by Noelle Adams
“What?” she squeaked.
A warm light glimmered behind the earnestness of his expression. “Can’t you say anything but what?”
“What?” she said before she could stop herself. She giggled and raised a hand to cover her mouth, her mind finally starting to catch up to what was happening.
“You should have told me what you wanted a long time ago, and we both could have avoided this drama.”
“What?” she demanded in a different tone. “You’re really blaming all this on me?”
“Who else?”
She was almost sputtering now, even though she could see the amused glint in his eyes. “You could have told me what you wanted a long time ago too.”
“I thought I had.”
“You never told me anything.”
“I kept arranging dates for us. All kinds of dates. Why do you think I kept doing that? And how do you think I felt when you kept turning them into something else?”
“You were… you were doing that on purpose?”
“Of course I was doing that on purpose. Do you think I accidently stumbled into romantic outings and candlelit dinners with you?” He was leaning into her now, and she could feel the warmth of his body.
“There were only candles once!”
“That’s supposed to be your closing argument? There were only candles once?”
“And you brought your parents to the movie with you!” she burst out, remembering another fact in her favor.
His features twisted just slightly. “I… I did. I’m sorry. It was supposed to be a date. A real date. I was so excited. I thought… I hoped you might like me a little, that your feelings for me were finally changing. I was so excited about it that I started to feel guilty about it, like I shouldn’t be feeling that way, like I shouldn’t be so completely into any woman other than Emily. So I guilted myself into emotional quicksand, and I almost canceled on you. I came so close because I was such a guilty emotional wreck. My mom wouldn’t let me. She knew how I felt about you, and she didn’t want me to give up completely. So she suggested they come along so the date wouldn’t feel so significant to me. It was the only way I could let myself do it back then.”
She stared at him for a moment, her lips parted as she processed his words. “Oh, Timothy,” she said, her voice breaking. “I had no idea you were going through all that. You could have told me. I would have understood.”
“I know you would have. I should have told you. But why do you think I can recognize so easily what it looks like to hide your heart? Because I’m just as good at it as you are.”
Her eyes burned for a moment at the depth of his words.
Then he added, “But clearly I figured it out before you did.”
“Oh, you big asshole,” she said, falling into giggles even as she swatted at his chest. “You know this isn’t all my fault. You didn’t say anything either. It’s both of us.”
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. “I know,” he admitted. “Of course it’s both of us. At first I was scared and guilty—like I was somehow betraying Emily by wanting you so much. And then it seemed so much like you were keeping me in the friend zone that I couldn’t risk the heartache. And I couldn’t risk losing what I had with you. I don’t know how Jenny and I would have made it these last two years without you, Madison. I try to be a nice guy. I keep trying to be a nice guy and be content with what I have. But I can’t always be as nice as I should. Maybe it’s selfish to want even more of you than I already have, but I do. I want everything.”
She whimpered against his bare shoulder, wondering if she was dreaming this because it felt like every dream she’d ever had was coming true.
“I love you, honey,” Timothy murmured into her damp hair. “I love you. And Jenny loves you. And I want you to love us just as much.”
“I do,” she said, raising her head so she could look him in the eye. “I love you both with everything that’s in me to love.”
She saw the breaking of feeling on his face. She could see how much her words meant to him.
Then he kissed her, and she knew it yet again.
They were still kissing when the server came with the room service tray, but Madison was too happy to be embarrassed about being caught making out in the hall in just a T-shirt with a man who was wearing big-eyed sheep pajamas.
They went back into his room to eat their breakfast, and then they made love in bed with urgent, needy tenderness.
Madison’s big weekend hadn’t gone anything like she’d expected, but she’d ended up getting everything she wanted.
Far more than she’d ever believed she could get.
***
Four months later, Madison was trying to get ready for a night out with Timothy, and nothing was going smoothly.
First her blow-dryer died halfway through her hair, so she’d had to use Timothy’s—a wimpy travel-size device that wasn’t nearly strong enough to deal with her hair.
Then, halfway through her makeup, she remembered a load of laundry she’d started that morning and left wet in the washer all day. So she had to run to the laundry closet in the hall and move it to the dryer before she forgot again and left it sitting all night.
Then Jenny wanted to go over her vocab words for a test tomorrow, so Madison stopped to review them with her for ten minutes.
So when Timothy got home at just before six—since he’d stayed late in his office to finish grading papers—Madison was wearing her robe with half-dried hair and half-done makeup.
“I know,” she said before he’d had time to say anything. “Our reservation is at six thirty, and I’m not even close to ready. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”
They were going downtown to eat dinner and then to a play. Madison had been excited about it for a couple of weeks, but now she was hassled and flustered.
“There’s no hurry,” Timothy said with a little smile. “I still need to shower and change myself. Those papers took forever to grade. They’re—”
“The bane of your existence,” Jenny finished for him soberly.
“Exactly right,” Timothy said, nodding as if she’d said something very wise.
Madison left Jenny to review her vocab words one more time and went into the bedroom to finish getting ready. While Timothy was in the shower, she put on her underwear, stockings, and jewelry and—since he showered in about three minutes—she hadn’t gotten any further than that when he came out into the bedroom completely naked.
She took a moment to admire his body but told herself not to get distracted since they really were getting short on time. Timothy had been so quick in the shower that he hadn’t even steamed up the mirror, so she went back to the vanity to finish with her makeup.
Most of the time, she used moisturizer and maybe a little lip gloss. So it always took her longer than it should to put on makeup for real. She was still working on her mascara when Timothy came into the bathroom, wearing his trousers and a dress shirt. He stood in front of the mirror to knot his tie, and she got distracted with watching him and thinking how incredibly attractive he was and how she really couldn’t believe he was hers.
“What?” he asked, slanting her a quick look in the mirror without turning his head.
“Nothing. Just you’re looking particularly fine this evening.”
“You think so?”
“Oh yeah.”
He leaned over to kiss her lightly on the side of her mouth. “That’s always nice to hear.”
“I’ll look pretty good too if I can ever finish getting dressed.”
“You already look pretty good.” His eyes ran up and down her body. “I’d have no complaints if you just stopped there.”
She giggled at the lilt in his tone. “I’m not sure how far I’d get in just my underwear.”
“I can tell you right now you wouldn’t get farther than the door. I’d be dragging you into bed before you could get to the car.”
Laughing, she swiped on some lip gloss—giving up on the i
dea of real lipstick—and decided she was made up enough.
“You’re laughing like I was making a joke,” Timothy said, fixing his collar over his tie.
“I know a joke when I hear one. You’re far too nice a guy to drag me—or anyone else—anywhere.”
“I could drag if I had good reason.”
She turned to face him, her lips wobbling irrepressibly. “You really think you’re a dragger?”
He took a step closer her. “I could be a dragger if I wanted.”
“Uh huh.”
“Do you want me to drag you into bed right now just to prove it?” he asked, a thick edge to his voice.
She felt a little shiver of pleasure, but she shook her head. “No. We’d be even later than we are right now, and my hair and makeup would never recover.”
His face relaxed as he chuckled, and he pulled her into a light hug.
She hugged him back, her arms tightening as it hit her how much she loved him, how long she’d lived without him, how she never wanted to live without him again.
“You okay?” he murmured as he pulled away, scanning her face as if to search for what she was feeling.
She nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Just love you a lot.”
Something strange happened on his face. She wasn’t sure how to describe it. It was like he was pushed in a direction and then pulled himself back. The whole thing happened in a flicker of a moment, so she wasn’t able to really follow the shift.
“What is it?” she asked.
He let out a soft huff and shook his head. “Nothing. Just I love you too.”
“Good. You better.”
“I do.”
She was about to ask him again, but he said, “You better get dressed or we’ll be late.”
He was right, so she didn’t argue. She went to get her dress from the bedroom and pulled it on.
She wasn’t living with Timothy and Jenny yet, but she might as well have been. She slept here almost every night, and she had as much of her stuff here as she did at her apartment. Occasionally, she’d wondered why Timothy hadn’t asked her to move in, but she didn’t want to rush it.
She wasn’t the one who’d lost a wife. She didn’t get to push him into her own timeline.
She was very happy. Happier than she’d ever thought she could be.
She didn’t have to have everything. At least, not right away.
***
They managed to make their reservation on time, and then they walked across the street to the theater. The play was well-done and enjoyable, but at intermission Timothy checked his phone and saw that his mother had texted him to let him know that Jenny had a little fever.
It wasn’t much, and she’d said they shouldn’t cut their evening short, but Madison saw Timothy’s face as he read the text and she immediately suggested that they just go home.
“We don’t have to,” Timothy said. “It sounds like it isn’t serious.”
Madison shook her head. “We’re not going to enjoy the play now anyway, thinking about Jenny. Let’s just go home.”
“I wanted to give you a night out. You still work too hard. You think I don’t see it, but I do.”
Her father was back in the office now, but he still couldn’t cover everything he’d done before. Madison’s job was still more than she could easily handle, although it was certainly better than it had been before.
“I’m doing fine, Timothy,” she said softly, taking a step closer since they were in a busy lobby and the conversation felt intimate. “I’ve had most of a night out. I don’t need the whole thing.”
“But I want you to have everything. I want you to always feel good.”
He meant it. He was utterly sincere. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice.
Her eyes burned slightly with emotion as she reached out to hold on to the lapels of his suit coat. “I have more than I ever dreamed of, Timothy. You and Jenny do make me feel good. Let’s go home to her.”
He nodded, his face twisting briefly with a matching emotion. Then he took her hand, and they left the theater, heading to where they’d parked the car.
When they got home, Timothy’s mother was worried that they’d cut their evening short. “I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I thought I better. She’s asleep now. I think she’ll be fine. She’s just usually not sick, so I—”
“Please don’t worry, Mom,” Timothy said, giving his mother a half hug. “I’m glad you let us know. We’re going to just look in on her.”
Jenny was still sleeping when they went into her room, and when Madison felt her forehead, she was relieved that it was only a little bit warm.
She couldn’t be too sick. It was probably just a little virus or something. Jenny didn’t even stir as Timothy straightened her covers, and then they left the room.
After thanking and saying good night to his mother, Timothy walked her to her car, and when he returned, he collapsed onto the sofa, looking suddenly exhausted.
Madison slipped off her shoes and leaned against him, sighing when he wrapped an arm around her.
“She’s fine, Timothy,” Madison said since she knew what he was thinking.
“I know.”
“She’ll probably be feeling fine tomorrow morning.”
“Hopefully.”
She looked up at him for a moment and then stretched up to kiss his jaw.
“Sorry about this evening,” he said.
“Don’t start that again. I like being home with you even more than going out with you most of the time.”
“Yeah?” His eyes were soft and warm.
“Yeah.”
“In that case…”
She frowned. “What?”
“Maybe you’d like to marry me.”
She jerked dramatically. “What?”
“I think you heard me.”
“What?”
“Are we doing the “what” thing again?”
“Yes, we’re doing the what thing! You’re asking me to marry you? Like this? Do you even mean it?”
His face sobered, and he reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, pulling out a little velvet pouch.
She stared at it, stunned speechless.
“It’s not a random thing,” he explained, pulling a diamond ring out of the pouch. “I’ve been planning it for weeks now. I was going to ask you tonight—when we were out. I wanted to… to do a big thing, to make you feel special. But then…” He shrugged. “I can wait and do it later if you want me to. I meant what I said when I said I wanted you to have everything.”
Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. There was no way she could hold them back. “You want me to marry you?”
He reached for her left hand. “I love you so much, Madison. More than I ever thought I was capable of after Emily died. I don’t know how it happened. I wasn’t looking for it. But you’ve become… you’ve become my heart. You and Jenny. I want us to be a family for real. I want to be able to love and live with you forever. I want everything for you. And I want to have everything too. I want to have everything with you.” He paused, his hand shaking just a little. “If you’ll have me.”
With a little sob, she threw herself into his arms. “Yes, I’ll have you. You don’t think I’m ever going to let you go now, do you?”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I hope not.”
They kissed and hugged and generally acted sappy until he finally managed to get the ring on her finger. Then they sat together for a long time on the couch, staring at it in a happy daze.
After a long time, following the rambling line of her thoughts, she began, “When you asked me to drive to the wedding with you…”
Timothy turned to look at her questioningly.
“Did you mean that to be a real date?”
His mouth twisted, and he didn’t answer.
She nudged him. “Tell me.”
“Y-yeah,” he said with a long exhale. “I wanted it to be. I was getting desperate since non
e of my overtures were being responded to.”
“I didn’t know they were overtures.”
“I know that now. But I didn’t then. I kept telling myself to just give up since you obviously didn’t want me as anything but a friend, but I couldn’t think of anyone but you. I couldn’t want anyone but you. So I told myself to try one more time at the wedding and then… then I’d have to give up.”
She was trying not to giggle but not doing a good job of it.
“Go ahead and laugh at me,” he said.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at us. I was just as clueless as you were. But my question is this. If you wanted it to be a date, why did you ask for us to carpool?” She said the last word with a lingering trace of bitterness.
He wrapped both arms around her, his body shaking with amusement. “Because I’m an idiot. I got scared and trapped in the conversation, and I just… panicked.”
She hugged him back, laughing helplessly. “I was just looking for a good time at the wedding.”
“I know you were. With Kevin.” He still scowled every time he said the name.
She gave him a little kiss. “But instead of a good time, I had all my dreams come true. I found my prince and my happily-ever-after.”
“Me too,” he said, burying his face in her loose hair. “Me too.”
***
If you enjoyed this story, be sure to check out the first two books in the One Fairy Tale Wedding series, Unguarded, about Charlie and Simon, and Untouched, about Hannah and Bruce. You can also find an excerpt from my next book, Living with Her One-Night Stand, on the following pages.
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Excerpt from Living with Her One-Night Stand
Before Jill walked into the bar, she stood for a moment, finishing her tea and summoning up her nerve.
She wasn’t good at dating. She wasn’t good with men. She liked people in general, but when it came to romance, she became all stiff and awkward. She’d kind of fallen into the relationship with Ted during her senior year of college. She’d hoped something similar might happen to her again, but it hadn’t.