by C. J. Archer
“He was a good man,” Yelena said, her voice softening. “I liked his company. We had lengthy discussions about all sorts of things.” She smiled and touched Dane’s cheek. “You have his eyes.”
“He was a merchant?” Dane asked.
“He had extensive interests all over The Fist.”
“Did he know you were the princess of Averlea?”
“He did. When I fell pregnant, he understood what it meant if I had a boy.”
Quentin snorted softly. “All this could have been avoided if Dane was born a girl.”
Meg kicked him, and he gave her a questioning look.
We sat on the pallets in the larger of the two rooms since there was nowhere else to go except the tunnels where the men slept at night. There was no opportunity for private conversation so my interaction with Dane had been limited. We exchanged whispered words but nothing more. I had expected him to wait until he could be alone with his mother before pressing her about his past, but it seemed he couldn’t wait.
“Does he still have family in Glancia?” Dane asked.
Yelena shook her head.
Dane crossed his legs at the ankles. His booted foot touched mine. It was as intimate as we could get in these cramped quarters. “That explains why he was happy to live here and not there.”
I glanced at Martha, who sat as far from us as possible, her back against the wall. She caught me looking and lowered her gaze to her lap.
Yelena took Dane’s hand in her own. “Your father understood you would have a destiny to fulfill if you were a boy. He told me it pleased him to know his unborn child could be the heir to the Averlea throne. He prayed to the goddess for a boy.”
Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Meg crossing her arms and shaking her head. Max nudged her with his elbow and winked when she looked at him. She smirked and nudged him back.
“He would be immensely proud of you, Son,” Yelena said softly.
Dane suddenly took her hand. I couldn’t see his eyes from where I sat, but I suspected they were bright and his throat too tight to respond. My own was.
“You have turned out better than either of us could have hoped,” Yelena went on. “I know your father would have been pleased to see you re-take what is rightfully yours.”
Dane let go of her hand. “I haven’t decided if I want it.”
“Pardon?”
“The throne. I’m yet to decide if the upheaval is worth it. I doubt it is, but I want to wait until I have my memory back before I make that decision.”
She swayed as if he’d pushed her and stared at him. “You’re yet to decide?” she echoed. “What decision is there to make?”
He frowned. “A very big one. Surely you can’t expect me to lead an army of mercenaries into Noxford and slaughter all the ministers and soldiers who are against me without careful consideration.”
“Why not?” she growled. “That’s what they did to my family. To your family.”
Dane rubbed his forehead. “We’ll discuss this later.”
“What do you think you’ll do instead?” she went on. It was as if none of us were there, as invisible as the palace servants had been when they served the nobles.
Dane glanced around the room, at the faces watching them and at those discreetly turned away so as not to embarrass him. “Can we talk about this when we’re on the boat?”
“No, we cannot. It’ll be too late then.”
“Too late?” He turned to face her fully. “You don’t want me to leave, do you? You expect me to stay here even though the entire country is looking for me.”
“We will remain in hiding until the time is right.”
“It could be months!”
“You’re strong and healthy, and I’ll endure it with you.” He went to protest again, but she cut him off. “Don’t run off to Glancia. You were never a coward, Dane.”
“He’s not a coward now,” I snapped.
Yelena’s nostrils flared. “She can stay too, if you wish. Her presence will make the wait more pleasurable for you. Ewen and Eeliss won’t mind, as long as the betrothal with Laylana stands.”
Dane set his jaw. “I’m leaving on that boat, and I don’t want to hear another word about staying.”
She set her jaw just as firmly. “You are the heir. The Averlea throne is your birthright, your destiny. You can’t ignore it.”
“If you believe in destiny then you have to accept that my destiny was to lose my memory and be a guard in the Glancian palace. That is what happened, and maybe it happened for a reason.” He stood and peered down at her. “I won’t be making any decisions until my memory returns and I understand myself.”
He went to walk off but she grabbed his hand and rose onto her knees. “You do understand yourself. Search your heart and you’ll find your true nature.” She tapped her chest. “You don’t need a memory for that.”
He pulled free and walked off, out of the chamber.
“What would you do if you don’t accept your birthright?” she called after him. “Hide for the rest of your life? They know you’re alive now, and they won’t rest until your head is on a spike. Is that the life you want for Josie, for your children? You will be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your days if you take that boat to Glancia and abandon everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve for you.”
“That’s enough,” I hissed at her. “He knows the consequences.” I picked up a candle and strode after Dane, Yelena’s glare burning into my back.
I found him leaning against the wall at the base of the ladder, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked up upon my arrival and opened his arms to me. I set the candle down on the ground and went to him. His sigh ruffled my hair.
We embraced for some time, neither speaking, until I pulled away and indicated the ladder. “You’re not thinking of leaving, are you?”
“No. This was the furthest point from the room.”
“You could have followed the tunnel in the other direction. I believe it’s longer.”
“There are more tunnels that way, so Martha says. I’m worried I’d get lost.”
I smiled. “The amazing Dane March has no sense of direction? I don’t believe it.”
He laughed softly. “March. I’m not yet used to it.”
I took his hands in mine. “I’m glad you know who you are now, even if it means you’re far above me in station.”
“Don’t joke about it. I’m still an ordinary man.”
“Your mother doesn’t think so,” I said, keeping my voice low.
His chest deflated with another deep sigh. “Perhaps if I could remember, I would want to please her, but I feel no sentimentality towards her. I’m a terrible person for thinking that."
"You’re not. Everyone in your position would feel the same. Look at Max and Vance. They were as close as brothers, yet Max can easily walk away. When your memory returns, you’ll feel a connection to her again."
It was what I dreaded most now, that his memories would return and his desires and wishes would change to what they had been before. If he thought reinstating the royal family in Freedland was a good idea then, why wouldn’t he still think that way now?
It was impossible to know how any of them would react when their memories returned. All I did know was that Dane was a good man then and he was still a good man now.
“You’ll make the right decision,” I said. “Have faith in yourself.”
He tugged me closer and put his arms around me again. He kissed my forehead and worked his way down to my lips. The kiss was sweet at first but quickly escalated to one of yearning and desire. He broke the kiss before it went too far, but he did not push me away. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the wall.
“Are you thinking about Laylana?” I asked.
He frowned. “No.”
“Oh. Right. Of course you wouldn’t think of her at a time like this.”
He touched my chin. “I think we need to address this before your imaginat
ion starts running off in the wrong direction.”
I thrust my hand on my hip. “I’m very practically minded.”
His lips stretched into a smile. “So you weren’t thinking that I’ll get back to Glancia and decide Laylana needs rescuing, and since we’re already betrothed I might as well just marry her?”
“No.”
He arched his brows.
“Very well, it crossed my mind.”
“Then let me assure you, I won’t marry her, with or without my memory. It seems as though it was an arranged marriage for political reasons and we weren’t in love.”
“She tried to free you from prison. That sounds to me like love.”
“Or a royalist supporter with her own interests at heart. Her future depended on me regaining the throne.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “When we get back to the palace, I’m going to tell her about the betrothal but I’ll also tell her I’m calling it off.”
I checked the vicinity before whispering, “You’re going to break your promise to her?”
“Yes.”
“Before or after we get Brant to wish for your memories back?”
“Regaining my memory won’t affect my decision. I don’t want to marry Laylana.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I want to marry you.”
My heart flipped in my chest, and a wave of warm tingles washed over me. I couldn’t help my smile, even though I fought hard to suppress it.
It was only wiped from my face when Dane kissed me again, fiercely this time. I buried my fingers in his hair and kissed him back. I pressed my body against his, wanting to feel more of him, all of him. But we could not lie together. Not here, and not when my mind still whirled with questions and uncertainties.
I broke the kiss and our combined sighs of frustration filled the tunnel.
“You shouldn’t make hasty decisions,” I said. “Not until your memory returns. I agree with Yelena on that score.”
He settled his hands on my shoulders and dipped his head to meet my gaze. “I’ve been in that prison cell for two days with nothing but time to think. I know what I’m doing, and I am comfortable with my decision to break the betrothal to Laylana. Just as I’m comfortable with not taking back the Averlea throne.”
My breath hitched, and I looked along the tunnel to make sure Yelena hadn’t heard.
“Don’t tell her yet,” he said, reading my thoughts. “It’s not the right time.”
“That’s a big decision to make, Dane, especially not knowing your past.”
His lips twitched with his smile. “Do you want to be queen? Is that why you’re questioning my decision?”
“You are not taking this seriously enough. In this instance, what I want is irrelevant.”
“If you’re going to be my wife, you have to be involved in important decisions.”
His wife. It was a thrilling notion but somewhat humbling too. “I suppose so.”
“Before you start imagining how big your crown should be, I should tell you what I learned from the other prisoners,” he said.
“Again, you don’t seem to be taking this seriously enough.”
“I am, I promise.”
“So what did you learn from the prisoners in the holding cell?” I asked.
“Not just the prisoners, but the guards too. I asked them about the current system of government in Freedland. They said it was corrupt, taxes were too high, and there wasn’t enough work.”
“That sounds terrible.”
“But they all agreed it was better than what they had forty years ago. One prisoner even remembered King Diamedes. He said he was a vain, small-minded man without compassion. The lower orders were little better than slaves, working for poor wages in horrendous conditions for noble families, and my grandfather encouraged that system. Anyone who spoke against him was tortured and killed, and not just the dissenter but their family too.”
I gasped. “How horrific.”
“The corruption under the royal family was far worse than the corruption of the current regime. All the prisoners and guards agreed that they never wanted to see the country in the hands of a king again. They preferred their leader to be elected by the people.”
I stood beside him and leaned back against the wall for support too. Trust Dane to find out what the ordinary folk thought instead of listening to people like the Rotherhydes. He’d never had much respect for that sort.
“I don’t want to be king in a country that doesn’t want one.” He huffed out a humorless laugh. “I don’t want to be king even if they did want to reinstate the monarchy.”
“You’d make a good king,” I pointed out.
“I don’t want to sit on a throne and issue commands.”
“You already issue commands, every day. But I understand what you’re saying. Being a good monarch means being diplomatic, and you don’t like politics.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “I’m returning to Glancia with you, and I will never come back here.” After a long moment in which neither of us spoke, he said, “Say something.”
I clasped his face in my hands and kissed him. “I am very happy with your decision. Very happy.”
It meant hiding in Glancia somewhere, but so be it. We would do what needed to be done to keep him safe from the Freedland authorities. Part of me still worried that he had made the decision without having his memories, but I doubted that would make a difference. Like he said, he had new memories now, and those ones had shaped him just as much as the ones he’d lost.
I had no idea how long we were down in the hidden chambers and tunnels. Time slipped by unnoticed with no daylight to mark its passing. We ate when we were hungry and slept when we were tired. We played cards and dice that Jenny had given to Erik, and we talked. Yelena did not pressure Dane about the throne again, but they didn’t talk much, either. She often set herself apart from the rest of us.
I was pleased to see he chatted easily with Martha. His attention lifted her spirits, and she delighted in telling him all about his childhood, his friends, and what he liked and didn’t like, most of which were the same as now. She told him anecdotes of the various scrapes he’d got into as a boy, and she grew a little misty-eyed when she spoke about a stray dog that had followed him home one day and he’d adopted as a pet. I listened but tried not to intrude, although in the cramped chamber, it was impossible not to feel a part of their discussion.
Dane didn’t hide his love for me from anyone, choosing to kiss me in front of his mother whenever he felt like it. She kept her face impassive and pretended not to notice. Martha always looked away, but not before I saw the worry in her eyes.
When he wasn’t chatting to Martha, Dane seemed distracted. He often walked the length of the tunnels and did not get lost once. He sparred with Max and Quentin, and he walked with Erik as the Marginer began to feel better. The lack of exercise and light seemed to frustrate Dane, however, and his restlessness only grew worse as we headed into what I guessed to be our third day underground.
Dane was on one of his tunnel walks when Eeliss arrived with Jenny. As a Freedland woman, her arrival at the Rotherhydes’ house would not raise any suspicions if the house was being watched. With a basket of laundry in her arms, her disguise wouldn’t be questioned.
We all rose to greet them and peppered Jenny with questions about the boat.
“If you let me speak, I’ll tell you,” she said with a grunt. “The boat’s been fixed and the captain’s ready. You leave tonight.”
We all breathed sighs of relief. Then came more questions about our departure. Jenny passed on the instructions from the captain before she left with Eeliss, but not before she embraced Max one last time.
He watched her go, his expression thoughtful, until Meg took his hand in hers. Then he smiled at her and kissed her gently on the mouth.
“Captain’ll be pleased to get out of these tunnels,” Quentin said. “He can’t stand being cooped up down here.”
“He’s been gone a while,” Theodore said, look
ing along the tunnel. “I hope he didn’t get lost.”
“He knows his way around,” Max said.
Max and Quentin went in search of him, only to both return with confused frowns. My heart plunged and my gut tightened.
“We looked everywhere,” Max said. “He’s gone.”
Chapter 4
“Merdu, no!” Yelena cried. “They’ve taken him!” She picked up her skirts and ran off in the direction of the ladder.
“No one has come down here except Eeliss and Jenny,” I called after her.
She disappeared around the corner. I followed her to bring her back before she exposed our location.
“Listen to me,” I said when I caught up to her. When she still didn’t stop, I grabbed her arm.
She tried to shake me off, but I held firmly. She hissed at me. “Let go.”
“If someone entered from the trapdoor in the garden, they would have had to pass us. We would have seen them. If they’d come the other way, from the house, it’s unlikely they would have gone unnoticed. If they did, then we would have heard Dane defending himself. Sounds travel in these tunnels.”
The others crowded behind us. Someone held up a candle and I could make out the wildness in Yelena’s eyes as she glared at me. That and her fear. I sympathized. I felt it too. Despite what I’d said, I wasn’t entirely sure Dane had left of his own accord.
“Why would he just walk out there into danger?” she snapped. “It’s madness.”
Madness or a calculated risk—time would reveal which. He must have gone to speak to the authorities to either clear his name or pretend he was merely a lookalike for the deceased Dane March. Whatever his plan, it was not only flawed, it was foolish.
I felt utter despair at the thought of him once again returning to a prison cell to await his execution. This time they might not wait to execute him. They might dispatch him the moment he showed his face.
I clutched my throat as bile rose.
Yelena took my hand, a sudden and unexpected sympathizer.