“Said you love me. Figured you weren’t lyin’.” For fuck’s sake, he hoped she hadn’t lied. Or even been mistaken. His chest got tight at that thought.
“No, I wasn’t lying. I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
“You weren’t confused ‘bout it, either, right?”
“No. You’re an easy person to love,” she admitted.
No, she was wrong. So fucking wrong.
“Think you got that backward, baby girl. Gonna lay my balls out on the table an’ say, never been in love with anyone before. Never. So, I’d like you to stick, Em. Wanna make this work, make a family. You, me, Lily, an’, hopefully, Caitlin, too.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he raised a hand to let him finish. “Before you tell me that you can’t raise your little girl above this club, I got it. Believe me. Definitely decided to let the club go. Talked to Z an’ Hawk. Made some decisions to move forward with that.”
Her blue eyes widened. “What?”
“Yeah, gonna move on to another DAMC business an’ also find a decent place to live.”
“Dawson, I told you before, you can’t give up everything for us!”
He could, and he would if he needed to, but... “And like I told you, ain’t just for you, Em. Doin’ it for Caitlin, too. Keeks confirmed that my chances will be better to get visitation if I ain’t livin’ above this club an’ not managin’ it, too.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Yeah. Even if you decide not to stick, gonna do it no matter what. You made me see how important my daughter should be to me. An’ if you do stick, you three girls will be my number one priority. Got me?”
“Dawson.” The way she let his name escape on a breath caused his stomach to flip and not in a good way.
He shook his head. “No. Gonna do it no matter what, baby girl.” He braced himself because what he was about to say was the hardest shit he’d said in a long time. “So don’t feel like you’re obligated to stick.” Fuck! “You need to go, you go.” But don’t fuckin’ go. “Do what’s best for you an’ Lily, got me? I’ll be okay either way.” Probably would flay me open an’ rip my fuckin’ guts out, but, yeah, I’ll be okay. Eventually.
She raised her eyebrows. “So you’d be perfectly fine with me leaving?”
“Truth?”
“Of course,” she insisted.
“Fuck no!” he shouted.
Emma laughed. “Didn’t think so, but it sure sounded good and it was almost convincing.”
“Fuck, Em, don’t want you to leave. Fuck no. Wanna marry you, make you my ol’ lady.”
Her head jerked on the pillow at his words. “Dawson... like I said, I’m not even divorced yet.”
“And like I said, you’ll be free soon.” Sooner than you think. “Just wanna hear you say yes. That you wanna be with me an’ the rest will fall into place.”
“Are you sure you want to help raise a seven-year-old?”
“Wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want that.”
She covered her face with her hands. “Everything’s happening so fast.”
He grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away. “Know it, baby girl. If it’s too fast, we’ll get you an’ Lily settled somewhere that ain’t here, an’ I’ll move into one of the rooms at church ‘til you’re ready.”
Emma stared up into his face and he could see the mix of emotions rolling through her. “Dawson, I need to find a teaching job, and I might not be able to find one in this area. And now that I gave up my apartment... It... it opens up opportunities for me to move where there’s work. It might not be feasible to stay in Shadow Valley. Or, hell, even in the Pittsburgh area. I can’t not work. I can’t put you in that position that you’d have to support me and even Lily. That’s not fair to you.”
“Baby girl...”
“No, I’ve never not worked, Dawson. Lily’s seven. She’ll be in school. She doesn’t need me to stay home. I...”
“Lily might not be your only kid...”
Her mouth gaped open. “This is too much. I can’t... You’re talking marriage and moving in together and helping raise my daughter... Having a baby with you! It’s too much to wrap my head around. I’m sorry. I need time... We’ve known each other for only a little more than three weeks now. Why—”
“Why,” he repeated. He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his chest over his heart. “Why? ‘Cause I know here, it’s the right thing to do, Em. This is right. There was a reason you walked into my life. For both of us.”
“You’re sacrificing so much...”
“Ain’t a sacrifice. Wouldn’t do shit if I didn’t wanna.”
“These are huge decisions for both of us...”
“An’ that’s tellin’ you how fuckin’ serious I am.”
“The cursing, Dawson...”
What? “Fuck,” his eyes widened. “Oh shit, sorry. Gotta learn to quit cursin’ in front of the girls, right?”
Emma chuckled as she grinned and shook her head. “Yes, that would be a good idea. Can you do it?”
Fuck. Could he? “Don’t know. Hard habit to break. Will do my best though.”
“You can say fudge instead of fuck.”
The fuck if he was going to say fudge instead of fuck. Especially around the brothers. He’d just try not to let it slip. Too often, anyhow.
“So, what’re you sayin’?”
“I...”
He was pushing her, and he needed to stop. Otherwise, she might give him an outright no. And that couldn’t happen. He needed to give her space and time. Lily would need to adjust back to being with her mother before some stranger was living with her. Especially one like him.
He needed a better plan, one she could agree with more easily.
“Listen, gonna give it time. I’ll take a room at church. We’ll set you up somewhere for six months. I’ll get to know Lily slowly. We’ll get all the legal shit squared away. Then, when six months are up, you’re with me. We’ll get a place big enough for all of us. When a teachin’ job comes up, it comes up. No worries. Got me?”
He grimaced at allowing the last part to slip out. He was being bossy and now was not the time for that. Now was a time for asking, not telling, even though that went against his grain.
All the breath left him when she answered softly, “Got you.”
He stared at her. Did she just say...
Did she just agree?
Was she sticking?
Holy fuck.
Holy fuck.
HOLY FUCK!
He dropped his head and kissed her, taking her mouth hard. With relief, she gave the kiss the same fervor he did. His heart was racing, his mind spinning at everything those two words meant. Everything that those two words would change in his life.
For the better.
They could do this, he and Em. The two of them. There was nothing he wanted more. Well, except...
“Wanna fudge you, baby girl. Once more before we go back downstairs.”
He smiled at her peal of laughter. Laughter that quickly dissipated into groans, moans and whispered confessions of how much they needed and wanted each other.
As Dawg carried a box up the steps to Emma’s temporary place, an extended stay hotel that she said was bigger than her former apartment, his phone vibrated in his back pocket.
He walked through the open door as Rooster was heading back to the truck to get another box. They had left most of her stuff in storage since this place was not only furnished, but, he reminded himself again, was only temporary. Six months. That’s all he had to wait.
Six months felt like an eternity but he needed to find the patience to deal with it. Until Lily was home, Emma would spend her nights with him, but once Lily was back on American soil, Emma would be staying in her own place, in her own bed, and he’d be in his. And that fucking sucked.
And he would lose his hostess. Moose was being patched in within the week and the prospect was already on notice that he’d be taking over the reins of Heaven’s Angel
s. He had also been warned he better not fuck it up.
Not just by Dawg, but by every one of the brothers sitting on the Executive Committee. Z was also planning a little visit to Shadow Valley Gun Shop to let Pierce know he would soon have an assistant manager in the DAMC owned business.
Dawg would have a hard time swallowing the idea of reporting to Pierce and if the former DAMC president had any sense, he’d just teach Dawg the basic ins and outs of the business and then let Dawg do his thing. But the way Pierce was, Dawg doubted that’s how it would roll.
Again, Dawg would need patience. Resettling his life was going to take time.
He went into the bedroom to set the box on the bed and watched Emma unpacking some of her clothes and organizing them into a dresser.
“Should help you unpack your clothes, baby girl, an’ make a pile to burn.”
She glanced up from what she was doing. “Why?”
“That shit you wore that first day... That shit’s gotta go in a burn barrel.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners. “You didn’t like it?”
“Fuck no.”
“Fudge,” she corrected him.
“Fuckin’ fudge no.”
She bit her bottom lip, shook her head and continued to pull clothes out of the box.
Fuck! Her and that tasty bottom lip. “Too bad the prospects are comin’ in an’ outta here, I’d fudge you on the bed, so we can christen it.”
“Mmm. I like fudge,” she said playfully.
“Me, too. Never had a sweet tooth before.”
Her laughter filled the small room, which made him want to throw her on the bed anyway, prospects or not, and take her right then and there. The room had a door and a lock...
To hell with the bed, taking her against the wall would work, too. Or on the kitchen counter, or over the back of the couch. Any of those spots would work just fine.
His ass vibrated again. Between that and hearing Jester cursing out in the living room, he sighed. He wasn’t going to get pussy any time soon.
He pulled the phone from his back pocket and hit the power button. Two texts from Diesel. Short and to the point in typical D style.
Church. Now.
Bring your woman.
Fuck.
There were only two things that Dawg could think why they were being summoned. Either Z talked to Pierce and there were issues, or it had to do with Lily.
Since D wanted Em there, he figured it was the second reason.
“Em.”
She lifted her head. “Yeah?”
“Gotta go to church.”
“Okay, I’ll finish up here—”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “You, too.”
Her eyes widened. “Why? What’s going on?”
“Dunno. Gonna go find out. Gonna leave the prospects here to finish an’ then have ‘em drop your key off at the club. Yeah?”
“But—”
“Ain’t no buts. D wants us there, gotta be there. Got me?”
She sighed. “Yeah, baby, I got you.” Then suddenly her spine straightened. “Maybe it’s about Lily!”
The excitement in her voice made him hope that it was and that it was only good news.
She grabbed his cut and tugged. “Oh my God, we have to go. Like now!”
Damn. “Got it, baby girl. We’re goin’. Grab your brain bucket. Takin’ my sled.”
She rushed out of the bedroom to wherever she had put the helmet he bought her. He figured since she was sticking around she needed one of her very own. He’d get Lily one eventually, as well.
“Come on, Daw... Dawg! Let’s go!” he heard her yell from the other room. He snorted, shook his head and followed her out.
Chapter Fifteen
As Dawg escorted Emma into church with a hand to the small of her back, his eyes immediately landed on the large man standing next to the club’s private bar with his ol’ lady.
And it wasn’t just Jewel that accompanied him. It was Ivy and, even more surprising, Diamond.
What the fuck was going on?
As they approached the bar with the huge DAMC logo hand carved out of wood above it, Jewel greeted, “Hey, Emma!”
“Hi,” Emma answered back with a smile. She hadn’t wiped that smile off her face since she got the idea in her head that this meet was about Lily.
Dawg’s gaze slid to Diesel and, of course, D’s expression didn’t give him shit. His face might as well had been chiseled in stone.
Jewel came around the bar to give Emma a quick hug, then turned toward Diamond. “This is my sister, Diamond. She’s also Slade’s ol’ lady. You haven’t met them yet. They’ve been busy setting up a new business for the DAMC.” She gave her sister a wicked smile. “And other stuff...”
Diamond approached with a laugh and enveloped Emma in her arms, giving her a hug, too. “Welcome to the sisterhood.”
Dawg was pleased as hell that the DAMC women were so welcoming and being friendly and open. Emma would eventually fit in perfectly with them. And it would be nice to have the women help her out with Lily when needed, like being available as babysitters for when he and Em would need some private time.
There wasn’t one DAMC woman he wouldn’t trust. And he was sure that wasn’t the norm in most MC’s since women could be catty bitches. He’d seen it first-hand just how brutal they could be at Heaven’s Angels. He’d broken up cat fights before over stupid shit. Like a fucking tube of lipstick. Any dancer that continued to cause problems found her ass outside looking in.
“Glad you’ve decided to stick around,” Ivy said, giving Emma a wide smile. “We can’t wait to meet Lily.”
Jewel and Diamond murmured their agreement.
Dawg let his gaze roll over the redhead wondering why Jag hadn’t knocked her up yet. “Know you fucked up the betting pool,” he told Ivy.
She smirked. “Wasn’t me.” She waved a hand toward Jewel. “Jewelee fucked it all up.”
“It wasn’t me!” Jewel exclaimed. She jerked a thumb toward D. “I can’t help that he’s a beast in bed.”
“What the fuck,” D muttered. “Was on birth control!”
“Yeah, but all the sex you demand gave me a UTI, and I had to go on antibiotics which screwed up—”
Diesel slammed his hand on the bar, making the women jump. “Ain’t here to talk ‘bout your insides.”
Ivy dropped her head and turned her face away, but it was hard to miss her body shaking with laughter.
Diamond smiled, announcing loudly, “Your Ass-holiness has spoken!”
“Diamond, shut the fuck up,” D grumbled with a frown.
She saluted him and rolled her lips under, her blue eyes twinkling.
“Well, D, you called us all here for a reason, so get to it,” Ivy said.
“You mean, you don’t know, either?” Dawg asked her, surprised.
Before Ivy could answer, D spoke up. “Wanted ‘em here for your woman.”
Dawg’s stomach sank, and he glanced at Emma who had suddenly paled. He moved next to her and threw an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She automatically put an arm around his waist and tucked her hand inside his cut, planting it on his gut. When she lifted worried eyes up to him, he gave her a reassuring squeeze.
“Well, baby, now you got them both worried. Will you spill what’s going on and stop leaving us hanging?” Jewel asked her man, the impatience thick in her voice.
So, Jewel didn’t know either. Fuck.
“Maybe she should sit down on one of the couches,” D suggested but his words were quickly drowned by all three of the DAMC women screaming, “No!”
“No one’s sitting on those couches,” Diamond said, shuddering.
“They need to be burned,” Ivy agreed.
“Whatever,” D muttered. “Got bad news.” At Emma’s gasp, D lifted his hand. “Lily’s all right. But there was a bad car accident.” D’s dark eyes met his. Dawg knew what was coming next... “Husband didn’t make it. My guys are in th
e country an’ was ‘bout to make contact when they heard. Not thinkin’ the girlfriend’s goin’ to fight my men takin’ custody of her an’ escortin’ her back to the States, but need your permission anyhow, just in case.”
D’s gaze dropped from Dawg to Emma as he waited for her answer.
The whole time D was talking, Emma had become stiff. Now, she still stood frozen in place, clinging to him. He adjusted his hold on her to make sure she didn’t drop to the floor.
The women’s worried eyes were also glued to his woman. Then it hit Dawg why they were there... In case she needed support while dealing with the news. D must have thought the women could help.
It was hard to imagine that the man would care enough to think that through. But sometimes he surprised them all.
Dawg also realized D had purposely blown quickly through the explanation and wondered when it would hit Emma that her estranged husband was dead.
Though, it didn’t take long for D’s words to sink in...
“Oh my God, he’s dead?” Emma whispered in a shaky voice.
The DAMC women watched her carefully, as if ready to step in if they were needed. Dawg never loved them more than at that moment.
Emma’s shiny blue eyes landed on Diesel. “You said he’s dead?”
“Yeah,” D grunted. “Lily ain’t hurt. Wasn’t in the car. Was with the girlfriend.”
“I...”
“You okay, baby girl?” Dawg pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Painful shit, I know, but you gotta give D’s crew permission to take Lily from the girlfriend an’ bring ‘er home. Got me?”
Dawg couldn’t imagine the girlfriend would resist. There would be no reason for the woman to want to keep Lily, especially now that the girl’s father was dead.
Em looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes but not falling. Not yet. Her brain was still processing the information. “I... I want to go. I have a passport. I can fly to wherever they are and get her.”
“No,” Diesel said firmly with a shake of his head.
Down & Dirty: Dawg (Dirty Angels MC Book 7) Page 19