I took a breath and prepared myself for the exhaustion that would come. I haven’t done this ritual for a while. When I closed in on Vivian I was surprised to see that none of her demons fought against me. In fact they welcomed me to give her life. She had to unfold and bare open before me. She had to let me in. And my vulnerability was just as exposed in front of her. I haven’t performed the ritual of what the commoners called Angel Kiss for some time. I burrowed my eyebrows as thoughts of the consequence rolled in. What would my people say? What would the high court say about this conflict of interest? It could be kept as a secret but for how long? This was a ritual made for our own kind and only performed by those who had lived the hundreds of years required to be able to perform it without inflicting death upon themselves.
I leaned down and kissed Vivian on the forehead. A life for a life was fair. Even if it was easier that I let her die. As I held her in my arms and closed my eyes I could sense that my wings began to glow a light pink. I couldn’t help but smile at the smartass comment she would say if she saw the color. It lit the entire room as I concentrated on her, in place that some might call the afterlife. I had to find that little tether of her, of her life and bring her back. She was already slowly drifting in that darkness as I searched. Although her demon cat kept her alive on the physical plain, Vivian was slowly drifting and I wondered if I was taking her chance to escape. What if this life wasn’t one she had chosen for herself? I tore away from the remnants of her own thoughts as questions rose in me that were of her own. It was a personal ritual to perform because from now on, not that she would enjoy to know and I had no intentions of telling her, we would be bound forever.
My life force would bring her back from that edge of death. She would always in one way or another be bound to me. That was the ritual of the Angel Kiss. And it was usually used on loved ones. It was a sacred and old gift, to use it on someone filled with demons was taboo. I pushed away my own sensitive thoughts and grabbed onto her, not letting her walk alone any further. This had been the second time I walked along death with someone. The second time I had performed the ritual. It had been many years since then but it still didn’t prepare me for the serene and dark experience of walking along the edge with someone as they contemplated as to whether they should roll over and dive into the unknown for eternity. I held her hand as she was unaware of me. My light to her darkness. Most would have flashes of memory, of sentiment, laughter, those who they loved. Vivian was... empty. There was nothing that surrounded her other than darkness. She didn’t know the differences between rolling over into the unknown of death and the living. And I wondered if that was because, in a sense, she had already died once.
And then it hit me. As much as I think it rattled and woke her. We were walking together side by side, but I don’t think she noticed me. I sensed her demon cat with us and what it dragged up was one of Vivian’s most sacred and reserved memories. The one that defined her and even she had hidden from herself. The cat with its open eye opened the door and allowed us in. This was Vivian’s trial and the matter which made her choose life or death. And so without realizing it, she stepped me into the memory as she revisited it herself as if watching it for the first time. This was how Vivian had died and been reborn.
“Okay well I shouldn’t be too long. I just have to finish walking Brady and then I’ll be home,” I said to Aiden through the phone as I looked down at the overweight boxer. Big stuff Brady weighed more than me and then some yet he was gentle by nature... maybe too much.
“Alright, well don’t be too long. It’s getting dark and its taco night. Love you,” Aiden said.
“Love you, too,” I smiled and hung up on him. I put my phone in the pocket of my gym pants. I was circling my usual route that I walked most of my clientele’s dogs within this area. It shocked even me that I could make a living out of how many people just didn’t walk their dogs. Some cities used robotic walkers and services but Shabeah was known for its ‘old school’ personal ‘human’ touches.
I looked over the small business that struggled to stay afloat because of its positioning outside the city. I have never lived anywhere but Shabeah. By comparison, visitors had said it was beautiful and glorious but wouldn’t stay for long. This was the demon’s city and any smart human who dwelled here knew to be in before dark. That was just common sense. I nodded and smiled at the older woman who walked past me and turned left in between two of the stores. On my right was the flower shop that I enjoyed viewing the different arrangements and on my left was a bike shop which suspiciously caught my eye every time.
I had no idea how the small shop still survived but the motorbikes in the window sometimes seemed to call to me. As if I would ever ride a bike. Especially considering the price tag that went along with it. Aiden and I were saving to leave Shabeah. We had to if we wanted a serious future and to raise children together. This city had too many incidences to call it safe, even if with the treaty.
I walked around the back alleyway that stood opposite to the train tracks. I looked up at the giant glowing billboard that advertised current beauty trends. No shock that it was one of Haymen’s Guardians, the demon lord who owned this city. She was beautiful and her skin was silk. Her golden locks trailed over her naked body as she advertised a new handbag. A nice signature scribbled ‘Destiny’.
“Is this what we live for Brady?” I asked with a shake of my head and placed my earphone pods back into my ears to listen to music. I followed the back street and passed a rowdy bar. It looked a bit rough and so I always made sure to stay clear of it by walking on the other side of the road.
That little mark of paranoia got the best of me and I found myself for the next mile looking back behind me, swearing that I was being followed. The moment Brady began to growl was when I knew that I was more than likely being tailed. Or maybe I was being paranoid. Still keeping in the open space where others might see me. I tried to call Aiden. It went straight to voicemail.
There’s a point when you know the difference between paranoia and legitimate fear. I was now hitting that mark. Fear rolled over me as I thought about the increase of my dreams I had been having. I never knew what they meant but they terrified me and I always feared that one day, that demon or whatever it was that followed me when I slept would come to get me as always promised. I began to casually jog. Looking behind me now and then to see if they followed. I couldn’t see anyone.
I took a right and jogged up the stairs near the aquatic center. I walked past a younger male who gave me a very charismatic smile. It turned my stomach. I reached the top of the stairs and looked back down but he was no longer there. The hair on my skin rose as I looked around. I could see from this hill the train tracks in front of me and the houses past that. In the distance, the city lights flashed bright. It wasn’t yet dusk but the temperature was dropping. I turned around where I could see cars lined up in the carpark to use the aquatic center. Surely no one would attack me in an open space but my body instinctually said otherwise.
I took one of my earphones out as Brady began barking. There was nothing but terrace in front of me, opposing the greenery that I was surrounded by. I couldn’t see anyone walking out from the Aquarium to give me a sense of security. I tried to shake the chills that ran up my spine but knew something felt wrong. I looked over the terrace again as I began to walk forward. The setting sun was an array of oranges and pinks in the sky. I had that stupid thought that didn’t help my current panic... what if it were the last one I ever saw?
My hurried step stopped as soon as that one changing movement narrowed my focus. I felt as if I had stepped into a square that was ridden with evil and darkness. I was so terrified that I couldn’t step out of it even if I wanted to. Brady barked, his usual calm nature in hysterics and with hackles up.
The laughter surrounded me and vibrated up my spine. Surely someone would come out and help. Surely someone would see. But suddenly all that became irrelevant. I had entered somewhere different, cold and a new place
to the world. I was living in the Demon city. That was all I could think of. Was I being attacked by a demon mid-day? Would I be one of those murdered and splattered as another casualty on newspapers?
“We’ve been looking for you?” the voice said to me and I wanted to drop in terror and cover my ears, hoping that it would go away. I still couldn’t see anything, only hear the voice, the feeling was all too familiar. They have finally found me. My nightmares, they have become real and they’ve found me. I was so terrified that I couldn’t speak.
My eyes widened as an all-black and muscular demon with rows of teeth appeared out of nowhere. I couldn’t look away from it. I stopped breathing and all fighting spirit left me. This was it, I was going to die. My legs trembled as I sobbed. The demon had cornered me. Run. Just run! But I couldn’t move. All I could do was slowly loosen my trembling yet firm grip on Brady’s lead. Run. It’s not here for you. Brady ran for it, and a tear dropped as I was grateful to watch him try and escape. I watched after him making sure he got away safely. Another one of the demons appeared.
“Brady!” I screamed before he was able to leave the square that we were trapped in. I stepped forward to run to him but the demon grabbed him from the side and ripped out his insides. The screeching that came from him forced me to reach a hand to my mouth as I sobbed. Would they rip my insides out? The demon began eating at him, enjoying the splayed guts.
“Stop it!” I screamed and grabbed my phone and pegged it at the demon. I was going to die anyway. I had no weapon to defend myself and not a chance against whatever these things were. But somewhere I mustered up some trembling strength. I had been running away from these demons who followed me in my dreams all my life. I wouldn’t let them so easily take me down, no matter how pathetic that sentiment. One of them lunged for me and I dodged him, tripping over an uneven part in the pavement. How pathetic and predictable. I scurried up to jump out of the way but not in time as it bit into my shoulder and flung me across the pavement.
I screamed in pain clutching at my shoulder. Suddenly all my strength vanished and I was pinned against an invisible wall that barricaded me into this square. One continued to devour Brady as I curled my legs beneath me, trying to get further away from the one that walked towards me.
“We will drag you away and take you to Master.” The voice said again. I couldn’t see the person that spoke but I knew they were close. I could almost feel him standing behind the demon that was about to pounce on me. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. I stared into the black piercing eyes of the demon that was about to rip out my intestines as the other one had done to Brady. Tears spilt down my cheeks. Brady. My life. My everything. Everything was gone. I was soon to be gone.
The demon lunged for me and I covered my face with my arm. It latched on and I screamed as I punched it with my other hand to no avail trying to keep it away. It flung me across the wall again. This time I couldn’t get up. I was in too much pain. My body was shaking and bleeding out. I sobbed as I tried to push myself up. The smell of blood hit my nose, the copper in the air would be the last of my memories. Blood. My death was to be covered in blood.
The demon lunged again and I tried to roll away. A loud crash interfered and I could almost feel the walls that kept me barricaded in being broken down. A darkness swept around me and lashed out at the demon before it could lunge at me again. It yelped and was flung into oblivion. It had literally vanished into nothing. The darkness that swept around me snaked in a blanket and I was more terrified of it then I was the demons who had been attacking me.
A beautiful man appeared in front of me. Porcelain skin, with contrasted black hair and well dressed. I recognized him straight away, had seen images and articles on him. Haymen Davolch, the demon lord of Shabeah. Waves of darkness pooled from him as he turned and those icy blue eyes that screamed terror turned to me.
He leaned down and ignored my bleeding arms. His intensity made me uncomfortable but I was going to die anyway so I didn’t look away.
“Why do they want you?” he asked me in a voice that vibrated through me and enticed me to a place I could never understand. When he spoke, it was almost like he was coaxing me into a world filled with evil and lust. I couldn’t speak and felt his waves of darkness rub up against me as if trying to pry open the answer himself.
The second demon lunged for his back and in mid-air the darkness wrapped around him and the demon exploded. Blood splattered everywhere and I shook, the scream unable to leave me as its blood coated my face. I could feel my life draining from me. I looked down at my shredded arms and realized that my injuries were a lot worse than I had realized. I was shaking and cold, too scared and pumping with adrenalin to have noticed.
Even if it felt like Haymen and I had stolen a moment, it took me away from the reality of my death. I choked and spluttered red. I looked down at my blood coated front. This was it. I was going to die. I looked back at the predator who gazed at me through blue eyes.
With no consideration of fear anymore because I knew I was already dying, I looked at the most powerful man in front of me and thought of the only way I would want to go out facing such a demon. With a smartass comment. “The scowl is a bit too much wouldn’t you say?” I coughed out another patch of blood that didn’t reach him and keeled over. Instead of falling to my side the darkness that oozed out of him seemed to support me.
“I could give you another life,” he said, in that voice that was coaxing. “There is something about you that draws them to you. You will be of service to me,” he said.
“I don’t want it,” I panted through a coarse breath. My body slowly became irrelevant to me as the surroundings began to swirl in colors of orange and pink. “I’m done with being hunted,” and that was the truth I had never been able to admit that to anyone else out loud. No one knew what I have suffered or what I see when I sleep. No one could protect me from it and all my life it scared me. Finally, they have come for me and a part of me was relieved to know that I could die instead of the graphic unknown that they tried to show me so many times before. At least this way, I could die as me. “I finally get to be free.”
He smirked at my dying words and pressed his lips against mine. It was fiery and demanding and my body could only react. He stared into my eyes as I did his. He pulled away and licked my blood from his lips. What a sinister man to force himself on a dying woman. Not man–demon.
“So, you’ve returned,” is all he said before dark needles, no his darkness pierced into me and raped me of the person I had once been. I screamed as everything I knew, loved, and felt, was taken from me and darkness filled the void that would remain. The last thing I saw was his blue eyes before languages and demons crept from the dark. There was no battering. No denial. They instantly filled me and created my being. I screamed as they merged into my skin making me feel unbearably hot. I couldn’t even see their faces but felt the evil fill me. If I could’ve attempted to claw them out, I would have. But they seeped into my skin as quickly as they had come.
And then there was one... one woman... not woman, but demon that came forth. The odd feeling was that she didn’t enter my body but had only awaken. She was beautiful as she was deadly. And yet I couldn’t see what she looked like. But a part of me knew and felt that she had been the one to react to Haymen’s kiss. That somehow both of them felt... familiar. As soon as she took her place inside of me, my body felt as if it went up in flames and the life I once knew had vanished.
Evil. Lust. Blood. It was all I was and craved. I was a creature of darkness and the only way to creep out of my newborn egg was to tug on the string that was attached to Haymen. It took me the longest of times to creep from that darkness. But slowly I came and was reborn, into the hands of the Master that would never let me go.
I gasped as Vivian pushed me out. As if the doorway that had just been opened was as a shock to her as it was to me. I looked down and noticed that through the ritual I had already resealed her arm. The trace of my light pink lining marred i
t. The completion of the Angel Kiss ritual. Vivian had returned to her human form. Exhausted I leaned back against the hollowness to the inside of the tree. It was dark outside now. I must’ve been doing the ritual for hours.
She was still unconscious. I don’t know what came over me but I pushed back the hair that clung to her sweaty skin. She had spoken the truth, she had never chosen this life for herself. Haymen had forced her into it. And to so intimately feel that violation and life taken from her, I wanted to hug her and so I did. I gave her the hug that she had wanted when she was scared and alone. When everything was being taken from her and she so very much wanted to die.
But she chose now to live, for a second time, accepting my aid in her survival. I could sense the difference of the person she once was and what she had become now. I continued pushing back her hair, almost feeling protective of the girl she had once been. I knew that wasn’t her anymore but something was taken from her and I knew with all my unanswered questions about the interest that I had taken in her, that there were others who still wanted to take more from her. And there was only one person who could answer that. Haymen had a lot to answer for. Vivian might have not realized it at the time but it was the Volv that spoke to her in her dreams when she was human. What was more alarming was the demons that listened and attacked her. Who had been after her and why?
As if on queue, I felt Haymen’s presence teleport in. The shuddering coldness he oppressed every time swept around the tree that we rested on. I pressed my own light against it, not letting it touch Vivian any more than it already had. People died every day and I didn’t care much for humans. But what he did to her was against the treaty and my own personal morals. I was almost disgusted that someone like me, if not any angel was there to protect her against such wrong doing. More pointedly I wish that I had been the one to protect her. And I pushed that uncertain thought into a place I would never touch again. I walked out of the hollowed tree and confronted the demon lord who for years I’ve wanted to kill. And now I felt like any control of doing things ‘correctly’ was a thing of the past.
The Shadow Minds Journal, #1 Page 22