“Are you kidding me?” Eva shot back. “Sure, it’s your family, Alex. But that makes it our family too. I thought the whole point of the Nine Circles was that we stuck together because we had no one else.” She gave him a sharp look. “Or am I wrong?”
These people were his friends and friends supported one another. Why did he keep forgetting that? “You’re not wrong. But I came back to protect you all. I don’t want to drag you back into something you don’t want.”
Eva shrugged. “Too bad. You’ve already dragged us. And hey, it’s not like we’re without resources, right?”
“I guess.”
“Good. So. What information have we got so far?”
The discussion moved on and the atmosphere of tension that had been in the room at the start of the meeting dissipated.
As the other three fell into a discussion about the other players, Alex went over to where Katya still stood, waiting silently. “Why are you here?” he asked. “Did you need something?”
She stepped back from the couch, her hands once more behind her back. “Yes. I wanted to inform you that the operation to rescue Mikhail was successful. I just got the word. They’re organizing a video call because he wanted to speak to me ASAP.”
The disappointment was bitter, but Alex ignored the feeling. It was good Vasin had gotten out. Good that the first thing he wanted to do was speak to the woman who’d made him such important promises. “That’s great news,” Alex said, trying to make it sound like he was actually pleased and not wanting to hit something. “So I guess you’ll be heading back to Moscow soon.”
Her gaze flickered away from his. “I managed to get a flight tomorrow morning. I … hope that’s okay. I know it’s not enough notice but…”
“It’ll be fine. I’m going to need to rethink my security anyway if we continue investigating Conrad.”
Katya kept her attention on the couch in front of her. “Will you … keep me informed? Having gone with you to Monte Carlo, I’m quite interested to know where your investigations lead. And if you need any help…” Only then did she look at him. “Any help at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
If there was something more there, an underlying meaning to her words, he didn’t see it. And for a second he couldn’t speak because he wanted so much for there to be something. Anything. Instead he put his gambler’s mask on, betraying nothing of the need clawing up inside him. “Of course. I’ll let you know.” He gave her an empty smile. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s probably better that you leave. Nine Circles business, Katya mine.”
Except she wasn’t his. And she never would be.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Katya sat down in the lounge of Alex’s apartment and adjusted the laptop once again, making sure the camera was pointed at herself and the microphone was working. The call from the people who’d gotten Mikhail out would be happening at any moment.
Alex was still in the special room downstairs in the Second Circle with the rest of his friends. They’d been in there hours now. It had been stupid to walk in on them earlier, but when she’d gotten the call that Mikhail was safe she hadn’t been able to stop herself from wanting to go and at least offer her personal thanks to Alex and to Mr. Rutherford.
She hadn’t expected to stumble in on Alex giving a full-blown confession. She’d been all set to leave the moment Mr. Rutherford had challenged her. Except then Alex had told her to stay. And he’d looked at her the whole time as he told her his story.
He hadn’t looked away from her, his blue eyes pinning her to the spot, holding her completely still. And she knew how hard it was for him. Knew what he’d had to go through to get to this point—
There was a chiming sound from the computer.
Katya swallowed. God, here she was, waiting to speak to the man she’d promised herself to, whom she hadn’t seen for two years, and all she could think about was Alex St. James.
She leaned forward, hitting a button on the keyboard, and the video call window popped up. The video was choppy and grainy, but she could quite clearly see the man in the middle of it anyway. He was sitting on a chair with a table in front of him where the camera must be situated. The room behind him was bare, the walls concrete blocks.
“Misha?” Katya leaned forward, her throat constricting.
The man at the table was very different. The Mikhail she remembered was blond and good-looking. Always smiling. But the man on the screen was not him. This man was gaunt, his cheeks hollow, his eyes empty. The blond hair she remembered had been shaved close to his skull and he was covered in bruises. He looked like he’d been through hell.
No, he looked like he was still there.
“Katya,” he said, and she barely recognized his voice. He sounded like he had a mouthful of gravel.
Her eyes filled with unexpected tears. “Oh my God. It is you. You’re alive,” she said, falling into Russian easily. “We thought you were dead. When you disappeared, the government wanted to—”
“I don’t want you coming back for me.”
The words were flat, expressionless. Just like the look on his face.
She blinked. “But, I—”
“Thank you for organizing this rescue and you can pass my thanks on to Mr. Rutherford too. Don’t think I’m not grateful, but…” He stopped and something like pain crossed his face. “I’ve been gone a long time. Things have happened. And I’m … different now.” He looked away from the camera for a moment; then he glanced back, looking directly at her. “You made me some promises, Katya. And I haven’t forgotten them. But I can’t accept what you promised anymore. I’m sorry.”
Shock moved like an icy wind over her skin. “But I … I swore I wouldn’t leave you there and I didn’t. I waited for you, Misha. And I want to come back and see you. I want—”
“Katya,” he interrupted softly, leaning forward so his face was near the camera. And she could see more bruises marring the handsome lines of his face. Scar tissue pulling at his mouth. And his eyes … God, they were full of darkness. Like Elijah’s. “You shouldn’t have waited for me. And I don’t want you to now. Things are different.”
“If you’re worried about my father, I can talk to him. It’ll be okay.”
“No. It won’t be okay. Nothing will ever be okay.” He turned his head away again, looking at something or someone off camera. “Don’t come back for me. Please.”
“Misha … I can’t just leave you—” She stopped abruptly as Mikhail leaned forward and the video screen went black.
He’d cut her off.
Katya stood up, grief catching in her throat, aching in her chest. What had they done to him? God, they must have hurt him so badly. She wanted to call back straightaway, but she knew that wasn’t a good idea. Mikhail had only just been rescued and he’d been traumatized obviously. He needed some time to rest and gather his strength. Some time to recover from his ordeal.
He couldn’t seriously mean for her not to come back for him, could he?
She skirted the coffee table, paced to the windows and their view over the New York skyscrapers. It was snowing again, soft, fat white flakes drifting noiselessly against the glass.
Two years she’d waited for him. Two years she’d been loyal. She’d left her father and her country, losing her faith in both because of him. And she knew it was unfair, knew it was selfish, but it hurt that the first thing he’d said to her after being rescued–a rescue that she’d organized–was not to come back.
Another person who doesn’t want to be saved …
The thought came as softly as the snow, an icy blanket settling over her mind.
Katya closed her eyes. But it wasn’t the broken shell of the man she’d promised herself to that she saw. It was Alex’s blue eyes as he’d talked about his father on that videotape. And the empty smile as he’d told her to leave the room.
But what was the point thinking about him? He didn’t need her. And Mikhail did, regardless of whether he’d told her to stay away or not. She�
��d waited for two years for him and she couldn’t abandon him now, no matter what he said.
Coward.
But she didn’t take any notice of that whisper. She had to be strong for Mikhail because he still needed saving and that was all that mattered.
It was the only thing that did.
* * *
Alex sat on the couch in the Nine Circles room and looked at the vodka bottle. It was tempting to take it, pour himself a large tumblerful. But as he’d already decided, it wasn’t vodka he wanted.
He sighed and leaned against the back of the couch.
The others had all gone now, the fire burned down. The meeting had gone on far longer than they’d planned, talking about what their next move would be, where they went from here.
Eva was going to try hacking into Conrad’s network, while Zac continued his investigations–albeit much more carefully–of the Apocalypse players. Gabriel had taken on the task of looking into the businesses of the remaining Seven Devils–all except Conrad. Alex had demanded that Conrad be left to him and Gabriel hadn’t argued. No one had. They all knew that Conrad was Alex’s to deal with.
Zac had made it clear he had contacts who could come in handy if Alex wanted to use them. Special contacts for “special” jobs. He knew what that meant. Assassins. Thing was, he wasn’t sure he wanted someone else to take Conrad out. In fact, he wasn’t sure he wanted Conrad taken out at all.
After Katya had held him, it seemed pointless now.
Nineteen years of pretending the man didn’t matter, and it was only now, after Katya, that Alex realized he truly didn’t. That the only power the man had was the power Alex chose to give him. And by choosing not to exact revenge, he was denying Conrad that power.
It felt right. It felt true. And perhaps he’d always known it. But this was the first time he’d actually felt it.
A soft sound came from outside the door, and despite himself, his heart clenched tight. Was it Katya? Jesus, it had better not be. He didn’t think he could pretend not to give a shit while she walked away again. In fact, it would be better to ignore her completely until she was gone. He didn’t want to have to tell her to go, that it was club business, not hers, again. A deliberate move and a necessary one. To protect himself …
“Katya?” He didn’t turn. “I thought I told you—”
“I’m not Katya.” A familiar voice. A hated one.
A cold bolt of shock went through Alex. He rose sharply to his feet and whirled around.
And saw Conrad closing the door with a quiet click and locking it.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Alex demanded hoarsely. “How the hell did you get in?”
“Your security is a trifle lax, son.” The other man came slowly toward him, the couch standing between them. “And as for why I’m here, well…” His hazel eyes glittered in the dying firelight. “I’ve come to claim my fucking winnings.”
Christ, the man must have left Monaco right after Alex had. And as for the club … He was going to have to have words with the Second Circle security team if this prick could walk right into the Nine’s clubroom.
Alex took a silent breath, relaxing his muscles. However Conrad had gotten in was irrelevant at the moment anyway. What mattered was that he was here.
As the shock ebbed, it wasn’t anger Alex felt. Or even fear. It was … pity. That this was all the guy had. Chasing after the boy he’d raped all those years ago.
Alex allowed himself a smile. “Why, Conrad, you came all this way. I’m flattered; honestly, you’ve got no idea.”
The older man’s expression was cold, and with a start Alex realized Conrad was furious. “I thought better of you, son; I really did. What kind of gambler are you who leaves without paying his debts?”
“Perhaps your pit bull frightened me away?”
Conrad gave a short laugh. “My pit bull? Oh, Elijah? He’s not mine. He’s nothing. An irritation. I’ve dealt with him.”
“Really? Just like that? He looked like he meant business to me.”
“He’s got nothing to do with this. With us. He interfered in a personal matter and that’s not acceptable.” Conrad reached into his jacket, pulled out something. A memory stick. “Look. I even bought an incentive for you.”
Alex tensed. “And that is?”
“A certain video. Elijah made me destroy the hard copy of course, but I confess I lied a little when I told him I didn’t have any digital copies.” His mouth curved. “I never go anywhere without an insurance policy.”
Shit. There it was. Exactly what they needed. “I take it Elijah knows nothing about that?”
“Of course not.”
“What’s on it that he took offense to anyway? Apart from the rape of a sixteen-year-old boy?”
Conrad laughed again. “Very clever. But what Elijah is after is none of your business. The only thing you need to concern yourself with is paying me what you owe me.”
“Give me one reason why I should give you anything.”
Conrad moved, coming around the side of the couch, slow and predatory, the firelight casting shadows over his face.
And Alex felt … only surprise. Because Conrad didn’t seem so sinister now. He obviously looked after himself, but there were wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, sagging along his jaw and his neck, his waist thickening.
Conrad wasn’t a young man anymore.
“You came all this way just for me?” Alex asked, vaguely curious. “Why?”
The other man stopped and was silent a long time. Then he said, “Because you were so fucking afraid of me. And fear has always been the most potent aphrodisiac I know.” He smiled and for the first time, Alex saw past that smile. Saw the desperation underneath it. And the fear. Jesus. This sad, desperate old man was afraid.
“Is it?” Alex said quietly. “So why are you scared then?”
Conrad moved suddenly, closing the gap between them, anger burning bright in his eyes. “You think you rule the world, don’t you?” he hissed. “You think you know everything, you arrogant little shit. But you’re young. You barely even know you’re alive. Wait until your life is slipping away from you, the years getting shorter and shorter. You’ll grab at anything you can to stop it. Anything.” He reached into his jacket again and Alex knew this time what he was going to pull out. And that it was too late to do anything about it.
The gun was small, but size didn’t matter when the barrel was pointed at your head.
“Can you feel it now, son?” Conrad murmured. “Can you feel your life slipping away from you? Can you feel the minutes growing shorter? The seconds ticking down? It’ll come for you, like it’s coming for me. But you know, perhaps you’ll go first. After I relive a few old memories of course.”
Perhaps he should have been afraid. Yet he wasn’t. He felt calm. Sure of things. More certain than he’d ever felt in his life.
He didn’t look at the gun; he looked at Conrad instead. Into the old man’s cold eyes. “Pull that trigger then,” he said. “Maybe I was once afraid of you. But I’m not anymore.”
“You think I wouldn’t do it? I could bend you over the arm of that chair, fuck you right now. Make you like it. Then I could put a bullet through your brain. Easily.”
Alex only stared at him and all he could feel was pity. “You won’t do that. You’re too much of a fucking coward.”
“That’s what your father said.” Conrad smiled. “Before I shot him.”
It didn’t penetrate for a second because the words, at first, didn’t mean anything. How could Conrad have shot his father? Daniel St. James had killed himself. Everyone knew that.
“Bullshit,” Alex said.
The old man laughed. “He was going to go public. He was going to take everything to the police. I told him it would be a mistake, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted justice for you, can you imagine that? He wasn’t happy when I told him you’d agreed to it, that I’d had your consent. In fact, that only seemed to make him more determined.”
> Shock froze Alex to the spot.
“You see my dilemma,” Conrad went on. “He was going to expose us all. So I had to do something. Making it look like suicide was easy. And in a way he did kill himself. If he hadn’t been so fucking stubborn—”
There was a sound at the door and abruptly it opened.
Conrad turned sharply, the gun aiming at whoever was coming through the door.
Katya.
Everything slowed down, like a movie moving frame by frame. Conrad’s hand lifting, his finger moving to the trigger, Katya going for her weapon. Too late. Too fucking late.
A knife edge of raw anguish tore through Alex’s shock, shattering his paralysis. That bullet would hit her and there would be no way to avoid it. No way to stop Conrad from pulling that trigger. No way to stop the death that was coming for her.
Except there was one way.
She thought he was a man worth saving. But she was a woman worth dying for.
Alex reached out and grabbed Conrad’s arm, pulling it down at the same time as he stepped in front of the gun. It fired. There was a concussion and he felt something explode through him, like being hit by a car at high speed. It took him a moment to realize he was on his back and he couldn’t move, though oddly enough there was no pain.
Someone screamed his name.
Katya’s face appeared in his slowly clouding vision, tears streaming down her face. “Alexei … Oh, my Alexei … You stupid, stupid man. Nyet … nyet.…”
He tried to smile. Tried to speak. But his voice wouldn’t work. With supreme effort of will, he managed to get his hand over hers where it rested on his chest. It felt wet, but he didn’t want to think about that. He only wanted her to stay. Only wanted her to stay and never leave him.
“Don’t go,” he whispered, or at least he hoped he managed to get it out. And he hoped she heard.
I think I love you. Please don’t leave me.
But he had to say the last in his head. Before the blackness came.
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