by A. Zavarelli
I’d show her it didn’t always have to be that way. I could bend. A little. Maybe. Okay, I’d try.
Better?
I retrieved my phone and scrolled through the contacts until I found my publicist. Sophia’s Shoes was important to Brighton. Possibly, it was important to me too. I hadn’t a strong opinion on that yet. Either way, I’d throw everything I had at this.
Chapter Ten
Brighton
It had been a week since I’d last seen him. The hole in my heart was growing bigger every day, along with our baby.
I didn’t know if this pain was ever going to end, but I wished it would. I wished that I could forget him. That I could just stop loving him. A part of me wondered if he and Brayden were still trying to tear each other apart, but I wouldn’t let myself think about it. I couldn’t. It wasn’t safe, and it wasn’t healthy.
So when my phone rang, and it registered Brayden’s number, I didn’t pick up. Since I’d been released from the hospital, the only person I wanted to talk to was Nicole.
The phone went to voicemail, only to start ringing again. And again. And by the fourth time, I couldn’t ignore the tightness in my chest as I answered.
“Hello?”
“Brighton,” Brayden breathed a sigh of relief. “Please don’t hang up.”
“I’m not,” I said quietly. “Not yet, anyway.”
“I know things have been crazy. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to.”
I sighed and rubbed my tired eyes. “What is it?”
“Norma-Jean has been missing for over a month now,” he said. “I think… I think Ryland might have…”
“Just stop,” I grated. “Don’t finish that sentence.”
Brayden did as I requested though I could tell by his breathing he was irritated.
“How do you know she’s missing?” I asked calmly. Too calmly. I was getting far too used to calls of this nature.
“Because I haven’t heard from her,” he groused. “Her phone’s disconnected, and nobody else has seen her either.”
“She said she was staying with a cousin in Springfield.” My voice was light though the feeling in my gut wasn’t as positive.
“Yeah, I’ve talked to her,” Brayden replied. “She said she was there for a week and then she split. Hasn’t heard from her since.”
I wrung my hands together as I paced back and forth in the tiny apartment I shared with Nicole. After paying the rent for the next six months in advance, I’d been living off fumes. I didn’t have enough money to get to Illinois. I would have borrowed the money from Nicole if I could, but she didn’t have it either. We were both in the same boat, and it was sinking fast.
But there was one option, even though I didn’t want to use it.
I pulled out the credit card with both Ryland’s name and mine printed on it and glared at it for a long pause.
“Are you still there?” Brayden asked.
“Yes,” I answered. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I hung up the phone and started to look at flights. As I typed the credit card number into the payment box, I told myself that even if I had to start scrubbing toilets for a living, I would find a way to pay it back.
***
When I walked down to the curb an hour later, I was shocked as hell to see Ted standing there as if he were waiting for me.
“What are you doing here?” I glanced around suspiciously.
“Mr. Bennett isn’t here,” he said quickly, and obviously under instruction. “But he sent me to see that you are escorted to see your mother safely.”
“Excuse me?” I winced. “But how…”
The credit card.
Of course, he knew what I was booking the flight for. And if he didn’t have my address before, I’d just handed it to him on a silver platter. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Where is she?” I demanded.
Ted held up his hands in mock surrender. “I can assure you, she’s safe and sound. I’m only here to drive you, Miss Valentine. So if you’ll please get in the car…”
I crossed my arms and glared. “How do I know I can trust you to take me to her?”
Poor Ted didn’t stand a chance against my hormones or my emotions today.
“I guess you don’t know for certain,” he admitted. “But I give you my word if that makes any difference.”
He looked so distraught that I’d lashed out at him that I felt a little bad. So reluctantly, I climbed into the car.
“Okay, but I swear to you Ted, if I see Ryland, I have the police on speed dial.”
“I don’t doubt that, Miss.” He bowed his head and shut the door.
Like the handful of other times he’d driven me, he put on some soothing classical music. It did nothing to calm me as I bounced my knee up and down on the leather seat impatiently. We drove through the city and started to wind our way into a more suburban area where the houses became fewer and farther apart. It was making me nervous, and I clutched my phone as I called out to Ted.
“This isn’t the way to the airport.”
“No, Miss Valentine, it isn’t,” he replied calmly. “Your mother is here in California. Please, just be patient.”
Being patient was the last thing I wanted to do. And Norma in California? I was going to have to see it to believe it. But I held on for a little longer, at least until we pulled up to a gated area of some sort of mansion in the hills.
“What is this place?” I asked.
Ted didn’t hear me as he spoke into the intercom. Whatever he said caused the gate to swing open, and he drove right on through. The car stopped in a circular drive surrounded by greenery and an ornate water fountain out the front. Whatever this place was, it was too big to be a house, but it didn’t look like a hotel either. Ted got out to open my door and gestured me towards the large glass doors at the top of the staircase.
“I’ll be waiting here for you Miss.”
“But… I don’t even know what this place is,” I protested.
A strange woman walked by and gave me a little wave, followed by a few other people I didn’t recognize. They were all dressed in nice clothing, but there was a weird vibe about the whole place that made me hesitate.
“I’m under instruction to deliver you here,” Ted explained. “And to wait as long as you need.”
Clearly, he didn’t know what was going on either. So I wrapped my cardigan around myself with a huff and walked up the large stone stairs, pushing open the glass door. It resembled a luxury hotel inside, with a large reception desk right at the front. I walked up nervously, and a woman with blonde hair and a friendly smile greeted me.
“Can I help you?”
“Um, I’m not really sure,” I said. “I’m here to see Norma-Jean Richmond.”
“Ah, of course.” She tapped away at the computer. “I’ll call her down for you.”
I stood awkwardly off to the side, not really sure what to expect while I waited. As I looked around, I saw more faces I didn’t recognize, but eventually, there was one I did. It was an actual celebrity from a reality TV show.
I tried to keep my mouth from dropping open when he winked at me and sauntered by.
“He’s a looker, huh?” Norma’s voice interrupted from behind me. “A real nice guy too.”
I spun around in shock and thought the floor was about to give out on me. Because there in front of me was my mother, but I hardly recognized her.
In place of her sunken eyes, two vibrant green orbs stared back at me. Her skin had a strange glow to it, and I could almost swear even some of her wrinkles had disappeared. Her hair was shiny, and instead of being styled into its usual rat’s nest, it fell in soft waves around her shoulders. But it was the extra fifteen pounds added to her frame that really had me doing a double take.
Not to mention the clothes she was wearing. Gone were the cheap white heels and too large jeans. There wasn’t a frill in site on her beige sweatshirt or khaki pants. She looked like a… well, l
ike a mom.
“What happened to you?” I blurted.
“What’s the matter?” she chuckled. “Don’t recognize your old mother?”
There was a kindness in her eyes I hadn’t seen in years, and an evenness in her voice I’d never heard at all. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. She understood that I was in shock as she gripped me by the arm and gently led me away.
“Let’s go out to the garden,” she suggested. “Get some fresh air.”
I followed her soundlessly, the wheels turning in my brain as I tried to come to grips with whatever horrible thing Ryland had done to my mother. But no matter which way I spun it, I couldn’t process it.
Norma helped me to sit down in a deck chair before taking a seat in one across from me. The scent of flowers and fresh water invaded my nostrils, and I was sure the garden was beautiful, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Norma.
“I’m clean,” she began, folding her hands across her lap like a proper lady. “One month. I know it’s not much, and I still have a long way to go, but it’s a start.”
“This is where you’ve been for the last month?” I looked around again, finally understanding this was a rehab center. One that, from the looks of it, must have cost a fortune.
“It sure is.” She laughed. “Can you believe it? Me living amongst the rich and famous?”
“But… how?”
“Ryland,” she said quietly.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.”
“Language,” she scolded.
“Oh c’mon Norma,” I retorted. “Don’t start acting like a mother now.”
She flinched at my words, and I mentally slapped myself, feeling like the worst daughter in the world.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s just… I didn’t expect this, and I’m a little confused.”
“It’s okay.” She nodded. “One of the things they’ve been teaching us here is to accept responsibility for our actions. And I’m not going to deny that I’ve been a less than stellar mother to you and Brayden.”
Again, my mouth was doing that thing. Opening and closing, but no sound was coming out.
“But I do love you,” she continued. “And I want to be a part of your life, Brighton. You and Brayden are more important to me than the drugs or the booze, and it took Ryland to help me see that.”
“But… how?” I asked again.
“He opened up to me.” She shrugged. “Told me the cold, hard truth. And I felt like such an idiot for playing right into his hands. I felt weak. I was weak. But when he told me what happened to his family, and how much pain he was in, I never wanted you or Brayden to feel that way. He gave me a choice. He handed me a one-way ticket to this place, and a needle with enough drugs to take down a horse. He said it was my decision to make, but that he wasn’t going to watch me hurt you anymore.”
“Jesus, Norma,” I sputtered.
“He was right,” she said. “All I’ve been doing is hurting the people I love. For so many years because I couldn’t see past my own misery. Losing Frankie, and then thinking he was going to come take you two away from me whenever he saw fit, well it scared the living hell out of me. I guess I tried to disconnect from all of it in the best way I knew how.”
“So you really… you gave it all up,” I said.
“I’m trying my best, Brighton.” She stared down at her linked fingers with watery eyes. “But I’m not going to make any promises other than to say that I’m going to keep on trying. Ryland’s a good man for helping me this way, though he doesn’t want to admit it himself. He’s filled with so much pain though that I worry. I worry about you with him. But he’s come to see me a couple of times, and it seems like he’s trying too.”
“He has?” I asked. “He came to visit you?”
She nodded, wiping away the tears from her eyes. “He seems lonely. Misses you a lot.”
“Oh.” I glanced down at my shoes. “Well, I’m really glad you’re here, and that he’s helping you this way, but it doesn’t change anything between me and Ryland.”
“He told me that’s what you’d say.” She smiled. “But he wants to Brighton. He wants you to hear him out.”
“So that’s what this is all about?” I crossed my arms and started to close myself off again, thinking it had all been some sort of trick.
“No.” Norma shook her head. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything either way. But you know I’ve never been good at holding my tongue.”
I blinked up at her and held back a sob as she leaned forward and clasped my hand in hers. It was the closest she’d come to motherly affection in as long as I could remember.
“I’m the last person to give advice,” she said. “But if I can tell you one thing, Brighton, it’s that Ryland loves you with all of his heart. He loves you so much that he put aside his feelings about me to do what he thought would make you happy. And I think that speaks for itself.”
I knew Norma didn’t know all the details of what had transpired, but I wasn’t going to bring them up either.
“But what about him and Brayden?” I asked. “They’re both being completely crazy. I can’t take it anymore.”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You’ll have to work that out with them. All I’m saying is I think that you should hear Ryland out. See what he has to say.”
“And he didn’t put you up to this?” I asked suspiciously.
“Nope.” She shook her head. “He said he wanted to do things his way. He’s a real control freak, that one.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “You have no idea.”
Chapter Eleven
Brighton
When I got back out to the car, Ryland was waiting for me inside. The divider was up, and I couldn’t see Ted, which was probably for the best. He’d obviously tricked me.
I had no idea how Ryland had even gotten there, but he looked pissed. It didn’t take me long to figure out why.
“Please tell me you aren’t seriously living in that place Ted picked you up.”
I ignored the harshness of his tone and gave him a weak smile.
“Ryland, what are you doing with Norma?”
I knew this was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but it needed to be said.
“I’m trying to help her.” He sighed. “Isn’t that obvious?”
“But why?” I asked. “The last time we spoke, you wanted her dead.”
He actually winced at my words, and it surprised me.
“That was before,” he stated. “Before the… before I almost killed you.”
He couldn’t look at me when he said it, and that same familiar urge to comfort him was there inside of me. I ignored it. Because he was right. He had almost killed me. And if I hadn’t been there that night, I didn’t know if he would have killed Brayden or not.
“I appreciate what you’re doing, Ryland,” I said. “I really do. But I’m sure you can understand how it’s difficult to believe you can just go from wanting someone dead to helping her overnight.”
“I don’t have any ulterior motives,” he assured me. “I only want what’s best for you, Brighton.”
“But what about your family?” I asked. “What about your revenge?”
He reached towards me, clasping my face in his palms. I didn’t stop him this time. I needed to hear what he had to say.
“I didn’t think there was anything I could ever want more than my revenge,” he murmured. “But then I had you.”
I bit my lip as frustration and pain warred inside of me. I wasn’t too proud to admit I was weak. When it came to Ryland, I probably always would be. But I couldn’t stand seeing him so lost. So broken. “You know this doesn’t change anything between us,” I whispered.
“Maybe not today,” he said. “But…”
“Not ever, Ryland,” I cut him off.
He narrowed his eyes and leaned closer, his breath skating across my lips. “I’m not letting you go, baby girl. You need to accept that.”
I had to close
my eyes and take a breath to gather my thoughts. It was the wrong choice because instead, I caught a whiff of his cologne. The scent that I used to associate with comfort. I just wanted to lean into him. To feel his warmth and let him wrap his arms around me. To pretend like the past had never happened and none of the memories that hurt so much ever existed.
But I couldn’t.
“I’m not taking you back,” I insisted. “You need to accept that.”
My words set something off inside of him, and before I even realized what was happening, he pulled me into his lap and crushed my lips against his.
It had been so long since I’d felt them against me. Felt the fire inside of me that only Ryland could stoke. He was like gasoline, and the only thing left to do was combust. So I kissed him back. I gave into his frantic touches and savored them while I could.
His fingers drifted up my thighs, pushing the material of my dress up. And then his palm was rubbing me over my panties. Before my brain could catch up to what was happening, I rocked my hips against him.
It was wrong to lead him on. So, so, wrong.
But I missed this. I missed him. I wanted to allow myself to be weak, just for a few moments. That’s what I told myself while I surrendered.
My lips found his throat and blazed a hot trail up to his jaw while he squeezed the flesh of my ass in his hands. He pushed my panties aside and unzipped himself. I had a moment of panic when I realized what was happening. If I couldn’t resist him now, I didn’t know how I ever would in the future. I tried to pull away.
Ryland gripped me by the arms and growled into my neck. “Don’t deny me what’s mine, Brighton.”
I whimpered when he dragged his teeth along my throat, clamping down when he got to my shoulder. He knew I couldn’t resist that. He knew how wet I was for him. It was always for him.
He gripped my inner thighs and nudged my legs apart, positioning himself at my entrance. He was watching me, his blue eyes searching mine so carefully. He needed to see that I wanted this too. And right then, I couldn’t deny him.