Grigor hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye to her.
Holly had come to see her leave, as had all the other Pendragon mates. Along with Nathaniel, Bryn, Deryk, Aeran, and even the taciturn Rhys, whom she didn’t even know. Garrett had disappeared somewhere.
And she hadn’t seen Grigor again.
Or Dylan.
If the Pendragon brothers drank alcohol, then Gayle would have said Grigor was off somewhere with Dylan celebrating her departure. But as alcohol had no effect on dragon shifters, meaning they didn’t drink, she knew that wasn’t true.
Grigor could at least have made the effort to say goodbye to her.
As it was, Gayle felt numbed from the depth of the pain she was feeling at their separation.
Grief-stricken.
As if someone or something had died.
Her heart, maybe?
“You are making a mistake.”
She turned to look at Nikolai as he sat beside her in the darkness of the back of the vehicle. “Sorry?”
His teeth gleamed as he smiled. “Grigor is…a difficult man to understand. Cold. Arrogant. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart that can be broken.”
Gayle gave a snort. “Are you speaking from personal experience?” In many ways, Grigor and Nikolai were alike, both cold and arrogant, with that unshakeable certainty in everything they did.
“As it happens, yes,” the Russian confirmed softly. “I almost let Daisy—my wife—leave my life because of my blind stupidity in believing I knew what was best for her.”
“That wasn’t you?”
“I believed it wasn’t me,” he drawled. “Daisy convinced me otherwise, and we have now been happily married for three years. We have a family together, something I never thought I would have. They are my life,” he said softly. “But it’s hard for men like us to admit to the weakness of feeling love for another human being.”
“Grigor can’t admit to feeling something that doesn’t exist.”
“I cannot speak for Grigor, but I know that loving Daisy is not my weakness, it is my strength. That together we are so much stronger than we are apart.”
“Grigor doesn’t feel that way about me.”
“He hasn’t told you he feels that way about you. There is a distinct difference.”
Gayle breathed in deeply. “Nikolai, why are we having this conversation?”
“Because if Daisy hadn’t made me see how stupid I was being in insisting we part, then I would have missed out on the best part of my fucking life!” He almost shouted the words.
“So I’m supposed to do the same with Grigor?”
“Are you too proud to do that?” Nikolai rasped. “Will that pride keep you warm at night? Provide the love, the companionship, the family you could have with Grigor?”
“He doesn’t want me, Nikolai,” she insisted shakily.
“He doesn’t want you to realize how much he wants you. I know him, Gayle, because I am him.” He turned in the seat to face her. “What do you really have to lose by telling him how you feel?”
“I… Only what’s left of my stupid pride,” she acknowledged in a small voice.
“What do you have to gain?”
She didn’t hesitate in how she answered that question. “Everything!”
“Then we’ll turn back.”
“You would do that?”
Nikolai placed one of his hands over hers. “When you return, talk to Grigor. Don’t argue with him, just talk to him. Tell him your feelings for him.”
Could she do that? Could she tell Grigor she loved him and hope he felt even a little of that emotion for her?
More to the point, how could she bear to be apart from him a moment longer when each mile seemed like a hundred?
“Daisy is the light to my dark,” Nikolai spoke softly. “You can be that for Grigor.”
She could. She really could. Whenever Grigor became too serious, she could tease him out of it. Whenever he needed someone on his side, she could be that person. Most of all, she could be his mate.
“Okay.” She nodded. “I’ll go back and talk to him.” She decided before the doubts set in again and she changed her mind.
“That’s the best decision you’ve probably ever—” He broke off the comment as his phone pinged, announcing he had a text message, a frown darkening his brow as he read it before leaning forward to tap the driver on the shoulder. “Return to the castle,” he instructed harshly. “Now!” He dropped back against the car seat, his expression grim as the driver immediately turned the SUV into a U-turn before racing back toward Pendragon Castle.
“Nikolai?” Gayle sat forward. “What is it? What’s happened?” she demanded, too worried to care about the distress in her voice.
He drew in a controlling breath. “It seems your mate has…lapsed into something Nathaniel described as dragon sleep.”
Gayle alarm deepened. “What the hell is that?”
“He didn’t say.” The Russian shrugged. “Only that your presence is required back at the castle, or there’s a real danger Grigor might not wake up. Ever,” he added grimly.
Gayle did still have her heart and lungs after all, because right now, the former was beating at twice its normal speed, and her lungs were raggedly breathing in and out.
Although she was sure her heart stopped again when she ran into Grigor’s bedroom a short time later and saw the beautiful raven-haired and ivory-skinned woman sitting at Grigor’s bedside holding one of his hands in both of her much paler ones.
Admittedly, she had been in such a hurry to get to Grigor that she hadn’t lingered downstairs any longer than it took for Holly to tell her that Grigor was in his bedroom, before running up the stairs to be with him. But surely someone could have mentioned he had another woman with him?
“Who are you?” Gayle demanded as she stepped possessively to Grigor’s other side and grasped his limp hand in hers. Tears stung her eyes at the pallor of his face. Grigor looked as if he was sleeping, and yet somehow, it seemed more than that, deeper, darker.
The dragon sleep Nikolai had spoken of?
The woman rose gracefully to her feet, slightly shorter than Gayle, her hair a black silky curtain down to her waist, her eyes the deepest blue Gayle had ever seen, the long gown she wore of that same vibrant color. “I am Branwen.” There was a soft lilt to the gentleness of the woman’s voice. “And you are Gayle, the one chosen to be life mate to my son.”
Son?
Could this woman be referring to Grigor?
She wasn’t old enough to have a son who admitted to being sixteen hundred years old—
Grigor had told her his mother was a Welsh goddess.
Immortal.
Timeless.
Named Branwen?
Gayle swallowed past the lump that had risen in her throat. “I—I’m pleased to meet you.”
The other woman smiled. “And I you.”
“You are…?” Considering the cock-up she’d made in her life so far…
“The gods and goddesses do not make mistakes, Gayle.” Branwen seemed to read her thoughts. “You are my son’s fated mate, destined to be at his side for many, many more years to come. To give him children—”
“How do you know all this?”
“I am also the goddess of Vision.”
Gayle’s eyes widened. “You can see into the future?”
“I can. But it is not wise to know all of the future, Gayle,” she added before Gayle could even ask. “Know only that the two of you are meant to be together. To love each other.”
Gayle chewed on her bottom lip. “I thought you lived on the island of Annwn?”
A slight frown married the woman’s smooth brow as she gazed down tenderly at Grigor. “I lost one son. I do not intend to lose another.”
“I don’t understand.”
Again, that gentle smile. “My first son, Gwern, should have been King of Ireland, but my half brother killed him before he could be crowned. Most believe I died of a bro
ken heart that day but in fact, I descended to the island of Annwn and became the Welsh goddess of Love and Beauty. I also gave birth to my beloved Grigor, son of the human Uther and half brother to Arthur.” Love glowed in her eyes as she glanced down at Grigor. “I do not leave Annwn often, but if my son ever has need of me, I will always come.”
“And tonight, he needed you?”
“Yes.”
Gayle felt as if she was back in the same alternate universe as when Grigor told her dragon shifters were real and he had been alive for sixteen hundred years.
But there was no doubting this beautiful woman was standing right in front of her.
No missing the ethereal and unworldly quality of the air that surrounded the other woman.
Because she was a Welsh goddess.
Was Branwen, goddess of Love and Beauty. And Vision too, apparently.
And Grigor’s mother.
Gayle drew in a shaky breath. “Did my leaving do this to him?”
“Yes,” Branwen confirmed without condemnation.
She nodded. “Then please tell me what I have to do to bring him back to me.”
Branwen smiled. “Love him with all your generous heart, as my brave and strong Grigor so deserves to be loved.”
Gayle could do that.
Easily.
Because she already loved Grigor with all her heart, exactly as Grigor deserved to be loved.
It no longer mattered if he didn’t love her in return.
Gayle had left him once, but she would never leave him again, no matter how much he might want, demand, she do so.
Chapter 15
“Gayle?” Grigor was pretty sure he had to be dreaming as he opened his eyes and saw her sitting beside where he lay in his own bed, one of his hands held tightly in both of hers.
He had no idea how he even came to be in his bedroom.
The last thing Grigor remembered was being in his study with Dylan, and then the sudden pain that ripped through his body when Gayle was driven away from him, their mating connection stretching and then breaking. Causing him to collapse, before he was quickly consumed by darkness.
The dream Gayle sat forward. “It’s about time you woke up!”
That scolding certainly sounded like his mate. Except his mate was on her way back to London in the company of Nikolai Volkov. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Six hours or so. I told everyone else to go to bed. You totally missed your mother’s visit,” she added ruefully.
His mother?
Branwen?
This might be a dream, and his dream at that, but he was still finding it difficult to concentrate. “She was here?”
“She is so beautiful, Grigor,” Gayle enthused. “I mean, we’re talking out-of-this-world beautiful. It was a little intimidating, to be honest,” she added ruefully. “No one’s mother-in-law should look like that.”
Grigor hadn’t seen his mother for almost sixteen hundred years, not since he became a dragon shifter and left Annwn. But he did remember her as being exceptionally beautiful, if slightly remote. A remoteness he knew he had inherited.
It seemed more than a little strange that he should be dreaming about Gayle meeting the mother he hadn’t seen for centuries.
“Would you like some bottled water?” Gayle offered softly. “I can easily go and get some from the fridge—”
“No!” Grigor maintained a tight grip on Gayle’s hand to prevent her from standing, unwilling to let this dream Gayle go as he had been forced to do with the real one. “Stay with me for a while longer. Please.”
As Gayle had no intention of leaving Grigor again, ever, she was more than happy to remain at his side.
He continued talking. “I didn’t want to let you go.”
Gayle’s heart leaped at the admission. “Then why did you?”
“Because I had to.” He swallowed. “If I had forced you to stay…” He shook his head. “You’re like a rare and beautiful butterfly, and butterflies aren’t meant to be kept in captivity against their will.”
As Gayle had felt the same way about Grigor when she’d likened him to a caged tiger, she couldn’t argue with that analogy. Except… “I’m not a butterfly. I’m a woman. And I’m not being kept here against my will,” she assured him huskily. “I’m your mate.”
“Yes, you are.” Grigor gave a warm smile. “Rebellious. Stubborn. Fierce. And mine,” he added with satisfaction.
Gayle gave a shaky laugh at his possessive tone. “I love you, Grigor.”
“I love you too.”
She gasped, both at the words and how easily Grigor had said them. “You do?”
He nodded. “Very much.”
Gayle gave him a searching glance, not altogether sure… “Grigor, are you truly awake?”
He chuckled. “Absolutely not. If I was awake, you wouldn’t have just told me you love me.”
A puzzled frown creased her brow. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He shrugged. “Because the Gayle I know when I’m awake would never admit to the weakness of love.”
Gayle had done a lot of thinking during the past six hours, after Branwen had assured her Grigor would wake up now that his mate had returned to him. Most of Gayle’s thoughts had been based on what Nikolai had said to her in the SUV, his claim that in his experience, it wasn’t weak to love someone, to need them, to want to be with them, that his wife, the love and family they shared, made him stronger, not weaker. That they were his life.
As Grigor was now her life.
She’d felt completely lost before she’d met and fallen in love with Grigor, a rudderless ship drifting with the tide. Along with the occasional shipwreck, like the one she’d had when she’d appropriated Gregori Markovic’s money for Sybil Rider.
She had found a purpose in loving Grigor, a reason for being in accepting and becoming his mate. Something she was now willing to fight for. Even against Grigor, if she had to.
Her hands tightened about his. “Someone told me love is a strength, not a weakness.”
“Someone?”
“Nikolai.”
“Now I know I’m definitely still asleep.” Grigor gave another self-derisive chuckle. “But I’m okay with that,” he assured her as she frowned. “More than okay,” he added huskily.
Much as Gayle was enjoying this conversation, it really wasn’t fair to continue to let Grigor believe it wasn’t real.
Especially as he had told her he loved her!
She stood up. “Shift over so I can join you,” she encouraged gently as she slipped off her shoes and began to remove her clothes.
Grigor moved distractedly to the other side of the bed, his eyes wide as he watched Gayle throw off her sweater and remove her bra, revealing those glorious breasts that he so loved to caress and suck as he pleasured her. “I’m not sure Gayle would be happy at my having to confess to being in bed with another woman, even if it’s her dream self.”
“No, I wouldn’t.” Gayle unfastened her jeans before removing them and her panties. “But as I’m not a dream, it isn’t going to be a problem.” She slid naked beneath the bedcovers to lie on her side facing him. “Feel how real I am, Grigor.” Her hand disappeared beneath the duvet, her fingers curling about and then gently squeezing his aroused cock.
Which was when Grigor realized he wasn’t dreaming at all. That Gayle really was here in the bed beside him. Touching him. Caressing him. Arousing him.
That minutes ago, she had told him she loved him.
He moistened his lips. “How are you here?”
“Nikolai was bringing me back to you when Nathaniel texted him that you had collapsed.”
“He was?”
“He was.” Gayle wanted no more misunderstandings between them, needed Grigor to know she had been coming back to him before she knew of his collapse. “Then Nathaniel’s text arrived and scared the hell out of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I’m not going to promise I’ll
change overnight or that I’ll never make another mistake, but I’m really going to try not to.”
“I love you exactly as you are.” Grigor touched the silky curtain of her hair. “Every rebellious, stubborn, delicious inch of you.”
“I seem to remember you admitted to being surprised when you realized I was your mate,” Gayle teased.
“I also said you were more than I had expected. So very much more.” Love glowed in the darkness of his eyes as he looked at her. “I have absolutely no doubt you are the perfect mate for me, Gayle. You bring light and laughter into my life. Love,” he added huskily.
“In that case, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you again.” She sucked and then bit down on one of his nipples, sending heated waves of pleasure through his entire body. “I love you, Grigor.” She raised her head, her gaze unwavering as she looked deeply into his eyes. “I love you.”
“I love— Did you say mother-in-law?” He frowned.
Gayle grinned at him. “You didn’t think you were going to get away with not marrying me in a human ceremony, did you?”
Grigor chuckled. “I have a feeling that with you as my mate and wife, I will never get away with anything ever again.”
“Too damned right!”
“Goddess, I love you!” His arms tightened about her, holding the warmth of her body tightly against his own as he claimed her lips in a searing kiss, needing, wanting—
Gayle broke the kiss. “Claim me, Grigor,” she groaned. “Mate me. Love me!”
“I do,” he rasped. “Goddess knows I do!”
Their first mating had been driven by lust. This time, it was fueled solely by the deep love they felt for each other, their joining exactly that.
A mating of bodies, minds, souls, and, most especially, hearts.
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