by Elle Spencer
“He started his own tech company and sold it for fifty million. He’s got a five-year-old daughter, so his arsenal of dad jokes is impressive.”
Ren put her hand on Lindsay’s waist. “You’re so talented, Linds. I can see why you have a waiting list.”
Lindsay stepped over to the painting of the woman. “Tell me about her.”
Ren took another look. “She’s vibrant. I can almost feel her enthusiasm. Her excitement for life. She looks like she’s falling in love.” She turned. “Am I right?” Lindsay seemed nervous. Afraid, almost. “Linds? Who is she?” And then Ren realized who the woman in the painting was.
“It’s going to sound crazy, just like all of the time travel, parallel worlds, up is down, and down is up stuff that comes out of Hollywood,” Lindsay said.
Ren put up her hands. “Wait. I need to tell you something. I should’ve told you right when I walked in the door.”
“Told me what?”
“Ben told me some things.”
Lindsay furrowed her brow. “Things? What things?”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care.” She took a step and reached for Lindsay, but she backed away. Ren pointed at the painting. “Is that Roo?”
Lindsay stiffened. Her expression darkened. “He had no right.”
“I know. He made it sound like he was telling me for my own good, but I think he had other motives.”
“No shit. How long have you known?”
“He told me this afternoon. On my way here.”
“Wow.” Lindsay looked as if she’d just been slapped. “Just wow.” She pushed past Ren and rushed out of the studio.
“Lindsay!” Ren went after her. “Lindsay, stop, and tell me if what he said is true.”
Lindsay turned back. “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re worried about the truth now?” She shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d talked to Ben? Why did you just have sex with me, knowing full well that my ex-husband shared something that wasn’t his to share?”
“I wanted…” Ren took a deep breath. “I wanted you.”
“Oh. You wanted me. Seems perfectly reasonable. Sex first, transparency second.”
Ren didn’t know what to say.
“This is a big deal to me, Ren. It’s had a huge effect on my life. Yes, I believe I’ve lived before. In another time. With someone I loved.”
“And why wouldn’t you tell me? Instead, I’ve got Patty asking me random questions about past life crap.”
“Crap? This is my life. Patty said those things because she wanted to gauge your reaction. I didn’t ask her to do that, but that rarely stops Patty.”
“So she wanted to know how I’d react to finding out you think I’m someone you knew before?”
Lindsay shook her head. “It’s not just that I think you’re someone I once knew. I know you are…were…Roo.”
Ren didn’t know what to say to make it okay for both of them. She couldn’t pretend that it all made perfect sense to her. And it worried her that Lindsay seemed as caught up in the past as the present. Would she have to compete for Lindsay’s attention? “I don’t know what to say, Linds. I have a great time with you. I really like you—”
“A great time? That’s what this has been about? Just sex? I think you should leave.” Lindsay started toward the house.
“You didn’t let me finish!” Ren shouted. “Shit.”
Ren went back into the studio and shut the door. It was too cold to stand outside, and she didn’t know how to fix this with Lindsay. She should’ve done the right thing and brought it up the minute Ben and Brooke left the house. But, no. She’d wanted Lindsay again. That was priority one. Could she be a bigger asshole? Not likely.
She heard the back door slam shut again, but she couldn’t see anyone. And then, she spotted her jacket sitting on the doorstep. “Great. That’s just great.”
* * *
It was too cold to be outside, but Ren didn’t want the kids to see her tears. They had enough going on in their lives. She borrowed one of Deb’s heavy winter coats and a grabbed a beanie out of the communal box of winter hats, then snuck out the back door.
She opened the gas valve and lit the fire pit. It would keep her feet warm while she tried to pull herself together. She’d fallen hard for Lindsay. Harder than she even realized until it seemed like it was over. Was it over? Ren didn’t know for sure.
The screen door slammed. Ren thought it might be Deb walking toward her. She found herself hoping it was Lindsay. She stood and was about to call to her when Corey said, “Ren? I thought you had a date with Lindsay.”
Corey came into view when she got close enough to the fire. “You shouldn’t be out here, Corey. It’s too cold.”
“I brought a blanket for us.” Corey pulled the two-seater Adirondack chair closer to the fire and patted the spot next to her. Ren sat, and Corey wrapped the blanket around them. She snuggled in close and rested her head on Ren’s shoulder. “Brooke’s really happy about you two. She said her mom lights up when you’re around.”
“Eh, maybe not so much tonight.”
Corey looked at her intently. “Oh, crap. What did you do?”
She ran her hand over Corey’s hair. “Do you ever wish you could turn back time about five minutes and get a do-over?”
“Um, you realize who you’re talking to, right? I’m the girl who gets the ‘made horrible choices when a cute boy winked at me’ award.”
“Sorry,” Ren said. “I don’t mean to steal your thunder.”
Corey laughed. “Thanks. It’s been fun wearing the stupidest girl on earth crown, but I’d gladly hand it over to you.”
Ren kissed her forehead. “I think I probably deserve it tonight.”
“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad. Besides, Lindsay is the sweetest. Just take her a bag of chocolate covered cinnamon bears. They’re her favorite.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Tell me about Brooke’s dad. What is he like?”
“He’s been a total jerk to Lindsay since the divorce. So has Brooke, but I think she’s being a jerk to both of them. I hate when she does it in front of me, though. I love Lindsay. She’s the coolest mom ever. Next to my mom, of course.” Corey raised her head. “Also, she’s really pretty. You guys make a super cute couple.”
Ren smiled. “She is pretty. So pretty I might lose all of my brains.”
Corey gave her a serious look. “Just don’t take off your ‘I’m going to Paris’ crown. Not everybody gets a chance like that.”
“No. My ‘I’m going to Paris’ crown is firmly attached to my head. It’s just that I didn’t expect to fall for someone in Salt Creek. That was definitely not in the plans.”
“Ha. Like you had a choice.” She wrapped her arms around Ren. “I’m so happy for you. We should have a party or something.”
Ren held on to Corey’s shoulders and looked her in the eye. “What do you mean I had no choice?”
“You know, because of the Roo is Ren, and Ren is Roo thing.”
So literally everyone on earth knew about this except Ren. “Corey, does your mom know about this?”
Corey shook her head. “Brooke swore me to secrecy.”
That was a relief. Ren wasn’t sure how she’d feel if Deb had kept this information from her too.
“Okay,” Corey said. “Now don’t forget. Lindsay likes chocolate covered cinnamon bears. I know, it’s weird, but we all have our little idiosyncrasies, right?”
“Right.” Except Lindsay’s idiosyncrasy had nothing to do with her taste in sweets and everything to do with the gigantic elephant in the room. Ren stood and put out her hand. “Let’s go inside and warm up.”
Chapter Twelve
Patty opened a cardboard box. She pulled out some dust masks and earplugs and handed them out. “Put these in your ears.”
Mrs. Stokely leaned in and said, “I tried to convince her not to do this. Sometimes, things should be left as they are.” She looked at Lindsay’s shoes. “Good thing you’re wearin
g closed toe shoes. There could be a rodent stampede when that wall comes down.” She put the mask over her mouth and mumbled something unintelligible.
Lindsay cringed. A rodent stampede? Maybe Mrs. Stokely was just testing her mettle. Seeing if she’d bolt out of there before a single nail was pried loose. Well, that wasn’t happening. Unless there really were rodents. In that case, she’d definitely bolt, and heaven help anyone who got in her way. She put her earplugs in and watched Patty and Mrs. Stokely do the same. She waited for Patty to reach in the box again, but she didn’t. “Don’t you have any safety glasses? My eyes get irritated easily,” she yelled.
Patty shook her head and yelled back, “Did you just ask if we’re having martinis?”
Lindsay threw her hands in the air, then grabbed her sunglasses out of her purse. She’d hoped for a hands-on experience. Breaking down a fake wall with a sledgehammer sounded like a good prescription for all of the hurt that had welled up inside her. She was angry at Ren for being so dismissive. Ben for tattling like a teenager. And Brooke for actually being a teenage tattler. She pulled her mask down and shouted, “Do you happen to have a sledgehammer in your box?” Patty’s look of surprise let Lindsay know she was forming some sort of dirty interpretation of the question, so she waved her hand. “Never mind.”
The three of them stood side by side and watched the handyman remove the screws in the plywood. Lindsay still had no idea how she knew what was behind that fake wall, but she’d be shocked if she turned out to be wrong.
The first piece of plywood came down, and dust flew everywhere. Patty and Mrs. Stokely turned away, but Lindsay stood firm in her dark sunglasses and dust mask. “Told you,” she said. Of course, no one heard her.
She didn’t wait for the next piece to fall. Once the dust settled a bit, she got closer. It was still pitch-black back there, but she took a step in anyway. She lifted her sunglasses and realized it wasn’t so dark after all. Duh. And there were the words painted in distinct black writing with an arrow pointing to the right. Ladies Dressing Room.
Lindsay’s chest tightened. Her pulse quickened. The room started spinning, and she couldn’t seem to pull any air into her lungs. She ripped off the mask and backed out of the opening. Patty was saying something, but she couldn’t hear anything. No air to breathe. No sound. Just dust and panic.
Lindsay stumbled out of the gallery in a desperate search for air. She bent over and took a few shallow breaths. Finally, some air. She was able to cough up some dust and spit it out.
Patty bent down next to her and handed her a bottle of water. “Are you okay, hon?”
Lindsay straightened up and took a sip. “I’m fine.”
Mrs. Stokely handed her a tissue. “You were right, dear. Nothing but dressing rooms back there.”
“I still don’t understand how you could’ve known that,” Patty said.
The images were so clear in Lindsay’s mind. She could see Roo giggling as she led Katie into the dressing rooms. Pointing up at the sign and winking. Skirts being pushed up. Roo against the wall, panting for air. And then screams as Roo was ripped away.
It was more detail than she’d ever had before. It felt as if a few dots had been connected. Roo and Katie had lived in Salt Creek. What a relief it was to have something solid to cling to. But sharing the details of Roo with others hadn’t exactly served her particularly well so far. And maybe now that she knew the truth, it was enough.
Maybe now, she could let Roo go once and for all.
* * *
“This house is fabulous.” Patty looked around in awe. “I can’t believe Mrs. Stokely had such good taste back in the day.”
Mrs. Stokely came out of the kitchen with a tray of coffee and cookies. “It was Millie’s taste. She was the hippie, and I was the good girl who minded her mother and prayed for forgiveness every night.” She stood there with the tray. “How many times do we have to do this before you realize that this tray is heavy, and I’m an old woman?”
“Oh, right.” Lindsay grabbed the tray and set it on the coffee table. “Sorry, Mrs. Stokely.”
“Call me Joyce.” Mrs. Stokely sat and wiped her brow with a handkerchief. “Not you, Patty. I’m still Mrs. Stokely to you.” She winked and then laughed. “I’d lost my sense of humor years ago, but I recently found some of it hiding under the bed.” She laughed again and turned to a framed photo of Millie that Lindsay was pretty sure hadn’t been on the fireplace mantel before. “I expected Ren too. Where is she?”
“Patty came with me today. She’s been dying to see your beautiful home.”
Lindsay hadn’t wanted to make the visit at all. She missed Ren, and she wasn’t in the mood to socialize in a place that held so many memories of their short time together. But Patty had insisted Lindsay go with her.
Patty scanned the room. “It’s so retro. You even have embroidered owls.”
“I stitched those back when my hands worked,” Mrs. Stokely said.
Lindsay poured the coffee. “They still work. You’re still painting, right?”
Mrs. Stokely spread her fingers. “Yes, but it pains me to do so.” She grunted as she tried to straighten them completely. “How is the renovation coming along, dear?”
“It’s going well, but I don’t really understand who would’ve wasted so much space,” Patty said. “I mean, why not do what I’m doing now and tear the dressing rooms out if they weren’t needed anymore?”
“The store didn’t change. They just closed off the dressing rooms to make a point.”
Lindsay set her cup down. Mrs. Stokely knew what had happened? “What are you saying, exactly?”
“You have to understand the world at that time,” Mrs. Stokely said. “It all seems very romantic now, and some of it was. The kids would dance until their feet hurt on Saturday night and then dress up in their finest for Sunday services. But there was also a lot of hate.” Mrs. Stokely paused and seemed to wait for the memories to return. “I was maybe ten or eleven when it happened. Too young to really understand it at the time, but I knew whatever those girls had done in that dressing room was bad.”
Patty bounced with excitement. “I knew there was a story behind that wall. Tell us, Mrs. Stokely.”
“I can only tell you what I heard while standing next to my mama. She thought that by covering my ears, I couldn’t hear the conversation she had with Mrs. Brown. And then the next day with Mrs. Eccles. And then…” She waved her hand. “Well, let’s just say I’d heard several different versions of the salacious events.”
“Salacious?” Patty rubbed her hands together in anticipation. “Now you’re speaking my language.”
“Well, in a sense, yes. I am speaking your language. And mine, if I’m truthful. Although, as it relates to the events in the dressing room, I didn’t discover my own truth until much later.” Her expression sobered. “Those poor girls were torn apart and humiliated in front of the entire town. It was a travesty all around.”
Patty shook her head in confusion. “The girls were gay?”
“So it seems. And they were also naïve. Oblivious and blind. No one would ever accuse me of that, and no one would ever tear Millie from my arms. I made sure of that. We were always on guard. Always aware of who might be watching us. But those girls decided to go into a public dressing room and get intimate.”
Patty looked at Lindsay, then at Mrs. Stokely again. “Did my grandfather do something to them?”
“Well, this is where the story gets a bit sketchy. I heard several versions, but the one I believe to be true is the worst one. I remember the look on Mrs. Brown’s face as she recalled it. She looked stricken. Probably with guilt, since she claimed she was there at the time and did nothing about it.” Mrs. Stokely looked them both in the eye and said, “He pushed his way into their dressing room, grabbed them both, and dragged them out, not stopping to let them get whatever clothes they’d taken off. The entire store watched as he tossed them out onto the street, yelling the entire time about what an abomination they
were. In a town that small, it wasn’t long before everyone knew their story.”
Lindsay felt surprisingly calm. She didn’t feel an urge to run from the details. She’d felt remnants of the pain of what had happened for most of her life. She knew the dread and shame. The loss. Lindsay had spent her adult life under the shadow of those feelings. Finally having some details was actually a relief. From the look on Patty’s face, she felt something different.
“How dare he?” Patty said.
“Your grandfather? I’d imagine if it were a boy and a girl messing around in his dressing room, he’d have quietly put a stop to it. Maybe given the boy a pat on the back,” Mrs. Stokely said.
“You mean he wouldn’t have dragged them outside half-dressed with the guy’s erection in full view? How surprising.” Patty put her face in her hands.
“Patricia!”
“Sorry, Mrs. Stokely. I just can’t believe my grandfather did this.”
“I know this wasn’t the news you were hoping for, dear.”
“It’s just so disappointing, you know? I barely knew my grandfather, but I spent my life being told what a wonderful, kind man he was. He obviously wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
* * *
Lindsay stood by the car and dug through her purse until she found a tissue. “I hate it when you cry, Cakes. Always have.”
Patty took the tissue. “Were you even in the room with Mrs. Stokely? Of course I’m going to cry.”
Lindsay got behind the wheel. “I only meant that it’s hard because you get such a sad look on your face, but it’s not like I can put you on my lap and kiss your boo-boo away like I have with Brooke.”
Patty put her seat belt on. “Why not? Maybe my boo-boo would respond quite favorably to that.”
Lindsay rolled her eyes. She’d walked right into that one.
“And I would like to reiterate that my boo-boo is not, in fact, a bushy boo-boo,” Patty said. “I still haven’t forgiven you for putting that image in Brooke’s head.” She put up a finger. “For the record, I do trim the hedge.”