by Michael Bray
“SNIFFERBLOBS! YOU HAVE SNIFFERBLOBS IN HERE!” He screamed, taking two quick steps towards the table and tipping it aside, sending its contents spilling across the kitchen. Billy couldn’t move. He was frozen in place as the man strode towards him and grabbed him by the shirt, leaning close.
“You brought Snifferblobs in here! I knew you had squeakers!” He hissed, his disgusting breath almost making Billy retch.
His mind screamed at him to do something, to say something, but he couldn’t move, or react. He could only stare wide-eyed into this deranged man’s eyes and wait for death. The small of his back was sweaty where the handle of the gun pressed against it, but Billy was too afraid to reach for it.
“Make mine silly, won’t you? I'll show you and those squeakers. I’ll show you all!” He cackled as he released his grip on Billy and reached down to his tool belt, unhooking the pipe wrench.
“You can’t keep them. Good pets they don’t make. Don’t you see they keep breeding?”
There was an almost pleading tone to the man’s voice as he hit the business end of the wrench against his grubby, open palm.
“I’ll show you, I’ll show you all!” He cackled as he released his grip on Billy.
“I’ll show you, I’ll show you all!”
“Hey!” Alex said confidently.
The man didn’t immediately turn towards Alex, but locked eyes with Billy and smiled secretively, as if the two were in league against Squeakers, Snifferblobs and whatever else was troubling the deranged man. He slowly turned towards where Alex stood at the entrance to the basement, then smiled at him, speaking in a whisper.
“I could smell you, squeaking Snifferblob. I could smell you bad. Ha!”
Billy was watching, and although he couldn’t be sure due to the poor light, he thought he could finally see fear on his friend's face.
“Look pal, I don’t want any trouble here. Leave now, and we don’t have to take this any further.” Alex said, holding his hands out palms up and trying to sound confident, the register of his voice was a little too high.
“Don’t think you can fool me, Snifferblob. Remember what you did to my daddy and his good egg nest?” The man shrieked, fidgeting from foot to foot as he took a cautious step towards Alex.
“Look pal, I have no idea about any of that. My friend here would like you to leave. I do too.”
The man from Trans Energy turned towards Billy, his face betrayed and hurt. He resembled a spoiled child who had just been told ‘no’ for the first time.
“He wouldn’t say that we are going to fix the genny and get rid of you squeaker pests. Tell him it’s not true!” He barked at Billy, who couldn’t answer. He was too afraid to do anything but watch.
“Hey!” Alex said, growing more confident. The man turned back towards him. He was close to tears, his bottom lip trembling as he glared at Alex.
“We were going to kill the squeakers, you damn Snifferblobs always get in the way.” He whined, sounding more and more like a child than a giant of a man wielding a pipe wrench. Billy could sense a definite shift in the balance of power, and it seemed Alex was now in control.
“Look this has obviously been some kind of a mistake. There are no squeakers or… anything else here. You made a mistake.”
“No.” The man said, shaking his head.
“Last chance. If you don’t get out of here now, I’ll be forced to make you leave.”
“Sniffers can’t fly. Every mother knows that eh?”
“Take it easy. Calm down and put down the wrench.”
“No, I won’t do that.”
“Come on, we are all friends here, right?”
The man hesitated, licking his lips as he flicked his gaze from Alex to Billy.
“I... I guess so, yeah. Why not?”
“Okay, that’s good. This is a bad time. No visitors today.”
“He called. He called the number for a fix.” The man said, pointing at Billy.
“He obviously made a mistake.” Alex locked eyes with Billy beyond the man, then turned his attention back to him.
“Let’s call it a night. You have earned a day off work, right?”
“Well, I could use a break...” the man mumbled, scratching at his greasy, matted hair. “I haven’t been sleeping much lately.”
“Then just go home. We can manage fine enough here.”
The man hesitated, and chewed on a filthy fingernail as he tried to decide what to do.
“You Snifferblobs would tell me anything. Devious, devious creatures. Not like us, not like us.”
“Just leave. Go home, get some rest.” Alex said, trying to soothe and coax the man. “Put the wrench down, and leave.”
“I made a mess now.” The man mumbled, glancing towards the table, which was on its side by the sink.
“That’s okay, we'll take care of it,” Alex said, taking a cautious step forward.
“You promise me you aren’t lying Snifferblob? Swear on your whore mother?” The man said, narrowing his eyes.
“I swear, I’m not lying. I don’t want any trouble.”
Billy watched the man deflate as his arms fell to his sides.
“I’m sorry.” He said, half turning towards Billy. “This Snifferblob of yours has the devils tongue!”
Billy saw it coming, but couldn’t react in time. The man from Trans Energy whirled around and swung the wrench towards Alex. Only his fighter’s training gave him the reaction speed enough to throw a defensive arm up towards his face, but bone was never going to beat steel, and Alex’s forearm shattered with a sickening crack. He roared in pain, staggering into the kitchen counter and sending plates and dishes crashing to the floor. The man took another step forward, closing in on Alex and leaving him nowhere to run. For all the confidence and bravado, he never stood a chance.
With his shattered arm hanging limply at his side, there was nothing he could do.
“Billy, help me!” He screamed, realising too late the danger he was in.
Come on legs, push up out of this chair.
Yep, in a minute chief.
Come on arms. Grapple this guy before he attacks your friend.
Right away boss. Just as soon as I get my head around all the crazy shit that is happening here.
He wanted to help, he really did, but his body seemed to be in protest because he could only sit there and stare open mouthed as the man went to work on his friend. Billy had once dropped a watermelon out of a bag when he was taking the shopping into the house, and the sound as the wrench connected with his friends head was similar a sloppy, wet crunch. He expected Alex to scream, but other than a dull grunt, he remained silent as his skull was destroyed by the man.
“Filthy lying Snifferblob! Eat my breakfast with no mouth now haha!” He gibbered and cackled as he brought the wrench down time and time again, streaking the walls with blood which looked black in the darkness. When he was finished he stood, his overalls spattered with claret, his hands and arms the same. The fringe of his black hair had covered his eyes, and as he slicked it back into place, he left a bloody smear on his forehead. Breathing hard, he turned towards Billy, smiling broadly, as if expecting praise for his actions.
“You have to watch those Snifferblobs.” He said, pointing the bloody wrench at Billy for emphasis. “Lies are all they know. Can you smell it?”
Billy could only smell his own sweat and the coppery undercurrent of fresh blood. He was too afraid to argue, and so he nodded.
“I thought he had you too. He would have eventually you know.” The man said, shrugging his shoulders.
He was perfectly calm, and as he walked towards Billy he left bloody footprints behind. He lifted the table back into an upright position and slid it roughly back into place.
“Good news about the repair.” He said as he grabbed the large box from the counter and set it on the table.
Billy was astounded by the way this man was calm, and the way he was acting as if nothing had happened, as he opened the lid to the box
and started to rummage inside.
“Some of these parts were expensive, but I’ll throw in killing the Snifferblob for free.” He said, tipping a wink at Billy.
“Wha… where is my wife?” He heard himself say from some faraway disjointed place. He still couldn’t take his eyes from the pulpy, shattered remains of his friend who was in the corner, one arm, the broken one, leaning against the wooden panelling of the counter at a nauseatingly unnatural angle.
The man didn’t answer, instead, he went on looking through the box.
“You should have known better than to move to an area like this. Did you know Sniffers are rampant here? All they do is eat and fuck and breed.” He shook his head in disgust. “Awful things. You should think about moving if you don’t mind my say so sir.”
“Please… tell me my wife is okay.”
He paused, narrowed his eyes and looked at Billy.
“She isn’t a Snifferblob is she?” He asked, putting a bloody hand to the wrench in his belt, which was still matted with hair and clumpy flesh.
“No, no she isn’t.” Billy blurted. He swallowed with some effort and thought about the gun in his jeans.
“That’s good.” The man said, returning to rummaging through the box. “Because if she was, it would change this entire dynamic we have here. And I think we are heading towards having a great friendship, don’t you?”
Billy nodded, doing whatever he could to keep the man happy. He didn’t like the way the conversation was heading, however and decided to try and steer it in a different direction.
“So, what’s in the box?” He asked.
“Ah!” The man said, clapping his bloody hands together. “I’ll show you. These are the parts I need to fix the generator.”
He set out the items on the table, and Billy found he wasn’t nearly as shocked as he would have expected. Afraid, yes, but not shocked.
The first item was what looked to be two rusty old cans taped together with an antennae of sorts made from a short branch. Next was a square of long grass complete with earth. The next item was the head of a deer. It appeared to have been roughly severed, and it made a wet sound when it was set on the table. An hour ago, such a thing would have caused revulsion. Billy barely gave it a second glance.
“Oh!” The man added, flashing a sick grin. “I got you something to help with your infestation problem.”
“Infestation?”
“You know, the Snifferblobs.” He whispered, jabbing a thumb towards Alex’s corpse. “This will keep them away. Just put it out in front of your door before you go to bed and they won’t come in.”
He lifted the object out of the box with two hands and set it on the table, and this time, Billy did react, pushing himself away from it.
It was a human head. One which, as he looked more closely at it, realised he recognised. It belonged to their neighbour, Conwell, he with the red barn from down the road. His lower jaw was missing, and sturdy branches jammed into each hollow eye socket. Around the head, was an elaborate cage made of more branches and tied with string, which in turn connected to the branches jammed into the eye sockets of Billy’s neighbour. Conwell's tongue had been nailed horizontally to the front of the makeshift cage, and bizarre markings, which could have been words, had been carved into it.
Billy’s stomach flipped and threatened to eject its contents as the man from Trans Energy stood proudly by his creation.
“I hope you like it. It’s not as detailed as I would have liked, but I wanted to finish it before dark. Everyone knows Snifferblobs are most active at night.” He said with a shrug.
“Get it away from me!” Billy blurted, unable to tear his eyes away from the awful contraption.
“Why? What’s wrong with it?” The Trans Energy man asked, sounding genuinely hurt.
“Just get it away, get it out of here!”
The man’s bottom lip began to tremble, and he glared at Billy.
“Don’t tell me you're one of those Snifferblob sympathisers?” He said, shaking his head putting a hand on the bloody wrench. “Don’t make me tell my mother on you. You remember what she did last time!”
“What have you done with my wife?” The ferocity in which the words came even startled himself and the man took a step back.
“You are one of them, aren’t you? You and the Squeaker of a wife, spawning little Snifferblobs.” The man grabbed his head, fighting whatever inner conflict was going on in there.
Now he had recovered from the initial shock of what had been happening, Billy noticed just how dark it had become, and how the night had almost completely taken his house. He also realised he had to act, to do something. This man was obviously more than just disturbed. He had already killed two people, and probably more than that. Billy had never committed a crime, nor had he ever been arrested. He knew if he were to survive, he would have to kill this twisted man who had invaded his home.
The man was walking slowly towards him, his expression one of rage, betrayal and disgust rolled into one.
“All of you are the same, all of you hiding the Squeakers, the Sniffers. I bet you even mix with the Lungtangs and Cripodoops don’t you?”
Billy’s inner voice screamed at him to move, to use his knowledge of the layout of his home to his advantage, which could only be further assisted by the lack of light. He only hoped when he made his move, his legs would comply. His first task was to get past the hulking man who was now walking towards him.
“I should have known. You people are always the same.”
He swept his arm across the table, sending its contents spilling onto the floor. Mr. Conwell’s head came to rest face down near the basement door. It was that event which triggered him into making his move. He launched towards the door, skirting past the giant man. Hoping for the element of surprise, he lurched towards the hallway. Just as he was sure he was going to make it, he slipped in the blood on the floor. He tried to right his balance, pitched forward and slammed his face into the granite counter, the corner catching him above the eyebrow. He went down hard, white flashes exploding in front of his eyes like a miniature fireworks display as he tried to regain his footing. He failed and fell to his knees, then rolled onto his side. The man from Trans Energy was smiling, and as Billy watched, he took the bloody wrench out of his belt.
“You are one of them aren’t you?” The man asked as he slowly approached.
Billy couldn’t answer, his brain was like mush, a thick soup which was taking too long to clear. He touched his forehead and when he looked at his fingers, they were coated in blood.
“I’m not what you think.” He mumbled, trying to compose his thoughts.
“You wouldn’t know if you were, mommy. He didn’t,” The man said, pointing the wrench at Alex’s corpse. “Not until I peeled him open and looked inside.”
“Please… don’t do this.”
“I need to see if you have a pure soul, and to do that, I need… to look… inside.” The man said, speaking slowly as if he were trying to convey some basic information to a child.
It was only then Billy remembered the gun. He reached around and pulled it out smoothly, aiming it at the man from Trans Energy, who stopped and smiled.
“I’ll use this, just back up!”
“No, you won’t.”
“I swear I’ll shoot you.”
I can see how your hand shakes. You won’t do it.” He said, taking two quick steps forward. Billy didn’t want to, that much was true. He had been left with no option. It was either kill or be killed, and he desperately wanted to live. The wrench wielding man was close, there was no way he could miss. He closed his eyes and squeezed the trigger.
Nothing happened.
Safety switch!
His inner monologue screamed at him to release it, but he knew there wouldn’t be time. He saw the flash of chrome as the wrench was swung towards him, catching him on his outstretched hand. Pain exploded through his wrist as the gun was launched down the hallway and into the darkness. Billy g
ritted his teeth and clutched his broken hand to his chest. He had never experienced the agony of a broken bone before, and with his wrist on fire, he stared helplessly up at the towering mass of flesh standing over him. He was grinning, his teeth barely visible in the darkness.
“I’m doing this to help you. I'll peel you open quick and get that parasite out of you. I promise mommy, I do.”
Billy was barely listening. All he could focus on was the wrench hanging limply in the man’s massive hand. He wondered how long it would take for the pain to stop, and hoped it would be soon. His wrist throbbed and pulsed like a rotten tooth in need of extraction, although despite it, he had somehow transcended beyond fear, beyond pain. He had reached a place of acceptance that his time was up. The Trans Energy man noticed it too because he widened his grin.
“Just relax, I’ll make it quick.” He said, and began to whistle that annoyingly repetitive tune. Billy tensed as the man reared back with the wrench.
With everything he could muster, Billy kicked out at the man’s knee. It hadn’t been pre-planned. In fact, there had been no thought about it at all. Something inside, perhaps some primal instinct to prolong life which lives within everyone, stirred and made his body react. Because Billy had no idea he was going to do it, his assailant didn’t see it coming either and wailed painfully as Billy’s boot connected solidly with the side of his kneecap. The blow would be enough to hurt anyone, but due to the immense size of his wrench wielding attacker, it was especially effective. As the knee Billy had kicked skidded from under him, the rest of his near four hundred pound frame, was for a moment, supported by just the one leg, which was both unprepared and ill-equipped to carry such a load. With a grunt, the man twisted and fell, crashing into the table, then onto the floor, his head hitting the wood hard enough to echo around the room. He let out a surprised grunt as the wrench skidded across the floor and came to rest by the blood streaked leg of Alex’s body. Billy, however, barely gave his dead friend a second glance, and had already staggered to his feet and was making his way down the hall, his eyes scanning the gloom for the gun. Behind him, he could hear the grunting of the man from Trans Energy as he got to his feet and hobbled in pursuit.