My Now & Forever

by HJ Bellus

  While eating lunch, we were surrounded by geese and various birds. Willow kept throwing them crumbs, so they kept creeping closer to us. She was mainly doing this to freak Lacey out. Lacey was getting highly pissed because she hated birds. Annie was trying to convince one of the large geese to eat out of her hand when we all heard a very squishy, watery splat land on someone’s head. We all peered at each other, trying to figure whose head was just shit on. It only took a moment for us to see the bird shit oozing off of Lacey’s head, down onto her shirt. Willow and I tried to keep a very serious and calm face, because we knew Lacey was about to have one of her classic melt-down tantrums. Annie didn’t care one bit.

  “Aunt Lacey, a bird just pooped on your head!” she said as she wrinkled her nose and started giggling.

  Then it was on - we all started laughing and rolling around on our blanket - even Lacey! Lacey held Annie down, acting like she was going to smear the bird poop on her. We took turns the rest of the day pulling Annie around in her red wagon.

  We spent the night at a hotel and went on a major shopping trip the next day. I was indulging in a little retail therapy. We took Annie to a workshop, where she made several ceramic pieces. It was fun to watch her create with her hands. She made a big coffee mug for me that said, “Milly loves my daddy,” written across it in her handwriting. This girl knew how to melt my heart. After the pottery workshop Lacey added a new piercing to her ear and we all cringed as we watched her get it.

  Being with my girls reminded me that a huge part of my life was missing. It was Cree. I had to trust him, I had no choice. I started to feel a twinge of peace wash over me as I realized I needed him back to be complete me. He wanted me and I needed him - it was that simple. I had to realize that it wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows, and that we would fight. I also had to keep reminding myself he loved me and the others in my life who treated me poorly, didn’t love me.

  ***

  Annie made Cree a welcome home poster that we taped to the front gate. This was the first time she was away from him. When she was in preschool she would go with him on all of his business trips. Now that she was in kindergarten, it wasn’t so easy. We waited on the front porch for his blue Dodge to pull up the lane. We prepared a front porch picnic for his arrival, and passed the time waiting for him playing UNO. The dust cloud was visible before his truck was. Annie zoomed off the porch to the gate, jumping up and down. The tension between Cree and I, and him being gone for two days had been hard on her. She needed her normal back. Cree lurched out of his truck and scooped up his Annie up in his strong arms. I watched from the porch and wondered how this was all going to go down.

  “Daddy we made us a picnic. We was just waiting on you.”

  “You girls read my mind! I am starving. What did you ladies make your Captain?”

  “Subs, potato salad and fwuit punch.”

  “MMMM! Let’s dig in.”

  Annie remained on her father’s lap while they both at their dinner off of the same plate. Cree told Annie all about the tractors and new innovations at the convention. He looked over at me and said,

  “Why aren’t you eating?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Milly hasn’t been eating much daddy! Willow keeps telling her she needs to eat.”

  “I agree with Aunt Willow,” Cree mumbled.

  I stuck my tongue out at both of them and snatched Cree’s half-eaten sub from his plate. Their chatter started back up with Annie filling Cree in on her school days and dance lessons. She even told Cree about Willow setting an oven mitt on fire last night in the kitchen, and Lacey being pulled over for speeding. She even included the detail of Lacey flashing her boobs to a state cop trying to get out of a speeding ticket on the way home from Denver. Cree was listening intently and playing on his phone. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Coincidence? Nope!

  Cree: You’re here

  Me: I am

  Cree: Do you remember how to smile?

  Me: ( Yep

  Cree: I love you…I miss my Dolly

  Here goes nothing! Dig up your courage Milly - to grab what you want, even if it scares the ever loving piss out of you. GO!

  Me: I love you too my sexy lil captain!

  Cree: I am so sorry! I will never hurt you again.

  Me: I know…I love you

  And deep down, I did know.

  Me: I need you in my life.

  Cree: I need you too. I was wrong…she is yours…I’m yours.

  Cree played with Annie until it was time for bed. We all sat on the couch huddled together like we were meant to be. We watched one quick episode of SpongeBob before Cree ushered the princess to bed. I watched him tuck her in with a happy heart. He followed me down to the kitchen, and there it was - the dreaded dead silence. It was the kind of awkward silence that sucked ass. Neither of knew how to act or what to say, in fear of starting another fight. It was almost like we were scared to ruin our new-found peace.

  “I have to finish planting a field.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “I want you to go with me.”

  “Deal!”

  I bounded upstairs to change clothes. I found a cute loose fitting short skirt and dug around for a top. I couldn’t find anything that jumped right out at me. So, I put on my black chevron print bikini top. What the hell! It was 10:30 and dark outside, and we really needed a good ice-breaker. Lacey was on the couch catching up on some TV when I went back downstairs to meet Cree.

  “Hey Lacey, I’m going out with Cree for a while. Will you listen for Annie?”

  “Jesus! Go get laid already! You need a little ‘dick-in-sider’ because frankly my dear, you have been a royal twat lately. Nice fucking outfit by the way, hoochie momma”

  “Thanks ho bag!!!"

  “No problem, come guzzler!” God I should’ve never admitted to her that I swallowed!

  I found Cree in the kitchen talking on his phone. I tried really really, really hard to control myself and be good while he talked shop on the phone. He was talking to Greyson and I was trying like hell to be patient and wait my turn. Cree was fumbling with his iPad while talking, never noticing my appearance.

  Oh, fuck it! I couldn’t resist him any longer. I flew across the kitchen and jumped up into his arms. The iPad flew to the ground, and thankfully I landed wrapped tightly around him. He craned his head to one side to hold his cell phone between his ear and shoulder, so both hands could hold onto my ass. He started chuckling and gripped my ass tighter in his hands. And the race was on! I bent down to his lips and devoured them. I hadn’t felt his lips in almost a week. Cree didn’t hold back - he snuck his tongue in my mouth, exploring every inch. I let out a loud moan into his mouth as I bit down on his bottom lip.

  “Yeah, I am here. No, nothing is wrong. What were you saying?”

  I started at his collarbone and licked my way up to his ear. My left hand found its way down between us, and I grabbed onto him. Cree adjusted his hold, gripping my ass even tighter.

  His eye lit up and without thinking he blurted, “You aren’t wearing any panties!”

  He hung up his phone and slung it across the kitchen. The black iPhone shattered as it skidded across the marble floor. He then took two steps over to the island and placed me down on it. Without saying a word, he slid his hand slowly up the inside of my thigh. I threw my head back and rejoiced in his touch. He pulled on my bikini top to expose one nipple and wasted no time going to work on it.

  I arched back even further, forcing my boobies into his face as his tongue swirled around my sensitive bud. I felt his finger brush down my sex. He stroked his fingers up and down a couple of times before he found my clit. With one finger inside of me and the other rubbing my clit, I started to ride his hand to find my release. He bit down on my nipple hard with his teeth as he let out a loud moan.

  “Jesus fucking Christ! You two seriously need to move your freak show somewhere else, pronto!”

  Willow walked in on us, in the kitchen as I
was riding her brother’s hand. It doesn’t get more busted than that!

  Cree scooped me up as I buried my head in his neck and groaned, “I was so fucking close. Why did you stop Captain?”

  “Really?” Willow said. “I am going to have to go bleach my eyeballs now. Thank you very much.”

  “Settle down Willow! I have to finish planting a field. We will finish our business in the tractor. The bleach is under the sink, by the way.”

  Cree turned for the door and I made spurring actions with my legs into Cree’s ass and hollered,

  “Giddy up, Captain!”

  “Fucking freak show!”

  We never made it to the tractor. I kept begging for him to stop the truck. He finally pulled over and laid back his seat. I pulled myself up on top of him, straddling his thighs.

  “I need you now, Cree.”

  I unzipped his pants. Without saying a word, I buried myself in Cree. The sensation of Cree was overwhelming. I rode him with an urgency I have never felt before.

  “Milly, I am so sorry. I will never hurt you again. I hate myself for hurting you.”

  Tears flowed down his face as he brushed the bruise on my shoulder. I stopped moving on top of him and wiped away his tears.

  “I know, baby. We are passionate people and love deeply. Sometimes being so passionate can hurt and leave scars, but that’s who we are. I trust you Cree. I trust you with everything.”

  Cree gripped my hips in his hands and started plunging in and out of me at a relentless speed. Screams escaped my throat. He sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist as I started to squeeze tighter around him. Cree grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked backwards on it, burying his face in my exposed throat. I could feel his hot wet tears sliding down my neck and getting lost between our two bodies that had melted together. We were both completely clothed, but in that moment, we were exposing our most naked fears, hopes and dreams to each other. With one last thrust, we let go together.

  Chapter 24

  Wine and Eggs

  We had big plans for Easter! First on the agenda, the town’s Easter egg hunt at the park by the lake. The Shop was sponsoring the Easter egg hunt this year. Willow and I stuffed over four hundred plastic eggs with candy, small toys and money for a freaking week. We also stuffed four golden eggs with a hundred dollar bill in each one. We separated the park into different age divisions and scattered out the eggs.

  Annie was quite upset that she couldn’t be right by my side through this process. Cree and Lacey brought Annie to the park for the hunt. She was so cute in her pink dress and her knitted beanie, with her wild little braided pig tails peeking out on each side. Being the typical over-eager dad, Cree had to coach Annie on the art of hunting Easter eggs. He was down on his knees with his hat on backwards, stressing the importance of speed and precision when hunting eggs. I snapped a quick picture. It was definitely a wall paper-worthy snapshot of the two. Then the fire truck sounded, and the children scattered everywhere. I had to stomp on Cree’s foot to keep him from chasing after Annie.

  “You are such a good dad!”

  He bent down and kissed my head.

  “I could have doubled the quantity of eggs if you would have let me follow her.”

  “You are terrible. I never pictured you as the obnoxious parent who pushes down other kids.”

  “Hey, anything for my girls and you know that!”

  Annie came bounding back to us with her basket overflowing with eggs. The three of us sat on the grass, cracked open each egg, and admired the treasure in each one. In typical Cree fashion, he stole all of her Snickers. We ate lunch together at the local burger joint, and then Cree kissed us goodbye and went back to the farm.

  We spent the rest of the afternoon at Lacey’s salon, getting our hair trimmed and our toes polished. We fixed a simple dinner that night at the house. Greyson joined us for dinner and the evening’s festivities. Willow had planned an Easter egg hunt in the dark with flashlights. She was pretty revved up about this, claiming it was something she always wanted to do when she was younger. We used our decorated hard-boiled eggs for the hunt.

  I volunteered to help Cree hide eggs, but I was immediately vetoed. They all claimed that we would get distracted in the dark. They were probably right. So Cree and Greyson hid the eggs, while we strapped headlamps to our foreheads. We looked absolutely ridiculous. Willow had even bought all of us matching Easter baskets. We giggled as we all ran through the yard, chasing eggs as Annie called it. I let Cree be the obnoxious parent this time. He had fun pushing us out of the way to snag an egg for his Annie. At one point, he tackled Willow to the ground so Annie could steal the eggs out her basket.

  Annie set out a plate of carrots and a glass of orange juice, along with her letter to the Easter bunny. Cree carried her over to me, so she could pepper her kisses all over me. We whispered our, “I love yous” to each other, and then Cree hauled her little hiney upstairs to tuck her in.

  “Okay, so we need to stuff all these eggs. I want to make a trail from Annie’s bed to her basket. Willow, you can put together all the baskets. And Lacey keep our wine glasses filled, biotch.”

  “You’re quite the bossy ho-bag tonight,” Lacey chirped as she went into the kitchen for more wine.

  “Damn straight - head ho is up here in the house tonight.”

  Greyson and Willow just shook their heads at our smartass remarks. I spread out on the couch and started my mini assembly line of stuffing eggs. I had bought special eggs for each person. Cree returned, carrying two beers and shaking his head from side to side.

  “Holy hell! Did you clear out the aisle at the grocery store, Milly?”

  “Maybe. I was a little excited for this.”

  Cree plopped down on the couch amongst all the candy, bubbles and toys. He started stuffing eggs with me. We stuffed eggs, drank, and drank a little more. Before I knew it, Cree was passed out in my lap snoring with Snickers wrappers all around him. Greyson was passed out in the recliner. The boys weren’t drunk - they were passed out from sheer exhaustion. Us girls were going strong; drinking our wine and giggling away, stuffing eggs and wrapping baskets. Leave it to Lacey to scheme up an evil plan.

  “Let’s put make-up on the boys!”

  “Not Cree! I may want to seduce him later, and I’m thinking blue eye shadow may be a mood killer.”

  “Okay, Greyson then!”

  Willow sprinted to get her make-up bag. We caked the make-up on poor Greyson. We glittered his eyelids with hot pink eye shadow, dabbed blush on his strong cheek bones, and traced his lips with Annie’s purple lipstick! Lacey begged to shave an eye brow, but Willow drew the line. We added a hot pink flower to his hair and put a cute fluffy bunny under his arm to finish him off! Lacey took several pictures of him while we giggled so hard we nearly peed our pants. Okay, if I am being honest, I peed a little.

  “Okay, let’s get these eggs laid out around the house before we can’t walk anymore.”

  “One more glass of wine,” Willow protested and we all agreed.

  “Toast. We need to toast,” Lacey demanded.

  “To my family that I never had, but always dreamed of. I love you now and forever hookers!” I proclaimed.

  We clanked our glasses together and chugged! We snuck up to Annie’s room and started her trail of eggs that led to her basket. Then we made one from Cree’s room, one from Willow’s room and one from the guest room. We were hoping that Greyson’s trail of eggs would come as some sort of apology in the morning.

  Willow woke up Greyson and led him to the guest room. If I was a betting woman, I would bet she may have forgotten to make it to her own room. I waltzed my way over to the couch, giggling from the sweetness of the wine buzzing in my body. I crawled up on Cree rubbing on him everywhere.

  “Captain, it’s time to go to bed! The bunny won’t come if you stay out here.”

  “MMMM…Milly.”

  “C’mon Captain.”

  I started kissing his neck and grinding my crotc
h down on his, trying to wake him up.

  “If you can make it up to the bedroom, I will give you a surprise.”

  “Give it to me here.”

  Cree was playing hard to get. I sat back up on his thighs and started doing a little strip tease, and then stopped before I pulled my top off over my head. He popped open one eye to peek and then snapped his eye closed, pretending to sleep. I slid my hand down beneath my boy shorts, throwing my head back moaning when my fingers hit my lady bits. I won! The boy was wide awake now!

  “Let me touch.”

  “Nope not until you get your ass up to your bed.”

  I started grinding against my hand, bumping into Cree’s erection that was hidden under his jeans. He gripped my hips and started helping me ride him.

  “You are such a naughty little pirate.”

  “Oh honey, you are so drunk and I am so going to take advantage of you tonight.”

  He was right! I would never be straddled on top of him playing with myself sober. God bless liquid courage! I kept grinding against my hand, sitting on top of Cree. He kept his hands on each one of my hips guiding me to my release. The only sounds that could be heard were my moans, his naughty encouragements and the rain pounding the house when I finally let go.

  “Dolly, let’s go out on the porch. I want you out there.”

  “Who am I to argue?”

  We did all kinds of naughty things on the porch while the rain poured down. He carried me back to the bedroom two hours later, crunching plastic eggs on the way.

  Cree and I woke up before anyone else and started cooking breakfast together. We haven’t had much time to just be together, without worrying about our jobs or our girl. This morning was perfect because it was just us in his kitchen. I was sitting on the counter flipping pancakes and Cree was busy frying bacon shirtless upon my request. When we heard Annie rustling around upstairs, we crept out into the hall to peer up the stairs.

  “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! The bunny left eggs in my room!”

  We watched her gather up all her eggs as she made her way down the stairs. Her eyes lit up when she saw the huge basket waiting for her by her toy box in the living room. I made plates for both of them as Cree sorted through Annie’s basket with her. Lacey was up and joined them in the living room, snapping pictures of the duo.