by Elle Spencer
Waiting for You
Synopsis
Have you ever met someone and felt like you’ve known them in a thousand different lifetimes?
Lindsay Hall was a high school senior when she and her friend Patty discovered peach schnapps, listened to a past-life hypnosis CD, and got an up-close look at who she once was. And who she used to love. The knowledge of her past life has always haunted Lindsay. As her ex is happy to point out, it’s gotten in the way of her relationships too. Even her teenage daughter has politely suggested that she “get the eff over it.” Except she didn’t say eff.
Ren Christopher just wants a quick break before she starts a new job in Paris. She’s just extracted herself from a not-brief-enough, drama-filled relationship. A few weeks relaxing and hanging with her old college friend Deb is just what the doctor ordered. No pressure, no expectations, and absolutely no drama.
Everything is perfect until Lindsay faints at the sight of Ren.
Praise for Elle Spencer
30 Dates in 30 Days
“Spencer is adept at dropping an emotional bombshell at just the right time for maximum impact. She adds her own brand of flair, making the romance formula feel new and fresh.”—Lesbian Review
“I’m an Elle Spencer fan. I want to say that this was surprisingly good, but I guess I shouldn’t really be that surprised. She generally delivers on everything I love about reading romance. Feelings, chemistry, conflict, angst, tears, and happiness. The characters were likable. Fun situations. Great chemistry. A slow burn romance that satisfies in the end.”—Bookvark
“As usual with Spencer, the characters are wonderfully layered and flawed, [and] the chemistry is out of this world.”—Jude in the Stars
“Spencer imbues the story with some great humour and witty banter that brings the characters to life, and the romance works wonderfully. I really enjoyed this one–it hit all the right notes for me and left me with a bit of an aw, shucks smile on my face when I finished.”—C-Spot Reviews
“Ms. Spencer knows how to build the tension so thick that you could cut it with a proverbial knife. The intimate scenes are really hot…Overall, a clever, funny and light romance with great chemistry and a superb cast.”—LezReviewBooks
Private Equity (in Hot Ice)
“This story had a lot of heart and quite a bit of depth for so little time. This was the strongest among the three novellas.”—Bookvark
The Road to Madison
“The story had me hooked from its powerful opening scene, and it only got better and better. I feel like Spencer tailored this book just for me. For anyone who has read my reviews, it’s no secret that I love romances that include lots of angst, and The Road to Madison hit the bull’s-eye.”—The Lesbian Review
“Elle Spencer weaves a tale full of sadness, remorse but one filled with those little moments that make you have the flutters. Her characters are well developed, the dialogue is seamless and natural, you really get thrown right into Madison and Anna’s world. You feel what they feel. This book grabbed my attention and had me turning the pages through the night. A delightful story that I thoroughly enjoyed. I cannot wait for the next adventure Elle Spencer takes me on.”—Romantic Reader Blog
“Elle Spencer is fast becoming one of my favourite authors. She transports me into the story and I feel like I’m living vicariously through the characters.”—Les Rêveur
Unforgettable
“Across both novellas, Elle Spencer delivers four distinct, compelling leads, as well as interesting supporting casts that round out their stories. If you like angsty romances, this is the book for you! Both stories pack a punch, with so much ‘will they or won’t they’ that I kind of wondered how they’d turn out (yes, even though it’s marketed as romance!)”—The Lesbian Review
“I was stunned at how Elle Spencer manages to make the reader feel so much and we end up really caring for the women in her novels…This book is perfect for those times you want to wallow in romance, intense feelings, and love. Elle Spencer does it so well.”—Kitty Kat’s Book Review Blog
Casting Lacey
“The characters have a chance to really get to know each other, becoming friends and caring for each other before their feelings turn romantic. It also allows for a whole lot of angst that keeps things interesting. Casting Lacey is a compelling, sexy, angsty romance that I highly recommend to anyone who’s into fake relationship books or celebrity romances. It kept me sucked in, and I’m looking forward to seeing more from Elle Spencer in the future.”—The Lesbian Review
“This is a very good debut novel that combines the fake girlfriend trope with celebrity lifestyle…The characters are well portrayed and have off-the-charts chemistry. The story is full of humour, wit, and saucy dialogues but also has angst and drama. I think that the book is at its best in the humorous parts which are really well written…an entertaining and enjoyable read.”—Lez Review Books
“This is the romance I’ve been recommending to everyone and her mother since I read it, because it’s basically everything I’ve been dying to find in an f/f romance—funny voices I click with, off-the-charts chemistry, a later-in-life coming out, and a host of fun tropes from fake dating to costars.”—Frolic
Waiting for You
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Please respect the rights of the author and do not file share.
Waiting for You
© 2020 By Elle Spencer. All Rights Reserved.
ISBN 13: 978-1-63555-636-0
This Electronic Original Is Published By
Bold Strokes Books, Inc.
P.O. Box 249
Valley Falls, NY 12185
First Edition: May 2020
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.
Credits
Editors: Barbara Ann Wright and Stacia Seaman
Production Design: Stacia Seaman
Cover Design by Tammy Seidick
eBook Design by Toni Whitaker
By the Author
Casting Lacey
Unforgettable
The Road to Madison
30 Dates in 30 Days
Waiting for You
Hot Ice
(with Aurora Rey and Erin Zak)
Acknowledgments
As always, thanks to Rad, Sandy, and the entire Bold Strokes team for all of your hard work and support. I couldn’t ask for a better publishing experience.
Thanks to my awesome editor, Barbara Ann Wright, for making each book better, and for getting me and my writing.
I’m grateful for the support I’ve found in this writing community and the authors who have become friends along the way. Thanks to Carsen, Georgia, Kris, Melissa, Sandy, and so many more for looking out for me, cheering me on, and making me a better writer by what I learn from you every time we’re together.
Sandra, thank you for letting me use Brooke’s name in this book. Hugs forever.
Paula, you’re everything I want to be when I grow up. Please be my BFF in this life and all of the others too. #allthecookies
And to Nikki, who’s been killing it since 2015 and before, and loves me with all her might, I can’t even with how much I love you right back. You and me, baby.
In memory of Brooke Fagundes, who left this world too s
oon.
Prologue
Lindsay woke with a start and nudged Patty. “Wake up.”
“I’m just resting my eyes,” Patty mumbled.
“Patty, wake up.” Lindsay was more forceful this time. Her confusion over what had just happened left her feeling disoriented and vulnerable. And Patty’s insistence that the blinds in her room be closed—“for effect,” as Patty had put it—meant she couldn’t see a damn thing. Lindsay was over it. “I’m not kidding. This whole thing was stupid. Get. Up.”
Patty snorted and smacked her lips together. “But I’m so relaxed.”
Stuck between the wall and Patty’s dead weight, Lindsay scooted to the end of the twin bed and stood. “You won’t be when your dad catches us ditching class.”
Patty bolted up. “What? Is he home? Shit!” She grabbed the bottle of peach schnapps off the nightstand.
“Calm down. No one’s home.” Lindsay took the bottle and gave Patty a gentle push back onto the bed. “All I meant was, it was stupid to do this, this, past life bullshit.” Lindsay yanked on the cord and opened the blinds. The midday sun caused both of them to slap a hand over their eyes.
“God, Linds. You couldn’t just twist the rod like a normal person and gently ease us back into reality?”
Lindsay stomped over to the bed and sat so she could put her shoes on. Maybe they could get back in time for gym class, and she could burn off some of this unexplained anger and frustration. “I’m over it, okay? Let’s get back to school before we get caught.”
“Okay, calm down, crazy person. At least we got a nap in before the party tonight. And since when are you dying to get back to that shithole they call a learning institution? We’re so above that place.”
Lindsay never should’ve gone along with Patty on this one. She’d humored her before with the Ouija board and the tarot cards, but when they found a set of past life regression CDs at a tag sale, Lindsay should’ve never agreed to buy them. “No nap for me. Just…”
Patty sat up again. “Just what?”
Lindsay leaned over and rested her face in her hands. It all felt so real, but that didn’t make any more sense than watching the Ouija spell out “Satan.” Because of course that was what it would spell for two girls who were looking for a cheap thrill in the form of a good, hair on the back of your neck standing on end, scare. It took Lindsay a whole month before she could sleep without her lamp on. She eased back up and turned so they were face-to-face. “I don’t know for sure. Maybe it was just a dream.”
“While you weren’t napping?” Patty raised her eyebrows. “Tell me.”
Lindsay felt embarrassed. She’d never thought of herself as bisexual, but this was Patty, her best friend in the whole world, who definitely had a thing for girls. If she couldn’t tell Patty what had happened, who could she tell? “Okay, listen,” Lindsay said. “I’ll tell you, but only because of our status.”
Patty raised an eyebrow. “Tell me more about this status. Because if we’re a thing and I didn’t even know it, I’m going to kill myself.”
“Our BFF status, dummy. I trust you to keep this between us.”
Patty zipped her lips and threw away the key. “I got you, boo.”
“Okay, here goes nothing.” She took a deep breath and said, “I was in love. Madly in love. With the most beautiful girl.”
“You were in love with a girl!” Patty squealed with excitement.
“Not a girl. A woman. We were both grown-ups.”
“Like grown-up, grown-up? Like, old?”
“I don’t know. Like, in our late twenties, maybe. Thirties?” Lindsay covered her face with her hands. “It felt so real. I can still smell the smoke.”
“Smoke? Was there a fire?”
“On her breath,” Lindsay said. “When she kissed me.”
Patty’s eyes widened. “Oh. Was it gross?”
“Not like that time Eric Brown kissed me after he’d smoked half a pack at Fly’s house. That was like licking an ashtray.”
“Not the smoking, dork. Kissing a girl. Was it weird?”
Lindsay shook her head. “Not at all.” She took in a deep breath and covered her chest with her hands. Just thinking about it made her heart beat faster. “We were so in love, but people wouldn’t leave us alone.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. I just felt like people were, you know, after us.” She shrugged. “It’s hard to explain, but all the feelings were there except everything was blurry. Everything except her. Roo.”
“Roo? As in, kangaroo? I’m kinda getting confused here, Linds.”
“I don’t know. I guess. I mean, that’s how she wrote it. R-O-O.” Lindsay understood Patty’s confusion. How could she make sense of it when Lindsay couldn’t find the right words to express how real it all was? The passion. The fear. The longing. The heartbreak. Words failed her in that moment.
“Okay,” Patty said. “So you’re dreaming about making out with a chick, and people are after you, and she’s, what? Signing autographs? So she’s famous. Cool. And—”
“It was a letter,” Lindsay interrupted.
“What?”
“I was holding a letter in my hand. She signed it, ‘I will love you forever. Always, Roo.’”
Patty tilted her head. “What kind of a name is that for a girl?”
“Or anyone.” Was she making this up? How had her mind conjured up such a silly name for such a beautiful woman? “Maybe it’s a nickname. How should I know?”
Patty put a hand on her arm. “But you loved her?”
She had to hold back tears. “With all my heart,” she whispered. “Yeah. I loved her.”
“Wow, Linds. Your past life was way more interesting than mine.”
“I’m pretty sure you slept through yours.” Lindsay gave her a slug on the arm. “Besides, in this life there’s no Roo, just Ben.”
“Who you haven’t done more than kiss yet.”
Lindsay shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll go all the way tonight.”
“Ha! You’re too much of a prude.”
Lindsay scowled. “I am not.”
“Linds, I adore you, but you just used the phrase ‘go all the way’ to refer to sex with your boyfriend. You, my innocent child, are a prude.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Would it be cooler if I talked about banging him?”
“Not until he asks you to go steady and gives you his class ring to wear around your neck. You don’t wanna be known as the school hussy.”
“I hate you.”
Patty got off the bed. “Hussy.” She bolted out of the room, laughing. “Hussy, hussy, hussy!”
Lindsay heard the bathroom door slam. She would’ve chased her, but her thoughts went back to that smoky kiss. And a girl named Roo.
Chapter One
The eyes seemed right.
Or were they? Lindsay took a step back from the painting she’d worked on through the night. A woman this time.
It had been months since she’d painted the young boy who’d come to her in her dreams so many years ago. His face had never been as clear as the woman who now stared back at her. He was more of an impression on the canvas. Cloudy. Muddled. Unrecognizable. But still someone she felt compelled to bring to life. She loved him. She loved him the way she loved Brooke. Not as much, not really, but still. She felt his absence in the way she felt Brooke’s when soccer practice ran late, or she was out on a date. He was somehow missing from her life.
Lindsay glanced at the paintings stacked against the wall of her backyard studio. All were of the boy. None would bring any money unless she took them to the local gallery. She’d reached the point where she was no longer a starving artist, but she had to sell paintings to keep doing what she loved. That meant selling ones she didn’t want to. She’d sold enough over the years to know the boy could define her as an artist. According to some critics, he already had:
“A strangely relatable, yet transcendent look into a young man’s mind.”
“Hall seems
to reject the notions of time and space, instead delivering something so indescribable one can only call it love.”
“In an age of pointless portraits, aka selfies, what could be more meaningful than the portrait of the boy who doesn’t exist? Who is this Timmy? And why do we want to know him so desperately?”
Every time she took a painting of him in, it broke her heart a little. She only did it when she had to.
“Mom?”
Lindsay jumped at the sound of Brooke’s voice behind her. “Yes, honey?”
“Did you get up early? Who’s she? We’re out of yogurt. Dad’s picking me up in ten, and I haven’t eaten anything.”
Curious. Inquisitive. Accusatory. Dependent. Obviously, Brooke was a teenager. And lately, she had been killing it with the hard-done-by teenager act. If they didn’t have the particular thing she wanted for breakfast, she considered the fridge and cupboards empty. “Have a bowl of cereal,” Lindsay said.
“I can’t eat a bowl of cereal in the car. You know how Dad drives.”
“Explain to me again how you’re old enough to go to Europe alone, but you can’t work out breakfast.”
“Mom,” she said with that charmingly exasperated tone Lindsay had to work hard not to laugh at. “It’s a senior trip. No one’s going anywhere alone.”
“Oh good. Then the whole show choir can wander around Europe together wondering what’s for breakfast.”