Pour over the Guinness and cook, stirring to scrape the remains from the bottom. Add the stock and the thyme and allow to simmer slowly for 2 or 3 hours. Remove the lid and the thyme stalks and cook for a further 30 minutes or so until the liquid has reduced by about half.
Serve with mashed potatoes.
MUSSELS IN GUINNESS
1 kg / 2 ¼ lbs. fresh mussels still in their shells
2 shallots, diced
Knob of butter
295 mL / 10 fluid oz. Guinness
235 mL / 8 fluid oz. fish stock
1 bay leaf
A good splash of heavy cream
1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill or parsley
Lemon wedges
First clean the mussels and, using a sharp knife, remove the beards. (That’s the little tufty bit on the shell.) Fry the shallots in the butter until just soft. Pour in the Guinness and stock, add the bay leaf, and simmer until reduced by half. Add the cream and reduce the liquid a little more before adding the mussels. Cover with a lid and cook for 2 or 3 minutes, by which time the shells should have opened. Discard any that have not.
Sprinkle with the chopped dill or parsley and serve in bowls with a wedge of lemon and my Irish wheaten bread on the side.
I like to serve this with a soup spoon on the side, as the cooking liquor is a delicious broth and it would be a shame to waste it, so.
You can of course make this in the more traditional French way by substituting a dry white wine for the Guinness, adding a clove of garlic and a tied bunch of thyme.
IRISH WHEATEN BREAD
THIS IS ALSO KNOWN AS IRISH SODA BREAD OR BROWN BREAD.
Makes 2 loaves
284 g / 10 oz. whole-wheat flour
284 g /10 oz. all-purpose or bread-making flour
170 g / 6 oz. old-fashioned, porridge-type rolled oats
56 g / 2 oz. sunflower or pumpkin seeds
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons butter or sunflower or canola oil
1 tablespoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar (you can omit this if you cannot find it in the store)
1 litre / 34 oz. buttermilk (or slightly less)
2 tablespoons molasses (optional)
Preheat the oven to 400°F / 200°C. Grease two 9-x-5-inch (23-x-12-cm) loaf tins well, line them with parchment paper, and grease the parchment.
Mix the flour, oats, seeds, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. Rub the butter in with your fingertips. (If you are using oil, add it later, with the buttermilk.) Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients.
In a separate jug, dissolve the bicarbonate of soda and cream of tartar in about half of the buttermilk and add the oil and the molasses if using. This will froth up, so pour it into the flour mixture quickly. Then add the remaining milk gradually because sometimes you may need to add more or less depending on the brand of flour used or even the weather conditions. Stir well. What you are aiming for is a nice, soft dropping consistency.
Divide the mixture between the loaf tins. Make an indent down the centre of the dough with the blade of a knife. Bake for 15 minutes then turn down heat to 350°F / 180°C and bake for a further 35 to 45 minutes. The bread will sound hollow when the bottom is knocked. Turn the bread out onto a wire rack to cool and cover with a damp tea towel.
You can make variations by adding or substituting various ingredients. I sometimes add more whole-wheat flour than all-purpose flour, or different seeds. Adding molasses or treacle gives a rich brown colour. I even add crushed garlic if I’m planning to use the bread as an accompaniment with soup or a savory starter.
NOTE ABOUT FLOUR: Different brands of flour will require different amounts of liquid and it is not therefore possible to give exact measurements of liquid for any recipe. Particularly for bread. You will find the right consistency with practice. Indeed, my mother rarely weighed the flour when she was making bread, she just added handfuls until it felt right.
CREAMY CHICKEN SOUP
Serves 4
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon oil
1 medium, boneless chicken breast, diced, skin removed
1 large onion, chopped
1 large potato, peeled and chopped
590 mL / 20 oz. chicken stock (you can use stock cubes)
295 ml / 10 oz. milk
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Heavy cream
Finely chopped fresh parsley
Melt the butter with the oil in a large saucepan and sauté the pieces of chicken, turning frequently to lightly brown them on all sides. Remove the chicken from the pan and set aside. Now add the onion and potato to the pan and stir gently over a very low heat to prevent sticking. Cover with a piece of parchment paper and the pan lid. Continue to sweat gently for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the onion is translucent and the potato has softened. Discard the parchment.
Return the chicken to the pan, add the stock, and bring back to the boil. Continue to simmer gently for about 30 minutes. Allow to cool slightly, add the milk, and season with salt and pepper. Liquidise the soup using an immersion blender or food processor. Serve with a little swirl of cream and some parsley.
Covering the vegetables with greaseproof paper and cooking very gently creates steam and is called “sweating.” This enables the maximum amount of moisture and flavour to be extracted.
KIPPER PTÉ
4 kippers (fresh or “boil in the bag”)
Knob of butter
200 g / 7 oz. cream cheese
Juice of 2 or 3 lemons (depending on size)
1 tablespoon creamed horseradish
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon heavy cream, Greek yoghurt, or crème fraiche
2 tablespoons chopped chives or dill
If using fresh kippers, grill with a knob of butter under the broiler, gently until the skin comes away from the bones. Now remove the skin and bones and chop coarsely. If using “boil in the bag” kippers, cook per instructions, then remove skins and bones and chop coarsely.
Place the kippers, cream cheese, lemon juice, and horseradish in a blender and pulse until well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste, add cream and chives or dill, and pulse for a few seconds more.
MRS. MAUREEN “KINKY” AUCHINLECK.
Part-time Housekeeper to Doctor Fingal O’Reilly
One, Main Street
Ballybucklebo
County Down
Northern Ireland
GLOSSARY
I have in all the previous Irish Country novels provided a glossary to help the reader who is unfamiliar with the vagaries of the Queen’s English as it may be spoken by the majority of people in Ulster. This is a regional dialect akin to English as spoken in Yorkshire or on Tyneside. It is not Ulster-Scots, which is claimed to be a distinct language in its own right. I confess I am not a speaker.
Today in Ulster (but not 1969, when this book is set) official signs are written in English, Irish, and Ulster-Scots. The washroom sign would read Toilets, Leithris (Irish), and Cludgies (Ulster-Scots). I hope what follows here will enhance your enjoyment of the work, although, I am afraid, it will not improve your command of Ulster-Scots.
abdabs, screaming: Diarrhoea and vomiting, severe D and V.
acting the lig/maggot/goat: Behaving like an idiot.
ails: Afflicts.
aluminium: Aluminum.
anorak: Parka.
anyroad: Anyway.
a stór: Irish. My dear.
at himself/not at himself: He’s feeling well/not feeling well.
away off (and feel your head/bumps/and chase yourself): Don’t be stupid.
away on (out of that): I don’t believe you.
bairn: From Scots. Child.
barmbrack: Speckled bread. (See An Irish Country Cookbook.)
beat Bannagher: Wildly exceed expectations.
bejizzis/by jasus: By Jesus. In Ireland, d
espite the commandment proscribing taking the name of the Lord in vain, mild blasphemy frequently involves doing just that. See also Jasus Murphy, Jesus Mary and Joseph.
bhodran: Irish. Pronounced “bowron.” Circular hand-held drum.
bide a wee/where you’re at: Wait for a while/stay where you are.
Billy-oh: Going very hard at something.
bite your head off: Verbally chastise.
bob (a few bob): One shilling. (A sum of money.)
boke: Vomit.
bollix/bollox: Testicles (impolite).
bollixed/bolloxed: Ruined. Wrecked.
bonnaught: Irish mercenary of the fourteenth century.
bonnet: Hood of a car.
bookie: Bookmaker.
boot: Trunk of a car.
bore: Of a shotgun. Gauge.
borrowed: Loaned.
both legs the same length: Standing around uselessly.
’bout ye?: How are you. See also how’s about ye?
bowler: Derby hat.
boys-a-dear or boys-a-boys: Expression of amazement.
brake: Abbreviation of “shooting brake.” English term for a vehicle that used to be called a woody in North America.
bravely: Very, large, or good/well.
breeks: Lowland Scot. Trousers.
brickie: Bricklayer.
brung: Brought.
casualty: Department of hospital. ER in USA and Canada. Now A&E (accident and emergency) in Ireland and UK.
céad míle fáilte: Irish. Pronounced “caid meeluh fawlchuh.” A hundred thousand welcomes.
céili: Pronounced “kaylee.” Party with dancing.
chemist: Pharmacist.
chippie: Nickname for carpenter.
chips: French fries.
chissler: Young child.
chuffed: Very pleased.
chuntered: Kept going on about.
clatter: Indeterminate number. See also wheen. The size of the number can be enhanced by adding brave or powerful as a precedent to either. As an exercise, try to imagine the numerical difference between a brave clatter and a powerful wheen of spuds.
cock-up: Severe foul-up.
colloguing: Chatting idly.
come on on (on) in: Is not a typographical error. This item of Ulsterspeak drives spellcheck mad.
cracker: Very good. Of a girl, very good-looking.
craic: Pronounced “crack.” Practically untranslatable, it can mean great conversation and fun (the craic was ninety) or “What has happened since I saw you last?” (What’s the craic?). Often seen outside pubs in Ireland: “Craic agus ceol,” meaning “fun and music.”
cup of tea/scald in your hand: An informal cup of tea, as opposed to tea that was synonymous with the main evening meal (dinner).
dab hand: Expert.
dead/dead on: Very/absolutely right or perfectly.
desperate: Immense, or terrible. “He has a desperate thirst.” “That’s desperate, so it is.”
Dictaphone: Recorder for taking dictation.
dodgems: Fun-fair ride also called bumper cars.
doh-re-mi: Tonic sol-fa scale, but meaning “dough” as in money.
donkey fringe: Bangs.
doolally: Crazy. Deolali was an army transit camp in India where men were said to go crazy, or doolally, from the heat and boredom.
dote/doting: Something (person or animal) adorable/being crazy about or simply being crazy (in one’s dotage).
drastic: Terrible.
dudeen: Short-stemmed clay pipe.
Dun Buidhe: Irish, pronounced “dun bwee.” The yellow hill fort.
duncher: Flat cloth cap.
dungarees: One-piece coveralls. Originally from the Hindi describing a coarse Indian calico used in their manufacture.
dust bin: Garbage can.
eejit/buck eejit: Idiot/complete idiot.
excuse me?: An irritated interruption with a not-so-hidden subtext of, “You are full of it.”
fag: Short for “faggot,” a thin sausage. Slang for “cigarette.”
feiseanna: Pronounced “fayshanna.” Festivals.
Fenians: Catholics (pejorative). See also Fianna.
ferocious: Extreme.
Fianna: A band of legendary soldiers. Their name survives today in Fianna Fáil (pronounced, “Fjanna Foil,” Soldiers of Destiny), one of the major Irish political parties.
fire engine: Fire truck.
Fomorian: One of the early races said to have inhabited Ireland.
foundered: Frozen.
fug/ged: Thick smoke/filled with thick smoke.
gaff: The foreman was also called a gaffer. To gaff is to act as the foreman.
gag: Joke or funny situation. Applied to a person, humorist.
gander: Look-see or male goose.
get shot of: Get rid of.
get stuck in: Usually of a meal. Eat heartily.
git: Corruption of “begotten.” Frequently with hoor’s (whore’s.) Derogatory term for an unpleasant person. Not a term of endearment.
goat (ould): Stupid person, but used as a term of affection.
go (a)way with you: Don’t be silly.
gone for a burton: WWII Royal Air Force slang. Dead or completely ruined. Common usage in Ulster postwar.
good head: Decent person.
good man-ma-da: Literally, “good man my father.” Good for you. A term of approval of someone’s actions.
goose-winged: Of sails. Called wing-on-wing in North Amrica.
grampus: Dolphin.
griping: Complaining.
gulder: To scream (v), scream (n).
gurning: Whingeing. Complaining.
hairy bear caterpillar: Woolly bugger caterpillar.
half-un (hot): Measure of whiskey. (With cloves, lemon juice, sugar, and boiling water added. Very good for the common cold. Trust me—I’m a doctor.)
ha’penny: Pronounced “hapenny.” Half a penny. Very small change.
having me on: Deceiving me (often in jest).
headstaggers (take a fit of the): A parasitic brain disease of sheep causing them to behave oddly and stagger and fall.
heart of corn: Very good-natured.
higheejin: Very important person, often only in the subject’s own mind.
hirstle: Wheeze.
hold your horses: Wait a minute.
hooley: Boisterous party.
hoor: Whore.
hot press: Warming cupboard with shelves over the hot water tank.
houseman: Medical or surgical intern. In the ’60s, used regardless of the sex of the young doctor.
how’s about ye?: How are you?
humdinger: Something exceptional, as in “She’s a wee humdinger.”
I’m your man: I agree and will follow where you lead.
in like Flynn: Everything’s turning out fine. (Originally having sexual undertones. The Flynn is reputedly the actor Errol Flynn, a noted roué.)
in the stable: Of a drink in a pub, paid for but not yet poured.
Irish names:
Aiofe: Pronounced “Eefa.” Beautiful, radiant, joyful.
Brendan: Pronounced as it is spelled. Prince.
Donnacha: Pronounced as it is spelled. Brown-haired warrior.
Fiona: Pronounced as it is spelled. Fair.
Mairead: Pronounced “Moray.” Margaret.
Seamus: Pronounced “Shame-us.” James.
Siobhán: Pronounced “Shivawn.” Joan.
jabs: Shooting pains.
jag: Prick or jab.
John Bull top hat: A top hat with a very low crown as depicted in cartoons of the British mascot, as the exaggerated top hat is worn by Uncle Sam. Popular headgear for ladies hunting, and Winston Churchill before World War I.
keek: Look.
kipper: A herring which has been split, gutted, rubbed with salt, and cured with smoke, preferably from oak shavings. Kippered: Physically destroyed.
knackered: Very tired. An allusion to a horse so worn out by work that it is destined for the knacker’s yar
d, where horses are destroyed.
Lamass: Christian religious festival on August 1, introduced to replace the pagan Lughnasadh.
Lambeg drum: Ulster. Massive bass drum carried on shoulder straps by Orangemen and beaten with two sticks (sometimes until the drummer’s wrists bleed).
learned: Can mean taught. “I learned him his ABCs.” Like “I borrowed her sugar,” meaning “I loaned her sugar.”
let the hare sit: Let sleeping dogs lie.
lift: Give a free ride to, or arrest.
like a house on fire: Moving ahead very rapidly.
liltie: Irish whirling dervish.
lorry: Truck.
lug(ged): Ear, kind of marine worm. (Carried awkwardly.)
Lughnasadh: Irish. Pronounced “loonasa.” Harvest festival celebrated on the Sunday closest to August 1 to honour one of the old gods, Lugh (“loo”) of the Long Hand.
lummox: Stupid, clumsy creature.
measurements: Although metrification was gradually being introduced in Ulster by the mid-’60s, most measurements were still imperial. Of those mentioned here one stone = fourteen pounds, 20 fluid ounces = one pint.
Meccano: Erector set.
melodeon: Button accordion.
messages: Errands.
Mick: Roman Catholic.
milk float: When milk was delivered door-to-door the milkman was provided with an electric vehicle to carry his wares.
mind: Remember.
moping: In low spirits.
more power to your wheel: Words of encouragement akin to “The very best of luck.”
my aunt Fanny Jane: Don’t be absurd.
nappies: Diapers.
National Trust: British charitable organisation that preserves sites of historical interest or of outstanding natural beauty.
no harm til you, but: “I do not mean to cause you any offence,” usually followed by, “but you are absolutely wrong,” or an insult.
no mission: Hopeless.
no spring chicken: Getting on in years.
not come down the Lagan on a soap bubble: To be well informed.
och: Exclamation to register whatever emotion you wish. “Och, isn’t she lovely?” “Och, he’s dead?” “Och, damn it.” Pronounced like clearing your throat.
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