by Allison Rios
“No one can,” AJ added.
Stepping inside the hot office, Bob turned to him. “You’re not working today. What’s going on?”
He had started to soften a bit towards AJ, even trust him a little. He was a hard worker and a good kid and Bob decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Just wanted to make sure we’re cool.”
“We…are…” Bob managed to get out before his face went white, his hand reaching towards his chest. It was as if Devin were planning it so AJ would have to see what he caused.
AJ reached his hand quickly out to Bob. It was the first time in over a month he was going to use his gift to try and heal someone. He hadn’t thought until that moment about the possibility that he may not be allowed to save his boss. Bob reached his own hand out to meet AJ’s.
The victim felt another shock, much like he had with Devin. It was different; soothing even. His eyes closed and AJ’s visions began. Bob and his wife bringing dinner to Isabelle and her family again; going on a vacation; Bob helping Helen around the farm and Matthew, noticeably missing, from the picture. Bob was meant to live, to be there to help Helen and keep her dream of the B&B going.
AJ focused, forcing the strength out of his own body and into Bob’s, a small light emanating from their clasped hands. Bob was silent, unconscious as the healing took place, his mind closed down as his body ousted the evil threat of harm from within it. AJ had to make it believable when he was done. He gathered his breath and tried to stand tall despite feeling extremely weak. The healing had taken more effort than he had thought it would and he knew his focus was weakened from no practice.
“Bob?” he called, a little louder than a whisper. He needed to make Bob believe that he had zoned out and AJ was snapping him back to reality. “You okay, Bob? You spaced out on me there.”
“Uh, yeah, yeah, sorry,” he said, confused and looking around. “I must be really tired. And upset. I’ll be okay. Why don’t you head on out of here? We’re good. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”
“Okay. Why don’t you go home to your wife? Stick a note on the door that if anyone needs help, they can come on down to the B&B and see me?” AJ said, knowing full well no one had needed the shop on a Saturday in years, and probably wouldn’t today.
“Sounds good. Devin’s all set up in one of the places out there, so I think I’ll go rest.”
Despite the weakness AJ was feeling, he also felt energized. A release followed by a rush of relief as he was able to save a life. These were the moments he lived for.
He found it ironic that it took a being as bad as Devin to allow him to feel something so good.
**************************************************
AJ and Max took shifts, watching Devin from afar. Devin knew what they were up to as everywhere he went one of them was within range, listening. They weren’t coy about it; they wanted him to know they were watching.
AJ watched Addie from afar in his spare time, trying to distance himself from her for fear that Devin would retaliate by using her to get to him. If Devin thought he could care less about her, maybe she’d be out of danger.
He avoided her when possible, always having something else to do. If she waved hello, he’d wave back and then head into the house or off to pretend to do something, sneaking around to a place where he could watch her. He knew when Devin was near, focusing his ability to feel Devin’s presence grow stronger if he got closer.
Addie wondered what had happened. They had danced, they had gotten along, and they had gone home just friends. She hadn’t pressured him, hadn’t said anything, and all of a sudden he had essentially disappeared. He hadn’t even been by to see Rose, which broke her heart even more. She hated to see her baby sad, since her daughter had already had a lifetime of men not wanting to be in her life.
She caught him after work one day that next week pulling into the driveway. She had been passive-aggressive, only waving or smiling, not making a move to talk to him. That was about to end. She needed to know why he was doing this to them. To Rose. And to her.
“Hey!” she said, storming over as much as her body could storm. “AJ!”
He looked at her and waved, trying to hurriedly head into the B&B and away from her. He walked up the stairs, through the door and was headed towards the indoor stairs when she caught up to him.
“AJ, what the hell is wrong with you?” she hollered, causing him to turn around.
“Addie, calm down,” he replied, turning around to face her. He was glad Helen was out tending to the chickens and not hearing this exchange.
She had wanted to be calm yet the emotions had taken over as she worked up the courage to go to him. By the time she reached him the hormones were raging and she was nothing short of angry.
“Calm down? You want me to calm down? Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with you? What did I do this time?”
“It’s nothing, nothing at all that you did. I’m just busy.”
“Busy? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
“Yes, because it’s true.”
“If you’re so busy, why do you watch me from the porch every night?”
He stopped. He had no answer. She was right.
“You’re sleeping outside AJ. It’s weird. And you’re avoiding me. I don’t understand – we went dancing, I had a good birthday, and then my only friend in town completely bails on me.”
The tears blurred her vision and AJ the pain in her eyes. He knew he was wrong, although he knew being wrong and hurting her like this might save her life in the long run - her life and that of her daughter.
“Addie, I’m sorry. I’m just busy. I need you to understand.”
“I’m tired of understanding you AJ. You promised me I had a friend in you.”
She was fierce but still human. Her heart was breaking, and she thought his distance was somehow her fault.
“I’m tired of trying. I have a better suggestion. Why don’t you just keep the hell away from me and my little girl? For good. Better yet, why don’t you just pack up and head out of town like you said you would a month ago if I wanted you to? Well, I want you to now, so just go!” she screamed. AJ knew she was beyond hurt and he may possibly never be able to explain or mend the damage he had caused. He hadn’t just hurt her, he had hurt her daughter. He knew to a mother the slight was a wrong no human could right.
He looked down, feeling the sting of tears in his own eyes. He didn’t want her to see him cry.
“Nothing. You have nothing to say?” she said with a cruel laugh. “Really surprising. Go home AJ, to wherever you came from.”
She turned and bolted out the door, brushing past Helen. Helen looked up at AJ and he let her see the tears now staining his cheeks. She walked over to him, not knowing what had just happened. She simply felt he just needed someone to understand he wasn’t a bad person. She wrapped her arms around him and held him, his hands limp at his sides and his body trembling. The only person it had ever been harder to let go of than Addie was his mother.
11 STORIES
The entire town was in attendance with the exception of two people: the newest resident, a man AJ knew was most likely plotting his revenge; and one sweet little girl whose body had grown too tired for the fight. Isabelle had passed, taking her final breath the day Devin came back to town.
There hadn’t been a dry eye for days. Even the men found themselves unable to stop the flow of tears. There were silent glances and awkward hugs as the community tried to comfort each other.
Isabelle had been curled up in bed on her last day on earth, her mother and father on either side of her, while her brothers played board games on the floor. She had smiled up at her parents, her father holding her hand as her mother stroked the side of her soft face. Dark circles made a home under her eyes from the battle she had waged against cancer. She always smiled through everything to try and take the pain and burden away from her family. Max kept AJ apprised of the situation from the information he gathere
d from those in town. It had been like this for weeks, and those who loved her were torn between praying for her to continue on or praying for her to pass. It just didn’t seem humane to beg that she keep on living.
Surrounded by those who loved her most, her tiny heart stopped beating. AJ, through tears shed as he grieved in his bed in mid-afternoon, imagined the angels greeted her there in her room, taking her up to heaven with them where there would be no more pain and suffering. Her mother stayed right there in that bed for hours holding the still body of her baby, crying out the sadness and anger housed within her heart. She knew what every mother of a sick child knew – there was no reason that could possibly explain why Isabelle had died. No matter how hard she searched, she knew no plausible reason would exist; AJ would have agreed.
When they took Isabelle’s body away her mother stayed in the bed for days, her heart broken far more than most people’s would ever be. To lose a parent is hard; to lose a child is unbearable.
It was in strangers that her mother found hope. People wanted to help and asked what they could do. Their family member’s from out of town wanted to help. It inspired Isabelle’s mother to rise out of bed - still heartbroken but inspired all the same. The funeral would come first and then the planning of how to memorialize their little girl so that her life would not have been in vain.
AJ already knew what the future held for them and he found relief in knowing they would be okay despite this heartache.
Devin had stayed tucked away in his little corner of town since that first day he arrived back, and while Max and AJ did keep watch, they let their guard down as they headed into town for the funeral. They’d feel if he were coming near and, since everyone in town was with them, they could mourn the loss of a beautiful little girl without having to be on the prowl for the enemy.
Addie was there, although she avoided AJ at all costs. She pointedly said hello to Max, hoping AJ would hear and it would cause him a sliver of pain. She wanted him to hurt just as she did. To feel unwanted, as she did.
As everyone gathered in the cemetery - the grass a bright, lush green and the sky overhead the clearest blue it had been in weeks - the choir began singing a song and Isabelle’s body was lowered into the ground. AJ knew it was only a body; her soul had risen up to heaven, a physical home no longer needed. He hadn’t known her very well at all, yet the fact that she was just a little girl ate at him. The mortals would never know the how, although they’d guess and wonder and make up scientific reasons to make some sense out of it. While he himself would never have the answers of why, at least he knew the how.
The tears were so many that morning, AJ imagined they could fill an ocean. Adding to the pain he felt at this little soul being lost was the uncontrollable urge to watch Addie from across the gathering. She’d made eye contact only once, to be sure he caught her glare and took notice of how angry she was. While her look was stoic and punishing, her heart felt a slight wince of regret for the things she had said. She hadn’t lied; she wanted him to leave. At least her mind did. Her heart had second thoughts and very much wanted him to stay. She was left wondering if he would, and being angry at herself for caring.
The feelings AJ had were new. While he still felt the Grim in town, his nausea was amplified by the fact that Addie held so much disdain for him. He wished he could tell her he was only protecting her. He knew she would never understand it.
The ceremony ended and the town gathered for a meal. AJ simply hadn’t the courage to attend. Max didn’t want to leave him unaccompanied, either. As they made their way in the opposite direction from the crowd, both men felt Devin at the same time, only moments before he was directly in front of them. He was getting stronger.
“Lovely to see you boys. Great day for a funeral,” he said.
His voice was an evil drawl. AJ thought he sounded like a snake; a very poisonous one.
“Nice,” AJ said, his hands tucked firmly in his pockets to resist the urge to belt Devin. After the incident with Bob, he didn’t want to cause any more strife through his own actions. “I thought Grims were supposed to keep a system of checks and balances with us, without taking so much joy in it,” AJ hissed, his voice low so others wouldn’t hear.
“Ah, an old-schooler. I see you’ve been hanging around Max too long. Really AJ, do you think the world still operates that way?”
“We’re not the world. We’re separate. We have our own laws and obligations.”
“And laws were made to be broken,” Devin scowled back, leaning towards AJ as if to show he wasn’t scared. “The world is changing and so must we. Adapt or be taken advantage of is my motto. It’s working out quite well, really. Anyway, I don’t break laws. I just stretch them to their brink.”
“You’ve broken laws already, Devin! You touched Bob in revenge.”
“Did I? I don’t think so. He’s been overweight for years. Definitely hasn’t worked out. I was merely giving him a little wake up call to be a better person.”
AJ grimaced. He hated Devin with every inch of his being.
Devin had a smaller stature. However, he didn’t seem to be afraid. Addie had been watching the interaction from behind and instantly knew how she could find an opportunity to get under AJ’s skin.
“Devin!” she called, snapping the boys out of their pre-wrestling stare-down.
AJ shot a look back at Addie, incredulous that she was going to stoop to this level to get back at him. He knew what she was doing. She came jogging over just as Max touched AJ’s arm to keep him calm.
“Hi boys,” she said sarcastically, her head tilting to emphasize the point. “Hi Devin.”
“Hi, Addie,” he replied. “It’s nice to see a friendly face around here.” He looked back at AJ, the sneer upon his face even bigger than before.
“Care to join me? You look like you could use a friend.”
“I could. And I’d love to,” he replied happily.
He enjoyed this torment of AJ nearly as much as Addie did. As they began to walk away, she looked back towards Max and AJ. AJ faced the opposite direction. He could feel her eyes boring into him and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of looking. He thought she had just been mad at him; he was beginning to think she hated him, now.
“Let it go,” Max said, squeezing AJ’s arm. “He won’t hurt her. Not yet at least. He’d rather enjoy watching you writhe.”
AJ was silent. It seemed the safest way to exist at the moment. Any words he uttered would show the pure hatred and contempt he was beginning to feel for certain aspects of the world.
He took a few deep breathes, trying to lower the adrenaline running through his veins and causing him to shake with the anger he felt. When he had calmed down enough, he shook Max’s hand off and started walking.
“AJ, wait up,” Max yelled, walking after him.
AJ’s pace grew faster and faster, into a jog and then a full out sprint. Max knew he couldn’t keep up so he slowed to a stop and shook his head. He couldn’t blame the kid; he’d never asked for any of this.
AJ ran, and then ran further, the dress clothes he had put on growing heavier as he went. Covered in sweat and with his tie half undone and flapping in the breeze, he focused only on the road ahead. He didn’t care.
To Helen and Matthew’s, out past the fields and around acres of fields that surrounded town. His feet carried him as fast as he could go. Out past the home he knew Devin was staying at. He stopped in front of it, his hands going through his hair and bracing his head as if he were about to explode. He kicked the fence, breaking one of the old railroad ties in half.
If he thought it would have made Devin leave, he would have torn the house down board by board with his bare hands. Instead he started jogging again. He sprinted back towards the B&B.
He didn’t want to care so much. He’d gone years living in the city, never once becoming so vested in the people he was there for. Why had he let himself care about her? Why had he let himself fall in love with someone he could never hav
e? It was a mystery to him in the same way that people becoming sick was a mystery to humans; he knew he’d never understand.
Then he realized he loved her.
He slammed the door to his room, wanting to be alone. It wasn’t long before he heard Helen knocking.
He wanted her to leave, to let him be. She was persistent and, despite his pleas for time alone, said she wasn’t going anywhere and would wait right there for him.
She really would have made an excellent mother.
“I’m sorry for slamming the door, Helen. It won’t happen again,” he said, opening the oak door to her. “This is your home, I should be more respectful.”
“I don’t care about the door,” she replied softly, slipping inside his room. “I care about you. Come here,” she said, signaling towards the two little chairs at the small table near the windows. “Let’s talk.”
“I really, really don’t want to talk,” AJ said, trying his best to be kind instead of rude towards a woman who had helped and befriended him as a new arrival in town.
“Then just listen.”
She settled into the chair, her wrinkled hands an indication of the years of experience she had on this earth.
“I won’t pretend to know what’s going on,” she said, her eyes boring straight into him with a hint of kindness. “Here’s what I do know. Love isn’t a fair game or an easy one. I know we don’t always pick who we love. It is chosen for us by greater powers and we are only destined to find each other somehow. If Addie isn’t the one, you’ll find the person you are supposed to be with. Of that, I am certain.”
He looked down into his lap. Nothing was certain except that we live and we die, he thought.
“All of this – the pain I see in your eyes, the wall you’re putting up to keep a distance - it’s not healthy. Not for you and not for her, and especially not for that little girl. You need to make a choice. You are welcome here as long as you want, although only if you make a choice and live with it. I won’t have this trouble in my house. You are like a son to me, AJ, a son that I’ve wanted my whole life. You can trust me and I need to be able to trust you.”