by J. H. Croix
Marley’s eyes widened. A small smile played at the corners of her mouth when she looked at Becca.
“What?” Becca asked, fighting the flush racing up her neck and face again.
“I had a hunch the first time I saw you two in the same room.”
“You did?!”
“Let’s just say if you thought you were being discreet, you weren’t. Whenever you got the chance, you were eyeing him and vice versa.”
Ginger had just taken a sip of coffee and almost spit it out when she laughed. Becca gave up fighting her flush and put her face in her hands and groaned.
Chapter 23
Aidan came to a stop in the driveway and glanced around. Garrett had invited him to stop by this afternoon. Aidan had taken him up on it for two reasons. Garrett was a good friend and he wanted to see him, and it gave him a reason to leave Becca to her own devices. Some moments, she was warm and affectionate, but in others, that familiar guarded look passed over her face. He didn’t want to overwhelm her anymore than he already had. It was early afternoon. The sun was already starting its slide down the sky. Garrett and Delia’s home was situated on a bluff overlooking Kachemak Bay. The view was breathtaking. The bay sparkled under the sun, the mountains rising tall on the opposite side. A rocky beach spread out at the foot of the bluff.
Aidan climbed out of his truck and walked toward the house. It was a two-story timber-frame home with a wrap around porch. An eagle flew into view, swooping low and emitting a high-pitched call. Aidan watched as it slowed in flight, the beat of its massive wings audible, and came to land on the corner of the roof. The majestic bird took a moment to settle itself, folding its wings down and turning to watch Aidan. For a flash, he considered what it would feel like to be prey of this massive bird. Its eyes were sharp and piercing, its gaze so focused, he felt like the bird could see right through him.
The front door swung open as he walked up the steps. Garrett grinned and stepped through the door, pulling Aidan into a bear hug.
“Hey man, glad you made it!” Garrett stepped back. “Come on in.”
Aidan followed Garrett into the house. The home was warm and inviting. There was a small foyer, cluttered with shoes and boots kicked off and coats hung haphazardly on hooks along the wall. Beyond that, they entered an expansive living room with wall-to-wall windows offering a view of the mountains and bay. The kitchen was off to one side with a curving counter and stools and a round table by the windows. He followed Garrett into the kitchen.
“Water, soda, or beer?” Garrett asked.
“Water’s good for now. I’m meeting Gage for dinner and drinks later.”
Garrett gestured him toward the table and followed him over with two glasses of water. Aidan took a seat and surveyed the view. He turned back to Garrett. “Beautiful place.”
“Thanks. We love it.”
“Gotta say. You look more relaxed than I’ve ever seen you. Life with Delia’s treating you pretty good.”
Garrett’s eyes lit up. “Life’s damn good. Moving up here is best decision I’ve made. Ever,” he said decisively. He paused, his eyes sobering. “Well, it wasn’t moving here. It was Delia.”
Aidan nodded, his throat tightening. He couldn’t help but think of Becca. He distracted himself with a gulp of water. They chatted about superficial matters at first with Aidan offering updates on mutual acquaintances in Seattle and hearing about Garrett’s work in Alaska. After a few minutes, Garrett eyed him for a beat too long.
“Let’s get to it. What’s up with you and Becca?”
Aidan had prepared himself for Garrett’s questions. While he was somewhat nervous, he wasn’t as bothered as he had been about Gage. Perhaps because he’d worked alongside Gage for so long. “Look, if you’re pissed, let’s get that out of the way first.”
Garrett’s mouth tightened as he nodded slowly. “Not sure if I’m pissed or not. It all depends on what’s going on.”
Aidan ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Fair enough. Look, we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago. She means a lot to me. A lot. I’d like to give you a definitive answer on what’s going on with us, but I’m waiting for Becca. She’s, uh…” He paused and turned to look out over the water, considering what to say.
Garrett interjected. “She’s been committed to nothing more than her work for years. I’m not sure what you were about to say, but Becca’s one of the most stubborn people I know. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but her stubborn streak hasn’t done her any favors ever since her engagement went south right before her wedding. If you were looking for a fling, I’d kick your ass. But I don’t get the idea that’s what your after because you’re not that kind of guy.”
Aidan’s chest tightened. To say he wasn’t looking for a fling was an understatement. He was looking for the opposite. He just didn’t know how long he’d have to wait. He shook his head. “No, not after a fling.”
“She told me about you.”
“She did?” He was more than a little surprised.
Garrett nodded slowly. “Don’t think she meant to, but I knew something was up. We are twins, so it’s kind of a sixth sense thing sometimes.”
Aidan waited for Garrett to offer more. When he didn’t, Aidan sighed and figured he was going to have to do the asking. “Anything I should know?”
Garrett shrugged. “Nothing she said. If my guess is right, you mean more than a little to her. She’s all twisted up about it. Becca’s not exactly easy on herself, so she’s not easy on anyone else either. Whatever you do, don’t give up just because she pushes back. That’s what she’s expecting.”
***
Late that night, Becca stared out the window. She’d spent so much time watching the stars through this window since she’d been here, she almost had the pattern of stars memorized. She and Aidan had dinner with Gage and Marley earlier. She’d spent the evening feeling her past and present collide. Over the years, she’d had many dinners with Aidan and various configurations of family members. The buzz of attraction had always been there, but she’d kept it muted somehow. Now, it had flared to a fire inside. His presence added fuel to the fire, the flames licking through her. With him, she felt a mix of comfort and disquiet at once. Comfort from his familiarity, his solid, strong, steady as a rock presence. Disquiet from the sheer depth of longing she felt, the electricity that sizzled to life around them. She didn’t know how anyone couldn’t notice it. Somehow she’d gotten through dinner, her pulse running wild every minute of it and desire beating like a drum in her heart and body.
Seconds after the door closed behind them when they stepped into her suite, the shields had fallen and they’d torn each other’s clothes off. Once again, she scaled peaks of pleasure with Aidan. When he was with her, she somehow settled down with ease, soft as a feather once they were twined together and the passion burned down to embers. What she feared was what might happen later. The crash would be hard, brutal pain. How she’d felt after Kyle’s betrayal couldn’t even touch what she might feel. She didn’t know how she’d fallen so far and so fast. She’d been so confident she could keep the walls up around her heart. Aidan had slipped through her defenses and not in the way she’d expected. He was all brawny, special forces, military strength. Instead of sparring with her and trying to ram his way in, he did the opposite. He let her set the tone and the pace. The only time he’d pushed, at all, was to tell her how he felt when he showed up at the lodge. At moments, she wanted him to push harder, but she didn’t know if that would make things better or worse. Even if it was hard to admit, she knew well her tendency to strike out if she felt cornered.
His breathing was even and steady in sleep. He was spooned behind her. She could feel the hard planes of his body against the contrasting softness of hers. Emotion knotted her chest. She didn’t know how to do this, how to handle the intensity of her feelings. It felt so damn good to be held close against him. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but her mind was running on its well-worn tracks
—of worry, of doubt, of not believing in possibilities.
Chapter 24
Aidan came out of the bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist. Oscar came to his side, nudging his knee quickly before turning back to sit at Becca’s feet. Becca stood by the counter. Her arms were wrapped around her waist. His gut coiled with tension. He rubbed his hair with another towel and quickly got dressed, electing to give her the space she seemed to need.
Becca turned to him when he came back out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Her eyes had a frantic look, and her words tumbled out rapidly. “Look, you have to know I really appreciate you came up here. I heard everything you said the other night. I just need…I need…” She threw her hands up. “I don’t know, I don’t know. I have to go.”
Before Aidan had a chance to say anything, she snatched her purse off the counter and fled the room. Oscar started to follow her, but the door slammed in his face. He immediately came to Aidan’s side, nudging his knee again, as if to persuade Aidan to allow him to follow Becca. Aidan plunked down on the bed and stroked Oscar’s head.
“Let’s hang for a bit. Okay, buddy?” He tried to keep his voice calm to counter the tension running through him, but it was taking all of his discipline not to run after Becca.
A soft rumble came from Oscar and he leaned his head into Aidan’s hand.
***
Becca carefully made her way down the steep trail. After she’d bolted from her suite at the lodge, she’d asked the receptionist for suggestions for nearby hiking trails. The receptionist had helpfully handed over a brochure, which listed many trails, ranked by difficulty. She needed a challenge, so she’d opted for one of the more challenging trails. The brochure promised a hike through a boreal forest, an incline down the mountainside following a rocky stream that spilled out into the ocean.
At the moment, she was following the stream along a boulder-strewn trail. She had to focus on every step, so her mind was only half on Aidan. Not much could blunt the feeling of sheer stupidity she felt every time she thought about how she acted this morning. She’d woken out of sorts and anxious with her mind spinning madly with worry and doubt. Next thing she’d known, she was practically sprinting down the hall, desperate to escape how out of control she felt.
Awhile later, she heard the rhythmic roll of waves coming onto shore. The trail turned and opened up onto the beach. The spruce forest gave way to tall grasses and then rocks and sand. She walked onto the beach and took a gulp of salty ocean air. Kachemak Bay sparkled under the late morning sun. She turned and looked behind her. The lower flank of the mountain rose up, evergreens marching their way up the mountainside. To her side, the crystal clear stream rushed over rocks and spilled into the ocean.
She loosened the straps on her backpack and set it down on a boulder. Though she hadn’t planned this hike, she’d conveniently left her backpack in her car from the trip up here, so she had a few snack bars and water. She was still berating herself for leaving Oscar behind. She’d been so wound up, all she could think of was how fast she could escape. She sat down and nibbled on a snack bar while she watched the waves roll in and out. An eagle flew low across the water. In a flash, it dipped low and came up with a fish wiggling in its talons. She gasped and then laughed at herself. The eagle continued its flight and landed on the shore some distance away.
Becca stashed her water bottle in her backpack again and slung it over her shoulders. She walked along the shore, the rhythm of waves soothing her. A cool breeze gusted into shore. When the sun was high in the sky, she decided she couldn’t keep avoiding Aidan forever and turned back.
She made her way up the trail, the briny scent of the ocean fading as she moved deeper into the spruce forest. She hadn’t come to any conclusions, but she had managed to knock her mind off its loop. The walk uphill was slow, but she held a steady pace. To her side, the ground angled steeply down toward the stream as the trail wound its way up the bluff. She came around a corner, the lush spruce branches shielding her view until she turned, and gasped when she saw two moose standing there. Their heads swung in unison toward her. They were tall, gangly and brown. She froze and conveniently the moose remained where they were, turning away after a few seconds of staring at her to nibble on a cluster of alder trees.
When she managed to breathe again, she considered her options. Gage and Marley had warned her that moose could be unpredictable. They weren’t predatory, but would charge if threatened. Apparently, they were near-sighted to the point they could be startled by the sheer fact they often didn’t see someone approaching until the last minute. At the moment, this pair didn’t seem bothered by her presence. Problem was, she needed to get to the other side of them to make it back to her car, which meant passing close by them. With the hillside plunging steeply down to one side, she didn’t have any way to detour around them.
Though she’d been born in Diamond Creek, she was by no means an Alaskan who knew how to deal with random moose in the forest. She’d been mostly raised in between Seattle and Bellingham. Her parents frequently took them on hikes growing up, but moose weren’t exactly common down there. This was an encounter she didn’t know how to problem solve. She waited for several quiet moments, unsure if moving away would draw their attention or not. Suddenly, there was a scratching sound nearby. She glanced around, her eyes landing on a porcupine making its way up a nearby tree. Despite the anxiety of her predicament, she smiled at the sight. It paused and looked down curiously at her before carrying on its nimble climb up the tree. The two moose suddenly moved, breaking into a run in her direction.
The moose ran right past her, entirely unconcerned with her presence. Startled, she stepped back. Her ankle caught on the edge of a boulder. Her knee wrenched sharply, and she cried out, the pain sharp and acute. She struggled to keep her balance and found herself rolling down the incline. She came to a thudding stop in the edge of the icy stream.
She scrambled out of the water, ignoring the pain in her knee, and glanced up. It wasn’t far, but the hill she’d just rolled down was steep. Getting back up would be easier if she followed the stream back to the ocean and up the trail again. Her breath hissed through her teeth when she tried to take a step. With a sigh, she sat down on a boulder and rolled up her jeans to check her knee. Pain was pounding through her leg and her knee was jutting out to the side.
“Fuck!” She exclaimed to no one. She glanced up wondering if the porcupine could see or hear her. The moose were long gone. She couldn’t see the porcupine from down here, but she figured it was nearby. Her stomach knotted. She’d managed to dislocate her knee. Years ago, she’d experienced this once before when she was playing basketball with her brothers and had fallen. She remembered the pain of putting her knee back into joint more vividly than the fall itself. She also recalled the doctor warning her she had a higher risk of dislocating it again as a result of the first incident. There was no way she could walk back without popping her knee back in. Her left arm was also achy. Her sleeve had torn and there was a nasty scrape on her forearm, but she couldn’t see any other injuries.
She tugged her phone out to call. Much as she hated calling for help, she didn’t know if she could make it back up the trail without it. She quickly tapped the call button. Her screen blinked the ‘no service’ warning repeatedly. “Dammit!” She shoved her phone in her pocket. Without phone reception, she had no choice but to do something about her knee herself. She took several fortifying breaths and glanced down at her knee. She didn’t see any way around this. If she waited, she’d psyche herself out, so she gritted her teeth and set one hand firmly on her calf to hold her leg still. Adrenaline pumped through her as she quickly curled her other hand around her knee and pressed firmly and swiftly against it. Pain sheared through her as the knee popped back into place. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she could barely catch her breath. After the first few moments, the pain started to dull to an aching throb. She scrubbed her cheeks dry with her sleeve and finally managed a full breath.
She fumbled in her pack for her water bottle and forced herself to drink some. After a few more moments of rest, she figured she’d better get going. She had plenty of time to get back with hours of daylight left. She straightened her jeans and stood slowly, testing her weight on her knee. Her knee throbbed like hell, but it held.
Chapter 25
Aidan ran up the ski slope with Oscar bounding alongside him. After an aimless morning once Becca took off, he’d ending up helping Gage with a few projects around the lodge. Gage mercifully didn’t ask him about Becca. He seemed to consider the talk they’d had before Aidan arrived in Diamond Creek enough for now. That was one of the things Aidan appreciated about Gage as a friend. He was direct and to the point—he didn’t spend much time repeating himself. Once Gage holed up in his office to work on activities Aidan couldn’t help with, Aidan headed to the suite and changed into his running clothes. He needed the burn of a good run to take his mind off of Becca. The steep ski slopes offered exactly what he needed.
He crested the top of the peak and paused by a small ski hut. He walked in a loop to slow his breathing before he stopped and looked around. The peak offered a three-hundred and sixty degree of the area. It was a spectacular view. Smaller peaks rose nearby to one side. Several volcanoes could be seen in the far distance in one direction. This part of Alaska was in the Ring of Fire, an area in the Pacific Ocean containing the largest number of active volcanoes in the world. As he spun slowly in a circle, Kachemak Bay came into view. The mountains across were silent sentries, the deep green trees along the flanks a contrast against the blue-gray water. The water’s surface was ruffled by the wind. Boats dotted the bay, a mix of fishing vessels, charter boats and a few sailing boats.
He took a deep breath, savoring the crisp air, scented with a hint of spruce. Oscar scampered around the area, sniffing everything in his path. He eventually made his way back to Aidan’s side. Aidan knelt at his side and stroked his hand down Oscar’s back. Oscar nuzzled his shoulder for a moment and then pinned him with his brown gaze. Aidan would never argue the point that he could read a dog’s mind, but he sensed Oscar was asking him where Becca was.