by Lia London
“Oh good.” Elfie stood in the open door. “I was hoping to introduce you two. This is perfect.”
Mac – a heartbeat later
Mac felt as if he’d swallowed a two-liter bottle of pop and would bounce around for joy or spew on the spot. Of all people from his past to turn up when life hung upside down, why did it have to be his craziest crush from high school? His mouth went dry. How had she gotten even more beautiful in the last ten years? And here he was on the floor with a bumped head, like a total doofus.
“Hi. I…uh.” This was not how his daydreams of Willa Fillmore ever went. He was supposed to be slick and witty and—
“You know how to fix washers?” Willa’s bright eyes warmed him through as they had when she used to admire his video game skills or calculus test scores.
He gave an awkward shrug. “I try.”
Elfie’s smug expression caught his eye, and he panicked. This was the caregiver she was talking about? The poor old woman had no idea how hopeless that quest was. Mac had spent two years clumsily wooing her in high school without even a single date to claim as a prize.
He needed to get out of their intense gazes before the heat in his ears came out as steam.
“Aunt Laila gave me more stuff to put in storage,” he said, wincing at the crack in his voice. Had seeing Willa again short-circuited his vocal chords? She’d think he was still going through puberty.
Gramma Elfie rubbed her arms as if chilled. “Oh. There’s more? Why don’t you put the things on the kitchen table? Willa here is helping me sort.” She held her hands out to introduce them. “This is the grandson I told you about. Mac, this is my new neighbor. I think you two—”
“Let’s get the stuff out of your car,” said Willa quickly, walking out of the garage before he could answer.
“Oh. Well, that’s a good start.” Gramma Elfie gave Mac a knowing smile and tilted her head after Willa. “Isn’t she cute?”
How could Mac answer? Cute didn’t begin to cover it in his eyes, but what good would it do him to notice? They’d been close friends—at least as close as a computer geek like him could get with a girl that pretty and sweet—but when his remedial flirtations failed, graduation sent them off in different directions. He’d been too discouraged—too chicken—to follow up on their friendship.
“Mac?” prompted Elfie.
“Oh. Right.” He hurried after Willa, who stood with her hands on her hips, staring at his car.
“Do you think she figured out that we know each other?” She hadn’t made eye contact, but the smirk on her cheek teased him.
“Um. Probably not.”
“Are we telling her?” She smiled over her shoulder. On any other woman, it would look coy and contrived, but Willa made it casual and friendly.
If they did tell, his grandmother would push harder with her matchmaking. “Nah, it’ll be our little secret.” He said it, yet he longed to throw his arms around Willa in a happy reunion embrace. No, she’d think that was weird. They weren’t teens anymore.
“Whatever you say.” Willa knocked on the trunk of the car, and he quickly fumbled for the key fob to unlock it. She pulled open the trunk and reached inside for the large paper bags full of envelopes and manila folders. As she turned with a sack in each arm, he experienced a flashback to her carrying her textbooks for their study sessions.
“You look great, Willa. It’s like you haven’t changed a day.”
“Thanks.”
He glimpsed puzzlement in her eyes, but then she turned and marched back to the kitchen door. When he entered behind her, he surveyed the piles of his mother’s belongings. “What’s going on here?”
“I told you. Sorting,” said Gramma Elfie. “Did your mother really wear these?” She held up a pair of striped suspenders with a quizzical frown.
Mac snatched them from her hands. “I gave these to her for Christmas one year when I was little. I thought they were cool.” He smiled at the memory. “She acted all happy to get them. I think it was the first time I bought her something with my own money.”
His eyes flickered to Willa’s whose face turned pensive.
With a sad shrug, Gramma Elfie sat down. “I’m sorry, Mac. I was figuring out what to donate and what to throw away, but I guess I shouldn’t have touched her things. It’s been over a month. I thought I should try.”
Mac worked his fingers through his hair, trying to choose a response. At last he slung the suspenders over his shoulder and began stuffing the piles back into the large box. “I’ll deal with this stuff, Gramma. You don’t have to worry about it. Can we leave it in the garage?”
“Wherever, Mac. Get to them when you can.” Gramma Elfie suddenly seemed older and smaller, and Mac’s heart, still mending, cracked a little to see her pain.
Planting a kiss on the top of her head, he changed his mind. “Unless you want to keep working through Mom’s stuff down here. If it helps you, do it. If not, I will. But please don’t give anything of hers away until I okay it.”
“All right, dear. Thanks for bringing those things over.” She gave him an imploring look. “Can you fix the washer?”
“I’ll tinker with it and try to get some answers,” he said.
“Answers?” asked Gramma.
Mac slid into the chair next to her. “Answers. Some answers aren’t easy. Broken washers. Death.”
“What to do with all the stuff that’s left when everything falls apart.” Gramma Elfie took his hand in both of hers and squeezed it, then reached out to Willa.
“Willa, though. I’ve got an answer for you, and it’s yes. You’ve got the job permanently.”
Willa’s face lit up, and Mac recognized the stifled squeal of excitement from countless triumphs in their youth. “Thank you, Elfie! You won’t regret this.”
Gramma Elfie rested her cheek on Mac’s shoulder. “I think she’s just what we need in our lives right now. I really do.”
Willa – half an hour later
“Melina, Melina, Melina, you are never going to guess what just happened!”
“You didn’t win the lottery because you never take chances, and you didn’t lose something because you’re too responsible.”
Willa struck a reprimanding pose and held the cell phone tighter. “Would you stop making me sound like the most boring person in the whole world? I’ve got super exciting news!”
“I’m listening.” Even through the phone, Willa could tell Melina was watching TV.
“Mac Norton is Elfie Asher’s grandson.” She waited for Melina to cheer. Nothing happened. “Mel? You there?”
“Mac Norton. Was that your biology professor?”
“Oh, you never remember anything!” Willa began pacing through the house, half of her mind racing with ideas on how to decorate and organize it now that she knew she was staying, and half of it trying to process what had just happened across the way. “Mac Norton. He was my high school secret crush.”
“Well, you clearly kept it a secret from me since we didn’t meet until junior year of college.”
Willa paced into the second bedroom, empty enough to echo a little as she spoke. “He was one of my best friends. We studied and hung out together all the time, and I always had this crush on him because he was like the sweetest guy.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. He was always helping me with stuff, and he’d be the first to sign up when I planned service projects at the retirement center, and he helped me survive my info tech classes.”
“And?”
Willa deflated a little at the memory. “But he never, you know, came on to me. I always hoped he would, but then…”
“Sounds like he was following you around like a lovesick puppy. What stronger message did he need to send?”
“Maybe trying to hold my hand or kiss me or something?” With a frown, she leaned against the window with her forehead, looking out at the tidy backyard. “I guess it wasn’t meant to be. He didn’t even call me after graduation.”
> Melina didn’t say anything.
“You there?”
“Huh? Oh yeah. Was he cute?”
Willa could tell Melina still wasn’t paying attention, but she answered anyway. “Oh, he was okay back then, but dang. He must’ve gotten a gym membership or something because he filled out in all the right places, and he’s traded his acne for the cutest stubble, and…” She paused and spoke louder for Melina’s benefit. “He’s smokin’ hot, Mel. Drool on my shoes, melt me like a popsicle, hot.”
“Wow! Really? When can I meet him?” Finally, Melina was focused. “Please don’t tell me he’s married with kids.”
Willa’s heart skipped a beat. “I don’t think… Wait. Could…?” She scanned her memory for a ring on his finger, but she hadn’t spent much time looking at his hands. “Um. I hope not. Man, that would stink.”
“So, how’d you find out? What was he doing there?”
“I was helping Elfie go through some boxes, and—Oh!” Willa gasped and covered her mouth, sliding down the wall to sit with her legs stretched out across the empty hardwood floor. “Oh my gosh, Mel, I’m such an idiot. We were going through his mother’s belongings. She must’ve just died. He’s got to be grieving. Elfie, too. Oh, man! How horrible for them!”
“Perfect timing for you to be some kind of comforting angel.”
Willa stared at the phone. “Melina, how can you be so mercenary? I can’t make the moves right now. Number one, he wasn’t interested before, so why would he be now, and number two, I need to be there as a friend, not demanding attention when he’s in the middle of a family tragedy.”
“You’re too nice, Willa. It’s going to bite you in the butt. Mark my words.”
Mac – an hour later
Mac dropped his tool box on the cement pad of Gramma Elfie’s garage and slouched down to sit cross-legged in front of the open washing machine. After the lift of seeing Willa again, the reality of his mother’s death had squashed him one more time. Mom had always liked Willa, too.
His vision blurred with apathy until the little black holes in the tub disappeared. Aunt Laila must have ordered this side-loading model for Gramma. Mom never would have. Too much stooping for an old lady. Scratching his head with both hands, he regarded the machine, picturing a way to raise it on a secure platform so Gramma wouldn’t have to bend down to retrieve her socks. He let out a guttural yell and flopped back on the hard ground, his arms outstretched. “It’s not fair!” He kicked at the washer and relished the booming echo of the metal. For a long time, he stared up into the dusty, exposed rafters of the garage, dark and empty as his heart.
If only he could split himself into two people to carry the load of all he had to do. He loved his Gramma Elfie, but the back-and-forth trips across town so often were taking their toll on his energy. Not to mention they always pricked open the wound of his mother no longer being around.
“Mac?” Willa’s face appeared above him, upside down to his view. Her long hair hung down, shadowing her expression. “Are you all right? I heard a scream and a crash. Did you fall?”
He sat up, turning to face her knees. How embarrassing that she’d caught him in a moment of self-pity and grief. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She crouched beside him, her hand gently resting on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry about your mom. I just pieced it all together. She was a really wonderful person.” Willa paused, as if waiting for him to say something, but he couldn’t think of a reply. It was all too awkward. He was even more of a loser now than when they’d been friends. “Well, if you’re okay…” She backed away toward the sunlight, and he forced himself to look at her silhouette and wave. “See you around, I guess.”
“Willa?”
She stopped but didn’t speak.
“It really is good to see you again. I’ve missed you.”
“You too.” The softness of her voice warmed him.
He wanted to explain, but his thoughts and emotions still tangled themselves like strings of Christmas lights. “Mom took care of everyone, you know. She watched over Gramma and me, and now…” He wished he could see Willa’s face. “Aunt Laila’s too far away, and she doesn’t care anyway, and I’m still on the other side of the metro area, but Gramma needs all this help, and …”
In one swift motion, Willa knelt beside him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. “It’s going to be okay. Give it time.”
Without thinking, he held her back, tightly squeezing her until he feared he might crush her. After all the loss, it felt so amazing to have this moment of trust and support, even if she meant nothing more by it than a comforting hug.
“Shh.” Willa stroked his hair. “I’ll take care of Elfie. You take care of you.”
Willa – a few days later
After Willa unpacked the last of the boxes and plugged in all the lamps and appliances, she relaxed onto her bed and flipped open her laptop. Though she hadn’t seen Mac since that moment in the garage, he’d never been far from the center of her thoughts. Now, with the basics unpacked, she had time to bring the new development into focus. Mac Norton was back in her life.
It took her four tries to remember her old passwords for the decade-old online photo storage account. She hadn’t perused it since her freshman year in college and wasn’t sure what she might fine, but there it was. A digital folder entitled “Big Mac”.
Drawing a deep breath, she clicked. Immediately, her eyes filled with nostalgic tears. Here were memories of happy days spent with the secret love of her life. His complexion was blotchier, his frame more angular, and his dark hair was a decade out of style, but it was Mac. The bright eyes with gently curling lashes, the ready smile that crept higher on one side than the other, and the cute nose she’d always found oddly adorable.
She scrolled slowly, remembering with a sense of peaceful joy. There was a shot of them washing cars as a fundraiser for the senior center’s new garden. He’d been the only one to stay the entire day with her, and they were soaked, disheveled, and laughing.
There was a shot of his legs sticking out from under her first car. She’d needed to get an oil change, and he offered to do it for her. For months afterwards, she’d called him Slime Monster because he’d emerged covered in black goo.
There was a shot someone on yearbook staff had taken of them studying in the library. It never made it into the book, but a friend had sent her the file when she begged and brought a bribe of cookies. Their heads were bowed together over a history textbook, and Willa could almost feel the way the brush of his arm against hers had sent a wash of warmth all through her.
More and more pictures unleashed movie-like memories that carried her through the night, reliving her sixteenth birthday at the Pizza Palace, the time he got mono and they played cards every night for seven weeks, the time she broke her ankle and he carried her books to all her classes, and so many more.
Sometime after four in the morning, she closed the laptop and fell asleep on her stomach above the covers dreaming of the one memory that had only ever existed in her mind—the one where he turned to her and confessed he’d always loved her and kissed her and swept her up into his arms to propose marriage.
Mac – a few days later
“Hey Gramma, how’re you doing?” Mac stood on the front porch.
“Mac. What a pleasant surprise.” She stepped back to let him in.
He paused, peeking over her shoulder. “You don’t have company?”
“Company? No, I never have company, unless you count Willa.”
His heart skipped a beat. “Is she here?”
Gramma Elfie made a show of checking behind the open door. “Not that I can see. Come in, silly. What’s the occasion?”
Mac entered and sank into the loveseat. “I thought I’d come by and take my best girl out for dinner. Do you like Chinese?”
Gramma’s eyes crinkled with laughter. “Oh, you’re so sweet. Dippy told me you used to take her out once a month. She loved her time with you.”
In two sentences, the room had become heavy with their shared pain.
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I miss it.”
Still standing near the door, Gramma Elfie gave him a sad smile. “Mac, sweetie, I’m awfully flattered, but you should’ve called first.” Her eyes softened, and she sat down beside him. “But if your heart is set on Chinese food, I bet my neighbor would be willing to go with you.”
“Your neigh—”
“Willa, silly.” She slapped his knee. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice what a cute little thing she is. Why don’t you go ask her out?”
“Gramma.” He still hadn’t told her of his past with Willa.
“Mac,” she countered softly. “I can’t figure out chopsticks, and orange chicken makes me gassy. Go ask her out. It doesn’t have to be a romantic date. You’re just getting to know her.”
“Right.”
Patting his cheek, she leaned in and placed a maternal kiss on his forehead. “You’re a good boy, Mac. Thanks for coming to see me. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” With his heart pounding a little faster, he let her usher him back outside.
Standing on the front porch, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and hunched his shoulders against the brisk night air. A cold snap creeping in had all the weather forecasters scrambling to show off their latest radar models.
The door opened behind him, and Gramma stuck her head out. “She’s in the house to the left. That way.” She pointed with a grin.
“Yes, Gramma. I’m going,” he said with an exaggerated groan. He clumped down the steps and walked slowly down the path. Cutting across the lawn would be more efficient, but it didn’t afford him time to rehearse an excuse for showing up unannounced.
He shook his head at how far he’d fallen. With Willa, there should be no pretense. They’d known each other for years.
Willa – a few minutes later