by Amy DeMeritt
“Wow, that is so in depth, oh wise one.” Talia laughs and shrugs her shoulders. “Oh, you need more than that? Fine, you chickened out. You were scared that Kayla would meet someone new and you’d be too far away to keep her on your leash. You were afraid to say you love her, because you didn’t want her to know how much she hurt you, if she did find someone new. And you illogically reasoned that if you broke up with her, it would force Kayla to say the things you’d been waiting so long to hear, completely forgetting that Kayla is a lockbox with her thoughts and emotions, especially when she thinks she can get hurt.”
Sam looks at her in shock and then looks at me with pinched eyebrows.
“Did you…” I shake my head. “I haven’t told her anything. Talia is just creepy intuitive.” Talia laughs and pokes Sam with the non-burned end of the pole. “Glad you’re back.” Sam smiles and bends down to hug her. “Brat.” Talia laughs and tickles her some before pushing her away and looking at Madison. “So, you’re the singer and psychologist?”
“That’s the plan.”
“That’s cool.” She looks at Sam and grins really big. “Sam, I don’t know why you’re coming to me to be psycho analyzed when one of your girlfriends can do it for you.”
We all laugh and Sam lunges for her, but Talia quickly leaps up and starts running. Sam chases her around the yard, but Talia is only toying with her. Sam can’t run as fast as Talia, so Talia is just making her run in circles as she dodges and fakes turns. She surprises Sam and turns and grabs her in her arms and they fall to the ground wrestling and laughing. Talia has always loved to tease and wrestle with Sam. They’re similar in size, but Talia is a little stronger, so she can get an edge over on her that she could never get over Sara and I. Sam doesn’t have any siblings, so she loves playing with mine.
I pick up the pole Talia had dropped, loop an arm around Madison’s waist and pull her over to the fire with me. I kiss her lips and she smiles and wraps an arm around me, before taking my pole and poking at the fire with it.
“When do you want to go over your house to talk to your parents?” Madison looks at me in a sad way and shakes her head. “I don’t know. I’m having a lot of fun with you and your family, and your parents have an amazing dinner planned. I want to see what this magic spell is that your brother has planned for you. I think I want to wait till tomorrow. I just don’t want any of this to end.”
“Ok, we can go in the morning after breakfast. But, you should text them soon and tell them that.” She nods and leans her head on my shoulder. “I will. I really like your family. I’m sorry mine isn’t as welcoming and as amazing as yours. My brother and sister aren’t as bad as my parents, but we’re not as close as you are to your siblings.”
“Baby, don’t be sorry for that. As long as they don’t change the way you feel about me and our family, I’ll take whatever they can dish.” She smiles and kisses my lips. “They can’t change that. I love you, and I love Sam and Shannon. I want what we have, even if I lose my family.” She frowns and looks down at the fire. I squeeze her closer and she leans her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Maddi, and I really hope that doesn’t happen.”
We hear panting behind us and Talia and Sam clumsily fall into two chairs breathing hard. Sam has a couple dirt smudges on her face and her hair is a mess. Madison and I laugh a little at her disheveled appearance and Sam looks up at me and laughs and shakes her hair.
“Your sister is a brute.”
Talia laughs and playfully kicks out at Sam’s leg. Sam smiles and scoots her chair away from her, making all of us laugh again. I walk over to Sam and pull her up from her chair. She smiles and kisses my lips while I fix her hair and wipe the dirt smudges off her cheeks.
“Did she hurt you?” Sam grins in a mischievous way and glances at Talia. “Maybe. What are you going to do if she did?” Talia laughs. “Shut up, Sam. I didn’t hurt you.”
“Talia, are you beating up on Sam again?” Talia looks back at our dad and laughs. “No. I was just giving her a hug.” We laugh and he shakes his head. “Your idea of a hug is a bit strange, kid. Come help me with the grate.”
Our dad sets a large lidded cast iron pot down next to the fire pit and puts two super heat resistant gloves on and hands a pair to Talia. We watch them pull the grate to the side and then our dad carefully lowers the pot into a corner of the fire pit. With a pair of long tongs, he picks up some hot coals and loads them onto the flat lid of the pot. They slide the grate back in place and then our dad ruffles Talia’s hair, tells her to, “behave”, and then walks back to the house.
We all sit down and watch the fire pit and listen to Joey and Talia talk about school for a while. It’s really nice, but I feel like something is missing. I stand up and Madison and Sam look at me confused.
“I’ll be back.”
When I come into the kitchen, Shannon is standing at the counter with my mom and they’re both smiling and laughing while they cut veggies. My dad is working on peeling and coring apples on the counter behind them. I smile and feel my heart burst with happiness. My mom and Shannon look up and smile really big when they see me.
“Hey, sweetie. Do you need something?” I smile at my mom and shake my head. “I just wanted to come and say, hi.” My mom laughs and nudges Shannon. “She missed you.” Shannon smiles and blushes. “We’re almost done in here. Why don’t you help your father stuff the apples?”
“Ok.”
I take my hoodie off and step behind them so I can get to the sink to wash my hands. I wrap my arms around Shannon from behind and give her a kiss on the cheek. Our eyes meet and she looks so happy that it makes it hard to let her go. I squeeze her for a moment and then tackle my mom, making her laugh. I kiss her cheek and she gently pats my face a few times.
I quickly wash my hands and just as I’m turning to help my dad, Sam and Madison walk in. Sam looks at Madison with a smile and laughs, saying, “Told you.”
“What?” Sam looks at me with a cute grin and shakes her head. “Anything we can do?” My dad wipes his hands on a towel, pats my shoulder, and starts to walk out to the dining room area. “You girls can help Kayla with the apples. I’ll go get the tenderloin on the rotisserie.”
Madison and Sam come into the kitchen and I smile as each of them stops and gives Shannon a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. They wash their hands and then face me expectantly, waiting for instruction on what to do.
I have Sam smash a bunch of ginger snap cookies in a bag and have Madison mix some brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves into the softened butter. This is one of the few things I’ve helped my mom make on many occasions, so I actually know what I’m doing and how much of everything we need. We mix some of the butter mixture with the cookies, just till they are sticking together, and then stuff the cookie mixture into the center of the peeled and cored apples. We then cut pie crusts into rounds, smear a big glob of the butter mixture over each one, and then wrap them around each apple. This only works well with small apples, because the apples don’t soften enough before the crust cooks with large apples. We always pick apples that are just a little smaller than a tennis ball. After they’re wrapped, I melt the little bit of remaining butter and brush each bundle.
We wash our hands really well and then my mom comes to appraise our work. She smiles and kisses my cheek.
“Looks good. We’re all done in here. We won’t start the veggies still the tenderloin is almost done. You girls can go back outside to the fire. I’ll be out soon.”
“Ok. Hey, can we have some cider?” My mom smiles and nods. “Yes, of course. Do you want it cold or hot?” We all say, “hot”, at the same time and my mom laughs. She pulls out a large blue enameled camp fire kettle and hands it to me. She hands Madison a stack of matching mugs, and then pulls a large glass gallon jug of fresh cider out of the fridge. “Ok, let’s go.”
My mom fills the kettle and places it on the grill grate over the fire and we take a seat around the fire. This has to be one of the most amazing moments
of my life. I love my family so much and that we do things like this together. I love that I’m able to share this with my girls and that we can all be so happy and relaxed in each other’s company. I love that we feel like one big family. The feeling of being home has never felt stronger than it does right now. My whole body feels like its pulsing with energy.
I look around the fire at everyone and my mood slightly deflates. There is one thing missing, or rather one person missing that would make this absolutely perfect – Awenasa. I glance to my sides and decide to risk it. Madison and Shannon are sitting on either side of me. If Sam was sitting next to me, it probably would be a bad idea. She would probably try to see who I’m talking to and would recognize the name and contact photo right away.
Me: The smell of fire makes me miss you like crazy. I’m sitting around the fire at home with my family and all of my girls. The moment felt completely perfect, till my heart reminded me of your absence.
Awenasa: Hello, my love. I’m glad you made it home safely. If Madison is there, does that mean the talk with her parents went well?
Me: No, it hasn’t happened yet. Things didn’t go as planned. Her dad saw her give Sam a kiss at the airport and was going to slap her, but I pulled Madison out of the way and he got me instead. The left side of my face is bruised again, as if I had been punched. We’re going to wait till tomorrow to go talk to them so he has time to cool off. Depending on how it goes, you may not hear from me for a couple days.
Awenasa: My stomach just became very sick. I don’t have a good feeling about this. You need to be very careful tomorrow. I’m glad you were able to react so quickly – I know how upset you would be if that girl was struck, especially by her own father.
Me: My stomach is sick about it too. I don’t think it’s going to go well. It would hurt worse to watch one of them get hit than to just take it for them.
Awenasa: Can you ask your mom to let me know if something happens? I was so upset last time when I couldn’t reach you for 3 days.
Me: Yes, I’ll definitely ask her to do that. I wish you were here to dance with me.
Awenasa: Me too, puppy. Did you fire dance?
Me: We did. It was fun. I’ve missed that, all of this, so much. I can’t wait till the gathering next summer.
Awenasa: It will be here sooner than you think. The days feel agonizingly long being apart from you, but talking to you everyday helps.
“Hey, sweetie, here’s your cider.” I look over my shoulder and my mom is standing behind me, offering me a mug of cider. I smile and take the mug. “Thanks, Mom.” Her eyes glance at my phone and then look in my eyes with concern. “After you finish that, do you mind helping me with something?” I nod. “Ok, sure.”
Me: I know it’s probably selfish to think it because I have 3 amazing girls that are in love with me and I love them, but I feel the same way. There’s just always something missing because you’re not here. It’s like I’m a puzzle with half of its center and half its boarders missing.
Awenasa: I have those missing pieces and I’ll bring them home to you in the summer.
Me: I love when my puzzle is complete, but then I lose those pieces again when you have to go back home.
Awenasa: I’m bringing them home to you, my love.
Me: Again, you say something that makes my heart flutter with a hope in something I dare not speak because I have waited a long time and thought it would never happen.
Awenasa: I love you, puppy.
Me: I love you too. My mom needs my help with something. I hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night, beautiful.
Awenasa: Thank you. I hope you have a magical evening and everything goes better than we think it will tomorrow with Madison’s family. Please let me know as soon as you can how it goes. Goodnight, my love.
I stand up and slip my phone in my pocket. Madison looks up at me with a curious grin, but doesn’t say anything. I smile and bend down to kiss her. When I pull back, she smiles in an affectionate way.
“I’ll be back.”
My eyes catch my moms and we both immediately start heading for the house, away from everyone else. I follow her into the kitchen and she leans against the counter so she can see out the kitchen window and watch if anyone is coming. She looks at me like she’s trying to read my heart on my face.
“Do you and Awenasa still declare your love for each other, even though you have those three out there?” I nod and look down at my feet, feeling a little bit of shame wash over me. “Does she know about them?” I look up and nod. “She knows everything and actually seems supportive of it.”
“Do they know about her?” I shake my head and her eyebrows raise in a questioning way. “I know. Don’t look at me like that. I just don’t want them to have doubt and insecurities about it when there’s nothing physical or anything between us. I went through that with Sam last summer, but as soon Awenasa was gone, she was fine again.”
“You will have to deal with it though, when the summer gathering happens. Her aunts have been dropping weird hints that this year will be different, but they won’t tell me what’s going on. They are acting like silly schoolgirls about it. Has something changed between you two?”
“I don’t know. Awenasa has made similar comments, but says I have to wait till the summer when we can talk about what she means.”
“Are you prepared to deal with it, if she asks for a serious relationship?” I smile really big and run my fingers through my hair. My mom actually smiles and pulls me into a hug. “Oh, my sweet angel, your heart has chosen such a complicated path of love.”
“I need a favor.” She pulls back to look at me. “I told her what happened with Madison’s dad today and we both have a sick feeling in our stomachs about us going there tomorrow to talk to him. Can you let her know if something happens to me?” My mom’s face contorts into pained worry and pulls me in harder against her. “Yes, of course, but please be careful. I have a very bad feeling about that man as well. I’m very proud of how you handled that today. I couldn’t believe I was watching my sweet little girl take on that giant so fearlessly. It terrified me, but I was so proud.” I smile and kiss her cheek. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, angel. Ok, let’s bring these veggies out.”
I help her carry out a couple long trays of sliced vegetables and my dad takes the trays and starts loading them on the cooler end of the grate. I take my seat again and Madison reaches over and takes my hand, making me smile.
“Hey, beautiful.” She smiles and kisses my hand. “Everything ok?” I nod and move my chair closer to her, but also reach out to Shannon, beckoning her to come closer. After our chairs are pulled together, I lean over and kiss both of them on the lips. “Are you warm enough?” They nod and lean their heads on my shoulders.
We sit around talking and drinking cider for a while. Occasionally, someone gets up and tends to the fire. When the tenderloin is mostly finished, my mom asks me to set the table. I smile as all my girls stand and follow me inside.
We take our jackets off and I grab the extra leaf for the table out of the hall closet and lean it against the wall. As I’m about to climb under the table, Shannon grabs my hand and wraps her arms around my waist.
“Thank you.” I smile and kiss her lips. “For what, baby?” She smiles really big and pulls me closer. “For asking me to come with you. I was missing my family and missing home, but I feel like I am home and surrounded by family.” Her eyes tear up and she lays her head on my chest. I kiss her forehead and tighten my embrace. “We’ll always have home when we’re all together, no matter where we are.” Shannon lifts her head to look at me and smiles really big. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Chapter Six
I wake up and find Madison sitting up in bed with her knees pulled up to her chest and she’s watching us with a sad look in her eyes. Our eyes meet and she gives me a small smile. I sit up and she moves over to sit between my legs, with her back to my
chest. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the side of her neck.
Sara offered us her mattress last night and slept on the couch so we could place both mattresses on the floor and sleep together. It wasn’t as comfortable as Shannon’s big king size bed, but it worked. Sam and Shannon are still asleep with Sam wrapped around Shannon from behind, facing the other direction.
“I’m scared.” She speaks at just above a whisper, trying not to wake our girls. “I know. Me too.” She squeezes my arms around herself and leans into me more. “Will you go with me?”
“There’s no way I’m allowing you to go alone, Maddi. I’ll be by your side the whole time.”
“He was angry I didn’t come home last night and that I was staying with you. He asked me who Sam is and why I was kissing her. I didn’t know what to say, so I ignored him. I can’t lie to him about them. I can’t say I’m only dating you. The idea of saying they are only friends makes me sick to my stomach.”
Sam and Shannon sit up and Madison starts to cry. They quickly move to either side of me so they can wrap their arms around her. Sam gently takes Madison’s face in her hands and kisses her lips.
“Baby, are you sure you’re ready to tell them about our family? I won’t be upset if you want to wait.” Madison shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “No, I don’t want to pretend. I had to do that for too long when I was living at home. Now that I know what it’s like to be free and be myself, I can’t go back in that cage. I won’t do it.”
“Then we’ll go with you. We’ll go as a family.” Madison looks between them and nods once. “I think I need that. But it’s going to be horrible. He may say some really ugly things to all of you.”
“It doesn’t matter, Maddi. We love you and this is something we have to do as a family, no matter how bad it is.” Madison smiles at Sam and wraps her arms around her. “I love you. I love all of you. Thank you for doing this for me.”