by V. E. Lemp
It took all of Karen’s willpower not to drop her gaze. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“Really?” A sardonic smile curled his lips. “When we’re in the same room you plaster yourself against any available person. That’s not avoidance?”
“You’re imagining things.” Karen stood and took a few steps toward the path that led to the house.
Alex casually rose and walked around her. He stood between her and the path. “So, speaking of art, I understand your career has taken off quite spectacularly. Lots of shows and commissions. That’s impressive, kiddo.”
Karen took two steps back. “Thanks.”
“And Myron says you only teach a few courses and spend the majority of your time painting.”
“Yes, I work at home most of the time.”
Alex surveyed her. Although his arms hung loosely at his sides, his fingers were clenched into fists. “That’s right, you moved into Mark’s house, didn’t you? So you set up a studio there?”
“Yes. In an old garage apartment. Mark and I renovated it right after we married.”
Alex moved toward her. “I’m aware you’re married. You needn’t keep reminding me.”
“Judging by your actions I thought the fact had slipped your mind.” Karen scanned the area, wondering if she could slide past Alex to reach the path to the house.
“Trust me, it did not.” Alex encircled her right wrist with his hand. His grip was implacable despite the fine-boned elegance of his fingers. “Actually, I was a bit disturbed by how quickly you married after you discovered I was not, in fact, dead.”
Karen stood very still. Struggling against his hold was not the best method to ensure her release. “That had nothing to do with it. I didn’t marry Mark as some afterthought, you know. He isn’t a consolation prize.”
“Of course not.” Alex took hold of her other wrist and pulled her closer. “I’d never think you’d be dishonest in your romantic dealings. I’m sure your love for Mark was sufficient for marriage.”
“What do you mean by that?” Karen looked up into Alex’s eyes. The intensity of his gaze was unnerving. “I love him. That’s all you need to know.”
“How charming. The marriage of true minds, I suppose.”
“This is ridiculous. What do you think you’re going to accomplish?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Alex slid his hands up her arms to grip her by the shoulders. “I thought we could sweep away all the nonsense and be honest with each other, for one thing.”
“Honest? Now there’s an interesting concept. As honest as you always were with me?”
A bitter smile twisted Alex’s lips. “Which you never intend to let me forget, do you?”
“No. I don’t think you should.”
He examined her with great care. “How fierce you’ve become. So strong, so passionate. It does your cause no good, you know.”
Karen stared into his perfectly sculpted face. “What cause is that?”
“Your attempt to reduce me to, how shall I put it? Some old friend you once knew. The former lover you think of fondly but rarely. Just another person who once passed through your life.” Alex tightened his grip on her shoulders. “Someone you meet up with once or twice a year to share a drink and a little chat. That’s what you want us to become, don’t you?”
A spark of anxiety flared in Karen’s chest. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. Your actions betray you. But I’m afraid I really can’t allow that to happen.”
Flames of anger burnt out Karen’s fear. “You can’t allow? I don’t believe you have any right to make that decision.”
Alex pulled Karen to him, wrapping his arms tightly about her. “So I’ve no rights where you’re concerned? You, whose heart and mind are so entwined with mine. You, who know me better than any being on this earth, or anywhere else, for that matter. You, who I’ve loved for all this time. And still love. And believe me, my love is not some puny thing tethered by earthly ceremonies or pieces of paper signed by a judge. What do I care for that, with all I’ve seen and learned and experienced over these past years? It’s all nonsense, you know.” He buried his face in her hair.
Karen forced herself to remain completely motionless. “It isn’t nonsense to me.”
Alex pulled her close, and she let out an involuntary gasp. “Don’t fight me,” he whispered in her ear. “You and I are meant to be together, whatever the cost. I realized I could no longer resist when I saw you that last time before my return. I understood then, seeing who you’d become, seeing you as you really are, I needed you more than all my other dreams or desires. Oh, Karen”—he slid one hand down her back to her waist—“are you really going to be fettered by these foolish human rules? What would it matter if we scorched the earth to be together? I’ve no wish to harm anyone, Mark Hallam least of all, but you can’t escape the truth. You must return to me, eventually.” He lifted his head from her shoulder.
Karen stared him straight in the face. Those unforgettable blue eyes were brighter than she’d ever seen them. “Funny, that’s what Ian Vance said to me, the last time we met.” Her voice was perfectly calm. “I told him no as well.”
Alex pushed her away, gripping her shoulders and holding her at arm’s length. “I never knew you to be cruel.”
“Nor you. But it seems we’re both capable of it. And now—I think you should release me.”
“No, I don’t think I shall.” He examined her as carefully as if she were some alien artifact. “Looking in your eyes I can tell you haven’t changed entirely. I don’t believe you’ve lost all feeling for me.”
“I haven’t,” Karen said, keeping her gaze locked with his. “But I can’t give you what you think you want.”
“What I think I want? I believe I know my own mind. I certainly know my own desires.” He leaned in to kiss her.
“Well, I’m afraid you’re doomed to disappointment.” She turned her head so his lips landed on her cheek.
He frowned. “Because of Mark?”
“Yes, because of Mark, and because, honestly, I don’t trust you.”
Alex searched her face. “You should, you know. I’d never do anything to harm you.”
“Really? You’ve hurt me before.”
“I was younger then. And preoccupied with my own obsessions.”
“And you aren’t now? What do you call this except an obsession?”
“I rather thought it was love,” Alex said, tracing the contours of her face with his fingers. “For my part.”
“If you love me,” Karen said, trying and failing to still her trembling under his caress, “you must not pursue me like this.”
“Your words are belied by your body, my sweet.” Alex leaned down and kissed her, quite deliberately, on the mouth.
Time slipped away under those familiar, well-remembered lips. Karen sighed and allowed Alex to kiss her as he once had, so many times, so many years before. It would be easy to give in, to throw everything to the winds and fall back into the fierce gravitational pull of his personality, his beauty, his body. But Karen came back to herself and threw up her arms, catching him off guard. Her elbows hit him in the ribs and forced him backward.
“What the hell!” Alex released his hold and stumbled back, staring at Karen with an expression in which anger and confusion vied for dominance.
“You win.” Karen wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She faced him down, her feet solidly planted on the ground. “I still have feelings for you. And, obviously, I still physically desire you. I’ll admit that. It’s true.”
“So?” He stepped forward, but she held up her hand to halt his approach.
“But that’s just me and my feelings. And I’m more than my feelings, much more than my desires. I’ve a mind and a spirit and a will, and I value them as highly as my emotions. I know what’s right, what’s best, not just for me but also for others. And this isn’t right. It isn’t anything good. I may want you, I may even wish to say yes to ev
erything you ask, but I will not.” She refused to drop her eyes under his fierce gaze. “I will not.”
“Someday,” Alex said, his voice vibrating with a force that almost shattered her resolve, “you will say yes.”
“No, I will not.”
Alex regarded her silently for some minutes. “We shall see.” His voice had regained its customary lightness. “Eventually, we’ll see whose will is stronger.”
He turned and left the clearing without another word.
Karen took a few deep breaths and walked to the log, picking up her sketchbook. She stared at it for a moment, until her knees buckled and she slid to ground. She buried her face in her hands and cried for some time before brushing back her hair with one hand and climbing awkwardly to her feet. Sitting back on the log, she retrieved her sketchbook from the ground. She took great care to open the pad to the proper page, pulled the pencil from her pocket, and methodically resumed her work on her drawing, pausing only to wipe tears from her eyes.
FOURTEEN
Kate yowled before Mark even opened the front door. Karen and Mark stepped into the house, encountering the cat’s angry glare. She stared at them for a moment before turning and stalking away, her feathery tail held high.
“See, I told you she’d be pissed,” Karen said, as they carried their suitcases into the bedroom. “She probably won’t come near us for days.”
“No, just until tonight. She’ll give in when it’s time to sleep.” Mark dropped the luggage on the bed. “She can’t resist a good snuggle.”
“Her need for affection will overcome her indignation?” Karen popped open her suitcase and stared at the jumble of clothes. “Must do laundry, much as I hate the thought.”
“I’ll help, but let’s leave that for later. Come and sit with me. I want to talk to you for a minute.” Mark headed for the living room.
Karen followed slowly. Their return flight had been uneventful, although the airport televisions had blared a constant stream of news about the flu epidemic in Dulce. Karen fought her desire to shout the truth of the situation at everyone passing by. At one point she’d felt Mark’s hand on her arm and realized she’d been absently kicking her suitcase.
Mark settled on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “Come.” His expression was serious enough to make Karen hesitate before sitting down.
“So, what’s up?”
“You’ve been very quiet the last few days. Everything okay?”
“Of course.” Karen looked at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. She was wearing a large bangle to cover a mysterious bruise. She supposed Alex’s fingers had left the mark, although she didn’t remember him gripping her quite that hard. “I mean, things have been so crazy recently. I guess I’m just experiencing a delayed reaction.”
“I’m sure, and I don’t want to add to your stress, but you know Claire, Amy, and Mom are coming for dinner this Saturday. I thought we should invite Sam too. He’s bunking with a friend in D.C., but I’m sure he’d enjoy meeting a few other people in the area. And, to tell you the truth, I’d like to talk to him some more.”
“I’m sure you would. What about Thea and Aaron? Sam should probably meet them as well. They’re essential to our little resistance.”
Mark reached out and covered Karen’s hands. “Yes. But it’ll be a lot of people.”
“Oh, I don’t mind, as long as no one expects a perfectly clean house. Anyway, Thea will help, if I ask.”
“Let’s arrange that then.” Mark glanced at the opposite side of the room, where a few of Karen’s paintings hung on the sage-green walls. “And I thought we should invite Alex, if you don’t object.”
“Alex? Oh, I don’t know.” Karen shifted her position on the sofa.
Mark looked down at her. “He sent me a message today. He’s had some more communications involving Jasper James. He seems eager to discuss the possibilities of getting James on our side.”
“But Alex here with your sister and mom? And Amy?” Karen frowned. “Is that wise?”
Mark stroked her hands. “It’ll raise fewer red flags if the family’s here. If we just ask Sam and Alex to a meeting, that might look more suspicious. If Alex drops in when Sam happens to be here for a family gathering, it’s less obvious.”
Karen’s hands relaxed under the caress of Mark’s fingers. “I suppose. Not sure I like using your family that way, but they’re your family.” She sighed. “Oh, dear. Thea and Alex in the same room might be a mistake. But I suppose it’s bound to happen eventually.” She sat forward, perching on the edge of the sofa. “I think I’ll go start the laundry now, if that’s all settled.”
“One more thing.” Mark pulled her back. “You should know I’m not prepared to do the noble thing.”
Karen gazed up into his dark eyes. “What do you mean?”
Mark ran his fingers along the curve of her jaw. “I’m not going to step aside, my love, and allow Alex to take you away from me.”
Karen stared at him, trying to think of something to say.
“I know he wants you back. It’s fairly obvious, especially when he looks at you that way.”
“What way?” She ducked her head.
“Like he’s been lost at sea for years and just sighted land.” Mark’s fingers closed about Karen’s chin. He gently lifted her head, forcing her to look at him. “But I don’t care what he wants, or even how much you might desire to give it to him. He isn’t good for you. He isn’t the one who can make you happy. I am.”
“Well,” Karen said, after a moment, “I see your self-confidence remains intact.”
The corners of Mark’s mouth twitched. “It isn’t just self-confidence. It’s based on more than that.”
“Really, and what might that be?” Karen jerked her chin from Mark’s fingers and sat up without taking her gaze off his face.
“First and foremost, I love you. Now, you could say Alex loves you too. And I suppose he does, in his way. But I’m convinced he’s not what’s best for you.”
Karen felt a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “And you are?”
“Of course I am.” Mark leaned in and kissed her. After several minutes, he asked, “What do you think?”
“I think you’re very silly to worry. Me leave you for Alex? Think again. You’re not getting off that easy. You married me, remember? You can’t just palm me off on the first gorgeous and charming man who happens along.”
Mark’s eyebrows rose above the frames of his glasses. “Gorgeous and charming?”
“Yes, he is. And no, despite all that, I’m not running off with him. You’re stuck with me, Mark Hallam, like it or not.”
“Oh, I like it,” Mark said, pulling her close. “I like it just fine.” He kissed her again.
Karen returned his kiss with enthusiasm, only pausing to tell him what an idiot he was to imagine she’d ever leave him.
“I think we should let the laundry wait until tomorrow,” Mark said. “What about you?”
“I think our suitcases are all over our bed,” Karen replied breathlessly.
“And I think”—Mark slid to the floor and pulled her down beside him—“beds are highly overrated.”
“When’s Alex supposed to show?” Thea was wearing a white apron wrapped around her daffodil-yellow sundress and a white scarf tied turban-fashion about her dark hair. She looked like a professional chef as she deftly stirred some couscous into a hot pot of vegetables.
“Any time now, I suppose.” Karen paused in chopping peppers for a salad to push back the hair that clung damply to her forehead. “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”
“Just you. Maybe you’re having a hot flash.” Thea looked over her shoulder at Karen and grinned.
“Hah, hah. I may be getting older, but I haven’t reached that juncture yet.” She scraped the peppers into a mixture of salad greens. “So what do you think of Sam?”
“He seems nice enough.” Thea dumped the couscous mixture into a casserole dish.
�
��I’m surprised he hasn’t fallen victim to your charms. Or maybe he has, and I just haven’t noticed?” Karen tossed the salad with some vinaigrette dressing. “Guess it’s good you dropped the kids off with your parents. They’d probably turn their noses up at our menu. I hope no one else minds we’re going mostly vegetarian. Alex doesn’t eat meat anymore, you know.”
“Yes, you said. More than once.” Thea turned and leaned back against the soapstone counter. “And for your information, Sam Lester appears to have eyes for someone else. But you probably didn’t notice. You’re not too clever in that area, you must admit.”
“So I’ve been told.” Karen contemplated the array of food spread across the kitchen island. “I hope this is enough.”
“It’s plenty. And really, didn’t you notice Sam’s obvious interest in your sister-in-law?”
Karen met Thea’s amused gaze. “Claire? What makes you say that?”
“The way he keeps inching closer and hangs on every word she says. And I think he’s asked her about the status of Mr. Ledford at least twice so far.”
“He does like to be sure of his facts,” Karen said with a smile. “Well, that’s interesting.”
“What’s interesting?” Mark asked as he strolled into the room carrying an empty tray. “They devoured the appetizers, by the way. Hope you didn’t want any.”
“We nicked some before you carried them out.” Thea took the tray from Mark’s hands and placed it on the counter. “I haven’t gotten a proper welcome today. You’re slipping.”
“Forgive me, Thea.” Mark gave her a hug. “How could I forget?”
“You’d better not,” she said with a grin. “You know I’m next in line if Karen ever kicks you to the curb.”
“Hey, wait a minute.” Karen walked over to her husband. “What about Aaron?”
“Oh, I can handle them both,” Thea said airily, picking up the salad bowl and tongs and heading for the dining room.
“I don’t doubt it.” Karen shared a smile with Mark. “Take that casserole in, would you, dear? Careful, it’s still hot.”
“So I see.” Mark quickly pulled his hands away from the dish and grabbed a pair of oven mitts. “Be right back to help with the rest.”