Forget the Quick Fix
In December 2013, I filed for divorce. At that point, I’d been working with Gunnar for almost two years, but kind of loosely. There was a lot going on in my personal life and I hadn’t truly dedicated myself to getting strong yet. At one point I managed to make it to the gym twice a week—I wrote that down as a realistic goal—but with the divorce looming, I upped it to three sessions. (I guess I needed more meds!) My life was full of noise and confusion, and I was experiencing an intense mix of love and anger, so I had to find a productive way of getting those emotions under control. And the gym did that for me. I felt both strong and mentally clear, and the good feelings that accompanied those regular workouts made me understand that I had to commit myself to this forever. I like to say, It’s not a lifestyle, it’s a life. Maybe if I had six-pack abs I’d write a book called Get Shredded Like Me in Seven Days, but I don’t have six-pack abs and I don’t believe in short-term fixes.
That’s one of the things I love about Gunnar: he’s not interested in the quick fix either. He wants to do it right. Gunnar is all about building bodies, and that’s what we were doing. I would come in with a picture of Jennifer Lopez’s abs and I’d say, “I want those abs,” and for the next two months he’d make sure I put extra time into my abs. I remember walking into my bathroom one morning, seeing my stomach in the mirror, and doing a double take. “Hello, baby abs!” I said, admiring my midsection. “I can’t wait to meet your other ab friends soon!”
Another time I arrived at the gym with a picture of Beyoncé’s ass and told Gunnar, “I want that ass.” And we worked on my ass. The Kardashian girls are a little obsessed with their asses, and I’m no exception. I remember telling Gunnar, “I have a really high butt, and I need to work on the bottom part, because I like it when a girl’s butt is meaty.” And he immediately replied, “No problem. We’re going to do that.”
He’s very positive, Gunnar, but he’s also very honest. He’ll never say, “That’s never going to happen.” He’ll say, “Okay, we can definitely work on that, but there are certain anatomical differences between you and Beyoncé, so we’re not going to create an exact duplicate. Still, I promise we will get as close as we can.”
I respect and love that Gunnar comes from a place of yes. That positive attitude convinced me that my goals were reachable, and it all goes back to the idea of setting achievable, realistic goals. Gunnar had his own weight issues as a child, so he understands what it means to struggle and stay on track. He also knows that most of us have food issues because he’s been there. (I mean, seriously, who doesn’t love food?)
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
—Henry Ford
I also love that Gunnar takes the time to explain things to me, to get into the science behind his thinking. If I ask him, “What does this exercise do?” he’ll tell me, “It develops this particular section of your glutes.” He is endlessly patient, because I am endlessly curious, though it’s obvious that most people are far more interested in results than they are in science.
While I do spend a lot of time on my butt, I also pay a lot of attention to my arms, which had been a source of terrible insecurity for me for a very long time. If you look at my arms today and look at a picture of them from a year ago, you’ll think I’ve had an arm transplant. They used be soft and mushy, and whenever I gained even the tiniest bit of weight, it always went directly to my arms. And whenever I lost weight, my arms didn’t always get with the program. They still aren’t where I want them to be, but I am proud of the changes I’ve managed. And that’s another thing to keep in mind. We can be our own worst critics. It is important to praise yourself for all the work you’ve put into your body. Giving yourself positive affirmations is a huge step in staying on track with your daily push to work out and get stronger. It would be easy for me to look at my arms and be discouraged because there’s still a long way to go, but instead I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.
Instead of being self-critical, I have become my own favorite cheerleader.
I was also insecure about my double chin. (Or should I say my endless chins?) It felt fleshy and soft, and I sometimes joked about getting jaw reconstruction surgery. I have always been a huge admirer of women with well-defined jawlines, and mine was hiding behind soft, excess fat. I began to wonder whether I even had a jawline. Then I noticed that exercise was actually beginning to redefine my face. With steady exercise, that extra flesh began to evaporate.
Visible changes like that really keep you going. But don’t expect to see them for a while! Sometimes you begin to wonder what the heck is wrong with you. You pant and sweat and ache and absolutely nothing seems to change . . . but a month or so later, OMG! Finally you understand what all the hard work was about. You look good and you feel good and that’s all the motivation you need to keep going. It has come to a point where I even get excited on my drive to Gunnar’s gym. I’ve got the music cranked, I’m singing along, and I can’t wait to start sweating. Crazy, right? But crazy good. I promise you. Sweating becomes an addiction, and when you finish a workout you feel such a sense of accomplishment that this becomes an addiction, too.
Routine and Structure
At one point early in 2014, I moved to the Hamptons to do a show with my sister, Kourtney and Khloé Take the Hamptons, and I got a little careless about both exercise and diet. I fell out of my routine. I should have made an out-of-town plan, with all sorts of contingencies, but I didn’t and it soon showed. There are too many good restaurants in the Hamptons. Also, Kourtney was pregnant at the time, and it was almost as if I was gaining sympathy weight. Plus every night she would go through an entire box of Nilla wafers, and I started doing the same. I’m not blaming Kourtney. It was my own fault. I didn’t have an ounce of self-control. And if I wanted to eat like a pregnant woman for the next three months, I wasn’t going to beat myself up over it. I just went with it.
The weird part is that Kourtney was the pregnant one and I was gaining most of the weight. A few weeks into it, I was watching an episode of the show in which Kim took Kourtney aside and told her on camera that I’d gained a lot of weight and that she thought my ass looked huge. Thanks to the miracle of recorded television, I now knew exactly what my sister thought, and I wasn’t mad at her. How could I be? She was right. Plus my ass was getting big in all the wrong ways.
I actually tried to get back in shape while we were still in the Hamptons, cutting back on those evil but amazing Nilla wafers and even making it to a few spin classes. But I missed the structure I had at home. It’s one thing to go on a vacation for a week—you can always make time for a daily workout, and it’s not the end of the world if you slack off for a few days—but it’s hard to stay focused if you’re gone for extended periods of time. That’s what happened to me. I lost my way a bit. I realized that I need routine and structure, so I’m a big proponent of scheduling. I also find that it’s harder to make excuses when you have a routine. You set a time every day, and you stick to it. It’s easy to say, “Well, I’m working fifty hours a week, and I get home tired.” Or “I’m a stay-at-home mom with three kids.” But anyone can find thirty minutes in the day, thirty minutes of her very own, even if it means getting up an hour earlier. Excuses are easy to come by. Getting in shape takes work. If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
That said, if you can stay healthy without a set routine, more power to you. At the end of the day it all boils down to doing it, and you’re going to have to find your own way.
When I returned to Los Angeles, I was about fifteen pounds heavier—the press couldn’t stop pointing it out!—but I got back in the groove in a big way. I was more determined than ever not to let all my hard, pre-Hamptons work go to waste. I would find structure and routine again. I would get up early, have my morning cup of coffee, then get behind the wheel of my car and sing my way to Gunnar’s gym.
Man, it was harder tha
n I thought! I’d lost so much ground that those first few days were brutal. Within a week, however, I was feeling better. Within three weeks, I decided to up my routine to five days a week, and a few weeks after that, I was back in fighting shape.
Around this time, someone said, “Are you training for something?” And I said, “Yes, I am. I’m training for LIFE!”
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.
—Colin Powell
There’s a lesson here. Even if you screw up from time to time, you can always fight your way back. And it’s not as hard as you think. Your muscles have memory; they remember.
But I can’t stress this enough: The plan is for life. Stay steady and you never have to get ready! People who buy into a thirty-day plan or who kid themselves into thinking that they’re going to lose fifty pounds by summer are setting themselves up for failure. You might get there, sure, but most people don’t, and they give up. And even the ones who reach their goal often take a break that never ends, and before long they’re back where they started. Stop looking at the numbers on the scale. This is about health, not numbers. And stop being in such a rush. There is no elevator to success; you have to take the stairs.
Getting Motivated
Some people find it’s easier to get motivated if they work out with friends or family. Some months ago, shortly after Kourtney had her third baby, she asked me if we could work out together. I had my doubts—I think it’s important to work out with people who are on your intensity level, and I didn’t think she was there—but I was blown away by Kourtney’s determination. She puts a lot of energy into her workout, and we have fun together.
Kim—not so much. She works out often, but we have different body types and need different things from our exercise. She’s not as intense as I am in the gym and thinks I’m a beast, which I take as a compliment. And she’s a little too ladylike. I sweat, she perspires. Big difference.
Finally, when it comes to exercise, you have to do it for you. When I started getting into shape, most of the media had opinions, and the general consensus was that it had been a “very long journey” for me. All I could think was “Screw all of you people!” None of them seemed to understand that it was my journey, and that I was doing it for me and nobody else.
And it will be a long journey, trust me. A lifelong journey with me at the controls.
If you are exercising to make someone else happy (a boyfriend, a husband, a critic, a relative), it’s probably not going to work. But if you’re doing it to make yourself happy, you’ll succeed. Success is a choice. Choose to win! After all, who doesn’t want to be happy? Especially when all it takes is a little sweat, dedication, and tenacity. That’s what makes you strong.
As far as my own personal preferences, I always start and end my workout with stretches. (I even stretch before I go to bed because I’ve read—and now I know from experience—that it helps you sleep better.) I love jumping rope, as I said, which burns tons of calories and does wonders for all parts of your body—legs, arms, stomach, core. I do a minute on, a minute off, and within three minutes I am pouring sweat, which I love, partly because it gives me such a great sense of accomplishment. I always take a jump rope along when I travel. It’s light and easy to pack, and you can exercise in your hotel room (at least until the people in the floor below call the front desk to complain, LOL!).
I love squats, and I love lunges. It’s all about your legs, your hamstrings, and especially your booty.
Planks are awesome. Everyone needs to do planks. And you’ve got to hold your position even when your entire body is shaking from the effort, because that’s how you know it’s working.
I love weight machines—all of them—and I especially love to box. Boxing is a great stress reliever, but it also totally shreds your back and your arms and makes for an all-around great upper-body workout.
At the end of the day, though, if you ask me what my favorite part of my workout is, I can tell you in one word: sweating. It’s like all the poisons and all the bad feelings are pouring out of your body. And it’s funny, because I was in Australia recently and signed up for a Pilates class, and an hour later the class was over and I hadn’t seen so much as a single drop of perspiration! All I could think was “How is this over? What a waste of an hour!”
I like sweating so much, in fact, that I’ve gotten into indoor cycling lately, partly because that bicycle makes me sweat like you wouldn’t believe. Being soaked is a good thing, people!
I also find ways to stay active outside the gym. My mom has a trampoline at her house, for example, for the nieces and nephews, and I’m on there with them all the time. I’m also the one who is always pushing friends and family to play touch football or soccer or volleyball or whatever. And if I can’t corral enough people for a game, I like to hike. I live in a neighborhood with lots of hills and nice places to walk, and now that Kim’s pregnant again, she loves to join me. It’s mellow and you’re outdoors; since Kim isn’t as deeply committed to sweating as I am, it is perfect for her.
I love to swim, too. At the end of the day, swimming is probably one of the best exercises you can do. If you don’t believe me, look at a swimmer’s body, male or female. Strength, tone, and beauty all wrapped up in one gorgeous package.
Five Simple Rules to Get You Started with Exercise
Start small. If you haven’t exercised in a while, try a brisk walk around the block and build your stamina slowly. If you like hiking, the same advice goes: Start on the mellow hills and keep reaching for new heights.
Find something you enjoy. If you don’t like lifting weights, stay away from them. If you don’t like treadmills, find another way to get your cardio. I like jumping rope. I like the hula hoop. I like boxing. I like strength training. I like pelvic curls (great for both your stomach and back). I like heel beats (one of the best exercises for your butt). You won’t stick with the program unless you’re having at least a little fun. And mix it up! Varying your workouts keeps things interesting and exciting and helps you stay on track.
Challenge yourself. There’s a point where having fun isn’t going to be enough. You have to push yourself to get real results, and the more you push, the stronger you’ll get. I didn’t like crunches and leg lifts when I started out, but now I love them. I didn’t like lunges, squats, push-ups, curls, shoulder presses, or high kicks, but I do now.
Repetition is key. Consistent exercise is transformational. And guess what? Sometimes it hurts. But that’s when you know you’re getting actual results. When it stops hurting, it’s time to add another ten pounds to the weight machine, run that extra mile, or hike to the top of the next hill.
You’re tougher than you think. The moment you feel like quitting is the right moment to keep going. Trust me, you are going to surprise yourself. There’s a cardiovascular exercise I absolutely love called 10-20-30 training (or more accurately, 30-20-10, but that name doesn’t have a sexy ring). It goes like this: If you’re running or on the treadmill or on an elliptical/bike/rowing machine, you push yourself for 30 seconds, push even harder for the next 20 seconds, and in the final 10 seconds push so hard you think you are going to explode. This is one of the best interval workouts ever! Not only do you burn calories faster, but you build endurance, and, most important, you realize what you’re capable of. You’ll be surprised. The only inspiration you will need to keep going is you.
Gunnar Peterson
Author of The Workout: Core Secrets from Hollywood’s #1 Trainer
For most people, the single biggest challenge for getting into shape boils down to motivation. If you’re not motivated, nothing good is going to happen.
And it’s funny, because I often hear trainers talking about the way they motivate their clients, and I honestly don’t get it. What do they tell them? “Hey, let’s not forget to do our sit-ups tomorrow!” That doesn’t mean much to anyone. If you’re not motivated, you’re not going to do your sit-ups. And if you are motiva
ted, you don’t need an outsider to remind you. You are going to do them because you want to do them.
That’s pretty much what happened with Khloé. I had known her and other members of her family for many years—her mother is a longtime client of mine, as is her sister Kim—and Khloé decided she wanted to get serious about her body. When we talked about it, I told her that one of the most important elements I could provide was consistency: that my gym would serve as a little fortress, and that I’m always there for her, holding down the fort. I do this for all of my clients. Los Angeles is a very transient city—here today, gone tomorrow—and many people are looking for a routine that truly anchors them. I try to provide this. When my clients are here, everything falls by the wayside—agents, deals, studios, friendships, marriages, etc.—and they can focus on getting strong.
But truth be told, this isn’t just about my gym. I think any gym anywhere in the country can serve the same function. It’s really about mind-set. If you make the commitment, if you go two, three, four times a week, the gym will eventually become part of your daily routine, maybe even the most enjoyable part. And if you’re truly committed, you will eventually get to a place where you actually miss not getting your exercise, which is exactly what happened with Khloé.
When Khloé shows up at the gym, we have certain routines. We might work on her arms or on her abs, and I’m there to push her a little, but she seldom needs pushing. I’m there to structure the workout—the volume, the pace, the sequencing, and the movements. But I don’t have to be a cheerleader because she’s already motivated, already driven to be her absolute best, so mostly we talk about specific goals and about the routines that are going to get her there as quickly and as efficiently as possible (Or not. Sometimes the conversation isn’t even exercise-related, which many clients find refreshing.) My job is to focus on results. It is also my job to create an environment where she can enjoy the journey. At my gym, the temperature is always right, I play music that works for the client, the machines are clean, and I’m there from 4:45 a.m. till nightfall—holding down the fort!
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