by Carr, Mari
“Katie. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. How’s your dad?”
“It wasn’t a heart attack. It was heartburn.”
Laura closed her eyes, relief flowing through her. “Thank God.”
Katie narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have to pretend you care for my sake.”
Laura swallowed down her anger. “I’m not pretending. Are they keeping him overnight?”
Katie shook her head. “No. They’re about to release him. Which is why I really think you and your new boyfriend should leave. He’ll be out any minute. I’m going to stay with him.”
“Did you call Kevin? Is he coming into town tonight?” Laura hated the idea of her son driving three and half hours on the interstate in the dead of night.
“He was almost halfway here when we found out it was a false alarm. I called him and he turned around and went back home. He hasn’t built up any vacation time in his new job and he’s supposed to attend some mandatory training tomorrow afternoon. He said he’d try to come up next weekend.”
“Good. Are you sure you don’t need me to do anything to help you?”
Katie looked over her shoulder. Laura could tell her daughter was worried about Mason coming out to find her, dressed in a crazy get-up and out on a date. “No. We’ll be fine.”
“I’ll call you in the morning. Okay?”
Katie shrugged as if she didn’t care one way or the other. The gesture cut Laura deep.
“I love you, Katie.”
“I know, Mom.”
Laura tried to ignore the irritable tone and the fact Katie didn’t say the words back. She couldn’t remember the last time her daughter had told her she loved her.
Laura walked to the exit, torn between the desire to unleash her fury by throwing something and curling into the fetal position and crying her heart out.
Bryan stood and followed her out. Once they were outside, he took her hand.
“You okay?”
Laura swallowed back the tears. She wouldn’t cry.
“I’m fine.” Her voice broke on the words.
Bryan tugged on her hand, pulling her to a stop. “Hey.” He turned her to face him, placing his hand on her chin and tilting her face up to his. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She wished she could believe that, but her heart simply wouldn’t accept it. “I’ve done everything wrong and I can’t figure out how to fix it.”
Bryan hugged her and she soaked up the comfort of his embrace. “Laura,” he whispered. His kindness was her undoing as a tear fell. She squeezed her eyes shut, determined that would be the only one to fall. She’d spent too much of the last two years crying. This was the year for shedding the cloak of sadness and moving on.
If only she knew how.
Chapter Five
Laura Sanders
I love movies that touch me and make me cry. Sometimes there’s nothing more cleansing than bawling your eyes out when the Titanic goes down or when Bette Midler sings “Wind Beneath my Wings” in Beaches. When I watch those movies, it makes me realize that my life’s not as bad as it seems.
Laura washed her soup bowl and spoon, placing them in the drainer to dry. Though she had a dishwasher in the townhouse, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d used it. The only good thing to be said for eating alone was that it made for a quick, easy clean up.
It had been a month since Mason’s trip to the emergency room. Since then, Katie had withdrawn from Laura once more. It was like the first few months after Laura left Mason all over again. Katie wouldn’t return her calls or texts. When Laura stopped by Katie’s school one day to surprise her with lunch, Katie had accepted the food Laura had packed with a quick thank you before dashing off for some important parent conference.
Bryan, like Kristen, insisted that Katie just needed time, but Laura wasn’t sure that was true. It was becoming more and more apparent she’d lost her daughter forever and that thought left her with a weight on her chest that wouldn’t lift and jerked her awake night after night with tears in her eyes.
Bryan’s reappearance in her life helped alleviate some of the pain. After spending so much of the year since her divorce alone, it was nice to have someone to talk to again. When he was in town, they ate dinner together—either at his place or hers—then they’d watch TV or go to the movies or dancing or they’d just sit around and talk. It was refreshing to hang out with someone with whom she shared so much in common.
She’d tried to phone him a couple of times today to invite him over, but he hadn’t returned her calls. She was reaching for her cell to text him when it rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but she answered anyway.
“Hello.”
“Laura?”
Laura recognized Trina’s voice. “Trina. Is everything okay? Is your dad all right?”
“I think so.”
Laura’s heart began to race with fear. Had Bryan been in an accident? Was he hurt? “What happened?”
“Nothing. He’s just not returning my calls. I was wondering if you’d heard from him.”
“No.” Laura’s anxiety increased. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with him either. Have you driven by his apartment?”
There was a moment of silence on the other end.
“Trina?”
“I drove by a few hours ago, but his car was gone. Today’s the sixth anniversary of my mom’s death.”
The words blindsided Laura. “Oh.”
“It’s a rough day for Dad, but I hoped this year, with you, maybe he wouldn’t…”
“Disappear?”
Trina released a long breath. “Yeah.”
“Do you have any idea where he would go?”
“No. I wish I did. Since the two of you were friends from high school, I was hoping you would have some guesses of places he might go to hide.”
Laura considered several places, but dismissed them all. “Trina. Have you ever considered that he doesn’t want to be found? I mean…if he does this every year, it’s obvious he just needs the day to himself, to regroup, to grieve.”
Trina sniffled and it was then Laura realized the girl was crying. Her heart broke for her.
“Do you want to come over? I can bake some cookies. We can pig out.”
Trina laughed. “I’d love to do that, but the band has a gig tonight. I’m actually running late. I’d feel a lot better performing if I knew—”
The rest of Trina’s words were drowned out by a loud bang on Laura’s door. Laura glanced out the front window from the kitchen and spotted Bryan’s car.
“Trina. Rest easy. He’s outside knocking on my door.”
“Thank God.”
Laura walked to the front door. “You want to talk to him?”
“No,” Trina said quickly. “I really am late and just knowing he’s with you makes me feel better.”
Laura smiled, pleased by the girl’s compliment. She liked Bryan’s daughter a lot. “I’ll take care of him. Promise.”
“Thanks, Laura. I’m not sure what’s going on between you and my dad, but I think you’re really good for him. I hope it works out.”
“Me too,” Laura whispered. The two of them said their goodbyes. Laura placed her phone on a small table in the hallway and opened the door.
Bryan looked like hell. She’d grown accustomed to his tidy appearance—his pressed shirts, combed hair and shaved jaw. This man looked like he’d slept in his clothes and she’d bet his face hadn’t seen a razor in two or three days.
“Hi, stranger. Long time, no—”
Bryan cut her words off with a hard kiss. Laura was vaguely aware of him pushing her inside and kicking the door closed. She tried to pull away to talk to him, but Bryan refused to relinquish his grip. His fingers tightened in her hair as he pushed her against the wall.
“Bryan,” she gasped as she turned her head, desperately seeking some air.
His lips descended on her cheek, her ear, her neck. He kissed her everywhere. “I need you. Now.�
�� His words sounded almost apologetic.
Really?
Did he think she would refuse him? When had she ever turned him away? She knew how difficult this day was for him—the fact that he’d come to her gave her hope.
Hope for what?
A relationship?
God, did she really want that?
Bryan must have mistaken her silence for rejection. He took a step back, though he kept her caged in, his palms lying flat against the wall. “Laura?”
His voice sounded husky from lack of use…or from a surfeit of emotion.
She nodded, her heart beating quickly, almost painfully. His gaze was dark, his expression frightening in its intensity.
“I need…” He paused, his breath shallow.
Understanding dawned. He was losing control, floundering, struggling to find his footing. He needed her to give that back to him.
“I’m yours.”
His eyes closed slowly, but he didn’t move. She watched as he fought to steady himself. Some powerful force was at work inside him. Strangely, it comforted her to see him struggling to regain his composure.
For the first few months of their renewed friendship, she’d been the emotional basket case, while he’d offered his calming influence. Knowing he fought his own demons made her feel less alone, less screwed up.
It also pleased her to know that finally…she had something to offer him.
When his eyelids lifted, she recognized an almost serene look on his face. “I like it rough.”
She released a brief laugh. “Apparently I do too.”
He didn’t share her humor. “I can’t—” He grimaced. “I can’t promise to be gentle. I want you too badly.”
“I won’t break,” she whispered.
He studied her face. What was he searching for? Reassurance? Proof she wasn’t lying?
Someone else?
Did she remind him of Corinne? From the stories he’d told her and comments Trina made in passing about her mother, Laura gathered she and the woman who’d come before her were as dissimilar as day and night.
“You’re right. You won’t. Take off your clothes.”
The command came out of nowhere, yet Laura didn’t waste time considering the wisdom of her actions. She simply reached for the hem of her T-shirt and tugged it over her head. She’d shed her bra about five minutes after coming home from work, donning her comfy lounge clothes. She untied the drawstring of her pants and slid them down. As easy as that, she was naked.
Bryan took a step back to look at her. She’d never experienced a moment of embarrassment with him. His gaze was too adoring to do anything more than empower her, make her feel beautiful.
She reached for the top button of his shirt, slipping it free, then she remembered his comment about liking it rough. She’d relived that sexual encounter in the bathroom of the movie theater over and over. The passion and power of the moment had blown her away.
Repeat? Yes, please.
She gripped the edges of his shirt and pulled it apart, buttons flying as she bared his chest.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “You really shouldn’t have done that.”
For the first time since he’d entered, she saw the familiar humor sparkling in his eyes.
“So sue me.”
He shook his head. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind.” He grasped her upper arm and pushed her toward the dining room table. “Have you ever been spanked?”
“You mean as a kid?”
“Sexually.”
Before him, her sexual experiences had been strictly vanilla. She hadn’t minded the lack of variety because her husband hadn’t really mastered the basics. Laura hadn’t seen any point in moving beyond that. “No. I haven’t.”
“Get ready.”
The small dining area was actually a nook in the corner of her living room. Her townhouse seemed big enough when it was just her, but now she realized how tiny it was.
“Do it,” she dared him. He pushed her forward against the smooth, cool surface of the table.
She shivered despite the heat of Bryan’s chest pressing against her bare back. She considered struggling, fighting against his aggression, but he whispered in her ear before she could move.
“You’re so gorgeous, alive. I’ve been numb for six years, Laura. But when I’m with you, I feel again.”
“It’s the same for me.” As soon as she spoke the words, she realized they were the truth.
“I don’t want to scare you.”
“You won’t.”
His breath was hot on her face. He placed a quick kiss to her cheek, then he rose once more. Laura thought she was prepared for him, for this, but when his hand connected with her ass, she reared up, shocked by the pain.
Bryan used his free hand to hold her to the table, spanking her three more times. Laura’s struggles were made in vain, Bryan’s grip, his strength far greater than hers. She started to call a halt. To tell him she’d changed her mind.
But then his fingers appeared. He dragged them along her sex, silently encouraging her to open her legs. The heat of the spanking morphed into something more than pain. Her pussy tingled, clenching, searching.
He’d yet to do more than offer a gentle stroke, yet Laura was hovering at the edge of an orgasm.
The sensations confused her, aroused her. There seemed to be no end to the sensual weapons Bryan had at his disposal. Over the course of the past few months, he’d continually surprised her, introducing Laura to some previously unseen kinky side lurking deep within her.
She liked it.
“Please,” she whispered, when he continued to play with her, his caresses too gentle and nowhere near the area that most needed his attention.
He didn’t react to her plea. Instead he drew his fingers through her juices, only offering glancing touches to her clit, the opening to her sex. He didn’t halt until the tip of his finger grazed her anus.
She sucked in a sharp, loud breath.
Bryan paused, but he didn’t remove his finger. “Yes or no?”
What the hell did that mean?
“I’m going to need more information.”
Bryan chuckled. “You are one of the funniest women I’ve ever met.”
The compliment sent a surge of warmth and happiness through her. Bryan was quick and witty. The fact that he thought she was funny was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her. Typically Mason just rolled his eyes whenever she said something meant to be silly.
Gah. Stop thinking about Mason.
“I’m glad you think so, but that doesn’t really answer my question, does it?”
“For now you would be saying yes to me doing a little exploration down here.”
“Deep-sea diving?”
Bryan laughed. “Jesus. Sure.”
“And what equipment would you be using?”
Bryan wiggled his finger against her ass, pushing it the slightest bit deeper. “For now, just this. But I reserve the right to pull out the bigger stuff at a later time.”
She swallowed nervously. He’d only breached her with the tip of his finger, yet she could feel a slight pinch. Arousal and her goddamn kinky curiosity were rearing their heads, urging her to say what the hell?
“Okay. Fine.”
Bryan reached for her, lifting her from the table and turning her in his arms. He kissed her, one of those long, slow, sexy kisses that never failed to take her breath away. Bryan could teach a class on kissing.
“Let’s go to your bedroom,” he murmured against her lips.
She nodded, just a slight bob of her head, as she tightened her grip on his neck, holding his mouth to hers.
They started walking, awkwardly, slowly, toward the stairs—neither of them willing to break the connection. At the foot of the stairs, they stopped moving as they continued kissing.
Bryan ran his hands all over her body, touching her breasts, her waist, her hips. She winced slightly when he cupped her ass, giving the sore flesh a slight squeez
e.
“Ouch,” she whispered.
Bryan released her lips, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
“I don’t want an apology. I just want more.”
“I lose my head when I’m with you. Do things I’ve never done before. Jesus, Laura. You’re good for my soul.”
It was the first time Bryan had implied that their sexual friendship meant something more to him. Laura expected that idea to scare her, but it didn’t. She felt the same way.
Bryan didn’t wait for her to respond. Instead he grasped her hand and led her to her bedroom. Toeing off his socks and shoes, he stripped out of his jeans. Laura wondered how he’d managed to keep his erection closed up in the tight denim for so long. It had to be painful.
Bryan tipped her face up with a finger on her chin. She blushed when she realized she’d been caught ogling his cock. “See anything you like?”
She nodded. “I like everything.”
Bryan pressed her down onto the bed, lifting her knees and holding them in the crook of his elbows. She was open wide and ready when he placed the head of his cock at her opening and pushed inside with one hard, deep thrust.
Laura cried out at the force of his motions. His thighs brushed her ass, a constant reminder of his spanking. It notched her arousal even higher.
When his motions slowed, she opened her eyes, saw the conflict on his face. He was restraining himself, holding himself back.
The realization pissed her off. Tonight was about disappearing. Bryan needed to escape the grief that had haunted him for six years, while she just wanted to forget about everything. Period.
She gripped his upper arms, digging her nails into his muscular flesh until Bryan hissed.
“I thought you said you liked it rough,” she taunted.
His gaze narrowed. “Laura.” It was a warning.
She didn’t want it. She shook her legs free from his grip, then pushed herself up on her elbows. Bryan leaned closer, intent on kissing her.
She lifted her face to his, then bit his lower lip.
Bryan jerked back, his face stunned…and then God help her, pure hunger took over. The limits fell away. Laura shoved Bryan to his back on the mattress, coming over him, riding him with abandon as she took control of her own needs. And his.