She could feel the anger in his hold too, his fingers pressing hard against her skin. She could have gotten out of it easily enough, but this wasn’t the time or the place, so she ignored it as they got into the elevator.
He didn’t say anything as they rode up the couple of floors to their room, and she didn’t press, keeping silent as they went down the hallway and Alex entered the code into the keypad lock on the door.
“Okay.” He slammed shut the door behind them. “Let’s fucking debrief.”
Katya put her purse carefully down on the coffee table near the sofa. “I want to know why you’re so angry.”
“Because Conrad South is a prick who has apparently been trafficking women. Do I really need another reason?”
“It’s more than that.” She took a breath. “Is it what happened with me?”
His gaze flickered. “You didn’t sign on for that kind of shit.”
“It’s part of the mission. There will always be some aspects of a mission that will be unpleasant. Taking my clothes off and being looked at is probably the least dangerous thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Alex thrust his hands in his pockets. “And sleeping with Conrad if I’d lost the game? Would that have been an ‘unpleasant’ part of the mission too?”
“I wouldn’t have let him touch me. I wouldn’t let any of them touch me.” She studied Alex’s fiercely beautiful face, noting the tight line of his jaw. “You had a plan, didn’t you? Before we even went in.”
That familiar hard, glittering look had entered his eyes, making them seem sharp as shards of blue glass. “No one fucks with my employees.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
The atmosphere in the room became dense all of a sudden, heavy and full of pressure.
“What makes you think you deserve an answer?” His tone had turned silky, dangerous. “You’re my bodyguard, Katya, not my fucking confessor.”
She ignored that, studying him and the fury that poured off him. A restless kind of energy that had him pacing to the couch, then back to the door again. He needed a target, she realized. Something to take his anger out on. Or someone.
“I see,” she said expressionlessly.
“What?” He stopped near the couch. “What do you fucking see? Did you expect something different? Were you hoping I’d tell you all my secrets like a fucking teenage girl?” There was an unbearably cynical note in his voice. “You’re too sharp, Katya mine. You see too much. Because you’re right. I did have a plan. And you were part of it.” He began to stalk toward her, a slow, fluid movement, like a panther. “Don’t forget I’m a game player, just like Conrad. You were my bait, my supposed weak point. A tool to hook Conrad. And, shit, did it work. He took you, hook, line, and sinker.”
She stood her ground, watching him come. “I don’t care what you use me for. If it’s in the business of protecting your life then it’s part of my job anyway.” She lifted her chin. “But that’s not the real question. The real question is what is making you so angry?”
Slowly, he came to a stop right in front of her. “No, it’s not. The real question is why the fuck should it matter to you?”
It was a good question, but she’d been avoiding the answer for days now. Perhaps it was time she stopped. “It matters because I care. I care about you.”
“You shouldn’t, darling. A couple of orgasms don’t mean love.” He smiled his shark’s smile. “And if you’re expecting me to reciprocate you’re shit out of luck.”
Katya stared into the hard glitter of his eyes, seeing the anger and the pain that lurked underneath the cynical edge. He was lying. Both to her and to himself. He did care. That’s why he was angry. That’s why he was saying these things. He wanted to distance her. Wanted to push her away. Because that’s what he always did when he cared and he didn’t want to.
“Stop pretending,” she said. “I told you that you could trust me and you can. Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me why you hate him so much.”
He gave a harsh laugh. “You really think it’s that simple? That all I need to do is tell you and it will go away? That everything will magically get better?”
“No, I don’t—”
“You’ve got no fucking idea. Anyway, there’s something else we could be doing other than talking.” His gaze dropped down her body, openly suggestive, before rising to her face again. “Take off your dress, Katya. If you can do it for him, you can do it for me.”
Oh yes, he was definitely trying to intimidate her. Push her away. But he was forgetting who he was dealing with here.
“Of course, sir,” she said, placing a delicate emphasis on the “sir.” “Anything you say.” Reaching up behind her, she pulled down the zipper and stepped out of the bronze silk as it fell away.
And there was nothing weak in standing before him in only her panties. It felt like a declaration of intent, making her strong, powerful. Especially when his gaze roamed over her, hot and hungry. Setting up that ache of desire inside her, a wave of heat sweeping over her skin. She hadn’t cared in that room, in front of those people, because they didn’t matter.
But Alex did.
She stared at him, looked into the searing blue of his eyes, and she could see what he wanted, could sense the desperate hunger building in him.
He was drowning again and he needed her to save him.
So Katya didn’t wait. She carried on, sliding down her panties and stepping out of them. Standing there naked except for the diamond choker and her heels.
Then she straightened, keeping her hands by her sides.
“I didn’t tell you to take your panties off,” he said hoarsely.
“I know you didn’t. But I wanted them off.”
“Katya—”
“What are you going to do now?” She lifted her chin. “You won a night with me after all. Perhaps you should take it?”
He stepped closer, inches away from her, the heat from his lean body like a furnace against her bare skin. “You think I wouldn’t? Conrad would have taken you.”
“I don’t care about Conrad. And you’re nothing like him.”
He sneered, sliding an arm around her waist, jerking her hard against him. “Don’t be so fucking sure, sweetheart.”
The material of his tuxedo pants against her skin was rough, the cotton of his shirt a smooth contrast. She put a hand on his chest, staring up into his hot blue eyes, feeling the beat of his heart fast and sure beneath her palm. “I know what you’re doing. But you won’t be able to push me away. I won’t let you.”
He lifted his free hand, shoved it into her hair, his fingers closing into a fist and pulling her head back. “Give me two seconds, Katya mine. I’ll make you change your mind.”
“Shocking me won’t work. And you know I can have you facedown on the floor before you even have time to breathe if you try anything else. But you don’t want that, do you? Not when it’s me you really want.”
Something moved in his eyes, a crack running through that hard, glittering façade. He took a breath, harsh and not at all steady. “Fuck, Katya.…”
She let her hand rest on the warm cotton of his shirt, moving a thumb back and forward over the fabric in a gentle caress. Feeling him shudder. “I want to give it to you, Alexei. You won me tonight. You can have me.”
The fingers in her hair tightened. “Ah, darling. You really don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“So why don’t you show me?” She’d never seduced anyone in her life and she really had no idea what she was doing. But when he’d been angry and hurting like this before, her touch had helped. And she wanted to help now.
He needed her strength and so she would give it.
Katya rose up and pressed her mouth to his.
Heat flared between them like a tank of aviation gas before a match. An explosive flame that burned everything in its path.
Alex’s mouth opened on hers instantly, kissing her like he was suffocating and she was air. And she let him, his tongue sweeping be
tween her lips, exploring deep. And giving back the same in return, inexperienced and unsure but just as hungry, just as hot.
She wound her arms around his neck, arching against his body, the material of his clothes a delicious friction against her skin. Being naked while he was still fully clothed seemed the most erotic, the most powerful, thing in the whole world.
His hands gripped her all of a sudden, almost painfully tight. “You have to do what I say,” he whispered hoarsely against her mouth. “Do you understand? I have to be the one in charge.”
She did understand. This anger and this desire for control came from whatever Conrad had done to him; she was sure of it. But if that’s what he needed then that’s what she would give him. It would make it easier anyway, since she didn’t know what she was doing. Besides, as she’d learned, there was a certain strength in surrender.
She nodded and his hands spread wide, coming around her, lifting her and carrying her over to the couch. He put her down onto it, covering her body with his, his mouth questing and hungry. Finding and seeking hers, devouring her.
Katya pushed her hands into the thick, black softness of his hair, giving him everything she could. She hadn’t had much experience with kisses, but she didn’t care. She only wanted the taste of him, the heat of him against her.
His hands moved over her, restless, seeking. Stroking her shoulders and down, finding her breasts, cupping them in his palms, his thumbs circling her nipples before pinching them, not hard but enough to send a sharp bolt of sensation straight to her sex. Making her gasp.
He pinched them again, his mouth moving down to her neck and throat, pressing hot, hungry kisses to her skin. Then his teeth biting, his tongue licking, soothing.
She couldn’t get enough breath, each sensation taking the air straight from her lungs. The pleasure was so sharp, so intense. And yet it kept building. Layer after layer as his mouth moved down her body, his hands cupping her breasts, her nipples so tight they ached.
His mouth covered one nipple, sucking hard, tearing a groan from her as another electric shock of pleasure seared along her nerve endings. She had no time to feel awkward or shy, or any of the other things she’d thought she’d feel. He gave her no space to feel anything but what he was doing to her.
Alex’s hands moved lower as he transferred his mouth to her other nipple, licking, nipping her sharply, making her cry out. His fingers stroked over her hips and thighs; then one hand slipped between them.
“Spread your legs,” he demanded roughly. “Now.”
She did without hesitation, letting them fall open, shivering and arching up as his fingers stroked the folds of her sex, tracing the shape of her in a light, tantalizing movement.
Katya moaned, her eyes closing as the pleasure began to wind tight as a clock spring, the world narrowing to this one aching point. “Alexei…” Her hands moved from his shoulders down his back, tracing the graceful shapes of his muscles beneath the cotton. Then her nails dug in as his fingers found her clitoris and began to circle, teasing her.
Her hips jerked, her breath coming fast and hard. “I can’t … please … Oh God…” She didn’t know whether she said it in Russian or English, but she didn’t care. She wanted him to keep going, never stop, because she would die if he did.
“Wider.” He came onto his knees, pushing her legs farther apart and looking down between them. Ferocity twisted his features, the skin drawn tight to the bones of his face. Like he’d been stripped of all those fascinating layers right down to the raw, elemental part of him. “Keep them like that.”
She obeyed, her inner thighs beginning to tremble, her heart beating harder than it ever had even during the toughest training session. A week ago she would have pushed him away, horrified at feeling such weakness, at being so exposed. Now she couldn’t take her eyes from his face, watching his reaction to her. Feeling the power of her sexuality.
“Watch,” he ordered. Then he put his hand down between her thighs, spreading the folds of her sex. Katya trembled at the feeling of intense vulnerability that gripped her, but again she obeyed. Watching those long, clever fingers move on her slick flesh, feeling the stretch as he slid two fingers deep inside her.
She groaned, the eroticism of the sight making the grip of pleasure squeeze tighter.
His hand moved, his thumb seeking and finding her clitoris, circling it in time with the push of his fingers. The rhythm he set was at first hard and fast, then abruptly slowing, becoming leisurely before picking up speed again. He was playing with her. Teasing her. Proving his total command of her body.
Katya panted, struggling to keep her legs wide and her gaze on what he was doing to her. The pleasure was a vicious pressure, so tight, and release was so close. But he kept it just out of her reach. Like nearly reaching the top of a mountain, only to find the path to the summit barred and gated. So close and yet so far.
Increasingly desperate, her body shaking with frustration as he continued to toy with her, she reached for his hand so she could direct it to where she wanted it to go, to touch her to get her over that gate.
“Stop,” Alex said harshly.
Katya moaned with frustration but did as she was told, her hand dropping away. “Please…”
He leaned over her, one hand beside her head, so she couldn’t see anything else but him, the intensity in his face and the dark midnight of his eyes. “I’m the only one who gets to touch you. Understand? Only me. And when I say stop, you stop.”
She struggled to take a breath. There was a note of something in his rough voice, something she knew was important. But she couldn’t think through the fog of relentless pleasure, so she only nodded.
He sat back, reaching into his back pocket and taking out his wallet. His movements were precise, measured, and she didn’t know why they drove her mad with frustration. He took out something, a silver packet.
Understanding burst in her fogged-up brain. A condom.
The air rushed into her lungs and she began to shake, which was strange. Because she’d always known this was going to happen. From the moment she’d taken off her dress, she’d known. Yet she’d never thought she’d be the one lying here, desperate and hungry. The one who would be begging. Who had her mouth full of pleading words.
She thought it would be him reduced to trembling and shaking and her the one giving him what he needed. She never dreamed she’d need this too. So much she felt tears prickling behind her eyes.
Katya bit her lip hard to stop it, a hot ball of inexplicable emotion catching in her chest. “Alexei…” His name escaped before she was ready and she had to bite her lip harder to stop any more begging from getting out.
He didn’t look at her as he opened his pants. But his hands were shaking as they ripped open that packet. As they rolled the latex down over the length of his cock.
She wasn’t the only desperate one.
The emotion in her chest began to spread out, moving through her, inexorable, unstoppable. Her vision blurred, a ragged, desperate breath filling her lungs. She didn’t understand what was happening to her, where these feelings were coming from. As if somehow those earlier encounters with him had cracked the defenses she’d erected over the years and now they were falling, crumbling. As if they’d never been.
“Katya.” He was leaning over her, the look in his eyes asking questions she didn’t understand and didn’t know the answers to. But she kept on looking anyway as she felt him push into her, a deep, hard thrust.
She cried out, a hoarse kind of sound she couldn’t believe had come from her. There was no pain, at least not physical pain. And yet there was something. Unfamiliarity. Like she was too full, stretched. Both by him and by the emotion that she couldn’t seem to control.
His hand slipped beneath her head, cupping the back of it, lifting her so her mouth met his, drowning her in the heat and the hunger of his kiss.
And then he began to move. Her fingers dug helplessly into his back as if they wanted to claw through the cotton into
the skin beneath it. Because she was never going to survive this. The edge of pleasure was like a razor, cutting through everything that tethered her to earth. That protected her. So she could do nothing as she soared into the sky, going higher and higher.
His other hand beneath her hips, tilting her. The feel of him sliding deeper. So full. Stretched wide. Too much. And yet … not enough.
Alex moved harder, faster, and the hold she had on her emotions, on the pleasure that was slowly tearing her apart, began to slip. It was too hard to fight it, too hard to think her way through what was happening. All she could do was hold on to him and respond to the insistence of her body that had her moving with him in a rhythm she couldn’t resist. A final letting go, a deeper surrender.
But it got too much. The edge of ecstasy too sharp.
It pierced her, transfixed her like a butterfly pinned to a board.
As the climax burst through her, Katya screamed, deaf and blind to anything but the pleasure as she fell from the sky and smashed to pieces on the ground.
* * *
Alex felt her convulse around him, her hoarse scream against his mouth, and let himself go, burying himself in the slick heat of her pussy, over and over until he couldn’t feel the thick mess of emotions that had been drowning him, choking him. All tangled and conflicted and so fucking unwanted.
Until all he could feel was her around him, the smell of oranges overlaid with the musky scent of her arousal, the shaking of her lithe body under his. And the taste of her as he kept his mouth on hers, drowning himself in it so that there was nothing left but pleasure.
The orgasm, when it hit, was like pure heroin injected straight into his nervous system, laying waste to everything, leaving him gasping and shaking, unable to move or speak or do anything but lie there on top of her, trying pull together the jagged shards of himself.
There was a strange, metallic taste in his mouth, like blood. And when he at last raised his head and looked down at her, he realized, with sudden horror, that it was blood. Hers.
Katya lay beneath him, trembling like he was, eyes wide with shock. There was blood on her lip and the look on her face bore no resemblance to the reserved, icy Russian bodyguard she’d once been. It was more that of a woman who’d been broken apart, with no idea how to put herself back together again.
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