The Unwritten Rule

by Elizabeth Scott

  Should go back, I’m too close to the door, I’m so close I can extend my hand and touch it, squeeze your shirt and attract it, throw it at me, and he is looking into my mouth, I can see, I can feel it, and everything inside me is screaming his name, yelling for him. Brianna And then down the stairs. I do not see, hear her, and she clears her throat, and says. “Hey, you arrive early, and I turn to see her, I say. Peter-Not stupidly, blindly, and I see his eyes blinking at me. She looks beautiful and happy.

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  “I know, I recognize my own boyfriend,” she laughs, but fails in his eyes and looking at me strangely. At least I think so. I do not know, I can not say, guilt and panic are making a mess of me. Me. “Yeah, me, here I say it, even talking. Why I’m still talking? Ryan says: “Hi, Brianna, and I know that the collar should be boiling against my neck, but things like that only happen in fairy tales and instead just so touching, Brianna’s gaze away from me but then and left to Ryan. “So what, I forgive you for fade away during the school after having been all-we need to talk ? she says, walking toward him, and I have been walking in this way many times, looking perfect, that somehow seems to slip through the soil. The high face gently. Ready for a kiss. “Actually, I tried to find you,” says Ryan. But you were not in any of the sites I searched and found me … “Now,” says Brianna, and goes to kiss him, she is getting closer and closer. “I’ll … I’ll call my parents to come get me an” I say, Brianna said: “Just take my car. Ryan’ll let me in your home later. Much later. I hear his mother moving up, I see a mischievous smile to Brianna Ryan and making them move, her hand on his arm, and she gets it, of course it does. His smile, so full of promise, of them, is all I see when I start to walk away when I close the last gap between them. I hear the soft sound of a kiss, whispering voices, and I can love how it ends it and still be so scared of how sad she is going to be? How I can be so screwed up?

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  “Wait,” Brianna said. What bowling? Your great plan for tonight is bowling? Can not you see my shirt? “I thought …” Ryan clears his throat. I love bowling. Brianna murmurs. “You should. Wait, is this love? Brianna Is this love? I do not understand. But I know I have to get out of here. There is only one detail. Brianna I need the keys, and are right where she left them with her handbag on the bench next to the strange door. They’re right where she and Ryan are, and just when I decide that I slip away, wait for them to go, and then go back and get you in some way, she says, “Hey, Sarah. I turned and I see it. “I know you heard all that,” she says. And if I have to go bowling, I need people around me to make sure at least amuse me. So you come, “she points to the kitchen. Go call your parents. Ryan, my mom is here, so it is better to wait in your car. I wear shoes that will not be wasted by sitting in the den of the oh-so-adorable Antro bowling. “Oh,” says Ryan, and I look back quickly, so quickly, before going out again, causing my heart, my stupid, and treacherous heart beat yet. When he leaves, Brianna does not rise to his room, but is routed to the office of his mother. - What are you doing? “I say, but she is unresponsive. I sigh and call home.

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  TRANSLATED BY: elamela CORRECTED BY: Alice_vampire

  hile I’m calling my parents. I do not know what to do. Brianna wants me there with them tonight.

  And Ryan will break with her. How I can see that? Especially now that I know she loves him. I … There is even words for this. Lean my head against the wall while the phone rings my parents. Once, twice, and pressed me against the wall, strong, and if I could somehow get inside it.

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  “Hey,” I say with a trembling voice, when Dad answered the phone, “.Voy out to Brianna and Ryan, right? - What? “Dad said, sounding distracted. “I’m going to leave,” I say again, do not worry .and take me home, I have a driver. - Dad? I say after a moment, then he has not said anything, and is old, I know, but it is so old, not really, not an elderly grandfather, and if he was ill mother would not let him answer the phone. Although she usually responds because he is always expecting a call from a reply from a friend or a cooking contest. A cooking contest. As the Fabulous Family Cooking Contest. “Dad,” I say again. What happened? What’s happening? “Your mother is not. Do not get a call, “he says. - What? How do you know that? It was supposed to call all weekend. Jillian’s friend, your mother, who also won the Cozy Cakes, got a call and then called your mother, “Dad says. Apparently, the Fabulous Family decided to call all the finalists today to free people from having to wait on the phone all weekend. “Cutting costs, I hear Mom in the background, and his voice is very high, as it gets when it’s really annoying. The last time I heard the sound it was when a judge came to her after the Cooking Contest Plucked Chicken clucking and said he would have qualified if your dish has not been cooled before they had been able to prove it. It is cheaper to call across the world today and not have people working all weekend. And nice too, very nice for the finalists learn now instead of waiting … I hear a muffled sound, a cry, and Dad says, “Honey, no,” and then, “Sarah, I am taking your mother out for dinner and then to The Adams. We will be back in the morning.

  Dad has mom to The Adams, which is a super elegant and expensive hotel an hour away, exactly twice. Once in their fifteenth wedding anniversary, and then again last year after

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  the doctor told her that her arthritis was only going to get worse and mom was so sad that he left to cook for a while. - I can talk to her? “I say, no more silence, then a low murmur, and then mom on the phone, her voice quiet and tearful. -Sarah, I’m fine. Your father just being polite. I really do not need, stop talking and makes that horrible sound that people make when trying not to mourn, a cry which is a kind of rattle in his throat. No need to be in this contest or any other kitchen. It’s just something I do for fun, that’s all, but I think I left … It makes the noise again. “Mom, I’m sorry,” I say. Want to come home? “No,” he says. No need to see your mother mourn for not entering a cooking contest. I am ashamed of what I’m doing, but I “his voice lowers to a whisper sadly. I really wanted to happen. I thought it would. I thought I did everything right. “You did. You did it fully, and if they can see how great you are, then, that sucked. “You should not say things like” Mom says, but his voice is the mother autopilot. No seriously, I say: Even if they are true? “And sighs. “I just want to know what I did wrong. I was so sure he would. There should be … it was stupid to think that would be chosen. “No, it was not, say, and listen to dad in the background, also says the same thing. “Okay,” says Mom, her voice is calm as it now sounds sad. Not stupid, then. Just a reminder do not always get everything you want. Flashing once strong, while a shiver shakes me my column, because he is right and I know. I know, and that scares me. I know what I want too. What will happen because of that?

  - Are you sure you do not want to come home? “I say, clearing my throat and mom says,” No, but your father and I will be returning home after dinner at The Adams, so …

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  “No, we will,” says Pope, taking the phone back. Your mother needs to relax and that’s what you will. Call if you need anything, but we’ll be home early tomorrow afternoon. Brianna hang back just as the kitchen. - Ready? She says, and seat. I hope you ask me what my parents said, or how they are. Usually want to know that. “Great, we already then, he says, and do not ask my parents at all. - Are you okay? “I say, and then listen to his mother down the stairs. I can smell her perfume, which is all the flowers, sweet, charming
and relaxing, but every time I get a whiff of it just want to run. Brianna says nothing, just take my hand and rushed outside. Squeeze your fingers once, gently, to let you know I’m here, and I pressed back, just let it go and says, “You drive, right? -Keeping your keys to me. “You Want to go with me? What about Ryan? “We will continue,” he says, and gets into the car. And so we left, she and I together, with Ryan behind us. Brianna says no word on the way to the bowling alley and I … well, for once I feel split in two. I am a fair person and that person is now very confused. And very scared.

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  TRANSLATED BY: + DaRkGiRl + CORRECTED BY: Alice_vampire

  No bowling. Brianna is a strange mix of boring and hysterical, talking about when Ryan tries to say something and then sighed when he’s street, shooting glances that say “you can believe it.” I smiled back tentatively, and she says: “Well, let’s refresh ourselves, and hold my hand, crawling toward the bar.

  “I can not believe I brought here,” he says after taking our drinks. “Nearly two months and this is all? I know we had our most

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  first date here, but still. Not even think he knows how upset I am and oh, of course, should have known this would happen. I follow his gaze, I see that Greg and a number of people at the school have arrived. All are turned towards us. - Bowling, uh? -Greg tells Brianna. What are the chances? “Stalker” she says, but she is smiling, and I realize what she was doing when I called my parents. She called Greg. She asked him to find. And I just did not realize. I follow him blindly and I see her, my best friend, sitting next to Greg, pushing when rubbed his knee, but gently, teasing and then understand why this is happening. Brianna wants Ryan is exactly where she wants and elsewhere. She wants her, and she wants him to love her just as she said. But she does not love him. She does not love at all. She does not trust in love, he flees, he leaves behind. All boys who are really concerned about it, have been left behind and I know. I’ve seen. Brianna wants people who are supposed to love the look with their hearts, and their parents to look and think only of themselves. This is what she knows, and nothing else, all he knows, deep and can be real, it falls into a category that she does not like. One category is terrified. But then where does that leave me? The sister says she never had, but that I am, your best friend who has always been on his side. She says she loves me. Did you really say? “Brianna,” I say. - What? “She says, sounding distracted. - Can we talk a sec?

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  “Sure,” she says, laughing when Greg winks, and then gets up and Cuza her arm through mine, bringing me to his side. What? “You-you-not you and Ryan - Ryan and me? “He says, know that we are not talking now, but I need to give some space. He is well. “No,” I say. Not true, not why. Not you, Brianna, you do not love him. “Of course,” she says, but his smile falters a bit. “Not everyone is going to leave you,” I say. You know that right? I mean your parents. - What are you talking about? Says, interrupting, his voice is sharp. Nobody ever lets me. Whenever I get bored and find someone better. That’s what happens. “I know” I say softly. I just, you know that I will never leave you, right? She stares at me, his face still expressionless, and then smiles, not a real smile, but smile Brianna style, that shows the world that when you go for it, that says she’s fine, everything is fine . That smile means nothing. “Of course I know, I mean who would you be without me? “She shakes her hair and says. There is a brush in my bag. Use it okay Your hair will look much better if you do. And then he goes, back to where everybody is. Ryan says his name when he meets her and says: - “Hey, Brianna can we talk? -And her eyes go wild for a moment and then makes his typical smile and keep walking towards Greg, sitting next to him. I’m taking off my shoes, fighting tears, then go to the counter and return it. I go, Brianna does not need me, she said I needed her, she did not even see me as a person. I’m just one thing. I’m just a thing for her it always been this way?

  No. I can not believe that. I know, she chose me, I speak with me. I touch the collar, remembering her face when I gave it.

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  I take a deep breath and walked toward her. “I guess, you’re going,” she says, sounding bored and looking upset, holding in one hand the keys to his car, when the step, see what I’ve done. He said he had seen, really seen, and she did not like. Do not like it at all, because she needs me to be the Sarah that she knows that he has always been his shadow happy. She needs, I need it. “If I say, because I can not do this, I can not be that person, be the Sarah that she wants … right now I can not even be close to it. I head for the exit, take the collar and keeping it in my pocket. I can not use it now, and get home, I’ll find someone to take me when they leave. I turn when I reach the door and they are all about Brianna. Even older people who are there to play, pending her, glancing from the corners of his eyes. I see Ryan walking towards her. I stop, and I hear someone say: - Are you going, or what? “And then shake my head and I turn back, walking slowly into the bowling and watching Brianna up, showing exasperation on his face when he looks at Ryan. “Look,” she says. I thought the pins would suck, but not so bad and yet you’re sitting alone, looking for who knows what, and you know what? I have no desire to deal with it. To deal with you. “I really need to talk, OK? “Says Ryan, Brianna and laughs, her hair billowing behind her. “You need, you need. I understand it, you, you, you. What about boys? “She looks at everyone gathered around acting as if they had heard every word. Even when they have done. Everyone is listening now she raises her voice, this is Brianna 101, this is Brianna when … “It’s over,” she says, and this is Brianna when someone leaves.

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  “You and I, is not working. I need time to think, and I can not do with you trying to-talk ? every five seconds. I just, I can not deal with you now. Okay? I do not want to see you now, so go. - Imre? You mean, we … - Are you going to repeat everything you say? Do not know what that means go? “Brianna said. And why is leaving now? She said she loved me, I looked into his eyes and said so. But she also said that he never wanted to be left, and Ryan was right. At some level, he knew that would happen. So she’s leaving. She is ending, and I go out. I stop in the parking lot, my heart beats so strong, I feel strange, without a weight on top, like it was driven to another world. Brianna said she would continue with Ryan. I wanted to keep her. She sounded so sure, and I never thought … Never thought I’d let him go. - Sarah? But she did, he did and he is here now, he’s in the parking lot and I turn to him. “Hey,” he says. What are you doing out here? I drink. “Waiting for someone to approach me home. Oh … and how long you wait? I do not know. - I can … I can take you home? She left, She said she did not want to see it. He is now free. Both are free. Seat, and he smiles.

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  TRANSLATED BY: Virtxu CORRECTED BY: Sera

  star with Ryan is like … It’s like opening a door to a room that was always there, waiting.

  It’s easy, the kind of ease that feels good. Perfect.

  When we reached my house, he parked in the garage and listen when I talk about my parents, how her mother failed attempt to enter the

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  Fabulous Family Cooking Contest. He knows she had tried to get in there, though, he has been apart of my life for a while. Smile when you say that. “Years,” he says. I wanted to be here, really here, like this, you, from eighth grade. “Me too, I say, true words, honest words. Are real. We’re real. T
hen we kissed, in the garage, not in the romantic moonlight or candle or anything like that. We kissed in the glow of a party, where everyone can, and will, look at us. We kiss in private, here in the darkness of his car. We kissed and I know that will never be another kiss like this that will never be another time like this, where I feel so alive, so new, so free. So happy. Brianna just know that just broke up with him, I know this is very fast, and that maybe I should slow down and not fall for it. In Ryan and me. But I want to fall. - Want to join? “I say, I know I should be playing it safe. Should be thinking about everything that has happened tonight. Leave some time to think about it. I do not need time, however. You can not imagine how I feel. And I know it either. I answered with another kiss, and both breathe heavily when we separated, with shining smiles on our faces. His fingers caught mine, entwining around, as we walk inside, and not talking. Do not feel like you have to do it, do not feel it necessary to fill this silence. I’m not nervous, I’m not overwhelmed because it is here. To be with him. I’ve imagined him here, like, a hundred, no, a million times since I realized that I liked in the eighth grade, and never in polite conversations sweet dreams.

  No, I always wanted it that he was doing this, climb the stairs with him, feeling his hand, the bigger and hotter than mine, worn and

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  roughened by the pictures you have drawn and molded it work during the summer, returning from the skinny she wanted, up to the lanky, muscular guy I want too. In my room he looks around, his fingers interlaced between mine yet, seeing each thing that makes me who I am, shoes spilling out of my closet, small sketches of shoes which I wanted to put on my wall, and dirty clothes on the floor that mom always gets me to pick. I’m not worried about any of that. I know I have to explain why I like doing what I do, who I am. No I have to apologize for not being perfect. All I do is be here, being me, and I’m doing. So when he turns to me, smiling and moving into my sketches, I walk toward him, stopping in his arms. “I’ve always liked your shoes,” he says. I’ve always liked, and then we hugged, and although I’ve never been hugged so much, never like this, because Ryan’s arms around me, he smiles at me. Hold me, and then his mouth is with mine again. We ended up in my bed, entwined in each other, and this is enough is enough. Here there is no pressure, no rush, nothing that Ryan and I have to be. Just be there. This. This is all that needs to be. Around two o’clock your stomach growls and smile, our legs are intertwined together. Still I have my clothes and he his but I am more naked than I’ve ever been, we spent hours in bed together just looking at each other, touching, kissing and talking and I am filled with joy. Incandescent. This is happiness beyond the excessive use garbage as a word beyond the first bright letters that mean nothing when strung together. They mean something now, and I know this is like when you and someone just tight. How simple is it, how amazing. - Hungry? “I say, and descended the stairs, my hand holding yours. In the kitchen, preparing sandwiches together, moving as if we were one, he standing behind me while I get the bread, my arms around him while placing a thick layer of peanut butter and then on a slice of apple.