by Lexi Blake
She couldn’t be the reason her daughter got kicked out. She couldn’t be the reason her son lost his home.
“Oh god, Aidan. What was I thinking?”
His arms tightened. “Baby, baby, I know what’s going on in that head of yours, but it’s wrong.”
“I can’t be the reason we fail.” Tears pierced through her.
“Baby, we’re not failing.”
“I can’t lose our home. I can’t get us kicked out. I can’t do it again.”
Aidan sighed, pulling her so close she could barely breathe. “Lexi, that’s not going to happen. We’re going to be fine. No one can throw us off our land. I won’t allow it. Your momma was all alone. She didn’t have anyone to help her. You can’t think it was your fault.”
“She got kicked out because of me. What if I do the same thing to Daphne? To baby Jack?”
Aidan forced her to turn around. “How do you feel about your mother? Are you angry with her?”
Lexi shook her head. “Of course not. She’s the strongest woman I know.”
“Why? Why is she so strong? And don’t bullshit me, because I can get her over here in a heartbeat.”
Lexi let her tears flow. “She’s strong because she loved me.”
Her mother hadn’t faltered. She’d been seventeen years old, barely out of high school, and pregnant and alone. She’d managed to pull herself up and put herself through school. She’d taken care of them both. She’d educated herself.
Because she’d loved Lexi.
“I can’t be as strong as my momma.”
“You don’t have to be.” Aidan kissed her brow. “Baby, she doesn’t have to be anymore, and I bet your mother would say she’s thrilled about that. You and I have been giving into our childhoods. You’re trying to be your momma and I’m trying to make up for everything my father didn’t give me. Lucas is the only one who’s fighting it.”
Because Lucas had been ignored. He’d been marginalized and he was standing up to the people he loved because he wouldn’t be that way again. He wouldn’t walk away because that man would never leave his children, but he would stand up for himself.
“I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to hide things from you. I was stupid, Aidan.”
“No. Like I said, you should have clocked her. I have plans for her. Maybe it’s time to unleash Lucas’s inner bastard and let him take that bitch down. Let Lucas be the man he wants to be.”
She smiled. “But he wants to be Jack.”
Her stepfather was known for being a man no one wanted to cross.
“Exactly. I’m not as smart as Lucas. I tend to fight my way through life when he can finesse it, and sometimes revenge requires finesse. I love you, Lexi. You’re not capable of finesse. You’re capable of tossing a bowl of punch over someone’s head. I’m capable of punching someone. Lucas is capable of taking apart someone’s life in such a way that no one even knows he did it.”
That summed up her dad. “I love you all so much. I don’t want to fail you.”
“Lexi, baby, you can’t fail us. We’re your family. The only way you fail is by walking away. Don’t walk away.” Her Master had tears in his eyes. He stared down at her like she was precious, and she was. When he looked at her like that, she knew she was loved. Only a few humans in the world ever looked at her like that. Her husbands. Her mother. Her children.
Her family.
She couldn’t fail them. Like her mother couldn’t fail her. She’d been righteously strong, and she’d gained that strength from loving her child. Even though she didn’t need to be strong now, her love for Jack and Sam made her that way.
The only way Lexi had failed was in not talking to her men. “I want to slow down.”
Aidan’s mouth curled up. “Oh, my darling, you will slow down. I’ve been seriously lacking as a Dom. You aren’t going to the conference in Denver. You’re coming home with your family.”
The whole idea of going to the Denver conference had made her tired. Luckily it hadn’t been publicized that she would be there. She could get out of it. It was time to stop. She said yes to everything and everyone, no matter what it cost her. She wanted to be home, cuddling with her babies. There would be time for conferences later when her men could be with her. “All right.”
Aidan was taking control. She wanted it. Needed it.
“I’m never going to tell you how to write or how much to write. The writing part is a piece of your soul, but the business part is different. I think Lucas should take control. You don’t like making all of these decisions. You mostly want to write. Tell me if I’m wrong.”
He wasn’t. “I’m not saying I won’t have ideas. I’m not a doormat, but at the end of the day, I want to write my stories. I want to be successful, but I would rather someone else handled the money part. I want to do the fun part.”
“And Lucas wants to help you. And I need you both to help me.” Aidan rubbed their cheeks together. “I need you to support me. I know you and Lucas are smarter, but the ranch is important.”
“We’re not smarter, merely different.” But the whole idea of helping him filled a void inside her.
“Well, I need you both. You and Lucas have so much experience that I don’t have. I’m done with this whole feeling like shit thing. I’m necessary in this marriage. I love this family. Maybe I didn’t bring as much money into it, but damn it, I’m valuable.”
He thought he wasn’t? Her heart softened. “Oh, babe, of course you are.”
His lips touched hers, a fire sparking across her flesh. He only needed to kiss her to make her go up in flames. His arms wound around her. He pulled her close. Everything in Lexi responded to him. This was what she needed.
“I haven’t been valuable lately.” He said the words against her lips. “But I will be. I can be what you need again. Eat that damn sandwich because you’re serving two Masters tonight.”
Her whole body clenched in anticipation.
She ate her food because she would need her strength.
* * * *
Aidan led Lexi to the playroom. The doors were open, but he stopped them outside. His heart softened as he saw Lucas sitting in the middle of the room, his gorgeous, lean body in a sitting position. Cobbler Pose. His feet were together, his hands behind his back.
When they had first gotten together, Lucas had wanted to join him in his daily yoga. Aidan needed it to feel flexible. His muscles tended to seize up after all the surgeries he’d required to fix the damage he’d taken in Iraq. So he and Lucas had gotten up with the dawn and moved through a series of yoga poses, starting with Sun Salutation and ending with Relaxation Pose.
He missed that. He would reinstate those mornings with his guy. Lexi and Lucas liked to sit together in the mornings and have their coffee. Aidan couldn’t stand the shit, but he could have his yoga time. And in the evenings he would shower with Lexi. She needed a shower before she could sleep. It could be their special time together.
They had to fight for it. Every day. Every hour.
They made the choice to be together.
All three of them. “We need to join Lucas. Are you strong enough, baby?”
“I am. I need to be with you.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ve missed you both so much.”
And he’d missed her. He and Lucas had been together, but not with the tenderness they had needed. They’d lived a half-life without her.
“Then come back to us. Come and complete us. We’ve been lost without you.” Aidan reached out, holding a hand to her. “We need you, baby. We don’t get what we need without you, but you have to decide to come with us. I won’t order you to do it.”
She was the true center of their world. He and Aidan could fuck however they wanted, but they needed her. Lucas had been miserable without his girl to top. Aidan couldn’t give him that.
Lexi sniffled. “You’re not mad at me?”
Oh, he was plenty mad, but he also realized that both his subs could be pissed at him, too. He wasn’t innoc
ent, not by any means. He’d wanted to save face with the people he loved and now he realized that “face” didn’t matter. Truth mattered. Love mattered.
He could be weak around his wife and Lucas. They would make him strong.
“How long is your mom watching the kids?”
Her lips curled up. “The whole night. We’ll get them back after the wedding.”
His cock twitched in his pants. “Perfect.”
“Of course, we’re taking Josh and Olivia the night before we leave.”
Usually the thought of being responsible for those two hooligans would make him want to run out and hide in the barn, but now all he could think about was the fact that they had all night. All night alone. There was time enough tomorrow to want to tear his own hair out. “Then I think we should play, baby.”
She took his hand and let him lead her up. “How rough are you going to get? I have a lot to make up for.”
Her breathy tone did amazing things to his cock. She had a little masochist buried inside her. It totally called to that tiny bit of sadist in him—and the one who lived in Lucas. She was their perfect mate.
“You do. I think you might have a rough night, baby.”
She shuddered softly, enough to let him know how much she wanted it. “All right.”
“But I was serious about you slowing down. You have to rest. You have to spend more time with us. I know you love your writing and I won’t come in the way of that, but the travel has to slow down. We need you at home. When you do need to go, we’ll go with you. This family stays together, do you understand?”
She placed her hands in his. “Yes, Aidan. We stay together. And you know I can handle whatever discipline you and Lucas mete out.”
His cock was pressing at the fly of his jeans. They had all night. Trev had texted him and offered him use of the playroom. No one expected anything from them until the next day at the wedding.
It had been forever since he’d taken hours to play with his subs. Lucas always wanted things to go fast. Lexi needed a long time to find her subspace. She luxuriated in the discipline, and she would need so much of it.
He led Lexi through the dungeon doors, closing them behind him.
Lucas sat in the middle of the room, his legs now in a perfect Padmasana or Lotus pose. His legs were locked together, ankle over ankle, his hips open, palms resting on his thighs. He’d taken off his shirt and switched to a pair of sweat pants, but Aidan meant to get him out of everything soon.
He’d given Lucas this. He’d taught him the same way Leo had taught Aidan. He’d given Lucas this place to go to find peace.
“He’s so gorgeous,” Lexi whispered, her eyes on his perfectly straight back.
“Yes, he is. And he’s ours.” Aidan didn’t whisper because he’d never met a human being who needed to belong more than Lucas O’Malley. “I won’t make him question that again.”
Lucas’s head twisted slightly, his green eyes opening and a soft smile playing on his face. “Yes, you will. Forever is a long time, Master. I suspect we’ll all fuck up again. But it will be all right as long as we find our way back to this place.”
Aidan knew he wasn’t talking about the physical space they were in but rather Lucas was talking about finding their way home. They could move. They could have more children. They could love the rest of their family, but they could never forget that their world had begun with these three people.
“I’ll always choose this place.” No matter how lost he became, Lucas and Lexi would always be his home.
Lucas smiled again, and then turned his attention to Lexi, his gaze becoming predatory. “Why is our sub wearing clothing in the playroom? I don’t think she really wants to make up for her bad behavior, Master.”
Yep, Lucas was hungry. He was going to have to share some power tonight. “Why don’t you help her fix that problem while I select a few toys to play with?”
He heard Lexi gasp as Lucas rolled his body up. Fuck, he was a gorgeous man and when he decided to top their sub, Aidan liked to watch. He stepped back, leaving Lexi to her second Master for the moment.
The McNamara playroom was a model of efficiency. Beth liked to build things, and she’d designed a whole wall to organize the toys. Like the rest of the room, it was discreet, and a person had to know what buttons to push to get to the good stuff. Bo had given him and Lucas a tour the first day, so Aidan knew the light switch to the side would do the trick. He flipped it up and the door slid open.
“That’s cool. Oh, my god. I have to see that.” Lexi was watching the doors slide away, revealing a wall of nasty fun.
“No,” Lucas said in his darkest Dom voice. “No research. You should have taken the tour with the rest of us, but you were on your phone. Maybe, if you’re a good girl, we’ll let you take notes before we leave, but for now you need to get out of those clothes and find your position.”
Lucas wasn’t playing around. And Aidan could see plainly that his bossy switch was getting to their girl. Her nipples stood out against the cotton of her shirt and there was a pretty pink flush to her skin.
Lucas sank his hand into her hair, dragging it out of the bun she’d fashioned. Black silk tumbled across her shoulders. “Did you eat what I made for you?”
She answered quickly, a sure sign she was ready to play. “I ate every bite.”
“Good.” He fisted her hair, gently drawing her face up to his. “You’re going to need the energy.”
His mouth came down on hers, and Aidan watched as his partner damn near inhaled their girl. So much longing and it was finally getting fulfilled. No matter what came next, he had to make sure they got what they needed.
He regretfully turned away and looked for a few of the items they would need. Bo and Trev kept several unopened selections for guests to use. He pulled out the lubricant and an extra-large plug. Yeah, he was going to have some fun. He winked at Lucas as he walked to the bathroom, opening the plug and sterilizing it.
It was a nice-sized monster. Lexi was used to anal, but it had been a while. And it would be fun to watch her eyes go wide as he sank the plug deep.
And then he’d sink his cock in.
He walked back out and Lucas had done his job. Lexi was naked and waiting in her slave pose. Her back was straight, her head submissively down, palms up on her thighs. Her knees were wide, leaving her perfectly shaved pussy on full display.
Lucas stood back, his eyes staring right at her pussy. “It’s been too long. I think I could stare at her for a while.”
“More, Alexis,” Aidan commanded. “You can get your knees wider.”
“Sorry. I lost a bunch of flexibility when I gave birth to your children and stuff.”
Aidan felt a thrill go through him at the sound of her sarcasm.
Lexi’s head came up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It was supposed to be one of those bratty things I only say in my head.”
Ah, but she’d opened that door. “Hands and knees, ass in the air. If you want to keep the spanking you’re about to get in your head next time, keep the brat locked up tight.”
She bit that gorgeous lower lip of hers as she looked at the plug in his hand. “Please tell me that’s for Lucas.”
“No, my lovely, it’s all for you. Lucas never gets out of practice.”
“Lucas didn’t have to carry our sweet babies,” Lexi pointed out.
“Not going to save you,” Lucas said with a wicked grin. “Ass in the air, brat.”
Lexi leaned forward. “Fine, but only because I know the phone thing was obnoxious and now that it’s all out in the open, I realize it was the stupidest plan ever. I deserve to have an elephant plug shoved up my poor rectum for being so naïve.”
Aidan got to his knees as she made her way to all fours. Her body had changed over the years, growing a bit softer. She was still the most beautiful thing on the planet. So womanly he couldn’t look at her without thinking about sex. “This is about making sure you can take us, baby.”
He put a hand on her ass, feeling the warm flesh under his palm.
“Tell me you’re not going to enjoy it.”
Such a brat. He brought his hand up and down in a quick arc, the sound cracking through the room. Lexi moaned as he held his palm flat against the flesh he’d spanked. “You know I’m going to love it, baby. Lucas, would you like to help with discipline or do you want to occupy that bratty mouth of hers while I work?”
Lucas had his sweats off in record time. His cock bobbed as he got settled onto the floor. “I think I should make sure she doesn’t get in even more trouble, Master.”
He pumped his cock in his fist, getting it hard and long. Lexi licked her lips as she watched.
“Suck him. Suck him and make him come, and then and only then will I think about giving you a treat. But first”—he slapped her ass again—“it’s a count of thirty. If you ever wave me off when I’m trying to talk to you again, I swear you won’t be able to sit for a week.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to,” she said in a shaky voice. “I think Olivia did something to make phones not work around me anymore. At least not the one I had. I can’t prove it, but she found a way.”
And Olivia was getting a great Christmas present this year. “Suck Lucas.”
Her head moved forward, and Aidan watched as Lucas’s cock started to disappear inside those gorgeous lips. He swatted her ass, finding a good rhythm to go with the way her head moved up and down on Lucas’s dick.
Her skin, so flawless, got a hot pink sheen to it, the flesh of her ass jiggling slightly with each smack. Her knees were spread wide so he could spank every inch of her cheeks and thighs and stop every once in a while to make sure the discipline was having the required effect.
He let his hands slide over her pussy. Yes. She was getting what she needed. Her pussy was soft and ripe with cream. He let his fingers play for a moment and then dragged them into his mouth, enjoying the tangy taste of her essence.