I’m so used to being alone in the quiet classroom with Og on weeknights—with a visit from Aldo—that it was strange but wonderful to see the whole room filled with my classmates’ families. I knew most of them from my visits to their houses: A.J. and all the Thomases; the Tugwells; Heidi and Gail and their families; the Rinaldis; the Patels; and all the Golden family (except the dog, Clem, thank goodness), including her mom, dad, stepmom, brother Ben and stepsister Abby.
Even Paul and his mom were there. The class had voted to make him a full citizen of Humphreyville.
Each student got to be a tour guide, showing his or her own family the houses, streets, park and yes, the statue of ME! There was a pleasant hubbub as the families admired the houses. Funny, all the parents thought the very best house was made by their own kid!
“Hiya, Humphrey,” a familiar voice said. It was Seth’s grandmother, Dot Larrabee. She was all dressed up and had bright red lips and fingernails. I hardly recognized her. “Still the daring young man on the flying trapeze?”
I flung myself at my climbing ladder to prove that I was!
After a half hour of ooh-ing and ahh-ing over Humphreyville, A.J. rang his bell again. CLANG-CLANG-CLANG.
“Hear ye, hear ye!” CLANG-CLANG-CLANG. “The town meeting will now come to order.”
A.J. sure liked ringing that bell. He rang it a few more times until Mrs. Brisbane told him that was enough. She asked the parents to take their seats. Mostly, they sat in the kid-sized chairs (though they looked a bit silly). Aldo brought in some folding chairs, too. The students stood so their parents could sit down.
“Mind if I stick around?” Aldo asked.
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Mrs. Brisbane told him.
The entire Payne family arrived a little late: Mr. and Mrs. Payne, Mandy, Pammy, Tammy and Bwian. (Brian, of course.) I thought Mrs. Payne worked at night!
CLANG-CLANG-CLANG! A.J. certainly knew how to get people’s attention.
“Hear ye, hear ye! Presenting Mrs. Brisbane.”
The parents clapped and Mrs. Brisbane came to the front of the room. “It’s great to have such a big turnout tonight. I know it’s hard to get here after a long day, but I wanted to share with you all the work your children have put into building their own community from scratch. I think they did a wonderful job, don’t you?”
The families clapped even louder. A.J clapped, too, and dropped his bell with a large CLANG!
“BOING-BOING!” said Og. Maybe he thought the bell was another frog.
Anyway, everybody laughed. Mrs. Brisbane said it was time to introduce our special guest, Mr. Dudley Dalton, a member of our own town’s City Council.
A tall, very thin man with large round glasses and a skinny mustache came to the front of the room. When the clapping stopped, he cleared his throat and pulled a piece of paper out of his suit coat pocket.
“Thank you, uh, Mrs. Brisbane,” he said. “I am honored to be here to share this evening with these, uh, wonderful young people of Longfellow School. Truly, they are a, uh, credit to our community.”
He smiled slightly, as if smiling hurt his face.
“Since we’ve had a look at Humpfeeville—I mean Humphreyville—tonight, I’d like to share with you some background about our—uh, own town and how it’s grown over the years.”
Mr. Dudley Dalton unfolded the paper and began to read. And read. And READ-READ-READ. Instead of reading something like a story, he read facts and figures, dates and something he called “statistics,” which were harder to understand than the hardest vocabulary word we’ve ever had.
All the parents and students tried hard to concentrate on what Mr. Dalton was saying, but as he went on and on, it was harder to pay attention. If only he made the reading of his statistics as interesting as Mrs. Brisbane makes her stories sound! Soon, I saw Seth start to fidget. His sister, Lucinda, gave him a hard jab in the ribs with her elbow and he settled down again.
Mr. and Mrs. Payne looked a little drowsy, and when I glanced at my friend Dot, I saw that her eyes were closed and her chin was dropping. Didn’t Mr. Dudley Dalton notice that he was putting his audience to sleep? I guess not, since he never looked up from his paper, not once.
Everyone tried hard to pay attention until Mr. Dalton got stuck on the word “economics.” It’s a hard word, I’ll admit, but when he said, “eek-o-momics,” Gail started giggling. And what’s worse, Gail’s mom started giggling, too.
Mr. Dalton corrected himself. “Economics. And that pretty much sums up the growth of this wonderful community that we all call home.”
He folded up his paper and everyone applauded, probably because they were relieved that he had finished. When everyone clapped, Dot’s eyes opened wide, her head jerked up and she said “Oh!” rather loudly. The applause had stopped, so Mrs. Brisbane asked her if she had a question.
Dot stood up. “Not a question, just a comment. Facts and figures are fine, but what makes up a community is people. And I’ve known some pretty doggone interesting people in my lifetime here.”
“Mother,” Mrs. Stevenson whispered. “Sit down.”
“Grandma,” Lucinda whispered. “Please!”
But Mrs. Brisbane smiled. “I couldn’t agree more.”
That encouraged Dot to keep going. I was hoping she’d tell the story of the dancing bear.
“For example, when I was growing up here …”
Lucinda groaned loudly and Seth squirmed in his chair, but that didn’t stop Dot.
“I grew up in a yellow house with white trim down on Alder Street. They were nice houses down there, with big trees around and a store on the corner. Even though it wasn’t as big as this room, you could find anything you’d want in that store.”
“Where Pet-O-Rama is now!” I squeaked. I hadn’t planned on saying anything. It just slipped out. Gail and her mom started giggling again. That didn’t stop Dot, either.
“You kids like the mall, but did you know there used to be a roller skating rink there, with an amusement park next door? Had a merry-go-round and a Ferris wheel. Only cost a quarter to get in. Oh, and there were pony rides, too!”
Boy, I have to say, Dot had everyone’s attention now. Mr. Dudley Dalton nervously folded and refolded his paper while she talked.
“When you talk about history, you have to know the facts and figures, sure. You also have to know how people lived. What they did, how they thought, what they did for fun.” Dot was running out of steam or else she was getting tired of Lucinda tugging on her skirt, trying to get her to sit down. “Anyway, that’s my opinion.” She sat down. Lucinda, Mrs. Stevenson and Seth all acted pretty nervous, but then a nice thing happened.
People began to applaud. Not for Mr. Dudley Dalton of the City Council, but for Dot. Mrs. Brisbane clapped, too. When the applause died down, Mrs. Brisbane said, “Class, I think we’ve found our next social studies project. I think we should get out and interview people like Mrs. Larrabee and find out what life used to be like in this town. You can talk to your parents, your grandparents, your neighbors. Mr. Brisbane works down at the Senior Center. I think that would also be a good place to meet people. What do you think, Mr. Dalton?”
“A fine idea,” he said, running a handkerchief across his forehead. “People are our, uh, finest resource.”
Mrs. Brisbane did a good job of wrapping things up so that people could go home. Instead of leaving, parents and their children gathered around Dot, asking her questions about the amusement park and Alder Street and saying they’d like to get together. Dot’s skin was rosy and she was smiling a lot more than when I’d stayed at the house.
“I think Grandma’s a star,” I heard Seth’s mother tell her children.
“Great,” said Lucinda, rolling her eyes dramatically.
It turns out that Dot wasn’t the only one drawing a crowd. The entire Payne family gathered around my cage. For the first time since I’d known them, they were all smiling at once!
“Here’s our guy,” said
Mrs. Payne.
“Yessir. Humphrey, we owe you our thanks. I’m sorry you had to go to the vet’s. But if you hadn’t, I never would have gotten that job at the veterinary clinic. A good job, too. Nice people and nice animals,” said Mr. Payne.
YIPPEE! He not only got the job, but he liked it!
“I think I’m going to take some classes so I can get promoted,” he added.
YIPPEE-YIPPEE-YIPPEE!
“Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to go back on the day shift and spend more time with the kids,” said Mrs. Payne.
“And I wouldn’t have gotten my very own hamster,” said Mandy. “You know … Winky. He’s the cutest hamster I’ve ever seen. Next to you, of course.”
Winky, the toothless, one-eyed hamster, had a real home!
“Thanks, Humphrey. You can come to our house anytime,” said Mrs. Payne.
“Next time I get to hold him,” said Pammy.
“No, I get to hold him,” said Tammy. “Me too, me too!” said Brian.
Some things don’t ever change, I guess. Winky had his paws full, living at the Paynes’ house. Somehow, I knew he could handle it.
Later that night, after Aldo took away the folding chairs, it was quiet in Room 26 except for the TICK-TICK-TICK of the clock.
I spent some time writing about the evening’s events in my notebook. The moon was full and bright. Even in the moonlight, I could see buds of green on the trees outside. The evening was warm. March was almost over, and just as Dot had predicted, it was going out like a lamb.
“Og?” I finally squeaked. “Og, are you awake?”
I heard some gentle splashing, so I knew he couldn’t be sleeping.
“Room Twenty-six is a pretty special place, don’t you agree?”
Og replied with a friendly, agreeable “BOING.”
I glanced across the room. There was the town of Humphreyville spread across several tables. In the moonlight, it looked even more like a real town than during the day. It would all be over soon, of course. Mrs. Brisbane was going to let my friends take their houses home with them. The room would go back to the way it used to be.
I crouched down and pushed up on the lock with all my might. The door swung open.
“It’s a lovely night for a stroll,” I told Og. “Sorry you can’t join me.”
“BOING!” Og started bouncing so high, he might as well have been on a trampoline. What was he trying to tell me now?
“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING-SCREEE!” My old pal did it again. He popped the top off his tank, leaped out and landed on the bag of Nutri-Nibbles nearby.
I must admit, I was worried when I saw him there. It took a lot of effort for him to bounce up high enough to get out of his tank. But how on earth was he going to bounce back in? And if he was out of the water for too long, he could be in big trouble. But he was already out of his tank and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it except enjoy his company.
“It’s a lovely night for a stroll,” I repeated. “And I’m so glad you can join me!”
Og and I scurried along our table until we reached Humphreyville. The table it was on was quite a bit lower than ours. I remembered what Aldo had said about broken bones, so instead of jumping, I lowered myself by my paws and dangled there for a second, then gently dropped down. I landed pretty hard and even did a somersault, but we hamsters are good acrobats. Og had no problem making the big leap.
There we were, on the main street of Humphreyville: Taco Boulevard. For the first time, I realized that the houses were just the right size for a hamster like me or for a frog like Og. We strolled past A.J.’s house of blocks, which was next door to Miranda’s purple castle. Across the street was a long drawing of shops, a movie theater, a bowling alley—even a pet store—which all my friends had worked on.
We turned down Basketball Avenue, past Garth’s log cabin, which was next door to a small house with a large basketball court. That was Tabitha’s house, naturally. She loved sports more than anything. On Soccer Street, we saw Seth’s rocket ship house. Sayeh’s apartment building stood across from Art’s amazing merry-go-round house with the slide coming down and the train tracks going through it. Across the street was a smaller version of Art’s house. It was Paul’s place, of course.
Video Game Way crossed at the corner and there was Gail’s bright yellow house with a picket fence around it and flowers painted on it. Pizza Place had a pizza parlor as well as the courthouse, with its cardboard pillars and a clock up on top. On this clock, it was always twelve o’clock. That meant it was either noon or midnight. Next to the courthouse was the school and playground.
We turned down Recess Lane, which led to the large park and the playground and a baseball diamond. The grassy Og the Frog Nature Preserve had been moved to one side of the park.
“Nice sign,” I said. Og twanged in agreement.
We stopped in the center of the park and stared up at the tall statue. There I was, larger than life—and golden! Even a Golden Hamster was never that golden before. On the base of the statue it read: “To Humphrey. A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
It’s a funny kind of saying, but I thought about it and realized it’s true. March had roared in like a lion, blowing in a whole lot of trouble for the students in Room 26. Seth’s jitters, Art’s failing grades, Mandy’s unhappy family, and especially Miranda’s punishment for something she didn’t do. These were my friends and I did my best to help them. Now March was ending and all those troubles had blown away with the blustery winds.
Tomorrow, Humphreyville would be gone. But my friends would still be there and Mrs. Brisbane, Aldo and Og as well.
We walked through town and headed back for our table. I was relieved to see that Og had no trouble hopping up on the table. He then leaped to the Nutri-Nibbles bag, bounced his way up to the top and then, with one enormous leap, jumped back into the tank, where he landed with a very impressive splash!
“Well done, Oggy!” I complimented him. Of course tomorrow, Mrs. Brisbane would find the top off his tank and wonder about it, but somehow I wasn’t worried.
Once I was back in the safety of my cage, I felt unsqueakably happy.
“You know what, Og? We turned out to have the BEST-BEST-BEST jobs of all! The classroom pets of Room Twenty-six!”
“BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og agreed.
I’m absolutely positive that he was saying, “Yes!”
FAMILIES PROCLAIM HUMPHREYVILLE
TO BE THE PERFECT COMMUNITY!
Students say they’ll always think of
Humphreyville as their hometown.
The Humphreyville Herald
Humphrey’s Tips for
Staying Out (and Getting Out)
of Trouble!
1. If you make a mistake and get in trouble, it’s always a good idea to admit you’re wrong and say you’re sorry.
2. Sometimes you get in trouble for something you didn’t do. Try and stay calm, but squeak up for yourself and explain what really happened. (This doesn’t always work, but you can TRY-TRY-TRY.)
3. If you get in trouble and lie about it, you’ll only get in more trouble, so always squeak the truth!
4. When a good friend (like Miranda) gets in trouble, sometimes you feel as bad as your friend does. That’s what friends are for.
5. When a good friend (like Art or Seth) gets in trouble, a good friend (like Paul or me) can sometimes lend an ear—or a paw—and help out.
6. When a friend (like Og) warns you that you’re about to get in trouble—listen!
7. If people do something mean, like get you in trouble or even get you banished from your classroom, remember: They may have an even bigger problem than you do.
8. If you think you have troubles, think of someone worse off than you are, like my friend Winky, the reject hamster (whose troubles are happily now over).
9. A famous writer named Sophocles once said, “Trouble brings trouble upon trouble.” I’m having trouble figuring that one out!
10. Another famous writer named George Herbert said: “He that seeks trouble never misses.” Now, that I understand! So don’t go looking for trouble—please!
And remember: Everyone gets in trouble at some time, even classroom hamsters and teachers. So if trouble comes your way, don’t worry. You’re in good company!
Dear Reader,
Humphrey? In trouble?
It’s hard to imagine, because Humphrey always tries to do the right thing. But let’s face it, even the best of us occasionally gets into hot water … and a helpful classroom hamster is no exception.
When I was planning this book, I had several fun ideas in mind: building a little town in Room 26, Humphrey taking an exciting trip on a train, and Humphrey going to the veterinarian’s office for the first time.
But for a long time, I’d been wanting to write about a kid who is falsely accused of doing something wrong. This is not a new theme. There are innocent people in prison at this very moment. My husband was actually falsely accused of a crime when he was a child. He was cleared, but it was a scary experience. Luckily, Miranda’s problem is not that serious, but still it’s a terrible feeling to know that you’re innocent but are not believed.
As I wrote the book, I had my own trouble: trying to decide how Humphrey would clear Miranda’s name. I had lists of possibilities; and for a long time, I resisted what was clearly the only choice: He had to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences. That’s just the kind of hamster he is.
The Payne family has a different kind of trouble in the book, because Mr. Payne is out of work. This isn’t an unusual situation, either. In fact, when I was writing the book, I knew a number of good, hardworking people who were unemployed. I’m happy to say that all of those people are working today—even without Humphrey’s help. Happy endings don’t only come in books.
Let’s hope Humphrey can stay out of trouble … at least until the next book, which is sure to be full of surprises!
TRULY-TRULY-TRULY your friend,
Trouble According to Humphrey Page 12