by Noelle Adams
***
The ladies’ tea party was exactly as Madison had expected—a lot of frills, flowers, and gossip. It was nice to see several old friends, however, and most of them were nicer than she remembered, without that cattiness that had been a normal part of social interaction back in high school. After mingling, drinking tea and champagne, and eating fancy fruit and petit fours for an hour, Madison made a point of cornering Charlie so she could figure out why her friend looked so upset.
As expected, Charlie was having trouble getting her man to make his move. It had been obvious to Madison for a while now that Simon was crazy about Charlie, but he was quite a bit older than her and had been named trustee in her parents’ will, so he was evidently uncomfortable with changing their relationship.
Madison was sure Charlie could manage to change his mind, so she gave her friend the best advice she could think of.
When she’d managed to perk Charlie up, Charlie asked, “So have you seen Kevin yet?”
“No. He’s texted a couple of times, but I guess he’s at that pub party thing down the hall. Maybe we can find each other after this thing is over.”
“Are you excited?”
Madison shrugged.
“You’re supposed to be excited. You’re supposed to be having fun this weekend. What’s bothering you?”
Madison started to shrug again but then saw Charlie’s expression and decided not to even try. Instead, she admitted, “Oh, I don’t know. Things have just felt weird with Timothy, and for some reason it’s really bothering me.”
“Weird how?”
“Nothing obvious. Just kind of… I don’t know. Like we can’t even talk normally the way we usually do. He does a lot of staring, like he’s thinking all kinds of things he’s not willing to say.”
Charlie’s eyebrows lifted. “What kinds of things?”
“Not those kinds of things.”
“How do you know he’s not thinking those kinds of things?”
“Because he doesn’t think about me that way.”
“How do you know?”
Madison gave a little groan. “Would you stop, Charlie? I’m not stupid, you know. I know I haven’t dated in a while, but it’s not because I’m inexperienced or guy illiterate. And one thing I know is that if they’re interested, then they’re going to make a move. If they don’t make some sort of move, then there’s no use imagining feelings.”
Charlie’s smiled faded. “Do you think that’s always the case?”
Immediately realizing her mistake, Madison hurried to fix it. “Not with you and Simon. I think there’s legitimate reasons for him to be holding back. And you know I think he’s completely into you. But that’s an unusual situation. It wouldn’t apply to Timothy. It’s been two years since his wife died. You know they say that men who had happy marriages usually remarry quickly after they’re widowed. He had a happy marriage. He’s a healthy, virile man who’s not even thirty years old yet. I’ve been clearly available for more than a year now. If he wanted me, don’t you think he would have… he would have…” Madison’s voice cracked, which was utterly embarrassing.
Charlie’s expression was sympathetic. “Maybe. I mean, it would make sense. I really thought he’d say something or do something about six months ago, when you all were spending all that time together. But he didn’t. And now… I don’t know. You’re probably smart not to hold out hopes for him. But I do think it’s possible that he has real reasons to be holding back. And I can’t help thinking you’d rather be with him this weekend than Kevin. Wouldn’t you rather find a man to love you than have a quick hookup?”
“Of course I would.” Madison was still feeling ridiculously emotional, so she took a couple of breaths to calm herself down. “But it doesn’t matter what I would prefer. Finding a man to love me isn’t an option for this weekend, but having a hookup might be.”
Charlie looked like she might have some more to say, but she visibly rethought it and just gave Madison a hug instead. “Whatever you end up doing, just be brave. If Hannah and I have to be brave this weekend to get what we want, then you do too.”
“I will,” Madison promised, feeling better despite a lingering knot of confusion. “Brave it is.”
***
She meant what she’d said to Charlie, so once the party started to disperse, she pulled out her phone and texted Kevin, Are you around?
His response came less than a minute later. Walking into the hall.
She felt strange and fluttery—but not really excited—as she left the room and looked around. She wanted to see Kevin. She really did. And she wasn’t going to let any weirdness with Timothy get in the way.
She saw Kevin almost immediately, looking almost exactly as he had in high school with thick, floppy hair and a perpetually shy expression. She smiled and headed toward him, just as he started toward her.
He hugged her, which went on a little too long, and then he gave her a very obvious once-over, concluding by saying, “You look great.”
Despite her attempts to focus on Kevin, she couldn’t help but compare the way he’d complimented her with the way Timothy had. Timothy’s admiration had felt real, authentic. Kevin’s felt like a line.
They talked for a few minutes, progressing only as far as the normal preliminaries in a conversation—the wedding, their trips here, the hotel. She was searching her mind for something to say that would move them forward and wondering if flirting had always been so difficult when her attention was caught by someone walking into the hall from the pub party room.
It was Timothy. He stood out to her among the other men and women now filling the hall. It wasn’t his suit or his hair or his features or his body. It was just him. Timothy. She would know him anywhere, from nothing more than the briefest of glances.
She must not have done a good job of staying focused on Kevin because he turned to see who she was looking at.
She gave Timothy a little wave and then looked at Kevin with a sheepish smile.
“Is that your date?”
“No, no. I just drove out with him. We’re… friends.”
Kevin looked from Timothy and back at Madison. “Friends, are you?”
“Yes. You remember Timothy, don’t you?”
“Yes. I remember him. He was always annoyingly nice.”
The comment bothered her, and she frowned in response to it. “What do you mean annoyingly?”
“Nothing. Just that he was always a nice guy and everyone liked him.”
That was true. Madison didn’t know why niceness would ever be considered annoying, not if it was genuine the way Timothy’s was. Niceness was sadly rare in the world. They could use more of it.
“You’re still friends with him?” Kevin added.
“Yeah. I was good friends with Emily Glenn. Timothy married her. You remember her? She died of cancer two years ago.”
“I heard that. That really… sucks. Poor old Tim.”
Madison couldn’t tell if Kevin was just saying that or if he really meant it. Either way, Timothy had always hated being called Tim.
“Anyway,” Kevin said, “it looks like he wants to talk to you, so I’ll catch up with you later.”
Surprised, Madison looked over at Timothy again. He was looking at her, but he hadn’t made any move to approach, so she wasn’t sure what Kevin was talking about. But Kevin had already disconnected from the conversation, so she said goodbye and watched him leave, feeling like a loser.
And also a little relieved.
The conversation had been kind of frustrating, and she was glad it was over.
Less than a minute later, Timothy came over.
“How did it go?” he asked, his expression serious and his eyes searching her face.
She gave a little shrug.
“Why did he leave so quickly?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
Timothy looked over to where Kevin was chatting with two of the guys he’d always hung out with in school. “Did y
ou let him know you were interested?”
Madison made a choking noise. “Let him know… I haven’t seen him in years. We don’t even know each other anymore.”
“So you’re not interested?”
There was a strange urgency to the question, so Madison studied his expression, but she couldn’t really figure it out. If he’d looked jealous, she would have been thrilled, but he didn’t. He just looked… urgent. “I… It doesn’t matter.”
She said it mostly because she wanted the topic to be over, and she was worried that Timothy might see something in her face that he wasn’t supposed to see.
“Why doesn’t it matter?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, he added, “Why wouldn’t what you want matter?”
“It does matter. I was just saying…” She had no idea what she was saying. She felt flustered and tongue-tied and more excited by this odd little conversation than she had at seeing Kevin again.
“Why do you always hide?”
“I don’t hide,” she said, sucking in a quick breath. “What are you talking about?”
“You do. A lot. You hide what you think and feel if you think it’s not practical or appropriate or smart.”
“I do not. What is that supposed to be mean?” Her cheeks were burning now, and she remembered very clearly that he’d said something similar to her before. She couldn’t help but wonder if what he was saying was true.
She didn’t do that. Did she?
“You know what it means. You know what I’m talking about. There’s so much of you that you hide behind a… a curtain, a veil. You won’t let me see it.”
“Everyone does that. No one shows the world everything.”
“Maybe. But I’m not the world. Why would you hide it from me?” He was holding her eyes, absolutely earnest.
Her lips parted, and she almost said what she was really thinking, everything she’d been holding back about her feelings for him.
But it would change everything. And he didn’t want to hear it. So the words got caught in her throat.
Instead, she gave him a little smile and said, “I think you’re imagining things.”
She didn’t think he was imagining it.
He knew her really well.
And he was absolutely right about her.
***
Dinner that evening was in place of the rehearsal dinner, but it was open to all the wedding guests, so it was a huge fancy event, rivaling the wedding reception itself.
Madison had bought a new evening gown to wear for tonight and another one for tomorrow since her other formal dresses were all several years out of date. Her gown tonight was sleek and flattering in a stylish shade of rose-orange with sparkly, crisscross straps. She pulled her hair up into a sleek bun, and she felt like a new person, like a princess.
Like Cinderella at the ball.
Her only possibility of a prince, however, hadn’t seemed too excited to connect with her.
Honestly, she hadn’t been very excited either.
She’d probably been foolish to think that Kevin might be a good one-night stand.
Those things weren’t planned anyway. They just happened.
Of course, they never happened to her, but in theory they just happened.
One way or another, Charlie was going to get Simon to admit his feelings this weekend. And Hannah was no longer going to be a virgin. Bruce would be quite happy to help her out with that.
Only Madison would not get what she wanted this weekend.
She wasn’t exactly sure what it was she wanted anymore.
She was sitting on her bed, completely ready for dinner twenty minutes early, feeling tired and rather discouraged. She picked up her phone to text Charlie and Hannah but stopped herself.
They would be busy getting ready. No need to distract them for no good reason.
There wasn’t good reason. Madison was just feeling… droopy.
When there was a knock on the door, Madison jumped up in surprise, walking over to discover through the peephole that it was Timothy, standing in the hall, dressed in a tuxedo, looking for all the world like a movie star.
Madison slumped even more. Then she straightened her spine, told herself to get a grip, and opened the door with a smile.
Only then did she discover that Timothy was holding his phone.
Timothy didn’t say anything. He just stared at her.
“What is it?” Madison asked after waiting a few seconds.
Timothy still didn’t answer. He was staring at her like the wind was knocked out of him.
“Is that Jenny on the phone?” Madison asked, recognizing from the way he was holding the phone that he must be on a call. “Can I say hi?”
Timothy just handed it to her silently.
“Jenny?” she said into the phone, hoping her guess was right since Timothy had evidently gone mute.
“Madison!” Jenny said happily. “I asked Daddy if I could talk to you, and he said he would see if you were available.”
Madison chuckled and stepped back into her room, holding the door open so Timothy could follow. “I am available. It was a very convenient time since I was just thinking I wanted to talk to you.”
“What did you want to talk to me about?” Jenny’s voice was utterly sober.
“Just to say hi and see what you were up to.”
“Grandma and Grandpa took me to the museum this afternoon.”
“Which one?”
“The Natural History Museum.” It was clear from the way she pronounced the words that every one was capitalized in her mind.
“Oh, that’s a good one. Did you see the dinosaurs?”
“Yes. And all the gems. And a piece of rock from the moon. I know we said the moon was beautiful in itself, but the rock wasn’t very beautiful.”
“Well, I think the rock needs to be part of the whole moon for us to see how beautiful it really is.”
“Oh.” Jenny paused, clearly thinking this over. “That makes sense. Are you having fun with Daddy?”
“Yes. We’re getting to see a lot of old friends and dressing up really fancy.” She glanced over, noticing that Timothy was standing against the wall, his eyes still resting on her in that way that made her self-conscious.
“Good. He wanted to have fun with you.”
Madison blinked. “Oh really?”
“Yes, really. He said he wanted to have fun with you. He was excited about it.”
Madison frowned, wondering what Timothy had told her that had led Jenny to this interpretation. “Well, that’s good,” she said lamely.
“I asked him if he would have more fun with you than with me, and he said it was a different kind of fun.”
Madison’s eyes grew larger. What the hell had Timothy told the girl? Had he stumbled into some sort of awkward conversation and hadn’t been able to get out of it?
“Aren’t you going to answer?” Jenny asked.
“Oh, yes, of course I am. I think he was probably exactly right.”
“He’s very smart.”
“Yes, he is.”
“You like him, don’t you?”
“Of course I do!”
“Oh. Good.”
Madison’s cheeks were burning again. She wished they wouldn’t do that. “Well, we have to go down to our dinner soon, but I hope you have a good evening and sleep well.”
“I will.”
“And be good for your grandma and grandpa.”
“I always am.”
“Here’s your daddy again. I love you, Jenny.”
“I love you too.”
Madison handed off the phone, glad of a brief reprieve to pull herself together.
She really hoped Jenny wasn’t getting hopes where she and Timothy were concerned. That wasn’t going to end well.
Timothy only took the time to say good night and he loved her before he ended the call.
Then he just stood there staring at her again.
Madison shifted from foot to foot. “She sounds lik
e she’s having a good weekend.”
“Yes. I think so. What was she talking to you about?”
Clearing her throat, she replied, “Just telling me about what she saw at the museum and asking if we were having a good time.”
“Were you talking about me? I heard you say, ‘he is.’”
“Oh, yeah, she was telling me you were very smart, and I was agreeing with her.”
Timothy chuckled, looking more natural now. “That’s good to know. Anything else?”
Madison wasn’t—she simply wasn’t—going to tell him that his daughter was asking whether she liked him. “Not really.” She went over to pick up her clutch and check out her appearance in the mirror.
She looked like a well-dressed stranger. It was startling.
“Well, let’s go down then.”
He walked in silence at her side as they went down the hall toward the elevator. When they got on, Madison was feeling self-conscious again.
Why the hell was he being so quiet?
“Is something wrong?” she asked when she couldn’t hold the question back any longer.
“What would be wrong?”
“I don’t know. You’re just not saying much.”
His eyes ran up and down her body. “What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Anything. You’ve been quiet since we got here. Normally you say things.”
“I’ll try to do better.”
He was eyeing her again, so she glanced down at herself. “Is something wrong with how I look?”
“What? What would be wrong?”
“I don’t know. You keep staring at me weird.”
“It’s not supposed to be weird. You look…”
“What?”
“Beautiful,” he admitted, his eyes dropping as he said the word. “I’m sorry if I’m acting weird. I’m just not used to seeing you like this.”
Of course he wasn’t. She was normally wearing yoga pants and a ponytail. He didn’t think about her as beautiful. He thought about her as… helpful.
His compliment should have made her feel good, but it didn’t.
It made her feel droopier than ever.
She didn’t want him to be surprised that she could occasionally look nice.
She wanted him to think she was beautiful all the time.