one last thing I didn’t have to worry about. “Girl, forget it. I’ll have to tell you why later, but there’s no need to waste his time.”
She frowned and didn’t seem to like my answer. “What? Are you sure? I mean, don’t you want to find out which one of them is responsible for trashing your apartment? We need to find out who the culprit is so we can turn their little world upside down.”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter. Besides, I bought me a 9 millimeter that is going to rock somebody’s world if they enter my apartment again. Trust me when I say they’ll regret it.”
Crissy laughed while shaking her head. “You are so bad, Sylvia. But I love it! Be careful with that thing, though, and be sure to stay within the law if or when you have to use it. We’ll talk more at lunch, okay?”
I nodded and watched as she went into her office then closed the door. I, on the other hand, sat thinking about my unwanted departure from Jonathan. My thoughts were in and out, and before I knew it, I looked up, seeing that it was almost noon. Crissy had already left. I called her, and she told me to meet her at CJ’s in fifteen minutes. I couldn’t wait to eat and was starving.
Forty-five minutes later, I sat at CJ’s with Crissy, stuffing my face with Buffalo wings and a salad. The food was delicious; I couldn’t wait to tackle dessert.
“Slow down,” Crissy said, dabbing her mouth with a crisp white napkin. “What’s the rush? You won’t get fired for taking an extended lunch, trust me.”
I playfully licked Buffalo sauce from the tip of one finger. “I can’t help myself. I haven’t eaten this good in about three or four days. These wings are off the chain. You should try some.”
Crissy cut her eyes at me then looked around at the crowded, noisy restaurant that served some of the best food in the area. Several waiters and waitresses moved quickly, trying to make sure each table got served. We looked at the table next to us, as an angry-looking man in a business suit complained about the size of his stuffed mushrooms.
“They’re usually bigger than this. Find me some bigger ones or else I’ll order something else.”
I couldn’t believe the arrogance of some folks. But with all of the uppity people in the restaurant, I was sure the staff knew how to handle them.
Crissy reached for one of my wings to taste it. She nodded then licked her finger too. “They are good, but you aren’t pregnant, are you? Eating like that makes me nervous.”
“No, I’m not pregnant. I thought I told you before that I couldn’t have children.”
“That’s right. You did tell me. But what you haven’t told me about is Jonathan. What happened between the two of you?”
I put the wings aside and started to tell Crissy about Jonathan’s and my abrupt departure from each other. She kept dropping her mouth open and shaking her head. A few sips from her water followed, and her eyes kept rolling. She couldn’t wait to chime in.
“I can’t believe he treated you like that, but then again I can. How dare he? I told you that man has changed. He is not the man you knew years ago. Nonetheless, I want you to do me one huge favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Introduce me that hot-ass friend of his. I know you know who I’m talking about, and I don’t blame you one bit for screwing that guy. If I could get one single hour with him, I would use my time wisely.”
This time, I rolled my eyes at her. “I assume you’re talking about Jaylin, right?”
“I don’t know what the hell his name is, but when I saw him up close and personal, I just wanted to throw myself at him. Those eyes . . . There is something about his eyes that instantly drew me in. I recently saw him with Jonathan, and, from your description, I figured he was the one you screwed. He is the only one of Jonathan’s friends you screwed, isn’t he?”
I rolled my eyes even harder. “Whatever, Crissy. Save the dig for another time and forget about your little favor. I would never introduce you to Jaylin, so figure out something else to do with your hour. Besides, we’re supposed to be friends. You wouldn’t want my leftovers, would you?”
She pursed her lips then laughed. “When it comes to a man like that, a friendship can’t be considered. All I want is the sex. On a scale from one to ten, I can look at him and tell he’s a one hundred. But you tell me. Is he better than Jonathan?”
I was getting ready to answer Crissy, until I looked up and saw several tall, giddy women prance into CJ’s. Some were extremely beautiful, causing several people in the restaurant to turn in their seats. Crissy’s eyes were locked on them too, and we both were stunned to see Lesa walk in behind them. She looked out of place and was dressed in plain, baggy clothes. Her jeans hung low on her waist, and the oversized shirt she had on hung off her shoulder. It was short enough to expose her midriff. A cap was on her head, and loud pink lipstick covered those big lips. I still couldn’t understand what Jonathan saw in her. I kept trying to figure it out, until Crissy poked at my arm.
“Stop looking,” she whispered. “I told you she was gorgeous. I would die for that figure.”
I cocked my head back, instead of pushing her out of the chair like I wanted to do. “Excuse me, but that heifer is too skinny. Your figure is better than hers, even though you bought it.”
We teased each other a lot. That was just me returning the favor for her paying Lesa a compliment.
“I paid a fortune for this body, but I’m still not satisfied. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week. Unfortunately, I forgot what day and time. Damn it.”
Crissy removed her cell phone from her purse. She started to search through her calendar. As she did that, I got back to my salad but kept taking peeks at Lesa and her crew. I guessed I must’ve been paying too much attention to them. She spotted me looking at her, and didn’t hesitate to come my way. I removed my high heels from underneath the table, just in case she came over to pull a Dana on me. This time, I wasn’t having it.
“Hello, Sylvia,” she said while standing across from me. “I’m so glad I caught up with you. I had anticipated on reaching out to you, and this certainly saves me the trip.”
“Catch up with me for what?” I said with
an attitude. Crissy appeared shocked. Her eyes were wide and she wasn’t sure what was about to happen.
“To let you know that Jonathan is all yours now. Since you couldn’t keep your legs closed, and he couldn’t control himself, I let him walk. No more marriage. No more anything.” She wiggled her fingers so I could see that there was no ring on her finger.
“I’m not exactly saddened to hear your news, and, just so you know, I kept my legs closed. Jonathan was able to pry them open, so I let him have at it because he said you had issues with helping him get it up. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m having lunch with my friend. We also don’t want everyone in here to know our business, so go back to your seat and try me another time.”
Lesa snickered, but I could tell her feelings were bruised. That changed when she hit me with something that I thought was between me and Jonathan.
“Yeah, I heard you were good when it comes to getting men up. You were able to get his friend up, too, and I listened in on a phone conversation one day where the two of them compared notes.” She fanned herself and laughed. “Girl, what they said about you wasn’t good. I knew then that Jonathan had lost all respect for you, and that you and he would never walk down any aisle. What I didn’t expect was for him to have sex with you again. But a dog will always be a dog, especially when there are so many cutthroat women out here who don’t give a hoot about the next woman.”
“Boo hoo,” Crissy interjected. “Didn’t she tell you we were having lunch? Save the drama for your momma, honey, and scat. This conversation is over.”
The people sitting next to us were all tuned in. They were waiting for me to reply, but I didn’t say a word. Lesa walked away, giggling as if she had gotten something off her chest. I was shocked to learn that she knew about my involvement with Jonathan. He must’ve told her. I wondered how that conversation went, but I was not going to pick up the phone to call him.
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