“When she lived here, she brought it with her. When we broke up, she decided to move to New York. Taking the piano was too much cost and effort. I just haven’t gotten around to selling it.”
“Lived here? You lived with a woman? When? For how long?” I demand, my hands on my hip and my tone giving away how much I need to know this information. For some reason, not already knowing really irks me.
“You knew I lived with Melody,” he says with a frown. “We broke up a couple years ago. She lived with me for about a year.”
“How long were you dating before you decided to live together?” My voice sounds more accusing than I mean it to, but fucking hell, I’m pissed!
I get that we aren’t a big part of each other’s lives, but how the hell did I miss this important piece of information?
“I don’t know … Maybe a year?” He sounds unsure. I get the feeling he’s unsure about how I’m reacting rather than unsure of his answer.
“You dated a woman for two years and I never even knew about it?” My headache is becoming full-blown again.
“Well, I didn’t keep it a secret from you,” he defends, his jaw ticking with his next words. “I’m sure there are guys you dated that I never knew of.”
He has a point. I barely ever introduced any men I dated to Zander and Joey, and of the few I thought worthy of that, I never cared if Declan was around to meet them. However, I also never moved in with someone. That would indisputably be mentioned if it happened. How did no one blurt out in front of me that Declan was living with someone?
“Is that the only woman you’ve lived with?”
“Other than my grandma, yes.”
“Ever been engaged? Married? How many children do you have?” I ask, meaning it as a joke, though part of me wonders what else I don’t know about Declan.
“No to all three.” He sounds exasperated. “Are you settled in here? I need to go out to check the florist and talk to my cop buddy.”
“How trustworthy is this cop?” I ask. We were all burned quite badly by a trusted officer just a few years ago. Artie’s father, who we all thought we could trust, ended up trying to kill Zander. Therefore, it isn’t surprising that we are all a little nervous around cops. Especially when several were arrested for the mess Ava uncovered around the same time. Zander might have made some friends in law enforcement after that huge drama, but I’m not as ready to forgive and forget.
“He’s good. Now, are you good?”
I glance around the room again and at the welcoming bed I will be curling up on in a few moments, and then I look back over to Declan. “You don’t have to do this,” I say, giving him an out. “I know you’re as hungover as I am. I can get Joey on this. He seemed fine when we were all at the airport. He might even be grateful for an excuse to get away from Kay.”
“No,” Declan quickly disagrees, shaking his head. “I got this. Call me if anything comes up. I’ll bring home some food for dinner. Otherwise, I have some sandwich meat in the fridge. It should still be okay if you get hungry. Bread is in the freezer.”
At the mention of food, my stomach revolts, but I manage a weak nod instead of bringing up the water from earlier. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He sounds genuine as he gives me one last look over before he leaves.
I stand out in the hallway as I watch him grab a new bottle of water, an apple from a rather full fruit bowl, and then leaves.
Usually, I would use this opportunity for the ultimate snoop, but all I want to do is sleep. So, without even removing anything other than my shoes, I collapse on top of the bed and pass out in seconds.
***
When Declan returns hours later, I feel much more human. Finally!
Once I woke up, I showered, snooped around his bathroom to find a bunch of shaving crap; some hair products, which I find a little surprising since Declan doesn’t seem to ever style his mop of hair as far as I am aware; and unsurprisingly, many handfuls of condoms. But there are no girly products anywhere, not left behind by Melody or from any female companions. The bathroom is clean, the toilet the same, and I find the smell of Declan’s aftershave to be heavenly once I open the cap and take a whiff.
I have never gotten close enough to Declan to bother noticing his cologne or smells, but over the course of our time away, I discovered the man smells good. Now I have that in a bottle and take an embarrassing number of sniffs before I manage to put it away.
Now it’s dark outside and my stomach is grumbling for food rather than rebelling at just the thought of it.
I step out into the hallway, wearing sweatpants and a loose T-shirt that can’t stay over both shoulders at the same time. I debated whether I should make some sort of effort because of Declan, but then I dismissed it as stupid. I wouldn’t hesitate to dress this casually with Joey and Zander, so I shouldn’t change just because this is Declan.
“Hey,” Dec says when he sees me enter the kitchen. The smell of greasy, hot food hits me, and I might truly be drooling now. “I picked us up some sandwiches on my way home.”
“What type?”
“I got you a spicy chicken with extra bacon and sauce.” He smiles at my squeal of delight.
It isn’t surprising he knows what I like since I often get food delivered to my desk at work. It is almost always chicken, and I love anything spicy. The extra bacon and sauce is a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.
“I think I might love you!” I say with a jump as I rush to his side to be closer to the food.
Declan laughs as he places my sandwich and fries on a plate, grabbing his own next. Then we sit on stools at his kitchen bar as we both scoff our food in silence.
When I’m over halfway through mine and Declan has finished whatever beef burger he bought himself, he sets his gaze on me and our compatible silence turns a little uneasy.
“I want to apologize for invading your privacy, or at least your parents’. I had no right, and I’m sorry.”
His apology is a surprise. I have to think on it a moment, not actually having thought much about it since I found out. If I hadn’t been hungover and had slept most of the day away, I probably would have let my mind wander to it before now.
“You told me you overheard me talking to Cynthia about not being able to pay a bill. Plus, you saw my car and noticed it was, well, shit.” I hate calling my car that since it was the first big purchase I made with my own money. It doesn’t always run the best, but we have been through a lot together. “And instead of coming to me about that, since you felt an inkling of worry for me, your first thought was to illegally search my parents’ financials?”
Declan hangs his head.
“Why do you think you couldn’t come to me? Why is it that we’ve never been close? I think of Zander and Joey as my brothers. They’ve always been there for me for everything in my life. They helped me move, talk to me about their lives, and listen to me talk about my own. I have sat in bars and given Joey relationship advice, which he has completely ignored. I give Zander shit about Ava, and babysat Jensen more times than I can count. I’m part of their lives. Why am I a stranger in yours?”
He appears surprised by my words, but I know he’s truly thinking about it.
“I don’t know. I’m not a very open person.”
“But shouldn’t I know more about you than a person who dates you for a couple weeks? I know your past because I lived it with you, but I don’t know what you do for fun, I don’t know what your relationship status is, I don’t know what your favorite movie is, or why you hate money so damn much.”
“I don’t hate money!” he quickly argues.
“Well, you definitely hate mine, or at least my parents’.”
“I just don’t like free rides.”
“You haven’t liked me since you set eyes on me back when I was nine,” I point out.
“That had more to do with you being a girl than anything else. I didn’t want you cramping my style.” Declan has a smile in his voice now. “It was n
ever personal.”
“Okay, then when did it become personal?”
He winces at that, but he doesn’t back down like I expect. “I wouldn’t say personal, exactly. I knew your parents hit it rich. I saw their cars get nicer, your house went from average to suddenly having a hot tub, a gardener to do the front and back garden, and you got more toys than you knew what to do with.”
“And that was a bad thing to you?”
“It was when I was living with my grandma, when she had to go from being comfortably retired to working shit jobs to feed me. Some nights, I would go home from Zander’s to an empty fridge and no electricity. I had more cold showers than hot, and I resented that you had it all.”
I hate hearing this, and I hate that I was so oblivious when I was a kid. Looking back, I can see the signs and put things together. Still, I hate that Maude and Declan had to go through any of that. I also feel guilty as hell that I recall many meals Maude cooked for us. They never let their money issues show, and if we had known, then maybe we would have been more sensitive to eating their food.
“Why me? Zander had a nice family, so did Joey and Artie. Why did you pick on me?”
“I don’t know … I guess because they had nice families. You had a rich one.” He shrugs at that, making me angrier.
“My family might have been rich, but I didn’t have some perfect life. My parents left me with my own grandmother when I was fourteen because money was more important to them than I was. Since then, I’ve barely seen them. They try to buy my love, but they have never been there for me.
“You hated how rich my family was? Well, I was jealous of how together Joey, Artie, and Zander’s were. Their parents were present, loving, and cared. Every night, they went home to full houses. I was jealous they had that, but I never resented them for it. I never treated them like shit because of it. I was glad they had that in their life. And even though you guys made sure I had to wait until I left school before I could lose my virginity, since you terrified every single guy in school, I still loved that I had you in my life. I loved that Zander, Artie, and Joey were my brothers. You all made my life less lonely. And it pisses me off that you had to deal with what you did, and that you also let something so stupid come between us.” I’m panting now from my emotional outburst.
“You make it sound so simple,” he growls, stepping away from me to pace the small kitchen. “But we were from different worlds and—”
“And what?” I throw my hands up. “Who gives a shit! You might have thought I was some spoiled little brat, but when did you actually see me act that way? When did I throw money in your face? When did I enter some different world to you that meant I wasn’t right next to you guys?”
He stops pacing to look down at his shoes, and I know I have him. I also feel a lot better that this is all out now.
“I guess I realize now it’s all been stupid, but I’ve felt this way since I was a kid. I never thought to rethink it. I didn’t realize I should,” he quietly admits.
“It didn’t bother you that we fought constantly?”
He gives me a sheepish smile. I have no idea why he’s giving me this look.
“If I’m being honest, I sort of liked that we argued.”
“You did?” I gape, not expecting that answer and not sure how to take it.
“Yeah, it was sort of”—he gulps, his cheeks reddening slightly—“exciting.”
“Exciting?” I can’t believe he’s saying he enjoyed being a dick to me, because that’s basically how he behaved through all our arguments.
“Remember when you wanted to be at Zander’s bachelor party and I refused to let you?”
I have no idea why he’s bringing this up now, but since it was only a couple weeks ago, I remember it perfectly.
“What do you mean you want to come? You can’t come; you’re female!” Declan growls.
“Well, thank you, Captain Obvious. But Zander is one of my best friends, and I am not missing out on his bachelor party because I have a vagina!”
“The only vaginas allowed at bachelor parties are the ones belonging to the women who are stripping,” Declan snidely retorts.
“Are you for fucking real? Do you know how much of a pig you are?” I point at him accusingly, but he doesn’t seem to care that I’m furious.
“Look, Zander needs a night to relax and enjoy his time with his bros. If you come, then he’ll be getting bitched out because he dared to wear two colors that don’t match,” Declan sneers, and I want so badly to slap that look off his face.
“You asshole, I never complain about your awful fashion sense,” I lie. Declan dresses annoyingly well. Even when he does wear something mismatched, or with holes in it, it looks good on him. “So, why the fuck would I bitch about Zander’s? You just don’t want me there because you’re afraid that it’ll be obvious you’re boring, with Joey and me being the life of the party.”
“Life of the party? More like Joey will be hitting on any woman with a pulse, and you’ll make the entire night about you!”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I scream, above caring about decorum.
“How about the fact that, right now, I’m talking about Zander’s bachelor party and you’re making it all about you?” Before I can even comment on that, Declan continues. “Do you wonder if maybe Zander doesn’t want you at his bachelor party? Because yes, there are going to be strippers, and yes, there will be heavy drinking, and we all know Zander is dedicated to Ava. He loves her more than I even thought it was possible for two people to love each other. He’ll be pissed that I’ve arranged strippers, he’ll resist every drink I push down him, and he’ll hate himself for how much of an ass he’s going to make of himself. But it’ll be fucking funny, and we’ll have one hell of a night.
“But I know you, and I know you’ll give in and help him avoid drinking. You’ll give us all so much shit about the strippers that he’ll just pay them to get lost to be rid of them. He’ll worry that you’re there, surrounded by a bunch of drunk assholes, so he’ll keep an eye on you. And any fucker who tries to hit on you will get his full attention. You’re his sister, and he can never let himself off guard if you’re around.”
His words actually sink in. Declan is an asshole, but he might have a point here.
“You’re still a pig for excluding me purely because I have these.” I push my breasts together so I have more cleavage than a stereotypical plumber’s ass crack. “And this.” I drop my boobs to grab my crotch.
Declan’s mouth drops open in response. I think I finally shocked him speechless.
“What about that argument?” I wonder, a little embarrassed with myself over how I ended it. Not my finest hour.
“I got fucking hard after it.”
“You what?” I gape, again surprised by where this conversation is going.
“You grabbed your tits and your pussy,” he explains. “I used to feel good arguing with you because I always felt better afterward. Winning an argument against you was the best feeling. I could have a shit day, but if we fought, I felt like I accomplished something. Five minutes of arguing with you was like an hour at the gym.”
“So, driving me crazy was just fun for you?” I screech. He was fighting with me on purpose? Is he insane?
“Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I came out angrier than I started, but most of the time, it was a release I needed. You can’t say you didn’t feel at all the same way.”
“I certainly never got off on our fights,” I rebut. However, though I would never admit it to Declan, I can admit to myself that I do enjoy fighting with him a little. Most people just give in to me because they know I’m in it for the long haul if I am going to argue. Declan never backed down.
“And our last fight at the gym before we got on the plane?” He sighs a little, as though recalling some fantastic memory instead of a fight where it began with me knocking him out. “I had to fight myself not to shove you against the wall and shut you up a different way. I’m say
ing that, while I’ve never seen you like a sister, I’ve also never looked close enough to see you as someone sexy, someone fuck-able. Then you tried to knock me out, and I don’t know”—he shrugs—“something shifted.”
“What do you mean I tried to knock you out?” I ask, trying to ignore everything else he said. This is not the conversation I thought we would have when he first started this, and not one I think I’m at all ready for. “You mean, when I likely gave you a concussion?”
“Even right now,” he continues like I never spoke, “I see your bare shoulder and want to pull that T-shirt down farther to see if you are naked underneath and if I can expose you to my eyes. I want to drag down your pants and see what color your panties are. I want to tear them with my teeth and eat you right here, right now. Since California, I’m dying to know how you taste, to see what your pussy looks like, and how tight you will feel wrapped around my cock.”
I lean back in my chair, shocked by this turn of events. How did we get here, and how the hell do I get us out? Do I even want to? Just his words have started to heat me.
Are we seriously going to go there with each other?
“You don’t think it’ll be too hard to jump into that different world I exist in? You don’t think my Walmart underwear will be too intimidating?” I sound like a bitch right now, but inside, I am completely freaking the hell out.
“I deserve that, and I know things are too fucked between us right now. We have a potential stalker to deal with and so much baggage we could probably rival an airport.”
I consider sidetracking this conversation to ask about my potential stalker and what he found out today, since I weirdly never asked earlier, but I sense this is an important conversation we need to have.
“So then, what do we do?”
“We deal with ass-wipe and whatever the fuck is going to go down with that.” Evidently, he has come to the same conclusion about who my possible stalker could be. Although, he might have found evidence of that instead of me just guessing. “In the meantime, you stay here with me. That will keep you protected, as well as keep up the guise that we’re seeing each other. While we get that sorted out, we sort ourselves out.”
I Knocked Him Out (Love at First Crime Book 2) Page 10