by Gabi Moore
I recall watching the places where my friends were holed up and waiting. They were far away, and their actual positions were obscured by the shadows of monsters from above. Rage swelled up within me and I struggled to retain the level of composure that I knew would be required of me moving forward in our mission.
Another visual tear, followed by the sound of static and a high pitch ringing in my ears.
The carrier tone is the aftermath of an explosion that went off too close for comfort. We finally erected some deflection spells, but I was caught on the wrong side of them. I got lucky. No other way to frame the situation.
My body is full of adrenaline, and I am using every bit of my physical ability in order to move quickly. I have to close a great distance in a short period of time. Explosions around me spray my body with chunks of rocks. We have nearly missed the mark of what we were aiming to achieve.
In the distance, I can see Thane. He is supposed to be at my side but is caught up in an unfavorable battle. There are too many of them, and things are not going as smoothly as we had hoped they might.
I don't even have the presence of mind to wish that I as elsewhere.
My path to Thane is blocked, and I am pushed into the rear end of the fray. The rocks around me look like they have been lashed and marked by some furious storm. Rain pours down soot and debris from overhead. As the toxins are purged from the sky, I survey the field, and find our target -- the very reason for all of this sacrifice. Even as I see him, Xan is raining fire down from the heavens.
My vision widens as I consider what must be done. Without my consent, my senses have heightened to an exponential degree. Not only can I hear Thane's blade slide through the armor plating of the opponents he fights, but I can smell the seared flesh of our brothers and sisters on the far side of the battle lines. A vision of Xan grows in my head, and I realize that this is the future he wanted to achieve. Burning people alive who dared to disagree with his beliefs.
Without thinking, I took a step forward.
My role in all of this was supposed to be ancillary. I was supposed to create value. Provide information. I was not an action asset. That was Thane's job. However, every moment I continued to censor myself, was one more moment when I had to watch the world deteriorate around me. There wasn't enough time for things to unfold as we had planned, and it became increasingly clear to me that I needed to take a drastic step forward, and go at it alone.
The plan was complex, which is why my services were needed.
I had been studying Xan on an undercover level for years now. I knew his movements, and his habits. I knew everything that I could learn about him, given the fact that he was my sole point of focus for this entire assignment. Importantly, I had also uncovered his point of weakness.
Men like Xan took refuge in the complexities of their own minds. There is a level of arrogance there which prohibits them from thinking clearly about matters which might be better handled via other pathways.
Xan had mapped out the geometric pathways of power on which he drew his strength. He had planned out all of the theoretical advantages and disadvantages of retaining a full shield, versus retaining full attack power. In a field of battle like this, he was going to be more outwardly focused than inwardly defensive. That much was evident. The trick in knowing how to disable a person's magical shields has to do with knowing which geometrical structures to dislocate. In a complex system, removing one fundamental structural element can be the difference between relative impermeability and systemic collapse.
My job was to know the pathways forward, disable the shields, and let Thane follow up with the killing strike.
"Aria, STAND DOWN!"
Thane's voice rang clear in my head through private telepathic channels. The two of us had spent so time training together that our bodies and souls had fused. We could share thoughts, which was another reason why our placement together was crucial.
I saw out the corner of my eye as Thane struggled to free himself from his entanglements. He was a proficient fighter -- one of the best, but he was covered. There was no way for him to get there in time, and now, as Xan was preparing to launch another devastating attack, I had no choice. I had to strike.
I brought our psychic link to a close, and zeroed in on the pathway before me.
Every step I took, every subtle twitch of muscles and distribution of weight was correct. One foot planted on the base of a boulder, and the next followed with a swift step after the first. I leaped up into the air and drew my dagger from its sheath. Closing my eyes, I reached out with sensitivity, and felt for the swirling geometrical patterns which composed Xan's shield. I knew that to make a mistake at this point would be the equivalent of forfeiting our entire cause. The weight of the moment was daunting, but the pressure was all focused on locating a single point of entry.
The blade, magically imbued to disassemble psychic shields, slid between the first orbit. My feet landed on the ground, and my body began moving through the complex dance of motions necessary to achieve my purpose. One by one the orbiting shields around Xan fell, all while he was in the midst of his spell.
I could feel the raw anger and power emanating off from his body. He knew that I was approaching, but to interrupt his casting at this point could bring dire consequences. Whatever dark forces were being marshaled by his will could easily turn on him if he was not in control of every aspect of his attack.
The dim light faded from the sky and the ground beneath my feet began to shake. Still I pressed forward, finding myself in the final move of my dance with death. The dagger in my hand was now pressed up against my chest -- hilt first, elbows out, prepared to deliver the final blow to Xan's shields.
Diving forward from fifteen feet behind his position, I sank the blade into Xan's spine, disconnecting the meridian flow from where his power stemmed.
The shield was down but the spell had already been finished. I was too late.
Xan's entire attention turned on me with the quickness of a viper. All I needed to do was remove the blade, and puncture his heart. The killing stroke would have been so easy, but Xan prided himself on being not only magically powerful, but a physical warrior as well. He overwhelmed me with little effort, pulled the blade out by my wrist, and then spun me around onto the ground.
Static.
"Aria, so sweet..."
His voice was a growl in my ear. I wanted to curse in response, but his knee came strong into my back, and knocked all of the wind out of me. Choking on the dust of the ground, stars swam before my eyes.
"To be betrayed so exquisitely by a woman who has thrown herself at your feet..."
He bit my neck and spread my ass with one hand -- digging his fingers into my crotch. I listened to him inhale a deep long breath. The sound of his wind was punctuated by the unearthly screams of the damned.
"Do you hear that?"
His hand other hand was around my neck now, choking me and pushing me into the ground.
"That's the sound of the end of your kind."
His fingers dug into my sex and then pulled out again.
"Pity too... but before you die... I want to do you the favor of reflecting back to you what you have attempted to share with me.”
The hand that had been inside of me now dug into my back, prying between my left wing and my shoulder blade. I already couldn't breathe, and the screams of battle were tearing through my consciousness. He drove his hips into mine from behind and tore at my wing. I felt bones break, and tendons snap -- the sound was louder than any of the other elements of the battle. The echo was felt through my entire body.
As soon as the pressure had been exerted, I collapsed into relief.
Strangely, there was no pain. Only a flood of endorphins and adrenaline. I was starry-eyed, and dissociated. Then I felt a huge weight fall down on top of me, crushing me into the dirt. Blood poured over my body, and into the ground below.
The sound of battle was gone.
I watched myself from an outs
ide perspective. All that remained was the steady and slowing beat of my own heart -- and Thane's voice.
“Aria! Aria, stay with me!”
Chapter 2
I woke up, violently gasping for air. My heart was racing, and each breath surged into my lungs as I tried to get a grip on the world around me.
I remained in the same location, but my sight was still ambiguous. The lingering forms of sleep moved away from the center of my focus and I found myself in my room once more.
I was in the Capitol.
The revolution was over.
My shoulder still ached with sense memory -- a treat from my sub-conscious in the form of another rerun of horror and loss.
The pulsing illumination of a COM-device by my bed echoed and mimicked the raging of my own heartbeat. I looked over at the insignia to see who was trying to contact me. An Oak leaf grasped by an Eagle's Claw presented itself before me on the console.
Thane...
Bright iridescent Fae Fire danced around the symbol, climbing upward in a small arc on my bedside table.
The COM-device had been a gift to me from the new government. Operating on those same telepathic channels had the undesirable effect of giving me traumatic stress flashbacks; ironically, the COM-device seemed to be accomplishing the same goal.
I let the device continue to ring, and rolled out of bed to walk into the kitchen.
The windows of my small apartment were large enough to provide a fair view of myself to anyone who was bold enough to look into the window of an ex-resistance fighter. Fortunately for me, that list was completely empty, while the perks of my own view was relatively unlimited.
In the early mornings, like this, I could see the night sky in all of its crystalline clarity. When the moon was high in the sky, a silver light would bathe the wild area outside of my building. I had fired the gardeners about four years ago, and since then I had been treated to an incredible bouquet of seasonal wildflowers, and even a few small fruit trees. I didn't technically own the building, and the gardener wasn't technically my employee, but I did threaten him with an illegal weapon, and he never came back. Also, the landlord has an obvious soft spot for veterans. Besides, I think Thane gives him a pretty heavy tax deduction.
Thane finally gave up.
The COM-device went silent, and I was given a moment to breathe inside of my apartment without the rush of urgency. Whatever reason he was calling me this early in the morning was not likely to be anything positive, though it was probably serious. Thane had transformed into an incredible businessman and person of state. In the meanwhile, I was struggling to breathe at 4 AM after a dream-induced panic attack.
I cleared off some of the previously discarded clothes from a place on the floor, and sat down to stare out of my window at the wild area beyond. Meditation always helped me, but I didn't go in for any of those pre-recorded guide deals. There were twenty thousand gurus in the Capitol, now that we were all free liberal thinkers.
I didn't need a single one of them.
Closing my eyes, I extended my abdomen, and allowed air to fill in my entire body. Just focusing on my breath, and nothing else, I allowed the stress of the dream to pass away. Each muscle group began to relax, and my heartbeat returned to normal. My attention had just shifted focus to the cool feeling of damp clothes against my body when the COM-device went off once more.
This time, I didn't bother to ignore him. He would keep calling me every ten minutes until I arrived in the state building.
Like a child, I thought as I walked over to activate the link.
When Thane picked up on the other end, there was no greeting or small talk. He was unaccommodating, and strictly business.
"We have to talk."
"Great, cause I was just thinking about putting in my resignation." I was serious, but I didn't have to be there to see his eyes roll.
"Be here in an hour. I need you."
*click*
I watched as the device went dead once more, and then sat down to resume my meditation.
Thane could wait.
* * *
As a matter of course, I had already picked up my leave of absence papers before heading into Thane's office. We both knew it didn't mean much of anything, but I couldn't afford to let my own threats sit idly by while that fucker called me in the middle of important nightmares.
The secretary that I picked up the forms from smiled at me and greeted me by name.
"Aria, did you lose your last set of forms?"
I scanned her face, seeking out all hints of subtle irony and cynicism.
There were none.
She was guileless, and authentically concerned as to why I had filed for these forms at least six times in the last eight months, and yet, somehow I was still requesting more paperwork. The humble secretary knew nothing, and only wanted to help.
I ripped the forms out of her hand and then stalked down the hall to Thane's office.
When I walked in he was busy polishing his desk.
"You'd be better off polishing your cock," I said.
"I've got secretaries who take care of that for me."
He smiled -- this one was dripping with subtext.
"Just kidding, far too busy for that."
"Yea right."
He walked over behind me and as he moved, I listened to the soft clack of his shoes on the tile floor of his office.
Thane was dressed immaculately. In my mind's eye, I could see him standing there being measured by a team of private tailors while the secretary who ritualistically handed me my resignation papers busily sucked him off -- sure to catch every last drop of cum, lest it stain the finish on the marble floor.
Immediately, I felt self-conscious about my lack of formal attire and my own projected sexualized fantasy. Thane had adapted so well to this new environment, and I was still stuck in some ruffian, adolescent fantasy. Bags under my eyes, hardly bothering to wash my hair, much less swim in the subtle ambiance of custom perfume.
"You look nice."
"This is the same outfit I wore last week."
"It's a great outfit. I bet you can do everything that you used to be able to pull off in an outfit like that."
There was no need for me to respond. The compliments would continue relentlessly until I gave in and decided to pursue whatever it was that Thane had called me in here to achieve. History has a way of repeating itself.
"You used to just ask me to work together in order to achieve a goal. Now you're all about flattery and finery. How do you sleep at night?"
The door shut behind me, and I felt Thane stand beside me and walk me toward the desk.
"More flashbacks, is that what this is about?"
"You woke up right at the end..."
I shuddered, and he looked down -- legitimately humbled, if only for a moment.
"I wouldn't have contacted you this morning if I didn't think this was serious." His hand had already taken the hand that was clutching the papers. With ease and confidence, he loosened my grip and placed the papers on the desk. "We'll deal with those soon enough, though I'm pretty sure you're stockpiling the last four copies you've given me."
I thought about giving him an excuse, but I was already spent. It wasn't his fault that my mind kept going through all of the same shit every week. Defeated, I sat down on the plush leather recliner, and sank into submission.
Generally speaking, the types of assignments that Thane reserved for me specifically were very similar to the types of assignments we used to carry out together, though for the most part it was all political pretense these days. He wanted to know who was thinking what, and which way some vote might go. The usual shit.
What I couldn't understand is why he kept using me for these allegedly 'subversive' missions, when everyone knew that he and I regularly met up and discussed this very thing.
As Thane prattled on about his most recent point of intrigue, I sat there with my eyes at half-mast, waiting for the moment when he would get past the preli
minaries and actually get to the point.
"Aria, I need to know that you'll be there for me on this one."
Thane always talked to people this way. It seemed to me like he didn't quite realize that there were other conscious people in the world. He was a narcissist to be sure, apparently seeming to forget that there were others as perceptive and highly functional as himself.
His smooth talking didn’t really matter much anyway. Both he and I knew what he was trying to pull, but it didn’t do much of anything to change my mind. I had my own reasons of wanting to go on this mission, and for speaking to Thane.
For the moment, I had enough reasons to allow myself to be seduced.
On an emotional level, Thane and I went back to the days of the revolution. He had been a leader of profound military force, and I had been a primary intelligence operative. We had been through hell and high water together, and that kind of history creates very deep bonds indeed.
Now that the revolution had been successful, and we had both reached the other side of that conflict, we no longer had that tight social glue that comes about as a result of enduring conflict, and achieving group victory. Our sense of group identity had dissolved into individually focused bureaucratic roles within the glorious new, Non-Violent State.
My eyes had to roll whenever I thought about it.
But for now, I was here in Thane’s Office. Watching his lips move while he told me all about how sweet I was, and how he always knew that I was cut out for a role like this, and so on.
Apparently, for some, “Non-Violent State” meant “Emotionally Manipulative and Politically Coercive State”.
Poor bastard could have saved so much energy if he had just gone straight to the shoulder massage in the beginning, and skipped all of the ego-affirming verbal nonsense. All it took was a pair of his strong hands to massage the tired muscles on either side of my spine, and I would have committed treason for that man. Not that treason was what was called for here. After all, treason would imply that one was working against the government, and not for them.