“He was right. I do value our friendship.”
Continuing as if he hadn’t heard her, Wade said, “But I never viewed the arrangement purely as a business deal. You see, my dear, I have loved you for years. All the parties, the dancing and laughter, it all was real to me. I never would have agreed to marry a woman I didn’t love, so saying yes to your father’s plan didn’t require any thought, not on my part, anyhow.”
“I had no idea. Why, I thought—”
“You thought you were a business acquisition, not a life partner.”
“Exactly.”
Wade studied her face for a quiet moment, then asked, “And now that you know, does it change your feelings at all?”
She wanted to spare him, but she was done running from the truth.
“I’m sorry, Wade, but it doesn’t. I am grateful for your friendship, but I don’t love you. Not in…well, not in that way.”
He considered the words. If there was any disappointment at the admission, he hid it well.
Finally he bent close, so close their noses touched, and said softly, “Indulge me…”
The kiss was brief, but tender.
When he pulled back, Wade kept his face near hers and stared hard into Kristen’s eyes. She saw sorrow in his, and was sorry to be the cause of it.
“I will tell your father that we have, by mutual agreement, decided not to marry. I hope you don’t mind if I tell him we will remain friends.” He gave a hopeful smile.
Kristen nodded, feeling finally free for the first time in months.
“That’s settled, then.” Wade stepped away, put his hat on his head and walked to the steps leading down to the road. Halfway down, he paused and turned to face her. “Will you return to Boston? We all miss you there, and since we’re not getting married there’s no reason for you to continue running, is there? You don’t have to decide now. Just think about coming back, won’t you?”
While she wanted to throw her arms wide and proclaim her freedom to the blue sky above, it wouldn’t be reasonable to make Wade feel bad about how things between them turned out. He was already being more than civil, and taking the unrequited love in stride, so she squelched her enthusiasm and just smiled.
“I’ll think about it.”
She watched Wade walk away without feeling regret over what she had turned away. He was a good man, but he wasn’t the man for her. She knew it in her heart, and now that she and Wade had settled their affairs Kristen felt free to follow that stubborn heart of hers.
She stared thoughtfully into the distance as her pulse slowed to a normal rate.
Patrick, astride a pretty Appaloosa, interrupted her thoughts. He dismounted, secured the reins to the hitching post, and then took the front steps two at a time.
He tipped his hat. “Good morning, Kristen. Nice day we’re having, isn’t it?”
“Just gorgeous. Julia’s in the front parlor waiting for you. Just go on in.”
Patrick opened the front door, holding it wide so she could enter before him. When she didn’t move, he asked, “Coming inside? Or do you plan to go somewhere?”
An idea had been taking root in her mind since Wade’s departure.
Why not?
“I believe I’m going to take a stroll. By the way, did you by any chance see Jack Sterling on your way down Main Street? Do you have any idea where he might be?”
Patrick grimaced, then stared sympathetically into her eyes. “I did. And I do.” He paused, and then said, “I spoke with him, even. He, ah, he said good-bye, Kristen.”
“Good-bye?”
“That’s right. He’s headed back to Kansas. I just saw him ride that big black horse of his out on the road at the far end of town.”
Panic tore through her. Wasn’t it just her luck that when she was finally able to love fully, the man she desired most would hightail it out of town?
“Your horse—Patrick, may I borrow your horse?”
Kristen hurried down the steps, grabbed the horse’s reins and leapt onto its back. Riding had been one of her favorite lessons at school, and she had several blue ribbons back in Boston to prove her skill as a horsewoman. While she preferred to ride side saddle, she was no stranger to sitting astride a horse. One summer of training—much to her mother’s dismay—for an equestrian jumping competition had given her enough skill to sit almost any horse, in any manner.
She didn’t wait for Patrick’s reply. Instead, she turned the animal in a tight circle, pointed her in the right direction and dug her heels into the horse’s flanks. They took off down Main Street in a cloud of dust.
The irony of her situation wasn’t lost as she rode flat out down the road into the wilderness. Not so long ago she had ridden this same road, a runaway bride-to-be determined to find a new life for herself. Now she rode in the opposite direction, a woman with a life to call her own but no one to share it with.
If I didn’t have bad luck with men, I’d have no luck at all. Oh, Aunt Irene, why didn’t I see this coming? You always said I could “see” things, but this mess has certainly taken me by surprise!
The horse wasn’t bred for running but it had heart. They were only about a mile or so out of town, but already the animal’s breathing was labored. As much as she wanted to catch up to Jack , she couldn’t do so at the horse’s expense. She pulled back on the reins, slowing the horse to a gentle canter.
Disappointment combined with irritation tore a wail from her throat. Tears welled in her eyes but she was far too wound up to let them fall. There would be time to cry later on, time to catalogue her regrets and chastise herself for being too stubborn to see the truth.
She loved him. Pure, simple and as plain as the nose on her face.
As if sensing her frustration, the Appaloosa sped up slightly. Kristen realized the futility of her search. Jack could be anywhere by now. Trailing after him on a plow horse, without any supplies or a weapon to protect herself, was downright stupid. Every step further from town took her closer to losing her life to a band of Indians or any of the gangs of unscrupulous outlaws roaming the territory.
The spot where the stagecoach had been held up lay just beyond a bend in the track ahead. She would ride that far, and then turn the horse around.
I won’t give up. I’ll just go back and equip myself properly for the journey to Kansas.
It made sense, even though the thought of letting Jack put another mile between them tore a hole in her aching heart.
She pulled the reins tight and slowed the horse to a walk. It resisted at first, trying to keep the pace, but Kristen held firm.
Her mind raced as she considered, then discarded, plans. Perhaps journeying by stagecoach would be the safest and most economical way to go, but it would also take the longest and Kristen didn’t want to waste a minute. She could either ride or go by coach to a railway station. It would be a faster trip but there was no guarantee that a train might go anywhere near Carroll’s Junction, Kansas. What to do?
They rounded the bend in the trail, the horse finally having settled into its slower pace and Kristen’s mind fully engaged on what lay ahead—figuratively. Had she been looking at what literally lay before her, she would have seen him before he spotted her.
The nickering sound of another horse caught her attention.
Kristen raised her head. She pulled so hard on the reins that the horse reared up onto its hind hooves before it came to a standstill.
Jack?
Or a mirage?
She stared hard, wondering if she might have lost her mind as well as her heart.
Then, she jumped down from the saddle and ran across the uneven ground toward him. She tripped over her skirt, and the rocks bit into the soft leather soles of her boots but she didn’t care. It was Jack—and he was within touching distance!
Jack swung a leg over the pommel, and then dropped to the ground in one smooth, graceful movement. He moved so quickly he beat her to the center of the clearing.
With a low growl, he scooped he
r off her feet and hugged her tight against his chest. Kristen felt the warmth of his body. She inhaled the wonderfully masculine scent of him. Her fingers found their way into the silky curls at the nape of his neck.
She could have spent forever in his arms, but Jack abruptly put her down and held her at arm’s length. Then, he dropped his arms to his sides and glared at her.
Startled by his reaction, Kristen stood and stared into his eyes. So many emotions danced behind the deep brown orbs she couldn’t begin to identify them individually. For the first time since she had hopped onto Patrick’s horse, she wondered whether she and Jack could straighten their mess out.
“Jack?” His name became a question as it fell from her tongue.
Jack smirked, something she hadn’t seen him do before now. The expression made him sinfully handsome but it was, nonetheless, unsettling.
“Kristen?”
His intentional mimic unhinged her further. She realized he was more upset than she imagined…
She didn’t have to wait long to find out why Jack stared at her with such conflicted emotions etched into his face.
“Don’t you have somewhere else you should be right about now? Isn’t there some poor fool just waiting for you to kiss him?”
So that was it. He had seen Wade, and witnessed their kiss.
Kristen rushed to explain. There had been too many secrets between them in the past. Now it was time to clear the air for the last time.
“No, as a matter of fact, there isn’t.” She lifted her chin, ready to prove herself worthy of his trust. “You saw me on Mrs. King’s porch a little while ago?”
Jack grit his teeth so tightly she feared he might crack them. He gave a sharp nod in response.
“I thought that might be it.” Kristen reached out to touch his arm, but Jack sidestepped her. The movement hurt, but she refused to be deterred. “I can explain. I know how it looks, but—”
He gave a small snort of disgust. “You can’t imagine how it looks. First you lure Patrick into thinking he’s in love with you before you drop him like a hot potato. Then you keep company with me—did you forget you kissed me only yesterday evening? Good God, woman, it was only a few hours ago that you were in my arms! Then this morning I see you, out in plain sight, no less, on the boardinghouse porch kissing some stranger. They defy explanation, these escapades of yours!”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she insisted.
His face had gone hard at the telling of her “escapades”.
“There is an explanation, for all of it. If you’ll only listen to me, Jack, I can tell you the truth about everything.”
He gave her a cold stare. “Well, wouldn’t that be a novel idea? I tried more than once to get the truth from you, yet you kept avoiding it. I’d just about decided I didn’t care what you were hiding when I caught you kissing that eastern dandy. Just tell me one thing… Is that man your husband? Are you married to him?”
“No!” Her hand flew to her chest, covered her galloping heart. “Wade’s not my husband—and I’m not married to anyone, Jack. I’ve never been married, believe me.”
“Who is he, then?”
She swallowed around the lump in her throat. Time to tell the truth—and pray the truth would set her free.
“He is—he was—my fiancé.”
Jack considered her words. His features softened slightly, and her hopes lifted. She had never imagined one small, insignificant kiss could make him so jealous. If he only knew how little she felt when Wade held her.
If Jack only knew how her heart overflowed when she was in his arms…
“‘Was’? I take it you two are no longer engaged?”
“That’s right. We’ve broken off our engagement. That’s what you witnessed on the porch.”
Jack smirked again, but this time he looked almost amused. Almost.
They could have no future unless Kristen cleared the slate, and she knew it.
She didn’t stop to think. She just plunged into her story.
“You keep asking where I’m from, Jack, and I just evade the issue. Well, I’m from Boston, and I escaped my situation the only way I could. I ran away from Wade, and my family, and the ridiculous marriage my father tried to force me into entering. I thought…oh, it doesn’t matter what I thought, not now. What matters is the ‘why’ of things, you know?”
She looked to him for confirmation. When he nodded, she went on.
Ticking items off with her fingers, she said, “Why did my father encourage me to marry Wade? Because he knows Wade Gantry is a good, kind man. He believed I would eventually grow to love him. He meant well, but I couldn’t abide his decision to decide my future.”
She raised a second finger. “Why did Wade agree to marry me? That sweet man, he says he loves me. I believe he does, on some level at least, but one-sided love isn’t foundation enough to build a marriage. Truthfully, I think Wade loves me more as a friend and dance partner than anything else. Once he’s free of the engagement, he’ll find someone who deserves his heart.”
Kristen took a steadying breath before she raised another finger.
“Why did I become a runaway bride? Because I don’t love Wade Gantry. Never have. Never will. And I believe marriage should be entered into with open, loving hearts—two of them. Mine? Wade didn’t claim it.”
She stopped speaking, suddenly out of words. They stood in the clearing for a silent moment as the reality of her confession sank in.
Then, it struck her that they stood on almost the precise spot where they had met. She flashed a small smile, feeling exposed and vulnerable but still hoping to smooth things over with Jack.
“Do you realize we met on this very same spot? It was right here that the stage was held up, remember?”
Jack removed his hat and plowed his fingers through his thick, dark curls. A lock fell over his forehead. Her fingers itched to push it back in place but she resisted the impulse.
True to character, he slapped the dusty Stetson against his muscular thigh before he positioned it back on his head.
“I remember,” he said quietly.
“Pretty amazing that you just happened along at the exact moment we needed help, wasn’t it?”
Jack didn’t look pleased by the turn in the conversation. She had meant to find common ground, share a pleasant memory, but his grimace of displeasure returned. Kristen couldn’t figure out why he looked like a storm cloud ready to burst.
“Listen, you’re not the only one who’s got some confessions to make.” He swallowed hard, raked a palm over his cheek and adjusted his hat brim. She waited for him to go on. “I didn’t ‘just happen along’ the day the stage was held up.”
“No?”
“No. I planned to rob the coach that day, that’s why I ‘happened’ along. My scheme was to stop it here, take what I was after, then leave. Of course, I hadn’t planned on hurting anyone…merely stealing something. But then I found the coach was already being robbed, and you and the preacher were holed up in the middle of the shootout. What could I do?” He shrugged helplessly, as if the episode required no further explanation.
If the world had tipped sideways, Kristen wouldn’t have felt more discombobulated than she did by Jack’s admission. She shook her head in disbelief, wondering how she could have been so wrong about him. Was it possible she had no sense at all when it came to matters of the heart?
Her voice came out as a strangled whisper. “You…you’re a stagecoach thief?”
She took a step back, putting distance between them. Still, she felt the weight of his confession pinning her heart down. The sensation was stifling, and she gasped for air.
“No. Of course not.” Jack took a step closer, holding his hand out to her. This time, however, she avoided his touch. “How could you think that of me? Brown—Randall Brown—his assistant stole the deed to my grandmother’s property. It was on the coach, in the strongbox. I only meant to swipe what was rightfully mine. It was stupid, I know, but I was angry.
When I left Kansas, it was because Granny was heartbroken over the theft. I had to do whatever it took to make her happy again. Don’t you understand?”
His eyes confirmed his words. They were clear and honest, and she believed him. When it came right down to it, Kristen was impressed that he’d taken such drastic measures to please an elderly woman. The world righted itself again. She breathed a sigh of relief.
Jack isn’t a thief!
“I do.” Then, she giggled. “So you’re telling me you’re a robber-turned-rescuer? Is that it?”
“I guess it is.” He smiled, lightening the mood considerably.
Time for the plunge.
“Now what, Jack? Where do we go from here?”
He shook his head. “I thought I knew…”
Kristen’s heart fell to her toes. She hadn’t expected this, hadn’t planned on what to do or say if he rebuffed her.
Jack gazed into her eyes for so long and so hard she thought he might never break the connection. When he spoke, his voice was filled with acceptance, and her heart lifted a little at the sound.
“When we met, I thought I couldn’t afford to lose my heart to you. I figured since you’re here and I’m going back to Kansas, ours had to be a platonic relationship.”
She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he stilled her with a hand on her shoulder. He gave a gentle squeeze, so she let him continue.
“Then when I began to have feelings for you, I thought you were involved with Patrick. It ruffled my feathers, I’ll admit, but I had to respect his claim on your affections so I stood back and watched your involvement. Remember, I knew I’d be heading back to Kansas before long.”
Her mouth opened again, but Jack rubbed his palm along the top of her right shoulder so she stilled and enjoyed the sensation his touch brought.
“Then, when you and Patrick parted ways, I thought I might have a chance with you. I knew I shouldn’t court you because of the Kansas thing, but by God you are irresistible. You drove me to distraction, and I couldn’t help but want to be near you. Yesterday, by the creek…”
Sterling's Way (Lawmen & Outlaws) Page 13