by Louise Guy
It was on the tip of Hannah’s tongue to tell Nat to stop being so melodramatic, but she stopped herself. Maybe she really did feel a connection when she was at the house. Instead she touched her arm. ‘She’s always in your heart, Nat. You don’t have to say goodbye, just find her in different places, different situations. When I want to be close to her, I bake that ginger and pecan cake she used to make.’
Nat’s eyes widened. ‘But you hated that cake.’
Hannah laughed. ‘I know, but I loved the smell of it when it was baking, and it reminds me of being loved and safe. The ginger and cinnamon are such a strong smell. When I need her close, I sit in the kitchen with it baking, enjoying a cup of tea. Luckily Damien loves the cake.’
All three of them were silent, caught up in their own memories. Eventually, Hannah stood.
‘I think I’ll get going, leave you and Nat to chat.’ She hugged her father. ‘You have my support one hundred percent. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. When you and Sue find an area you’re thinking of buying in let me know that too. I’ll provide you with a full risk assessment.’ She held up her hands, knowing he would probably object. ‘You don’t have to go by it, but it is interesting to know the facts and figures. You don’t want to move into an area that’s had prices skyrocket in the previous year or one with a high crime rate. All the risk assessment will do is ensure you’re fully informed.’
‘Do you ever do anything spontaneous?’ Nat asked. ‘Don’t you get bored always analysing things, extracting the fun from them?’
Hannah hesitated. For just a few minutes she’d felt a closeness to Nat. A sharing of their love for their mother, and then, as usual, she had to spoil it. But she wasn’t going to get riled by her sister. Instead, she smiled. ‘You see, I’m lucky. I find analysing things fascinating. For me, it puts the fun into it. For instance, I would have weighed up the risks before deciding to ruin my niece’s birthday. I would have realised that not only would I have unnecessarily upset a twelve-year-old, but I’d look petty and silly in front of my family. I would also have been concerned about the damage it would have done to my relationship with my sister. So, before I acted like a total bitch, I would have considered all of this and made a much better and more informed decision. Now, I’m going to head home and enjoy the rest of my weekend.’ She flashed a smile at her father. ‘No need to get up, I can see myself out.’
She turned and left the kitchen, the smile widening on her face as she pictured the daggers flying from Nat’s eyes straight into her back.
Damien and Amy were still out at the movies when Hannah arrived home. Bear bounded down the stairs and sat at her feet, waiting to be showered with affection. She scratched his ears and was rewarded with the thumping of his tail. ‘You’re a good boy, Bear. A really good dog.’ His tail thumped harder as she spoke.
She walked through to the kitchen with Bear at her heels. She really should think about preparing dinner. It was strange, after a confrontation with Nat she often felt disappointed or down, but not today. She was glad Nat had shown up. She’d been feeling angry towards her following Amy’s birthday and hadn’t had a chance to make that clear. She had now, and while her father probably hadn’t enjoyed the tension between his daughters, they were things that needed to be said. What Nat had done was not okay. She felt lighter for having got her thoughts off her chest. She doubted her words would have any impact at all on her sister but they certainly helped her.
Hannah opened the fridge, planning to marinate some chicken for the evening’s stir-fry when her phone pinged. It was Damien.
Saw a double feature. The second movie’s only halfway through. We’ll be at least an hour and a half. Meet us in Box Hill for dumplings at seven?
Hannah grinned.
Perfect. See you there.
She sent the text back and shut the fridge. They could have the stir-fry tomorrow night. She turned to Bear. ‘Let’s get your dinner sorted.’ The dog shadowed her as she refilled his water bowl and filled another with his mix of chicken, rice and vegetables. She left him eating and went upstairs to her office and sat down. She wondered if Eliza or Lia were online.
She opened up her computer and logged on to the chat room. She could see the conversation between Eliza and Lia had continued after she’d left it the previous evening.
PinkFish88
So happy for you with the finances! Do you think there’ll be other investment opportunities?
LizaE
Not sure. Also, don’t know if I’d risk any of this money. It feels like another sort of gambling. We were lucky this time, but like anything, there are no guarantees.
PinkFish88
You sound very sensible. The sort of person I need around me at the moment. If my sister had invested for me and made so much, I’d be chomping at the bit, wanting to do it again. That one transaction would have got me out of debt. Not that my sister would ever have done something like that.
LizaE
What’s the deal with your sister? You’ve mentioned her a few times in a very negative way. Do you have any relationship with her?
PinkFish88
Not really. It’s hard to be around someone who makes you feel inferior to them. Is always looking down their nose at you, suggesting you could do better. She’s not very likeable.
LizaE
Has she always been like that?
PinkFish88
No. We were really close until my mum died when I was a teenager. It was never the same after that.
LizaE
That’s a pretty hard situation for all of you. I guess your mother’s death really affected her. Is she just like that with you or with everyone?
PinkFish88
She controls everyone but I think she’s more on my case than anyone else’s. There’s rarely a time when I see her that she doesn’t have something to criticise me about. I’m just not good enough in her eyes, and she’s a fixer so she can’t just let it go.
LizaE
What’s her husband like? A doormat?
PinkFish88
He’s a great guy. I can’t imagine what he’s doing with her. I’ve asked him a couple of times, and he’s said that I choose to see one side only to my sister. That I can’t see beyond her criticisms. He also doesn’t think she’s criticising me. He believes that she’s trying to help and can’t figure out why it gets my back up. I think he must have had a massive whack to the head at some stage if that’s how he interprets the situation.
LizaE
Interesting. I can’t imagine not getting along with my family. They are so important to me. I’d be devastated to have that kind of relationship. I always wanted a sister. Someone I could confide in and be best friends with. That’s how I always imagined it would be.
PinkFish88
It was when we were younger. We were really close. Not only were we good friends but I admired her. She always had my back. But when our mother died things changed. She changed. She went from being easy-going to completely neurotic. On my back about everything. Nothing I did was good enough from that point on. If Mum had been really strict I would have thought she was trying to step in and take her place, but Mum was the most relaxed, carefree person you’d ever meet. I guess it was how she dealt with our mother’s death, but knowing that doesn’t make being around her any easier.
Hannah stared at the screen. She and Lia had more in common than she would ever have imagined. Both had sisters they didn’t get along with and both had lost their mothers as teenagers. She thought back to when her mother died. It had changed her; she knew that. She could relate to Lia’s sister. The accident that killed her mother had instilled a fear she’d not known before. It made her worry about everything. For months she’d worried her father wouldn’t come home from work or that something would happen to Nat. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing someone else. She wouldn’t say she sucked the fun out of everything, although Nat thought she did. She just became overly cautious, weighing up the pros and con
s of everything.
She thought back to Nat’s comment earlier that day. ‘Do you ever do anything spontaneous?’ No, in all honesty, she didn’t. But was that a bad thing? This is where she and her sister differed. Nat saw the way she lived her life to be negative, whereas being cautious and assessing risk brought great comfort to Hannah. If her mother had done this on her fortieth birthday, there was no way she would have been riding a horse without wearing a helmet. That one small change in what she did that day might have saved her life. When that was an example in your own family of the devastating effects being spontaneous could have, why wouldn’t you be more cautious?
She could see from her status that Lia was away from the computer, but Eliza appeared to be online. She typed a message.
BrownDog40
How’s your day been, Eliza? Still on cloud nine from your unexpected windfall?
LizaE
Sure am! It turns out Jacob has reinvested for us. I was in tears this afternoon when he dropped in. He wanted us to know that he was going to do everything possible to get us out of debt. Of course, now I’m worried that he’s gambling to do it. He’s assured me that this is what he does for work, that he’d be doing it for his clients, so adding in a little bit extra in a fund for us is no big deal. I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I feel so loved right now.
BrownDog40
That’s amazing. How does your husband feel about it all? Is he happy?
LizaE
The fact that you’ve thought to ask that question tells me you are a person with great empathy. Doug is doing his best to appear happy, but I know he’s feeling like a failure deep down too. I’m trying to manage his feelings carefully. I’m sure he’d like to be the one bailing us out of the trouble he put us in, but right now he’s not capable of doing that and Jacob is.
BrownDog40
I feel for him. It must be a horrible situation to find yourself in. But, on the flip side, I’m ecstatic for you. Your brother must be good at what he does.
LizaE
He is. He’s done very well for himself and his family. He’s married with two children, and they live in a beautiful house in Toorak. The kids are at private schools, and they take at least one four-week holiday every year to an exotic location. He has NO DEBT either! Can you believe that? A forty-five-year-old man living the dream off his hard work. I’m very proud of him. Enough talking about him though. How are you doing? Any more thoughts on what you’re going to do about the blackmailer?
BrownDog40
I’ve done my best to put it out of my mind. I do agree with you though. Honesty is the best policy in the long run. I may have to trust that my relationship with my husband is strong enough to handle this. It’s just whether I tell him now or whether I wait and see how it plays out. Who knows, the PI might only provide his biological mother with our details and leave it at that. I’m not sure if he’d go to the effort of telling my husband what I’ve done.
LizaE
I’m guessing he would. He’ll be angry with you for not giving him the money. Suze, think about being the one to tell your husband. I’ve learned in the past that keeping secrets comes back to bite you. Just be careful. Now, I’d better go and rustle up some food for dinner. Chat soon. x
Hannah posted a smiley face into the chat box and stared at her screen. Eliza was right. She knew that. She just wasn’t sure she could bring herself to do it. She’d like to think that Damien having the opportunity to meet his biological mother would outweigh the pain of learning about his father and about her deceit, but she wasn’t sure that it would.
Over their dumpling dinner the previous evening, Damien had suggested they visit Phyllie the following morning. He’d driven past her house during the week and noticed the front lawn was getting long.
‘I thought Aunty Nat was there to help out,’ Amy said as they enjoyed a breakfast of pancakes with berries and yoghurt.
‘She is.’ Hannah pushed her pancake around her plate. Ever since Zane Fox had reappeared in her life her appetite had been lacking. ‘I’m not sure that her help extends to lawn mowing. It will be a good chance to check on Phyllie. Nat says she’s fine, but I don’t know what to believe from her these days. She’s been acting quite strangely.’
‘Why don’t we make a cake or some cookies to take with us?’ Amy suggested. ‘Phyllie loves those melting moments you make. You know, the ones with the oats and a cherry on top.’
‘Great idea. Let’s get them started straightaway. Then we can head off by nine. They won’t take long.’
With the cookies cooled and packed in a tin, and Bear in the back seat with Amy, they drove the short distance to Phyllie’s.
‘I didn’t tell her we were coming,’ Hannah said. ‘I thought we could surprise her. Hopefully, Nat won’t be home.’
Damien raised an eyebrow. ‘She might have something to say after your discussion yesterday.’
Hannah shrugged. ‘I didn’t say anything she didn’t deserve.’
Damien didn’t respond. He signalled and turned off the main road into Phyllie’s quiet street. Amy and Bear were out of the car and running to the front door the second he stopped.
‘Now, this is a lovely surprise.’ Phyllie drew her great-granddaughter into a hug. ‘And to what do I owe this great pleasure?’
‘Dad’s going to mow your lawn and Mum and I made cookies.’
Phyllie laughed. ‘That all sounds too good to refuse.’ She held the door open, waiting for Hannah and Damien to catch up to Amy.
‘You don’t need to mow my lawn,’ she said as they reached her.
‘I certainly do,’ Damien said. ‘That’s my job from now on. I’ll check on it every few weeks, and if it needs mowing, I’ll be round on the weekend. Of course, if you have a special occasion you need it mown for, you just let me know. I don’t want to hear of you pushing that mower out of the shed again. Do you hear me?’ He waggled his finger, causing Phyllie to laugh.
‘I do, and I appreciate it. I’m sure Nat would have mown it if I’d asked.’
‘Is she here?’ Hannah hoped she wasn’t.
Phyllie shook her head. ‘No, she’s starting a new job tomorrow and said she had a few things to prepare for it. I think she’s gone to do a bit of shopping.’ Phyllie searched Hannah’s face. ‘Everything alright between you and Nat? You looked relieved when I said she wasn’t here.’
‘Just the usual,’ Hannah said. ‘Now, let’s make some tea and try these cookies. Amy says they’re your favourite.’
The lawnmower was roaring in the background as they made tea and took it through to the living room.
‘You’ve got a computer!’ Amy sat on the computer chair and stared at the monitor. ‘What do you use it for?’
‘It’s Nat’s. I got her to move it down here so I could use it too. I’m a bit of a Facebook fanatic.’
‘Really?’ Hannah was surprised. ‘How come you haven’t friended me?’
‘I keep it mainly to just my friends.’ She winked. ‘You can send me a request if you like and I’ll consider it.’
‘Can I turn it on? See what programs you’ve got?’ Amy looked hopefully at Phyllie.
‘Course you can. I doubt you’ll find anything exciting though. Nat mainly uses it for the internet. I imagine she’ll need it for her reports for work when she starts. It has Facebook though.’
‘And Nat’s been doing her online swimwear business from the living room? Hasn’t that been intrusive?’ Hannah asked.
Phyllie’s eyes darted around the room. ‘Not really. The workload has tapered off a bit with that, which is why she’s gone and got the new job.’
‘Really? I was under the impression she’d been working around the clock and hardly going out.’
Phyllie nodded. ‘She was at one stage. We only moved the computer down here recently. I got sick of taking cups of tea up the stairs.’
‘Hold on. You’re not supposed to be going up the stairs at all. That was part of our deal.’
Phyllie shook her head. ‘No, that was one of your instructions for me. But if it makes you feel better, other than when I need to go into the sewing room, which isn’t very often these days, I won’t go upstairs. As of tomorrow, Nat won’t be here during the day anyway.’
Hannah suddenly thought of Lia. She was also starting a new job tomorrow. It made her realise she hadn’t asked her what she did, and she would need to message her to wish her a good first day. She thought back to their conversations of the previous day. There certainly were a lot of parallels between their two lives.
‘You’re looking puzzled,’ Phyllie said. ‘Anything wrong?’
‘I was just thinking of a friend,’ Hannah said. ‘Someone I’ve recently met. She’s got a lot going on in her life at the moment and, like Nat, she’s starting a new job tomorrow. She also lives with her grandmother and recently moved her computer into a shared area, like Nat has. I was thinking how strange the similarities are, that’s all.’
Phyllie smiled. ‘A small world, I guess. What does your friend do for work? Don’t tell me she’s a community support officer too?’
‘Actually, I’m not sure. I’ll ask her when we’re next chatting.’
The lawnmower cut out suddenly and the room, other than Amy’s tapping on the computer keys, filled with silence.
‘He’s finished the back,’ Phyllie said. ‘He’ll be up the side any second, ready to do the front. Perhaps we should move out the back on to the veranda? It’s a bit chilly, but the sun’s out. What do you say?’
Amy looked up from the computer. ‘Can I stay here? I need to do some research for my history assignment. I could use this time to read about the landing at Botany Bay.’
‘What about Bear? You don’t think he’d like a run around now Dad’s finished out the back?’
They all looked down at Bear, who was lying under the desk, his head on Amy’s feet, fast asleep.
‘He’s tired. How about I read the articles, and then I’ll bring him out?’
‘We can hardly say no to a girl wanting to do her homework.’ Phyllie took Hannah by the elbow. ‘Come on, you can help a poor old lady out to the back garden. In fact, I’m surprised you didn’t bring a wheelchair with you.’