by Ryan Michele
“Good thing I don’t want to find out,” I throw back at him, exit and walk briskly back to my office. Moving directly to the bathroom, I sit on the toilet and put my head in my hands. Austin. Why does it still hurt?
The more I think about it, the more my head throbs. The migraine is brewing, and I still have a few hours left on my shift. I need to calm myself. I need to get over this. It was bound to happen. I can’t avoid him my entire life.
When we were together, I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. I had young girl pipe dreams about a man who only saw me as pussy. I loved a man who thought I was nothing but a plaything. The emotions of that time bubble up as the tears splash over. I just want it all to go away. Why couldn’t my memory loss have included him?
Chapter 4
Torn is not an emotion I’m familiar with!
“I can’t believe I forgot,” Kenderly gasps from her spot at the table. “Andrea and you dated for a while in high school.”
“Old news, Kenderly.” I try to brush it off even as the look of fear in Drea’s eyes holds tight in my mind right now.
“By her reaction and yours, I think there are some things unfinished there.” Kenderly doesn’t hold back her thoughts.
“Not our place, Kenie.” DJ reels his woman in.
“Just callin’ it like I see it, baby. I like Andrea. She’s been through hell. Her life will never be the same after her accident. The fact she can remember the past is a blessing,” Kenderly tries to explain.
I feel physical pain at the thought of Andrea hurting. No matter what has happened, I don’t want her to suffer. I just wish I knew why she ever came into my life in the first place if getting the hell out of here at her first opportunity was her plan all along.
My stomach twists, driving me to want to chase after her. Only we’re two completely different people now. I meant what I said. She can’t handle the man I am today.
Rather than give Kenderly an opportunity to ask any more questions, I head outside the shop and back to my bike. The fresh air hits my face, and I’m automatically ready to ride off. Opening the small pocket on my saddlebag, I run my hand over the small pocket watch hidden inside. It stopped working years ago, but touching the metal reminds me I’m alive and doing well despite all the odds. My grandfather would be proud.
Not removing it but closing it up and safely away, somehow calms me as I settle on my bike to wait. No wonder DJ smokes as much as he does. If my Gramps hadn’t died of throat cancer when I was fifteen, I probably would puff away, too. Only watching him get so sick and have a hole cut in his neck didn’t really make the idea of inhaling anything that could cause that much damage seem so appealing anymore.
I drink like a fish. My liver will have enough problems later, no need to fuck up the rest of me.
It doesn’t take long before DJ is out after giving Kenderly one of those kisses that seriously makes you either want to puke or tape the shit for a porn.
He climbs on his Harley, cranks it, and we ride. He doesn’t ask me anything, and I’m thankful for the reprieve.
Andrea Davies has been home five months. In this time, I’ve driven by her house more times than what can be considered natural. I’m borderline stalking the chick. I don’t know why I’m pulled to her. She made it clear I was beneath her, then and now.
Typical.
I’m the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. The trailer park trouble maker from Granville. Born to a teen mom, raised by grandparents older than dirt, no one expected a damn thing from me. Yet, DJ and I both managed to graduate high school. We both landed ourselves two girls, at the time, who got good grades and had their shit together.
Then Drea left to chase big dreams and live in the big league. I didn’t fit in her picture.
Grams died within a year of Gramps. If DJ hadn’t been clear headed enough for the both of us, I would’ve landed in foster care or a juvenile facility. His piece of shit mom signed the papers to keep me without reading them. I stayed in the trailer left to me by my grandparents. From there, DJ and I made a pact that we had to graduate. Thumper caught us trying to steal a bottle of booze. He set us straight and gave us something to achieve and focus on. After that, we found ourselves with decisions to make on our future. Take our place with the Rebels that Thumper was offering or go our own way. The same time, Lurch worked his way into our lives with Gloria, his ol’ lady. The man was intimidating, yet approachable. Rough, yet fatherly. DJ and I had an opportunity with the Rebels, so we took it. With Thumper’s guidance and Lurch being a surrogate father figure, we did our time and earned our cuts, patches, and road names.
Ain’t a single moment either of us have looked back and regretted any of it.
Yup, Andrea Davies went off to see the world. It landed her on her ass right back here where she never wanted to be. Me, I’ve made it out of the trailer park and landed firmly on my feet with a family that takes me as I am.
No shame in me, in them, or anything Rebels.
Can Drea say that for herself?
She’s in there working and here I am driving by. Well, not technically because I have somewhere to be and this is the shortest route. The fact that I can’t get the woman out of my head is unnerving. It’s only ever been Drea, and I’m nothing to her.
Driving passed the paper and the sandwich shop, I take a right on Dwyer Road. Several feet in front of me, on the right hand side of the road, is someone curled into a ball on the ground. It takes me two minutes of seeing her beautiful mahogany hair to know exactly who it is.
My bike roars right up to Drea, her head popping up, tears falling from her face and panic all over her wide eyes. I drop the kickstand and turn my beast off. Walking up slowly, Drea pushes against the brick wall she’s against, like she’s scared of me, but I know she’s not. Something happened to her, and my protective instincts kick in full force.
“Drea, what’s going on?” I ask kneeling down beside Drea, her eyes blinking rapidly as if she were coming out of something or somewhere. This goes on for quite some time, and she says nothing. I plop next to her on the concrete within touching distance, but far enough away that she doesn’t feel the need to hold up the wall.
When she doesn’t talk, I prompt, “Drea, tell me what’s goin’ on.”
“My purse,” she says the words in a whisper, and there’s a shiver in her voice. I look around for the purse and see nothing.
“What about the purse?”
Her eyes come to me. “He just took it. Shoved me down and ripped the straps away from me. He took all the money I have for groceries and the water bill this month.” Tears flow down her eyes, but she gives no other reaction except for shock. Gotta admit, it’s kinda freaky.
“Who was it?”
“I don’t know.” Her eyes are void and yet the tears still stream down. Now, she’s starting to scare the shit out of me.
“Drea.” My tone is a little more firm as I scoot closer to her. Her eyes come to me, but nothing. “Drea, need you to focus.”
She blinks repeatedly again. “Austin?”
“Yeah, Kitten.” It’s as if a fog clears from her, and her face creases in confusion.
She looks around. “What….” She takes a sharp breath in, her hand coming to her heart. “The guy, he took my purse.”
“I gathered that already. Mind tellin’ me where you went just now?”
Drea lets out a long breath. “My injuries. They kinda mess me up sometimes but haven’t for a bit. When the guy pushed me down, it triggered something. My doc says it’s liable to happen and warned me. I think that’s where I went.”
Damn, what happened to Drea? Being a small town, word gets around fast. But her momma must not be talking or I would’ve heard. Whatever it was, I don’t like it.
“Are you hurt?”
She gives a soft laugh. “In more ways than you know.”
I look over her body paying special attention to her knees and elbows. Nothing. Her face is clear, too. “Where?”
Drea moves to her knees and about falls over. I grab her, take her weight and lift her. “I’m takin’ you to the doc.” It takes her a beat, but she gathers herself.
“No, I need to talk to the police and try to get my purse back.”
“Hate to say it, but pretty sure anything you had in there is gone, Kitten.”
She jolts at my words. “Don’t call me that.” When we were together, I called her my kitten because of the way she’d curl up in my arms while we watched movies on the couch. She’d even purr when I rubbed her back. A full out kitten.
“Me and the boys will handle your purse. What was in it?”
“My wallet, ID, credit cards and about three hundred dollars,” she groans at the money. “And what do you mean you and your boys’ll handle it?”
“Ruthless Rebels, Drea.” If she’d had stuck around, she would have known all about them.
“So you’re in a gang?”
My eyes narrow. “We’re a fuckin’ club, Drea. Get your shit straight.”
She holds up her hands. “Sorry. I know that I just…I’m not thinking clearly.” Her weight sags into me as her forehead comes to rest on my chest. Having her this close, to where I can touch her, smell her, and if I bend down, taste her, is killing me. That scar in my heart left by her begins to bleed, and I can’t fucking stop it.
“Doctor. Gotta make a call,” I explain. As much as I don’t want to stop touching her, I pull out my phone and call Skinny.
“Yeah?”
“I’m on Dywer by the barber shop. Need you to bring a car and call Bones. He needs to come check Drea out.” Drea’s body stills.
“Be there in ten.” He disconnects.
Drea’s head lifts. “There’s nothing new, Austin. I’m not going to a doctor named Bones for Christ’s sakes, especially when experts at Shepard’s Center had no cure.”
“Cure for what, Drea? Are you sick?” Everyone has mentioned her accident. Kenderly knows, but I haven’t asked questions. Maybe I should have. Hell, I even cut Kenderly off when she tried to talk to me about it the other day. Stupid.
Drea pulls out of my arms, and I hate it instantly. “No, Austin. I’m not sick. I have an injury, and that’s all you need to know.”
I hate that she’s closing down on me and shutting me out. Hate that I don’t know what happened to her, and I’m going to damn sure find out everything.
“Just let Bones check you out. Then you can give us a description, and we can find the guy who took your purse.”
She chuckles, “Like it matters. Remember you just said, it’s probably all gone.” She sighs. “Only my luck. I really think I should just report this to the police, Austin. Let them deal with it.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Believe me, Kitten. I’ll find him.” I feel the anxiety rising that I was late driving by. If I were a little sooner, she wouldn’t have been mugged.
Rocks crackle behind me, and I turn to see Skinny driving up. I look to Drea hoping she’s not going to fight me on this.
Chapter 5
I have a headache, heartache, and a hard time getting myself together!
My head pounds, everything spins around me. I can’t focus. Kenderly told me DJ and Austin were out of town for the last week for the Rebels. I didn’t think he was around. Here he is, though, and with one call he has some guy pulling up with a car.
He tries to guide me to the car. Holding up a hand, I stop him. “Austin, I’m not some damsel in distress. I’ll call the police from the office and get things sorted. I need to call my mom.”
My head thumps loudly in my ears, and the sounds of water rushing assaults my mind making it harder to focus. This is all typical of my injury, and I hate it. I blow out a deep breath trying to ease the tension that is climbing higher and higher throughout my body. The guy must have jarred something to make it this bad.
Frustration continues to ball up inside me.
“Kitten, I gave my word I’ll get him. I mean it, but I gotta get you checked.”
Kitten, the simple name he called me from our first date on. Austin was always the best cuddler. Maybe it was his upbringing and losing his family, maybe it was a teenage boy’s ploy to get in my pants, but I remember always finding comfort curled up next to him.
I fight to shake off all the old feelings.
“Austin, I’m fine.” I barely get the words out as I feel vertigo take over. Austin’s grip on me tightens, and before I can say anything else, I’m being scooped up bridal style and placed in the back of the sedan. Austin climbs in beside me wrapping his arm around my shoulders and holding my body close to him.
Inhaling, I can smell the leather of his vest, his deodorant, and him. My body craves the comfort from Austin that I’ve only found with him while my mind screams stay away.
Before I can stop myself, I’m leaning into him rather than protesting going with him. I need to clear my head, not cloud my judgment with all things Austin Fletcher! It’s just not happening in this moment. My head still spins, and I suck in his comfort.
We pull up to the gate where the Ruthless Rebels clubhouse has been for as long as I can remember. The gate opens with a wave from the man driving.
“Pull to the front, Skinny,” Austin tells him. “I’ll have Drea in my room when Bones arrives.”
“Got it, brother,” Skinny says, turning to look at us from the backseat, and I have to do a double take.
From the first angle, I couldn’t see the damage to his face. But head on, the man is marred with bubbled scars on his face. I force myself to look away, my hand going to my own scar instinctively.
I’ve seen so much, and he’s definitely not the worst. It was just so unexpected. The investigator in me wants to know his story. The heartbroken teen from my past simply wants me to run far from here. Forget the purse, the money, the cards, and get away from Austin as fast as I can.
Almost tenderly, Austin reaches out to help me from the car. The boy I once knew is now a man in front of me with tattoos peeking out on his neck from under his shirt. Long gone are the simple eyes of passion, and in their place is something darker, meaner, and yet, as he looks at me, is that actual longing I see.
No, it can’t be.
What’s done is done, and as the saying goes, it can’t be undone. I climb out of the car on shaky legs to stand beside him. Austin has always been taller than me. Now though, he’s like a tower shading me, shielding me.
I hear a noise behind him and look to see some woman wearing cut-off shorts that are so short I swear I have period panties that cover more. Her tank top barely covers her as she leans against the outside of the building, watching Austin and I. The scrutiny makes me uncomfortable.
“Austin, I need to call my mom. I’ll be fine, just let her come get me. I can file a report with the police.”
I feel the panic at being alone with Austin rising, making me want to ramble more. I open my mouth to speak, but I’m stopped when his lips hit mine. Austin’s tongue invades my mouth like a ship storming Normandy.
Stunned.
Shocked.
I find myself kissing him back. For a moment, I get lost in the sensation. I can remember the time when he kissed me just like this. An onslaught of emotions from the past rush through me. Love, passion, desperation.
Scorned.
I pull away abruptly, hating it, but having too much respect for myself not to.
“Needed you focused on me, not Peaches,” Austin says while watching me with a wide-eyed expression.
I raise an eyebrow in question, he turns his head to the scantily clad woman.
“Nothing for you to be worried about with me, Kitten. We’re gonna walk in there, go to my room, and Bones is gonna sort you out. While you’re here, with me, no one will bother you. Especially not a trick.”
I want to ask him what a trick is. I want to ask why he can’t j
ust let me call my mom. I want to ask anything, but no words come out. Instead, it’s as if I see two of the buildings in front of me before the tornado seems to spin in my mind causing me to fall against Austin who catches me easily.
Without giving me a moment to think, straighten up, or even explain, Austin scoops me up and carries me inside the building. The movement makes my stomach churn, threatening to spill the contents of my stomach. I lean into him and close my eyes, wishing my mind and body to settle.
Laying me gently on a bed, I keep my eyes closed tight as I listen to Austin scurry around.
“Wasn’t expecting guests, sorry for the mess, Kitten.”
“I’ll be gone as soon as you call my mom, Austin.”
“The hell you will. Bones is gonna check you out then I’ll call your mom. We don’t know who took your shit, Kitten. No way you and Ms. Patty are gonna be alone until we know they won’t come to your house.”
Oh my, I didn’t even think of that. I try to raise up from my position only to have my head feel like a thousand knives are stabbing me at the same time, immediately sending me back to lay flat on the bed with a groan.
A sound comes from the door. I peek my eyes open as a short man with a beer belly and a leather vest comes in. His hair is silver, and his face shows signs of too much frowning and sun. With a plop, he drops a bag on the bed beside me. Opening it, he pulls out a stethoscope and light.
“I’m Bones. ‘Fore I retired, I had a family care clinic. Certified and shit, so sit back, let’s sort you out, honey.”
“Um, I don’t think you can.”
He studies me. “You pregnant?” He looks to Austin. “Shamus, I can do a lot of shit, but babies ain’t my thing.”
“No, no, no!” I shriek, trying to correct the man’s assumption. “Austin and I, oh no.”