by Heather Long
“Only sometimes?” I mused aloud. “I must be falling down on the job.”
She snorted and then sighed. “You guys are really going to move, aren’t you?”
At the abrupt subject change, I paused with the chip halfway to my mouth. “Yeah, we’re going to for college, but it’s not like we won’t come back to visit.”
“So a couple of weeks here and there? And will you come back if Frankie cuts all ties with her mom?”
“Frankie still loves you too,” I reminded her. “And Bubba and Jake both have families here too. Besides, even if they didn’t, I’m not going to not be here.”
“You weren’t here for Christmas,” she stated, glaring at me. “This is like Dad all over again, only in slow motion.”
I stuffed the chip in my mouth to chew rather than answer her right away. The therapy sessions had been peeling the scabs off a lot of emotional wounds, most of them infected and refusing to heal. “Sis,” I said slowly. “The game plan has always been us going off to college. It’s what you do after you graduate high school if you have specific plans.”
“I know.”
“And we were always planning on going to school out of state.”
“I know.” She glared at me. “But you spend all of your time with Frankie. You spent Christmas with her. You’re going to move away with her and then she’s gonna be your family, and where does that leave us?”
“First of all,” I said, holding her gaze. “Frankie was already family. Frankie has been family for years.”
Expression crumpling, she let out a miserable, “I know. I’m not really mad at her but…this whole thing with Dad. He left and we barely get to see him. Now you’re going to leave. Then it’s just me and Mom.”
“Sis, I don’t care where we move or go to school, I’m still your brother. You can call me or text me, we can video chat. Though based on your recent schedule, you’re usually too busy to hang out with me without a lot of arm twisting.”
Her cheeks pinkened, even as she swiped at the tears.
“And Dad leaving—that’s between him and Mom. You still see Dad every other weekend, and if you want to spend more time with him, then say something.”
“You don’t want to spend the time with him though,” she pointed out. “So if I say I want more, then it’s like I’m having to choose between all of you.”
Deep breath. I fisted my temper and shoved the whole thing in a box. I could punch my dad and his wandering dick right now, but that wasn’t what Trina needed. Nudging my plate out of the way, I rested my forearms on the table and leaned forward. She needed one hundred percent of my focus and to know I heard her.
“We’re your family, for better or worse, and we’re always going to be your family. Saying you want more time with Dad doesn’t mean you want less time with me or Mom.”
“Except that’s exactly what it means. If I spend more time with him, it’s less time at home. Mom always looks so sad when I go, and so does Dad.”
“That’s because they both love you. Do I look sad when you go?”
She glared and threw a chip at me. I picked it off my shirt and crunched it with a smile.
“They aren’t sad that you’re leaving one of them to go hang out with the other, they’re just sad you’re going at all. I expect full on waterworks at graduation, and fuck me, it’s going to be bad when we’re packing to go.”
Her eyes welled up, and she sniffed almost indignantly. “Why are you being an ass?”
“I’m not being an ass,” I told her, and I meant it. “I know you’re going to miss me. Even with the way you’re scowling at me right now. Did it occur to you that I’m probably going to miss you and Mom too?”
That earned a slow blink, and she took a long drink of her soda before swiping carefully at her eyes. The hints of black eyeliner smudging with her fingers made me want to sigh. When did she start wearing make up?
“I’m going to be a thousand miles away and some boy is going to ask you out, and I’ll have to find a way to fly back here and kick his ass and get back in time for classes. It’s going to be a whole thing.”
A real laugh escaped her, even as she rolled her eyes. “You’d totally send Jake.”
“Probably,” I agreed. “But I’ll always be a phone call away, and if you really need me, I’m going to be here.”
She sniffed. “I guess you going will help my dating life.”
“That’s it, you’re coming with us. We’ll get an extra room for you so I can keep an eye on any boys. Though we may need to get you earplugs.”
“Oh God, you are so gross.” Any sign of tears vanished as she flung another chip at me. “I take it back, I can’t wait for you to move out.”
Chuckling, I nudged her plate toward her. “Awesome. Do you want to try and finish that, or do you want me to go grab us some hot plates since ours got cold?”
“Hot plates?” She looked so hopeful, I just grinned.
“On it.”
When I slid out of the booth, she called, “Tamales and rice—and guacamole.”
“I know,” I said over my shoulder. I knew exactly what she liked. I went through the line again and got her a little extra of each, including some refried beans. I wanted some myself, but Frankie would kill me so I left them. For now.
Back at the table, she put her phone down as I set the new plate in front of her. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, Mom just wanted to know where we were since we weren’t at home.”
“She wants us to bring food home for her.”
Trina pointed her forefinger at me and cocked her thumb like a gun. “Yep.” This time at least, when she dug into the food, she ate it with some actual gusto. And she talked about a lot of stuff and nothing. School. Her friends. What she’d like to do with her weekends with Dad. Saving up for driver’s ed. What they were going to do for a car when I left and wasn’t there to ferry her around.
It was nice. I offered helpful suggestions, mostly involving the boys she listed on her friends list, but the tears were gone from her eyes and she was definitely more upbeat. Only when we were in the car and on the way back with dinner for Mom did I bring us back to the topic.
“I need you to do me a favor.”
“Depends,” she answered. “I don’t want to clean the bathroom this week. It’s your turn, even if you use Frankie’s more than ours.”
“That’s fine, I already said I’d stick to my half of the chores, though you’ll have to get used to doing without me soon enough.” It was testing the waters, and she shrugged.
“I’m starting to see the upside of it.”
“Brat.”
“Pfft. What’s the favor?”
“Don’t bottle this shit up,” I told her. “Don’t suck it in so deep and not say anything that you make yourself miserable. You’ve been upset about this for weeks, and instead of talking to me or to Mom or even the therapist about it, you’ve just been stewing on it and hurting yourself. I need you to talk to me before things get bad. Yell at me. Throw something at my head. But talk to me and let me help. Can you do that?”
A long, almost thoughtful sigh, and she didn’t answer me immediately. I’d rather she took the time to think about it, so I didn’t push her. She made me wait until I parked before she answered too.
Little shit.
“I’ll try,” she said finally. “I don’t think I really knew what was upsetting me before you made me go eat and I didn’t want to be there. Then I was mad at you for making me spend the time, and that didn’t make any sense that I was mad at you for leaving and for making me spend time with you.” She shot me an apologetic look.
“It’s all good. I’m your brother, I have to love you, even when you’re a brat. It’s in my contract.”
“Ass,” she growled, laughing as she got out of the car. I walked her to the apartment with the food.
“Piece of advice,” I offered as I held the food over for her to take. She didn’t even question it. I was going to go
check on Frankie, period. “Go in there and talk to Mom like you talked to me. Tell her how you’re feeling and listen to her if she tells you how she is. Then do the same with Dad.”
Our breath was visible in the chilly air. “Are you going to talk to Dad?”
“I have,” I told her. “He knows exactly how I feel. But my relationship with Dad, or Mom for that matter, isn’t yours. You are entitled to the relationship you want with them. Just don’t shut us out. We’re here for you, Sis, all of us.”
She threw herself at me, and I wrapped my arms around her for a hug. Trina hadn’t wanted a hug from me in a long time. While she shrugged away soon enough, I still ruffled her hair.
“Love you, Sis.”
“Only because you have to,” she teased, and I grinned.
“I know,” I retaliated. “What’s your excuse?”
That earned me a real laugh, and then she let herself into the apartment and I waited for the door to close before I headed toward Frankie’s place. Our place really. We’d all pretty much half-moved in. Archie had been there every night that week, and none of us said a word about it. He needed her. Right now, she needed him. Like I told Trina, it didn’t mean she wanted less time with the rest of us.
Inside, I caught the scent of her shampoo and a hint of Chinese takeout. There was a note on the fridge that said there was plenty if anyone was hungry. I dropped my shit on the sofa and headed back to the bedroom. Most of the lights were out, and it was quiet. Frankie and Archie were sound asleep when I glanced in.
It took me no time to shrug down to my boxers and brush my teeth before I eased in on her other side. She stirred when my leg brushed hers, nose crinkling.
“Cold.”
“Sorry,” I whispered. “Go back to sleep.” But instead of scooting away from me, she curled closer and tucked her head against my chest. My heart squeezed as I buried my nose in her hair.
Home.
Thinking About It Every Day
“I don’t know what to do with that,” I admitted. “I like most of the parts of my life right now. Do I want to disrupt that with adding someone else?”
“That’s a question only you can answer.” Erin set her pen down on the pad she often took notes on and folded her hands together. “When you first started coming here, we talked about your attack, how you were recovering, the upheaval with your mother, and your relationships with the men in your life.”
Men in my life. I almost smiled. Not once had Erin been judgmental on that front. And while I still thought of them as the boys, I guess men was more appropriate. “It feels like we’ve talked about a lot in the last few months.”
“That’s part of what these sessions are for,” Erin offered with a small smile. “Your emancipation hearing is next week?”
I nodded. “That’s why I canceled the session for that day. I don’t know how long it will take.”
She nodded. “I’m going to keep the hour set aside, even if you just want to call me and have the session on the phone.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. Normally at this point, I like to gauge whether a client wants to continue and to assess how far we’ve come. But I think I’d like you to answer that for me. Are these sessions helping you?”
“You don’t think they are?” My gut dropped as I frowned.
“I didn’t say that,” she scolded in the gentlest tone. “I’m asking you if you find these sessions helpful.”
“Even when I leave with more to think about than when I came in,” I said slowly. “Yeah, I find them helpful. The guys are great about never asking me about what we talk about. I know they’ll listen if I want to talk, but sometimes…sometimes I feel like I complain a lot. It’s hard, because I don’t want to be the one they always have to fix things for.”
Archie loved to fix things. Coop was always there with a smile and comfort. Jake charged through my defenses and dared me to step outside my comfort zones. But never alone. They were always there. And Ian…
I blew out a breath. He blanketed me in this feeling of security I didn’t fully understand and let me just let go. “I feel like I should be doing more for them. They do so much for me, and they…they agreed to this unconventional relationship.” A little laugh escaped. “You know, I think about that every day, about how lucky I am that I didn’t lose them. That they didn’t give up on me. Some days, it’s harder to balance than others, but the last few months would have been unbearable without them, and even in the middle of all this paternity drama…”
When had my life become such a soap opera?
Hands spread, I lifted my shoulders. “They make me laugh. They let me cry. They hold my hand when I need it and let me punch things when I need that. Sometimes, they’re just there, and my day is better because I know they’re there.”
“How would you feel about having them come in for a session with you?”
What?
I blinked at her. “Like all four of them?”
“You’re in a relationship with all four, so yes.” Nothing in her relaxed manner changed. “I like to meet with the significant others of my patients from time to time, because it helps me get a feel for where you all are and how that affects you. It also…it’s also sometimes easier to tackle some of these subjects you’re hesitant about in a controlled setting.”
“Erin? How did we go from talking about my paternity drama to whether I wanted to do a group session with the guys?” And nope, I did not just say that ’cause I swore my mind flew straight to a much dirtier place than this office. Despite the flush creeping up my neck and super heating my cheeks, I resisted the urge to hide my face.
The quirk of her lips told me she didn’t miss the suggestion, but thankfully, she was way too professional to tease me about it. “Because you’ve been making life decisions and you take their feelings into account on several of these issues. Bringing them in for a session isn’t my way of suggesting something is wrong, but rather another tool in your toolbox of support. You don’t have to bring them…and before you ask me why not bring them one at a time, it’s because this relationship you’ve built rests on the foundation of all five of you, of the friendship you share.”
I put my hands over my mouth as I leaned forward, elbows on my knees. They’d come if I asked them. No doubt existed within me. “Can I think about it?”
“Absolutely, and now, for some homework since I won’t be seeing you next week…”
Oh.
Goody.
Normally, I liked homework.
Chapter Twelve
Pelvic Sorcery and Wicked Ties
Jake
“This isn’t going bowling,” Frankie chastised me from the backseat, and I shot a grin at her over my shoulder before holding a hand out to Bubba.
“Five bucks, pay up.”
He laughed and slapped the cash against my palm. “Jackass.”
“What bet?” Frankie asked.
“I told Bubba you wouldn’t let me get away with it for five minutes, and he thought you’d indulge me for at least fifteen.”
“Oh, I hate you both,” she declared before flopping back in the seat, arms folded.
“Now, Baby Girl, you know you love us.” I grinned, flicking a look at her in the rearview mirror. She stuck her tongue at me, even as her eyes danced when the headlights from traffic illuminated them. The demo class at the club was the first one we’d all been available to attend. “Anyway, Bubba already went over the rules earlier. We’ll be on our best behavior when we get there.”
Before then, everything was fair game. While I might be teasing Bubba, I had no intentions of making her feel bad about anything. It had been a long couple of weeks since our aborted Valentine’s Day date and the wrecked few days that followed. Even after getting the DNA test results, there’d been something infinitely fragile and strained about the air around Frankie and Archie.
We all felt it. Archie had spent nearly every single night with her, and none of us complained. Though Coop, the fuc
ker, had started sliding in there too. I’d managed a couple of nights, and Bubba had gotten one. Most of the time, we slept in the other room, but some nights, I just wanted to be next to her. At the same time, I couldn’t begrudge Archie holding on quite as tightly as he was. The fear of losing her had been real.
The fear of what those fuckers would pull next was also real. That was the other thing, the unspoken thing—since our visit to New York and his mother then his father at the golf course, we hadn’t heard from any of the parents in the equation.
They could have tried to call Frankie, I supposed, but she’d blocked their numbers. At least the numbers we had for them. Considering the Standishes could probably afford a phone company, I doubted those were the only numbers they had.
The court date, however, was in three days. If they were going to do anything, it would probably be then. All of us were blowing off school to go with her. Spring break was right around the corner, and Archie had already made plans. Shocker, right?
“Are you sure they’re meeting us?” Frankie asked from the backseat, and Bubba twisted to glance back at her.
“Yes, Angel, I’m sure. Archie had something he wanted to finish, and Coop was getting in a partial shift before they head over. I made sure they had the address and,” he continued, holding up one finger, “I checked twice.”
“And Archie doesn’t mind?” There it was, that note of worry that crept in. It was almost adorable how much those two worried about each other, as if it wasn’t also brutal for them. I glanced at Bubba, but his expression didn’t tighten or change. If anything, it just relaxed more.
“Not that he told me, Angel. He said he’d come and listen and learn.”
“Okay.”
But that okay lacked a certain amount of confidence, and I flexed my fingers on the steering wheel. Punching women was not okay. That said, I wanted to punch Maddy for every single uneven note that left Frankie’s lips. Archie was waiting on going after his father, even if every ticking second wore at him. He waited. Frankie waited with him.