by Ashley Meira
“I’m scared sometimes,” he said softly.
I paused. “What?”
His breath was hot against my skin as he stood there, holding me but not saying a word. I didn’t know how much time had passed before he spoke again, but it felt like a decade. “About you. That you’ll vanish one day. I’m worried you’re about to walk out that door.”
My mouth opened and closed, but the breath was gone from my lungs.
“I really like you, Sophia. Honestly, it’s scary. I don’t know what it is about you— I mean, I do. You’re an amazing woman. I’m just not used to feeling like this.” His words were barely a whisper in my ear. “But you’re such a wild card. You come close, then you back away, then you come close again. It feels like I’m waiting for the shoe to drop. That night was…. I thought you might think it was a mistake, and you’d leave as soon as this Seraphine thing was over. You said you’d been thinking about things. I thought that’s what it was, and you were going to call this whole thing off—”
“Stop,” I croaked out. Tears streaked down my cheeks like comets. “Please. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be sorry.” He squeezed me gently. “I haven’t been very open with you. Not as much as I should be.”
“Because you’re worried you’ll open up, and I’ll leave.” My legs felt like goo. How was I still standing? “You’re afraid all the trust you placed in me will go out the window. You’re afraid—” I cut off, realizing what I truly meant. “I’m afraid.”
He chuckled, but it was mirthless. “We have so much in common.”
Tilting my head back, I met his eyes. He wasn’t crying, thank goodness. He hadn’t sounded like it, but if he had been, it would’ve made me cry more. Then I’d have to punch him. I should punch him anyway, the jerk.
“You’re turning me into a girl.”
He laughed, but it was humorless. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” I said. “You haven’t done anything but be kind and prove your loyalty a dozen times over. I’m the one who’s lying to you.”
“Are you?” he said against my cheek.
I nodded, sniffing loudly.
“Well, I can think of a few times you’ve proven your loyalty. More than a few. And as for kind — sweetheart, you’re the nicest person I know.”
“Meet more people.”
He shook his head. “Didn’t I tell you? I’ve already met you. I don’t need more people.”
“You need people who don’t lie,” I insisted. “Good people.”
He pinched my side, and I jumped. “You are a good person. And if you want to fix that other issue, tell me the truth. You trust me, right?”
“Yes,” I said immediately. I’d blurted the truth out to Adrienne and Ollie, but it was harder this time.
“It’s hard for me too, you know?” he said.
“You tell me stuff.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s easy.” He made no move to turn me around. Probably thought it’d be easier for me to speak this way. It was. “Something about you makes me want to open up, though.”
“What?”
“Your smile? Your stubbornness?” He chuckled. “Everything? It’s hard to explain. Can’t I just like you?”
“No accounting for taste.” My chest hurt, and my lungs burned. Why the fuck couldn’t I get those two little words out?
“Sophia,” he said seriously. “You don’t need to be afraid of opening up. I’m not going to leave you.”
“You can,” I said. “I don’t want you to make a promise you feel obligated—”
“You’re Fireborn.”
I blinked. Well, that was anti-climactic.
“Sorry,” he said. “I know I’ve been patient with you, but I’m not really a patient person. Didn’t really mean to steal your thunder, though. Forgive me?”
This time, my legs really did give out. “You knew.”
His arms were strong around my waist as he lifted me bridal-style. “I’m a genius. Of course I knew.”
I smacked his arm and rolled my eyes. “You knew! I’ve been a mess and— Damn it.” Wrapping my arms around him, I sobbed in relief. He knew. And he hadn’t left.
“Honestly, I should be pissed.” He growled. “I was pissed. Did you really think I was so into Council propaganda that I blindly followed it? I can read people, and I knew from all our time together that you weren’t a bad person. Aren’t a bad person,” he corrected. “After I calmed down, I saw it from your perspective. You’d known me less than a week, and after hearing about your past, I couldn’t even be annoyed about your suspicion. So, I told myself I’d wait. You needed to feel safe first, and I really wanted you to feel that way around me.”
“But,” I stammered. “I lied. All that time we spent together… I was lying to you.” How could he ever forgive me?
His angry look intensified. “You were trying to protect yourself. How the hell could I be mad about that?”
“But—”
“If you think about it, I’ve been lying, too.” He took a calming breath. “I’ve known for a while. Or suspected, at least.”
“How long?” I squeaked, biting into his shoulder to muffle the sound.
“The Pyrenees. When you started licking me.”
“You tasted good,” I mumbled against his neck. He still did.
“You were high, I’m guessing. I have no experience with Fireborns.” He pulled back, nudging my head with his nose. “Did you stop that wave?”
“Yeah — to being high and stopping that wave.” I sniffed. “I think, to quote Adrienne, I should start at the beginning.”
So, for the second time, I spilled my guts out — the last eight years of my life, without a single omission. Adam sat us down halfway through, and we curled up together on the couch as I spoke. I felt lighter with each word. When I finished, I was air. No amount of magic could make me feel this good. I finally smiled, cupping Adam’s face in my hands.
“You knew. And you stayed.”
“Always will.” He ran a hand down my leg. Thank goodness my deep-sea tub diving left me plenty of time to shave.
“The Gem of Anathasia is in my bag, by the way. I should probably return that.”
“Keep it. Damien already thinks you have it.”
I pulled away with such force I almost fell off the couch.
“The pizza is probably cold,” he said.
“We’re mages, we can heat it. Go back to your brother.”
“He’s a genius, too. And he’s going to keep his mouth shut,” he added. “More as a favor to me, but as long as he keeps quiet, right?”
I flopped back against Adam’s chest. Damien would keep quiet. Why didn’t that make me feel better? Right, because he could change his mind at any time and out me to the Council.
Adam must’ve noticed the doubt on my face, because he said, “He’ll protect your secret — and I’ll protect you.”
“Can we deal with this later?” My brain was on its last working neuron. “All I want is to take one last day off and relax with my… Adam before facing the real world.”
“Boyfriend?” he suggested.
“Feels weird.”
“Honeybuns?”
“You better be talking about the food.”
“Fuck it.” He tangled his fingers in my hair and crashed our lips together.
I moaned, scrambling to reciprocate. How long had it been? Too long. And this kiss was even better. Passionate, caring, honest. The lack of secrets made the action almost pure, though the hands gripping my backside were definitely not pure.
I didn’t care.
By the time we pulled away, I was shaking from the lack of air, and Adam’s lips were swollen in that perfect, sexy way. Our magic tangled together, unafraid. My Fire flicked out, content with just looking for now. I nuzzled into his neck, pausing to nip his ear.
“Careful,” I said, as his magic rubbed against mine. “I might absorb it.”
“We need to talk about that more,” he said
. “Tomorrow. Right now, eat your reheated pizza.”
My stomach took control, and I lunged for a slice, drooling at the hot, sticky cheese. “You’re amazing.”
“You’re just saying that because I’m feeding you and playing Harry Potter.”
“You’re also really hot and can do amazing things with your tongue.”
“I was saving that for later.”
I paused mid-bite and turned to him. Heat swarmed my cheeks as I took in his expression. He wasn’t kidding. And I didn’t mind. I still hadn’t seen his bedroom, after all.
“But first, we’re going to finish this movie.” He reached for a slice. “Start it, really, because someone fell asleep.”
I watched him set up everything, admiring the curve of his back and the flex of his muscles. Last week had been hell, but these past few hours had more than made up for it.
Sure, chaos was going to hit in a big way. Nicholas and Seraphine weren’t going to run off and retire in Maine. They were going to stir up the entire planet.
But not tonight. Tonight, I was going to spend time with my boyfriend. Nope, still felt weird. Whatever. We were going to spend tonight together. And tomorrow, I’d convince him to kick my ass into shape. Now that he knew I was Fireborn, we could train harder.
Adam said he’d protect me, and as much as it annoyed my self-reliant side, I couldn’t help smiling every time I replayed the words in my head. But I had a feeling protecting myself would fall on my shoulders. Which was how it should be. I was going to get stronger, so that next time I ran into the monster from my past, I could do more than just sit there in fear.
I could fight. I could win.
“I guess it was a stupid thought,” Adam said as he plopped back onto the couch.
“Huh?” I asked through a mouthful of pepperoni and sausage.
“The hippo PJs should have been a sign you weren’t about to run off on me.”
I scoffed and snuggled up against his side. “Shut up and be amazed.”
This time, I stayed awake through the entire movie.
Thank you!
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Author’s Note
Hi there! I hope you enjoyed reading Smoke and Magic — I had a lot of fun writing it. Magic Lost, the third book has some big moments in it, so I hope this book has done well in setting the stage — and keeping you interested! I’m glad to be continuing this series with such support. You, the reader, are who I write for, and to know so many people are enjoying Sophia’s story is amazing.
There were some big revelations in this book, from Diana to Nicholas and few things in-between. The truth will be revealed in the final three books before I wrap the series up and start on Fiona’s.
So, without wanting to spoil that, I’ll talk about Sophia’s relationships, because Magic Lost focuses more on Adam and Fiona’s respective histories. Well, partially because. Mostly it’s because relationships are my favorite parts of books!
I think I mentioned that in my note from Hidden Magic: even if I don’t particularly enjoy a book’s plot, I’ll read on for the characters. That said, I do hope you’re enjoying the plot so far! But the characters are what holds a story together. Even if the stakes are interesting, what does it matter if you don’t care about the people?
I’ve tried my best to keep these characters relatable, or at the very least, believable. I had a lot of worries about writing Sophia in this way — emotional and weepy. My beta readers have told me her crying didn’t get annoying, and I hope you feel the same way. Her melancholy doesn’t really tone down until the end of the next book, however, where she really comes into her own, and I’d like to explain that a bit.
Sophia has always been on the edge. She and her sister have spent their entire remembered existence running and hiding from shadows in the dark, too afraid to treasure anything for fear it might be taken away. Now, they have a life. They have friends who care, and Sophia has an amazing… Adam, who wants to be with her. She’s someone who’s had nothing, and suddenly, she’s been given everything she’s ever wanted. A family, security, people who love her. That’s not to say she didn’t have that with Fiona. Sophia was content with her sister’s love, but now she has so much more love that it overwhelms her — almost as much as the terror of losing it all does.
She may be twenty-four, but Sophia has only has about eight years of real life experience. The rest is mostly muscle memory. That’s not to say she’s a child, but she hasn’t had the chance to experience life the way a standard person has, so these things affect her strongly.
I say “standard,” but even I get terrified when people important to me get take away, or are under threat of being taken away. It’s human nature to want to keep our loved ones safe — almost as much is it is to want to keep ourselves safe.
It can be so, so hard to open up to another person. What if they don’t mean what they say? What if they don’t like you once they see what you’re really like? What if they let you down or abandon you? I think everyone has at least one of these insecurities, and for Sophia who, again, has had nothing her whole life, the idea of losing all she’s gained — her treasured family — is the worst thing that could happen. The idea practically renders her catatonic, which I hope comes across in this book.
I didn’t bring you down too much with that sad talk, did I? Things will get better for Sophia — they have to. I’m a huge wimp when it comes to sad things — but she’s going to have to ride this rollercoaster a little longer, especially now that she’s entering a new step in her relationship with Adam. She’s spent so much time worrying about what he’ll think of her scars, but he’s been just as worried about showing her his own. That’ll come to fruition in Magic Lost. I hope you’ll be along for the ride!
Thank you so much for your support!
Also by Ashley Meira
The Spire Chronicles
Hunter, Hunted
Ties That Bind
King’s Gambit
Shadowlands
Lay Me Down (Coming soon)
My Soul To Keep (Coming soon)
Touched By Magic: Dragon
Hidden Magic
Smoke and Magic (Coming soon)
Magic Lost (Coming soon)
Magic Unbound (Coming soon)
Magic Rising (Coming soon)
Touched By Magic: Fae
Coming soon