I can’t even spend this much time around Tate without wanting to strangle him.
I’ve always been the kind of guy who needs his own space, but with her…I don’t want to be away from her for longer than necessary.
And the urge to sink my cock deep into her body is stronger than ever. The more I get to know her, the more I want her.
I swear, it’s taking a lion’s strength not to grab her and kiss the hell out of her.
It’s all I think about. Kissing her, tasting her, licking every inch of her skin, watching her come apart in my arms.
In my head, I’ve fucked her in a hundred different ways on every surface of my apartment.
If only I could fuck her for real.
But she’s my employee. And I just can’t do it.
Aside from feeding me amazing food—I swear, I’m going to have to hit the gym so hard when this boot comes off—and taking care of me—helping me out of the bath, and she gave me a shave the other day with an electric, as there was no way I was letting her near me with a wet razor—she’s been running lines with me every day.
But I keep avoiding the sex scene in the script. Because, honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to distinguish fact from fiction if we do read that scene together. And I’ve never had that problem before, but with her…it’ll be a problem. Thank God my PA, Donna, is back from vacation, which means I can get her to run those lines with me when I need her to.
I’m so pent-up with wanting Speedy. I know, if I get anywhere close to acting out a sex scene with her, even with words, I’ll blow like a fucking pressure cooker.
And I don’t like feeling out of control. The way she makes me feel, it’s confusing and not something I’m used to.
I’m always in control. Even in the past, when people might have thought I wasn’t, I was.
I’ve never jerked off as much as I have been with Speedy living under my roof. First thing in the morning. Then, another around lunchtime after watching her sexy ass strut around the apartment all morning. Then, once more right when I’m lying in bed, thinking about her sleeping just down the hall.
And, if it’s a day when she’s been in the pool…well, I have to add an extra jerk in because those tits in a bikini…holy fuck. I’ve never seen anything like them. It’s like they have a life of their own, and their sole purpose is to taunt me.
The instant I see her in her bikini, water dripping from her skin and those perky tits with the nipples saluting me from the confines of the fabric, my cock stands to full attention, raring to go.
I jerk off so much that I’m getting chafing burns. And I haven’t had those since I was a teenager after I discovered online porn.
And, yes, I’m using lube. That’s how hard I’m going at it.
The worse thing is, I can jack off till the cows come home, but it’s not going to fix anything.
I still want to fuck her.
So, I either fuck Speedy or fuck someone else.
And I can’t have sex with her because I pay her a wage.
And the thought of having sex with someone else just doesn’t appeal to me anymore, which is odd in itself. Because that’s never happened to me before.
It’s either Speedy or no one.
“Hey.” She appears in my doorway to check on me before bed, like she has every night since she’s been here.
“Hey.” I smile.
She’s standing there, her hair up in one of those messy buns with loose strands falling around her face, which is free of makeup, as she’s ready for bed. She’s wearing that damn tank and tiny shorts set that she likes to torture me with. She’s got a bra on though, so no nipples show for me tonight.
“Whatcha watching?” She nods in the direction of the TV.
“The Godfather.” It’s showing on Netflix, and it’d be rude not to watch it. Not that I’ve been paying much attention since it started, as my mind has been fixated on that gorgeous creature standing in my doorway.
“Is it good?”
“You’ve never seen it?”
She shakes her head.
“How is that even possible?” I stare at her, wide-eyed.
“I don’t know. I’ve just never gotten around to watching it.”
“One of the greatest films of all time, and you’ve never seen it. And you work in the movie industry.”
“Did work.”
“You work for me. I’m an actor. You still work in the movie industry.” Like I need to remind myself that she works for me.
“Fine, fine.” She steps a little further into my room. “It’s not that I don’t like gangster movies; they’re just not at the top of my list.”
“Don’t tell me; chick flicks are your favorite.”
She huffs at me. “Stereotype much? Actually, I love horror movies and comedies. And haven’t you starred in a bunch of chick flicks? Pot, kettle black.”
“Touché.” I grin. “So, horror movies, huh?”
“Yeah. Like the old-school Freddy Krueger, Jason, Hellraiser movies. I love them.”
Just when I think I have her all figured out, she throws me a curveball, and it makes me just want her all the more.
“You’re weird. You know that, right?”
“Oh, yeah, I totally know.” She smiles.
“Well, weirdo, come and sit your ass down.” I pat the space on the bed next to me. “And let me educate you in the greatness that is the Godfather movies.”
Her lips lift at the corners, and then she pads across the room. Coming around to the other side of the bed, she climbs up and sits back against the headboard, her legs stretched out in front of her.
Okay, so maybe inviting her onto my bed wasn’t the best idea. Because, now, I’ve got the scent of apples filling my nose, and those smooth, silky bare legs are right in my line of sight.
Torture, sheer torture.
I need a distraction.
“Where’s Gucci?” I ask.
“She’s just in the kitchen, having a late-night snack.”
Only her goat would be having a late-night snack.
“You wanna get her?”
She turns her head and looks at me. There’s a warmth in her eyes that makes me feel weightless for a moment.
“You sure?”
“At least, if she’s in here, then I can keep an eye on her.”
She smiles, like she’s onto me, and then calls for Gucci.
The goat appears seconds later, running straight into my bedroom and up onto the bed. She flops down at Speedy’s feet, laying her head on them.
I stare down at the goat. “Um, Speedy?”
“Do you want me to move her off the bed?”
“No, she’s fine,” I say. I’m clearly going soft in my old age. “And I don’t even know why I’m asking this because I’ll probably get a stupid answer in response…but what the fuck is Gucci wearing?”
She sits up, beaming. “Oh, pajamas. I found them on Amazon. Aren’t they just the cutest?”
“No. She looks fucking ridiculous.” I zero in on them. “Are those…strawberries on them?”
“And little pink flowers. I thought they were super cute, and she seems to love them.”
“You do actually realize that she’s a fucking goat. She has a built-in coat. Therefore, she doesn’t need pajamas to sleep in.”
Her eyes narrow at me. “So? I don’t need pajamas to sleep in, but I still wear them.”
And, now, I’m imagining her without her pajamas on.
Naked Speedy.
And…now, my cock’s decided to join the party.
Great. Just fucking great.
I sigh.
She flops back onto her pillows. “God, you’re so grouchy at times.”
“Yeah, and you’re fucking ridiculous.”
I turn my head to her, my face unable to keep the smile off it.
She returns that smile with one that I feel is like her dainty hand curling around my hard cock.
“You putting this movie back to the beginning
, so I can watch from the start?” she asks in a soft voice.
And, because I love tormenting myself with her presence, I put the movie back to the beginning and press play. I reach over and turn my bedside lamp off because movies are always better in the dark.
Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Evans.
Then, I settle back on my pillows to watch one of the best movies ever made with the object of my desire lying right next to me.
Gabe
I wake to the smell of apples and a warm body curled up against mine.
Speedy.
My arm is around her, her head on my shoulder, her arm resting on my stomach, her leg slung over my left one. Her steady, even breaths tell me she’s sleeping.
I’m guessing she wouldn’t be lying on me like this if she were awake.
The TV is still on, but the movie has long since finished. Gucci is asleep at the bottom of the bed. I have no clue what time it is. But I don’t want to move in case I wake Speedy up.
I’m not ready to let her go just yet.
We must have fallen asleep while watching the film. Fuck knows how we ended up lying together in this position, but fuck if I’m not happy about it.
Having her in my arms with her body draped over mine like this…it’s the sweetest kind of hell. And it’s a hell I’d happily spend an obscene amount of time in.
Who knew holding a woman like this, without being inside her, could feel so good?
I’ve always gotten off and then got off with every woman I’ve slept with, no matter the circumstance.
No cuddling. And definitely no attachments.
Speedy is the first woman I’ve actually slept with without screwing first.
I glance down at her face.
Her eyes are closed, lashes brushing her cheekbones.
Fuck, she’s pretty. Perfect. Beautiful.
I can’t stop looking at her.
And, right now, I don’t have to. I can freely stare at her without fear of being caught.
Her rosy lips are full and plump, like she’s just been kissed. And she should be kissed, all the time, by me.
Freckles that I’ve never noticed before dust the bridge of her pert little nose. A tiny mole is near the corner of her right eye. A small scar on her chin looks like a chicken pox mark.
My fingers itch to touch her. To see if her skin is as soft as it looks.
But I can’t. I shouldn’t.
But just one little touch can’t hurt, right?
I lift a hand to her face and brush the tips of my fingers over her cheek and to her forehead. I brush the stray strands of hair off her face. Then, I move the backs of my fingers down her other cheek to her jaw where I trace my fingertips along it, stopping near her mouth. My thumb hovers dangerously close.
I can feel her warm breath on my skin.
I wonder how she tastes.
Fuck, I want to know so badly.
My mouth is dry with longing. Constant longing. And wanting her.
It’s driving me insane.
Look how bad it’s gotten. Like a total creeper, I’m touching up her face while she sleeps.
I withdraw my hand and force myself to look away. I take a deep breath.
“Gabe.”
The word is so quietly spoken, I think I imagined it.
Until I look back to her and see her eyes are open.
And filled with need. They mirror my own.
God, I want her.
Her hand comes up and caresses my cheek.
“Ava.” Her name comes out like a warning. A warning I don’t mean.
She traces her fingertip across my lips, leaving a path of fire in her touch.
I cup her cheek and press my forehead to hers as I try to control my feelings.
“Kiss me,” she whispers.
Those two words.
Two fucking words.
And I’m undone.
My mouth crashes onto hers, and she immediately opens for me on a gentle moan that I feel all the way down to my cock.
My tongue sweeps inside her mouth.
Just one taste. And that’s it. I’ll stop after one taste of her.
I pull the tie from her hair, and my fingers slip inside the silky strands. I angle her head, so I can kiss her deeper.
Her hand is on my chest, sliding up, moving over the T-shirt I really wish I weren’t wearing right now and around to the back of my neck. Her leg shifts up mine.
With my other hand, I grab the back of her thigh and move her leg higher. I can feel the heat from her pussy against my thigh, through her clothes and mine.
I want to lick her, taste her, and hear her screaming my name.
I lick her mouth like I want to do to her pussy.
I’m burning. I’m an inferno. I’m out of control.
And I’m never out of control.
But, fuck, she feels good. Too good.
My tongue is plundering her mouth. My hand is moving higher up her thigh, and those soft whimpers that she makes with each climb of my hand are just fueling me on.
I don’t know how to stop. If I can stop.
My cock is like granite in my shorts.
I want to fuck her. I want to do everything to her.
She moves closer, pushing herself against me. My hand leaves her thigh and glides up her waist.
She whimpers when my fingers graze the underside of her tit. Blood roars in my ears.
I cup her tit in my hand, skimming my thumb over her nipple.
She groans and presses her pussy against my thigh, trying to find friction.
I want her tits in my mouth. I want to lick and bite her nipples. Drive her as crazy as she’s been driving me these past couple of weeks.
Her hand moves down my chest. When she reaches the waistband of my shorts, I shudder and kiss her harder.
I want to feel her small hand around my cock.
But, if she touches me, I’ll fuck her. I’m sure of it. I won’t be able to stop once that line has been crossed. Because, for some reason, I have zero fucking control around her.
I need my control back.
Using gargantuan strength, I catch hold of her hand before it can slip around my dick, and I slow down our kiss to a stop.
Her eyes open, rejection and hurt lining them.
The last thing I want to do is hurt her. I can’t hurt her. I won’t hurt her.
I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it.
“We can’t…my foot,” I say.
“Oh. Would it hurt if we…” She leaves the words hanging.
I nod in response.
It’s not a total lie. It does hurt every time I come when I jack off to thoughts of her, and it would probably hurt even more if I fucked her, but it would be more than worth the pain.
That’s not why I stopped.
I stopped because I can’t fuck someone I pay a salary to.
I just can’t.
But, because I’m a masochist and I just can’t help myself, I kiss her one more time.
Just one more taste.
I softly kiss her. Loving the moan that hums from her mouth.
Then, I force myself to stop.
I pull back and wrap my arms around her. She snuggles into me, her head resting on my chest.
I press a kiss to her forehead. “Night, Speedy,” I whisper over her skin.
“Night, Hoppy.”
I smile at her use of that stupid nickname, and then I stare up at the ceiling, knowing I won’t get a second of sleep for the rest of the night.
Not after that. Not with her lying in my arms. And definitely not with me hating on myself for being so fucking weak.
A rule I’ve stuck to for close to a decade, broken, because I’m so desperate for this woman.
Well, at least I didn’t fuck her. So, I guess I have that.
But I have to stay away from her from now on.
Says the man who still has her in his arms.
Tonight. I’ll have tonight, and then tomorrow, things will go
back to how they were.
She takes care of me while I’m stuck with this fucking thing on my leg, and I pay her a wage for doing so.
I’ll go back to jacking off to thoughts of her. I’m definitely going to need to jerk off after this. The chafing on my dick will be immense.
But there will be absolutely no more touching and definitely no more kissing while she works for me.
End of.
Ava
I wake to find Gucci lying asleep where Gabe was last night.
I glance at the clock to see it’s nine thirty. It’s not like me to sleep this late.
Sleeping with Gabe must have done it. I’ve never been so comfortable as I was last night. Helps that his bed is the most comfortable bed ever, but it was him. Being with him. In his arms.
And, holy crap, we kissed!
The memory slams into me, and a big goofy grin appears on my mouth.
I bury my face into the pillow, and I get a strong whiff of Gabe.
When I woke up last night to the feel of his hand touching my face, I thought I was dreaming. Until I opened my eyes and looked at him.
And then I asked him to kiss me. I can’t believe I was so bold!
But then he did, and oh my God…
It was everything and more than I’d thought it would be.
And I’ve thought a lot about Gabe kissing me. Especially since I’ve been living here with him. Well, I’ve thought about more than just kissing.
Let’s just say, my fingers have been busy in bed since I moved in here.
Gabe is an incredible kisser. I’ve never been kissed so thoroughly and with so much passion as he kissed me.
I’ve never felt more wanted.
Not even by Jeremy.
Jeremy is nothing compared to Gabe.
They’re not even comparable.
Gabe is amazing. A jerk at times, but that’s part of the charm. I like everything about him, including his assholish ways.
Actually, I more than like him. And I want him so very badly.
I was gutted that he stopped us last night before we could go any further, but I understood completely. The last thing I want to do is cause his foot any more damage than I already have.
I can wait to sleep with him.
If he wants to, that is.
But, if going by the boner he was sporting last night while kissing me, then I’d say he wants to.
Breaking Hollywood Page 12