by Josephs, Mia
Bridget slammed the door. Oh, well. Lita’s stomach fluttered in nerves, and all she knew to do was to keep breathing and hope the feeling didn’t get worse. She was worried about Bridget but she didn’t have the emotional energy to worry too hard. At least not yet. A text came back from Griffin.
I had no idea who she was until the end of the night. I sent her home to watch movies, and she made sure I found a cab back to the hotel. That’s it. I swear.
“I can find you someone for the last week,” Dave said softly.
“It’s just a week. I have a few ideas.” Lita closed her eyes, her insides wanting to dance in nerves. She concentrated on breathing and keeping herself calm. She was in need of a long break after this for sure.
Only now she had to talk to Griffin, and she really had no idea how to start that conversation. But there might be one or two more things she should do first…
PART IV
I Will Follow You Into the Dark
Death Cab for Cutie (2006)
I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You
The UB40 version (1993)
Time In A Bottle
Jim Croce (1972)
And any other mushy, awesome love song that speaks to you.
Twenty-eight
Griffin groaned as he scanned his phone backstage in Washington, D.C. The press was rabid over Lita’s brief hospital stay. The pictures were damning. She looked like a skeleton, which wasn’t quite accurate and he wondered how much photo-shopping had been done. He itched to talk to her. To write her. Instead he was afraid to push—wanting her to worry about her before he tried to figure out what they were.
“Oh!” Ryker sat up so fast he nearly fell off the hotel room bed. “Lita put out her own statement!”
Griffin snatched his brother’s phone and hit play.
Lita’s pale, grainy face glowed from the phone light in a dark room.
“I know this recording is crap. I’m doing it on my phone in my hotel room.” Lita glanced around her and twisted the phone around to show the empty room. “I’m here alone. I wanted to ease the fears, but maybe I’ll end up doing the opposite. I’m not healthy. I’m okay, but not healthy. I’m suffering from exhaustion and malnutrition because I’m getting so stressed that I don’t eat. I’m not happy with the way I look right now because I know I’m too thin. I hope no girl looks at me and thinks my body is one they should want. I feel so fortunate that I had problems when I did because it’s a wake up call. I plan on finishing my tour as planned and then going into counseling after that. I hope that other girls out there get the help they need, and that’s… That’s it. I’m learning how to be as tough as I want to be.”
Her Youtube video stopped, and Griffin grinned. She was taking care of it. On her terms. Maybe she was finally starting to realize how strong she was.
Griffin rested against the backboard of the hotel, mindlessly flipping through channels, wishing he knew what he was going to do when the tour was over. Normally after getting the show partially set up, he tried to power nap before the concert, but he couldn’t shut off his brain to sleep. Ryker had no such problems, snoring from his side of the room. After talking to the rest of the crew, Griffin knew they were lucky to be in hotels as often as they were. Normally people slept on the small bus bunks.
Griffin and Stacy had talked once, but only because he forced himself to call. It’s not that he didn’t want to, or did want to… He felt like he should. He’d known Stacy for too long to give up on being some kind of friends or acquaintances. Since their conversation they’d exchanged a few casual texts. She’d passed her tests and would be working at the same salon as a stylist instead of front desk and whatever else she did. She’d moved in with Tina. He was still happy for her, but Ryker was right. The transition to casual friend had been way too easy.
A quick knock at the door pulled Griffin from his bed. Any kind of distraction was welcome.
“Oh good,” Ryker groaned as he rolled over slowly. “‘Cause I wasn’t gonna get up.”
Griffin slapped his brother’s foot on his way past and pulled open the door.
All the air left the room and his chest swelled.
Lita.
Griffin stepped back, rubbing a hand over his dark hair. “Um...come in.”
“I know we haven’t talked or…” Lita shook her head. “I need to get ready, but I have a business proposition for you.”
“Business,” he said, having no idea what to expect after not talking. Griffin let the door fall closed and followed Lita into the room.
She grabbed Ryker’s foot. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you leave now.”
“You can afford way more than a hundred.” Ryker pulled the blankets over his head.
“But can you afford to lose your balls?” she quipped holding the bill in the air.
He shot from the bed with a fake smile, batting his lashes and snatching the money. “Anything for you, Lita. Break a leg tonight.”
Griffin took the moment that Ryker and Lita exchanged looks to watch her. Her cheeks had more color and she stood with a strength he hadn’t seen on her since he first met her. And she was there.
Lita turned to Griffin and Ryker wagged his brows behind Lita before pulling open the door and walking out.
She let out a long breath. “I thought this was going to be so easy, but with you…” Lita shook her head. “I can’t… I don’t know how to not be real with you.”
“Good.” Griffin smiled, enjoying seeing her flustered and trying not to be flustered himself. “You had a business thing?”
“Yeah, but I’m warning you now that I’m a pain in the ass, and you’ll hate me by the end of the week.” She folded her arms.
Griffin chuckled and sat, patting next to him on the bed for her to do the same.
“Why aren’t you yelling at me for being such a bitch?” she asked.
“You were protecting yourself. I get it. But it doesn’t mean I wasn’t pissed too. You sort of redeemed yourself by singing my song again the other night.” It had felt like way more than an apology.
She pressed her fingers into her eyes. “I wasn’t going to talk about any of this.”
“Any of what?” He touched her elbow, giving her a small tug and she let him lead her the two steps next to where he sat. She stayed standing, facing him.
“Me. You.” Her eyes found his, but only for a second. “How it felt to see you with someone you so obviously loved. How it felt to see you with…with…Stacy.”
“I do love Stacy, but not like…”
“I read the note you wrote. Very old-school of you.” She relaxed her arms until her hands sat on his shoulders.
Griffin used every bit of self-control he had to not set his hands on her hips as he stared at her stomach. She was so close. “And do you have any questions?” he asked.
Lita shook her head. “I trust you. I trust the way I feel around you. I’d have never told you all the things I did otherwise. But it’s part of the reason I was so angry when Stacy came. I felt stupid. No. Stupid doesn’t even begin to cover how I felt. I’m not even sure what it is between us…”
“But it’s good.”
Lita nodded, her eyes falling to the floor. “Bridget went home. I’m going to get help when I’m back in LA, but I couldn’t stop the tour.”
“I didn’t figure you would.” He ran a finger across the bands on her wrist. The smoothness of her winding his body up. “You look...good. Even just the week since the hospital.”
“Good?” She stepped closer, standing between his legs. “Is that all?”
This time he let his hands slide up her hips to her waist. “Way better than good.”
“I’m in need of a PA. You keep saying you like to take care of people.”
He nodded. “Habit.”
“So…”
“You want me to be your PA for the rest of the tour?” This time her eyes did find his, and he just stared. Watched. She felt less...frantic than before. It was probably e
qual parts him and her, but he’d take it.
She bit her lip. “I sent Bridget home, so...yeah.”
“Of course, yes.”
“I really am impossible, Griff. I don’t give people chances to explain. I can be a wreck before a show. I need to unwind after… I’m…”
He squeezed her hips. “I know you, Lita. I’m not afraid.”
She nodded once.
“What happened with Bridget?”
Lita sighed. “We need space from each other. I think that’s the easiest explanation.”
“So I’m supposed to sort of fill Bridget’s shoes.”
Her hands slid up his neck and her thumbs slid across his cheeks. “Sort of. But I have one condition.”
“Only one?” he teased.
“Okay.” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe a few.”
He cocked a brow, waiting for her to continue, loving the closeness of her.
Biting her lip, she tried to hold in her smile. “There might be some sexual harassment involved in your job, if you’re up for it.”
“Isn’t that horribly politically incorrect of you?” he teased.
She grinned. “Yep.”
He squeezed his hands again, letting his fingers touch the warmth of her skin in that spot just above the waist of her jeans. The spot he vowed to kiss before long. Along with a lot of other places. “I’m up for it.”
“And I don’t… I don’t want to be afraid to tell you things. I don’t want to worry that I’m going to feel humiliated later. Like I did when Stacy came.” There was so much determination in her words. Force. Strength. All the things Griffin had seen in her right away, but that had taken Lita a while to recognize.
“And the one thing I learned with my split from Stacy is to be honest—even when you’re worried what the other person will think.”
“So that lesson goes for both of us, huh?” Lita asked. “This feels so…real, real.”
“Raw,” he agreed. “Which I think is good.” Or totally amazing because they were both moving into whatever they were going to be, fully aware of one another’s flaws.
Lita relaxed and sat on his leg and Griffin immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. This was okay now. The relief at holding her without the guilt helped give him the courage to place a kiss on her cheek. It felt new, but also comfortable in a way he never thought she’d feel.
“At the end of the tour, I’m going to give you a bonus, and you have to take it.” She pressed a finger to his chest.
He pulled back. “What?”
“I’m serious.” She leaned in closer and loosely wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt her warmth, breathed her in. Something light and floral and…sweet. His brain began to fuzz at the nearness of her. Of someone new. Of someone he could really see himself with—the adult version of himself.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
“So…” she trailed off, her lips amazingly close to his. “We have a deal then?”
“Yes.” Griffin slid his hands up her body, cupped her cheeks and carefully pressed his lips to hers, letting the feel of her run through him in a wave of heat. “We have a deal.”
Twenty-nine
Lita slumped in her backstage chair. “I just… The thought of the hair and spray and the stuff… It feels like too much tonight.”
“So leave your hair down,” Griffin suggested as he stood near the door. He may have been there to help Lita, but he also had the guitars to worry about.
She frowned into the mirror. “I’m not sure I can.”
“Of course you can. You’re Lita James.” He winked. “You can do whatever you want.”
A corner of her mouth pulled up. “I’ll go crazy with makeup then.”
Griffin gave her a short bow. “I have my phone. Text if you need anything else. I shall prepare the lady’s guitars.”
Lita snorted as she shook her head with a smile. “You’re such a dork.”
He blew a kiss at her. “You love it.” And stepped into the hallway. The local band was finishing up, so he had to hustle. So far he’d been managing well, and even Lita’s father had begun to send him texts to ask about his daughter. That was a closeness Griffin really wanted to have with the way he was felt about her.
“About time your lazy ass showed up,” Ryker teased as Griffin slid Lita’s guitar out of its case.
“Yep,” Griffin agreed. “About time.” For a lot of things.
Lita spoke into the mic just before she would normally do her last song. “I have this friend who takes care of my guitars, and takes care of me a little, and he wrote this killer song. Same guy who wrote the last killer song. Would you like to hear it?”
The crowd went insane, and even though the show was almost over, she had at least a little bit of energy left. Just days of eating healthier and she felt like a new person.
Lita glanced over at Griffin who was shaking his head.
The crowd went insane as she beckoned to him again.
“Come on, Griffin,” she sang.
In that second she knew that pictures of her and Griffin onstage the last time had flown over the Internet, even though she’d played him off as a nobody. This time she wasn’t going to play him off as a nobody and the pictures would really fly. She didn’t care. No matter how careful she was, someone was going to find fault or want to talk. That could not be the thing that drove her forward. At least not anymore. And her hair flying around her onstage had been a nice break from the stiff near-mohawk she’d had through the tour. He was right. There were a lot of things she had control over.
The crowd started chanting his name and he smiled wider and finally slowly ambled onstage.
They screamed so loud, Lita found herself covering her ears.
“Instead of doing my normal encore, me and Griff here are gonna sing you a song!” she yelled over the crowd. “It’s one he wrote for a friend back home, and I’ve only played this one once, and never for an audience, and never with Griffin, but we’ll try not to ruin it for you.”
More cheers.
Lita handed him a guitar and whispered, “I’m sure it’s tuned fine.”
“It is.” His eyes scanned the crowd and his hands shook as he sat. “What song are we doing?” His chuckle was nervous.
“The I Still Love You one, whatever it’s called.”
“That’ll work.” His voice almost squeaked, and she loved the idea that he was so nervous to be out there.
“Close your eyes if it helps.” She sat next to him and leaned over. “Ready?”
His eyes opened and he took in the crowd.
“Not ready at all,” Griff said into the mic with a chuckle. “There are a lot of you out there.”
The crowd laughed and she watched him roll his shoulders back, trying to relax.
Lita started in the pattern she’d done for his song, and Griffin’s voice started slow and sweet in the love song that was maybe now her favorite.
“There’s still sand in my shoes…from the first day I met you…who knew then, we’d go this far…”
And then Lita tapped his leg with hers as a sign she was going to do the next verse. “…there’s still a smile on my heart, drawn by you at the small town park…”
And when they started the chorus together, the crowd went totally nuts.
“…And every day I know again, I still love you like I did back then…and I guess I always will…I always will…”
He grinned, bumped her knee with his, and she knew he was hooked. Just like she’d been.
When they finished she grabbed him in a sideways hug and planted a kiss on his cheek.
Yes. This had been a very, very, good idea.
Lita didn’t rush back to her dressing room like she normally did after a show. As soon as the crowd had left, she sat on the stage floor, her legs spread out in front of her while Griffin helped put away the guitars, cords, microphones…all the onstage stuff that went with her show.
His body buzzed from being onstage with her. Singing with her
. Singing a song that was a much quieter version of Lita than her fans had seen. He’d loved every second of it…once he’d gotten past the terror.
Griffin reached his hand down toward her to help her stand. “I think my first official command after being dubbed your PA is that—”
“Clearly, you don’t know how this works,” Lita teased before placing one of Griffin’s potato chips in her mouth.
Griff didn’t even slow. “Come out with the band. To Denny’s. I’ve already talked to Apelu. He’s ready. He’s waiting. So’s the band. They like you, Lita. They just don’t know you.”
He saw the panic in her eyes as she stopped chewing.
“It’s okay. It’ll be fine.” He squeezed her hand and she finally let him help her to standing. “At least know them a little before your tour is over.”
“Yeah.” She stepped forward. “Okay.”
He slipped his arm around her waist, already determined to do everything with her the right way. The honest way. The best way.
Lita shared another story about her mother showing her father how to mow the lawn. He’d grown up with money, her mom had not, and the table laughed with her again. Griffin was so glad he’d talked her into this.
She grabbed Griffin’s knee under the table and squeezed, her smile splitting her face.
He also noted that she’d eaten more again. Her mind was somewhere else. Her non-eating was definitely stress-induced, but he was still beyond thankful she was getting help for it once she was home.
“Okay.” Ryker stood, stretching. “It’s three am and this gorgeous man needs his sleep.”
Griffin threw a napkin at his brother, and the guys all stood to leave.
Griffin snatched the check, but Lita slipped it from his fingers and paid quickly as the guys slapped her shoulder and thanked her with smiles. Her paying was something he’d probably never, ever get used to—a hazard of being raised in a small southern town.
But Lita beamed as she signed the credit card slip.